


The Daryl Dixon Diet

by gneebee



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), bethyl - Fandom
Genre: Bethyl Babies, Bethyl Love, Drinking, F/M, Humor, Love, Mild Smut, Partying, Pregnancy, Romance, Sex Is Fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 116,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28774368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gneebee/pseuds/gneebee
Summary: Lots of Love, Laughs, Partying and Babies. This story began as just a fun little one shot but took on a life of it's own. I'm migrating it over from FF and at 32 chapters it's still a WIP. I will be updating it again soon.If you're in it for the fun I hope you'll give The Daryl Dixon Diet a try!
Relationships: Dary Dixon & Beth Greene, Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene
Comments: 20
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter One

She'd been chewing his ass out for the past half hour. He'd never seen her so pissed off, acting like she hated the very air he was breathing. She was usually so sweet and so mellow, she was his Baby. What the fuck was going on?

"That's it, I'm going on a diet!" she was yelling at him.

"Diet? C'mon ya weigh like a buck ten," he almost smiled.

"Not that kind of diet, a Daryl Dixon diet! In other words I've had it Daryl!" Damn, she'd snapped.

"What the fuck Beth? What did I do? Ya told me to go ahead n go. Ya said it, 'Go on down ta the Mad Dawg Tavern an have a few beers with Merle.' Ya said ya wanted ta watch yer chick flicks. And Baby that's all I done, then I come right home ta you. Just like I always do," He was feeling all confused.

"You're a jackass Daryl, you came home reeking of cheap perfume, and I'm not talking about the cheap perfume you got me for Christmas, some other woman's cheap perfume!" she was out for bear and he was running scared. He may be bigger, stronger and faster, but he knew as well as he knew his own name, she could kick his ass.

And besides that, damn, that Chanel No. 5 shit had not been cheap, not even a little.

"Beth, Baby, I told ya it was probably from Merle's hook-up. She come up ta me and give me a big ol' nasty hug. I told her ta save that shit for Merle," he was feeling guilty even though he knew he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Do you know the crap I put up with from you Daryl? You drag me out here to live in the woods, smack dab in the middle of nowhere," she began.

"Wait Baby, you told me ya like it here," damn had she lied?

"Well I do, but that was just lucky for me. Then there's the smoking in the house, the dead animals on the porch, your underwear on the bathroom floor and your apparent aversion to regular showering," oh she was on a roll.

"Well let's make this simple girl, is there anythin' about me ya do like?" now he was gonna get into it with her real serious. Maybe.

"I don't know, I'm trying to think of something," she wasn't backing down.

She had more to say, "You snarl, you always seem half pissed off, I don't think there's a shirt left in your closet you haven't torn the sleeves off of, you eat food straight out of of the jar, you never want to hang out with my friends, you wear the same holey pants for a week, your hair has gotten ridiculously long - I don't even know how you can see through it, and you make more messes than a two year old. I'm constantly cleaning up after you!"

And that's when he did it, he interrupted her and said the worst thing a man can say to a pissed off woman, he'd tied his own noose, he may as well just shoot himself now, in fact he was praying the earth would just open up and swallow him because, well he'd asked her, "What the hell, ya on yer period or sumthin'?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew he couldn't grab them back, and he could swear he saw fire comin' out of her eyes and steam comin' out of her ears.

"I'm out of here Daryl, it's NOT been nice knowing you!" and she grabbed her purse and her cellphone and she was out the door and jumping in her ancient Chrysler LA Baron.

He figured she'd calm down and call him later, but it'd been hours and he hadn't heard a thing.

Merle stopped by in his usual loud, gregarious mood and he told him what he asked her. "Ah fuck Baby Brother, ya want me ta just kill ya? Or maybe you could hop a freight n get the hell outta town." And then he laughed so hard he nearly hit the ground. He's a dumbass.

"Shut up Merle, I gotta figure out how ta make this right, yer girlfriend last night got me in a world a trouble."

"My girlfriend last night? What did Suzy have ta do with this?" Merle grinned.

"Her name was Cindy dumbass, she was hangin' all over ya, then she give me that big hug an left her perfume smell on me. Now Beth thinks I done her wrong. She jumped all over me, chewed my ass up one side an down the other. That's when I said it, an then she stormed out that door an I ain't seen or heard from her in hours," Daryl was getting a little panicky.

"Ya see there little brother? That's why I never wanted a regular woman, way too complicated for ol' Merle."

After Merle left Daryl busied himself around the place. He cleaned, he did laundry, and then he even showered and made a valiant effort to give himself a haircut.

He walked to a little clearing in the woods, picked a bouquet of wildflowers and put them in a jar on the kitchen table. He cooked up a rabbit stew.

Then he called her. When she answered the phone he wasn't too proud to beg, "Baby please come home, ya got me all kinds a heartbroke. I know I'm a stupid sumbitch n I make yer life fuckin' miserable, but just give me one more chance." All he heard on the other end was her cryin' and then the phone went dead.

About 20 minutes later, when he'd given up hope, he heard her car pull up in the driveway. He went to the door and opened it just about the time she got to the porch.

"Daryl, what did you do to your hair?! You cut off all your nice hair!" she seemed upset.

"Beth, Baby, I thought you didn't like my hair in my eyes, I's just tryin' ta make ya happy," okay, now he knew for sure, he couldn't do anything right.

"Oh Daryl, I just don't know what to do. I couldn't take it if you left me for another woman," and she burst into hysterical crying. Okay now he was gettin' worried, she'd lost her goddamn mind for sure, what had happened to his sweet, sweet Beth?

"Beth, Baby, ya know yer the only woman for me, no one before, and no one else ever. I love ya, I ain't ever gonna love anyone else. I'ma love ya the rest a my life. What can I do ta prove it to ya?" he didn't know what else to say.

"Oh Daryl I was so mean to you and look, you've showered, and you cut your hair, cleaned the house, cooked dinner but I really don't want you to change. I fell in love with Daryl Dixon, I love you just the way you are," and she was sobbing.

"What the hell's wrong Beth? Please just tell me what's wrong, let me make it right," he was at a loss.

"Oh Daryl, don't you get it? I'm not having my period Daryl, I'm pregnant."

And that's when he fainted.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's find out what happened after poor Daryl fainted :-)

Daryl was still pissed at Beth, well he hadn't told her he was, but dammit, he was. Why did she tell Merle he'd fainted? He'd taken endless shit from his brother all week while she just thought it was the cutest, funniest thing ever. He was beginning to think his Baby and his brother had some unholy alliance and he was their target.

Just to make his life really miserable she'd announced they were going to the farm together tomorrow to tell her Daddy and Mama she was pregnant. Why the hell did she need him there? Well, okay, maybe that was only fair, but still. How was her old man gonna take it when he found out that his sweet little 24 year old daughter was pregnant by a 36 year old redneck? There was no way this wasn't going to go badly for Daryl. Hell, he knew the old man owned guns. Shit.

Beth had talked to her Mama and they'd be having Sunday dinner at the farm, so that was the bright side. At least his last meal would be sumthin' good.

Everything was goin' just fine and then over dessert Beth just blurted the news right out, without even warning him, "Mama, Daddy, Daryl and I have some really exciting news, guess what? We're having a baby!" Holy Mother of God!

That's when he discovered Hershel Greene had super powers. The old man's eyes shot death rays at him and he was positive he felt himself wither in place.

He was sure everyone in the room, including him, was holding their breath. Then outta the blue the old man says, "The wedding will be here next Saturday. I'll get Reverend Wright over to perform the ceremony and Annette, please organize the food and the guest list," and then he looked right at Daryl and said, "sounds good, doesn't it son?"

And all Daryl could come up with was, "Uh, yeah, uh sounds great." He could see Maggie and Glenn trying to hold in the laughter, but Beth and her mama were just beaming. Damn.

It wasn't like he didn't love Beth, hell she was everything to him since the minute he'd seen her. He'd walked into the small bar, not really his type of joint but he just wanted a quick beer on his way home. When she took the stage he knew instantly he was never gonna want to be without her. She must have felt the same cuz she'd gone home with him that night a year and a half ago and never left. He had no complaints.

But he'd never really thought about getting married, well shit, he'd never thought about ever having a steady woman, much less having a kid. Course it didn't seem like he had to do any thinking, they were doin' his thinking for him. Probably just as well.

She was so excited on the drive home, "Oh Daryl I'm so happy, I love you so much, aren't you happy?"

"You know I am baby," and he wasn't even lying. Wow.

Beth was fluttering around all week getting stuff ready for the wedding. She'd been picking out what she was wearing, picking out what he was wearing, helping her mama and her sister get everything just right at the farm. Well, except in the mornings when she spent an hour or so throwing up. He was gettin' ready to call an exorcist about that.

No one asked him any questions about what he'd like or what he thought, which was a good thing. Shit, he'd never even been to a wedding. They didn't even want him to pick out a ring, she was gonna wear her grandmas. Well, he did do something. He bought her a little something, cuz damn, he wasn't a complete dumbass. Sheesh.

He only had the one guest to invite, Merle, and he'd thought twice about lettin' him come. The asshole was still ridin' him about his fainting spell. But since he planned to ask him to be best man he thought he should probably have him there. When he told his brother what happened Merle just slapped him on the back, laughed, hard, and said, "well little brother, she already owns yer balls might as well give her the resta of your life." And Merle was right. Crap.

Beth had spent the night at the farm cuz she didn't want him to see her before the wedding. He hated sleeping without her, well hell, he'd hardly slept. Anymore, he needed her there beside him to get any rest at all. Damn.

He put on the black jeans and white dress shirt she'd picked out for him, along with his black motorcycle boots and his black leather vest with the angel wings. Shit, he wore that same damn thing every time they went out, you mean she liked it? You mean he'd done something right?

When Daryl and Merle got to the farm he was amazed at what they'd done to the place. There were picnic tables set-up with white, yellow and pink cloths and lots of flowers. There was some long white cloth laid on the ground that led up to an arbor that was also covered with flowers. Hershel and Annette's neighbors, Patricia and her husband Otis were setting up all kinds of food on long table under an awning. It was pretty damn impressive.

Maggie pounced right on him telling him where to stand, what to do, what to say, while Merle just grinned from ear to ear, "You gonna be there ta tell him what ta do on the honeymoon too Sugar?"

Daryl thought he'd kill his brother right then, but Maggie just smiled and said, "I would do that, but judging by my little sister's delicate condition I'm guessing that's something he figured out all on his own." Then she and Merle just laughed and laughed.

Fuck.

Then the old man came over and politely told Merle and Maggie he'd like to have a private talk with his new son. Oh Sweet Baby Jesus, help me please!

"I'm not too pleased about the circumstances of this wedding son but my Bethie seems happy and very much in love, so I'm going to make the best of things. Now, tell me, how do you plan to make my daughter happy?"

There it was. "Well, um, I always do whatever the hell she wants me to and that seems to make her happy most of the time," that was all he could come up with.

The old man just laughed. "Well that's a good start. Now I hear your place is in the woods, tell me about that," this wasn't gonna end soon.

"Well, I bought 15 acres of land and for the most part built the cabin myself. There was just me back then so it ain't real big, two bedrooms. I think it's pretty nice and Beth says she does too. It's secluded and all, but it ain't so remote I can't get to town easy enough for work and for whatever Beth needs," well damn, he'd done okay with that.

"Well, if you bought yourself that much ground and built a place you must have a little money. What is it exactly that you do? Beth says it has something to do with jets."

Daryl was hoping this was the last of the questions, he was already sweating bullets and he hadn't even seen Beth yet. Shit. "Yessir, I went to airline mechanic and maintenance school right outta high school. Two year program, I specialize in jet engines. I work for an outfit that builds private jets for companies and for rich folks. Been in this line of work about 16 years now. We're just finishing up a big order for a Japanese corporation," he felt kinda proud.

"That sounds pretty good son, I just don't ever want my sweet little Bethie to go without," the old man stated.

"Yeah, I don't want that either sir. I plan ta take real good care of her." Gee, maybe the old boy didn't hate him too much. Cool.

After he'd been thoroughly vetted he got to meet Beth's brother, Shawn. He and his fiancé had come up from the University of Georgia just for the wedding. Nice.

Everyone seemed like good people, but he really couldn't remember anything anyone said cuz by now he's a wreck. He just wants to see Beth, get this deal done, and get back to the woods with her.

Finally Maggie tells him and Merle they need to get in their places. The brothers might be dumbasses, but they realize it's probably not a good idea for them to walk on that white cloth, they'll surely fuck something up, so they carefully walk beside it and up to the arbor. The reverend is standing in the center and they're too his left. All Daryl's able to think is, "Where's Beth? I need her."

Suddenly he hears the music start and Maggie begins a slow and methodical walk down the white cloth toward him and Merle, then he sees her. Damn, she knows he loves her in pink and she's wearing a pretty little sundress with a white background and a zillion pink flowers on it. Her boots are white and come to just below her knees, and she's wearing her hair just the way he loves it, hanging down and curly. She has a little crown of pink, yellow and white flowers on her head and he's captivated. He's always known she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but right now, he's stunned. How can it be that she's prettier than ever.

Merle lightly touches his shoulder and quietly whispers, "Ya got ya a true beauty right there baby brother." Merle said that? Wow.

When she reaches him all he wants is to take her in his arms and hang on tight, but he figures someone would kill him for that. Probably Maggie. So he just stands there staring at her, and hoping to God he doesn't faint again.

He repeats what the reverend tells him to repeat, but he can't really think too much about the words, he can't think about anything but her. Then the preacher tells him to place the ring on her finger and he starts to feel a little woozy, that's when he feels Merle's hand on his back again, "ya got this baby brother, c'mon now," and he takes a deep breath and recovers. Merle was nice to him twice in one day?! What?!

When the reverend says he can kiss her he doesn't hesitate, in fact he gets a little carried away and the reverend has to start loudly clearing his throat. Whoops!

They start to walk back up the cloth together, they're holding tight to each others' hands and the guests are clapping loudly. When they get to the end of the cloth he hands her the little box he's been carrying in his pocket, and says, "I love you Beth Dixon, love you so much, ya got my heart forever."

She opens the little box and it's a gold heart shaped locket, on the back it's inscribed with their names and the date. She throws her arms around his neck and they start in on the extra serious kissing. At least they do until he feels a taps on his shoulder. It's Daddy and he asks him, "Son isn't that the kind of behavior that got you in trouble in the first place?"

Daryl kinda likes her old man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it and that you'll leave a review. I love ya large! xo gneebee


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mister Dixon's Pregnancy 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's visit the Dixons and see how Daryl's handling this pregnancy.

Mister Dixon's Pregnancy

They couldn't take a honeymoon because Daryl was facing a deadline at work to complete those jets destined for Japan. He'd taken Monday off only, and they'd settle for an extended weekend alone at the cabin. They planned a week in Savannah as soon as the order was out.

He'd kept his drinking to a single beer at the reception, he wanted their first night as a married couple to be a memorable one.

Beth was the only woman he'd ever made love to, oh he'd screwed a few, but this was different. He loved Beth, even that first night when they barely knew each others names, he knew she was it for him. He worshiped her.

He liked to take his time with her. He loved her breasts. When they were first together she had felt embarrassed because they were small, he'd told her, "They're beautiful baby, perfect, and besides, more than a mouthful is a waste." She'd told him that was disgusting, but she'd laughed and said she loved him.

Tonight they'd made love like it was the first time they'd ever seen each others bodies, they touched, they kissed and they stopped to admire everything. Daryl always liked to concentrate on satisfying her, he seemed to derive as much pleasure from her pleasure as he did from his own. He never would have thought that was even a possibility before her.

They had kept at it like a couple of hormone overloaded teenagers all night long and he was pretty proud of himself for all the happiness he seemed to have brought her way, and then damn if she didn't jump up right outta the bed, run in the bathroom and puke like she'd been drinking all night. Male ego sufficiently deflated.

XXXXX

Hell, he didn't know anything about pregnancy, why would he? He'd never been around any pregnant women in his life, and that had suited him just fine, but when Beth got pregnant it was Daryl's baptism by fire.

She'd been puking every morning now for several weeks. It had gotten so bad he thought he was gonna start puking too. He didn't know what to do except hold her hair. He felt terrible for Beth, and a helpless feeling for a take charge kind of man is a tough way to go. And even though she told him it was normal, her mom told him it was normal, and the guys at work told him it was normal, Daryl insisted on going to the Doctor with her and finding out why the fuck they couldn't cure this thing.

So when her name was called at Dr. Carol Peletier's office, Daryl just marched right in that room with her like a raging bull. He was gonna kick ass and take names. He didn't let the doc even get a word out, he just got right down to business, what the fuck, and how the fuck ya gonna fix it, was pretty much the gist of it.

Beth was trying hard not to smile, she knew he was just trying to help her, so how could she be mad? She loved this man with every fiber of her being and loving Daryl Dixon meant putting up with his quirks, his intensity, his angst and his serious case of over protectiveness, it was all just part of the package.

The doc seemed to be squelching a grin herself as she tried to explain to him what morning sickness is, that it is a normal part of pregnancy and typically didn't last longer than the first three months. She assured him that everything about Beth's pregnancy to date was perfectly normal. She suggested a book for him to read. He just said, "Yeah." And everyone in the room knew he was never gonna read the damn book.

About the time the puking stopped, crying at the drop of a hat started. Daryl was walking on eggshells. Shit, if he said it was hot out she'd start crying and sayin' she was sorry, if he said he was tired she'd start cryin' and sayin' she was sorry, if he said it had been a crazy day at work, she'd start cryin' and say she was sorry. The fuck? So he changed his approach, he said she was pretty and she started cryin and sayin he was just tryin' not to make her feel so big and ugly. Shit. She told him it was normal, and her mom said it was normal, and the guys at work thought it was normal. But Daryl wasn't havin' it, he wasn't gonna have his Beth sad and miserable all the damn time, someone had to fuckin' do somethin'. So he insisted on goin' with her to the doc.

When her name was called he stormed right in the exam room with her, before the doc could get a word out he was all worked up and sayin' he wasn't gonna have his wife a miserable fuckin' wreck all the damn time, sumthin' had to be wrong and he wanted sumthin' done about this shit and NOW!

The doc looked over at Beth and she just shrugged and tried not to smile, and the doc tried not to smile, and the doc said to Daryl, "I know it must be very hard on you Daryl, but please believe me when I tell you, it's a normal part of pregnancy. Beth's hormones are all out of kilter, you understand how that is. This too shall pass, she'll be back to her sweet happy self before you know it. Just be patient. I promise the pregnancy is progressing normally and Beth is doing wonderfully. Did you read the book?" He just grunted.

Just days after that, BOOM! The oversexed Beth made her presence known. At first Daryl was lovin' every damn minute a this shit, holy cow, she wanted it morning noon and night, couldn't seem to get enough. He was feelin' like a damn stud. But after the first week or so, he was feelin' kinda puny. She was fuckin' wearin' him out. By the end of the second week he'd lost seven pounds and he had bags under his eyes. She seemed happy, but he was a wreck. She said it was normal, he sure as fuck wasn't asking her mom or the guys at work, who else did he have to consult?

He took Merle out for a beer and asked him. That fuckin' Merle, he practically fell off his ga'damn barstool just a'laughin' like a fuckin' maniac and all he had ta say about it was, "Sounds pretty fuckin' fantastic ta me Baby Brother, you jus' go on and give Merle a call if ya need some help with that. But now, you better just be a brave little soldier get on home and mount that mountain." And the sumbitch just kept on laughin'.

He got home and told her he was goin' to her doctor appointment with her, he was gonna find out just what the fuck. He liked it as much as the next guy, but shit, a man needed a rest once in a while. And then they made love.

When her name was called at the docs office Daryl stomped right into the exam room and he was fuming. He wanted to know what the fuck had happened to his sweet Beth, I mean shit, they'd always had a good thing goin' in the sex department, but suddenly it was like she didn't care about him no more, he was just her damn stud service and he was fuckin' exhausted, he'd now lost 10 pounds and he could hardly stay awake at work. What the hell was the doc gonna do about this shit, he wanted his regular Beth back.

The doc glanced over at Beth and she was trying hard not to laugh or smile, and the doc was trying hard not to laugh or smile, and the doc said to Daryl, "Remember when we talked about hormones and her crying? Well this is the very same thing, just manifesting itself in a different way. Pregnancy gets hormones all out of whack, Daryl. This too shall pass, you need to be patient. Beth is having a very normal pregnancy, I promise you that. Now, would you think about reading that book?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking about it." Everyone in the room knew Daryl was never reading the book.

Then the snackin' started. Daryl felt like that janky little dude who worked at the closest convenience store was becoming his actual pal. He was there every fuckin' night buyin' her ice cream, or chips, or cheese dip, or Twinkies, or popcorn, or Nacho Cheese Doritos, or for gawd sake, a can of olives. I mean, the fuck? They had a pantry fulla food, but it was always sumthin' they didn't have that she just had ta have, not that he minded. He'd do anything to make his Beth happy, but the night she dipped a piece of beef jerky in a jar of caramel ice cream topping, he panicked. She told him it was normal, her mom told him it was normal, the guys at work said it was normal, but it didn't seem right ta him and he wasn't having his Beth get sick. He told her he was goin' to her next doctor appointment, and dammit, that was that.

When her name was called he thundered right into the exam room. Before the doc could get a word out of her mouth he was waving his arms and demanding a fix to this latest curse that had befallen his Beth. She was eatin' all manner a crazy shit she never woulda ate before. She liked all that organic crap and eatin' clean, and now she wanted fuckin' Twinkies! What the fuck was the doc gonna do about this shit?

The doc looked over to Beth and Beth just shook her head side to side and tried not to smile.

"Remember Daryl, pregnancy is fraught with strange feelings and lots of odd cravings. I'm sure you read that in the book (okay, now doc was bein' a smart ass), pregnancy has been known to turn vegetarians into meat eaters and carnivores into vegetarians. I have no doubt Beth will go back to her normal eating habits after this pregnancy is over. Okay? It's normal, you just have to be patient."

Well then came the straw that broke the camel's back. He came home from work, the cabin was dark, he freaked a little, no denyin' that. He finally located her layin' on their bed, she didn't want him to come near her and she for damn sure didn't want him to touch her. She said she was too fat, too ugly, too disgusting. What the fuck, she was still skinny as a rail, yeah she had a little belly on her, she looked like a damn piss ant pushin' a watermelon. If anything, he thought she was too skinny, seemed like she oughta be bigger. And he'd be damned if he was gonna sleep in the other room and not be near his Beth. He couldn't even ask her, and he wasn't askin' the guys at work, or his dumbass brother, but her mom said it was normal. Nah, he needed his Beth and he wasn't havin' it any other way but him and her in the same fuckin' bed. Period. He said he was goin' to her next doc appointment come hell or high water.

When her name was called he charged in the exam room, he gave that doc what for. He wasn't havin' this, he needed to be with his wife. He didn't want her thinkin' any bad thoughts about herself, she was the most beautiful woman in the fuckin' world, and dammit, she was his and he wanted ta be sleepin' by her side every fuckin' night for the rest of his damn life and what the fuck was the doc gonna do about that?

The doc looked over at Beth and for once she wasn't suppressing a smile.

The doc asked, "Beth, do you love Daryl?"

"Yes, of course I do, I love him more than anyone or anything else in the world."

"Then Beth, you have to let Daryl share the bed with you tonight. He loves you too, and you'll feel comforted having him there next to you. Let him show you that he loves you. That's doctor's orders."

And thankfully, she let him in the bed that night and he held her all night long, professing his love for her, reassuring her, and they made love. It was a good night.

Two weeks later she went into labor. Daryl was in full on survival mode. He put her case in the pick-up, then he got her in the pick-up, then he fell to his knees in the yard and puked his guts up, then he ran in the house, brushed his teeth right quick, ran out to the pick-up and drove like a bat outta hell to the hospital.

He didn't like feelin' powerless, but holy fuckin' crap, he didn't know what the fuck to do. She was yellin' at him and callin' him everything but her loving husband. He didn't know why she wanted to have this natural child birth. It didn't seem like a good idea at all. There were drugs for chrissake, why not take a few, take the damn edge off? But no, his Beth had gone back to her damn organic and clean ways. Now she had released the fury on him. He was okay with that though, he'd rather be the one in pain, the one to suffer, fuck, it broke his ga'damn heart to see her hurtin'.

The doc was givin' them instructions, but Daryl couldn't concentrate on that, all he could do was lean over and keep tellin' her he loved her and he was sorry, and he was the fuckin' asshole of creation for getting' her pregnant in the first damn place.

Finally the baby made its appearance. Shit, Daryl even cut the damn cord. He looked at her and said, "You're the toughest damn person I ever did know Beth Dixon, you kick ass. I'm the luckiest son of a bitch in the whole fuckin' world. I love ya girl."

She gave him a tired little smile and whispered, "I love you too Mister Dixon."

Doc said, "Well it's a bouncing baby boy, what do you think you'll name him?"

Beth didn't hesitate, "Daryl, Jr."

"Oh hell no, don't curse the poor little fella," Daryl protested.

Doc moved up on the other side of the bed until she was next to Beth, she leaned over and said, "You're a very lucky woman Beth Dixon, I have never seen a man who loves a woman more than Daryl loves you. Oh he gets a little intense sometimes, and he's a bit excitable, but he's always got your best interests at heart and he's endlessly entertaining. Don't ever let that one go."

Beth just smiled and said, "I never will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it wasn't easy but our boy survived! And now we have a Baby Daryl. I wonder how that will go. Thank you for reading, please review. Love You Large! gneebee xo


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a lot of fun for me to write. I love this fierce, volatile, but very tender Daryl. I originally intended this story to be Daryl speak (POV) for the most part, but I thought if we're going to keep at this we ought to find out what's going through Beth's mind once in a while. Also, I thought y'all would like to know how they met in the first place. So here we go, then we'll get back to how Daryl is dealing with life. It's never easy to be Daryl.

**_Beth's POV_ **

She was watching him walk the floor with D.J., and thinking how much she loved him and her mind wandered to how they'd met.

Everything about Daryl was intense and the night they met was no exception. She smiled remembering, 'whirlwind romance' wasn't quite accurate, it was faster than that.

After she'd exhausted the four music and four art class offerings, she lost interest in college. She took a job as the receptionist at Grover Electronics to fund her life while she figured out her next move. When they were bought out by a mega corporation everyone lost their job. She had some savings, plus her unused college money, and she decided to keep living in the apartment she and Amy shared until she had to move back to the farm with her mom and dad. So far, she was hanging on.

She'd been singing a set or two on Friday and Saturday nights at a small bar and eatery catering to college students. They were able to give her a Monday through Friday job waitressing during the busy lunch hour. She wasn't making much money, but it paid for meals and helped toward the rent.

She was just strumming the first chord of Tom Waits' "Hold On" when he walked in. To say he stood out in the crowd would be an understatement. He was at least 10 years older than the other customers, and he definitely looked more like a biker than a college student. He had long dark hair, plenty of facial scruff, and he was wearing a black t-shirt, a black leather vest, black jeans and black motorcycle boots.

She couldn't take her eyes off of him and he couldn't seem to take his off her. It was like they were having a staring contest – with lightning bolts.

He continued to stand there watching her until she completed her set. She walked off the small stage and right to him. She didn't say anything she just looked at him, and he said, "Girl, you are so damn beautiful I can't take my eyes offa you. Can I buy ya somethin' ta drink, or somethin' ta eat, or a house or a car, or any other fuckin' thing ya want?" The weird thing was, it didn't even sound like a pick-up line or come on. It sounded like he meant every word.

So she smiled, "How about we start with a glass of wine?"

They went to the bar and he asked her what she'd like, he ordered the Pinot she requested and himself a draft, then simply said, "I'm Daryl Dixon."

So she replied, "I'm Beth Greene."

"Well Beth Greene, I got no game and I ain't sure what the hell ta do. I just know I wanna be with ya, spend time with ya. When do ya get off work?"

She couldn't believe she was going along with this she was usually so cautious about everything, especially guys. Yet she answered, "I have one more set, what do you have in mind Mister Dixon."

That made him almost smile, "Yer gonna be trouble for me Greene, I can see it comin'."

"I don't cause trouble," she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Yer causing me trouble right now. I should go on home and fix myself some dinner. Instead I'ma hang around here 'til yer off work then I'ma beg ya ta get on the back a my motorcycle and ride off with me."

"Okay, I'll go," she said softly.

"Serious?" He was surprised.

"Yes, I'm serious, but I want a helmet," she smiled.

"Shit girl, I'll give ya mine, my jacket, my vest, whatever ya want it's yours," now he did smile.

They ended up at his cabin in the woods. She loved it. It wasn't big but it had a spacious feel with a great living area, a nice kitchen, two bedrooms and a big bathroom. It had a wonderful front porch complete with a couple of wooden rocking chairs. It seemed just like a place he would belong. It was him.

They sat on his big overstuffed sofa and talked but he seemed reluctant to talk about himself, he wanted to know about her.

He offered to cook her dinner, make her a drink, whatever she wanted. He seemed genuinely interested in pleasing her. He was attentive and anxious without seeming at all creepy or fake. In fact, she would bet money there wasn't one thing phony about Daryl Dixon.

She had to practically pry information out of him with a crowbar. Oh he was fine with telling her about his job, his hobbies, his place, his motorcycle, but he was uncomfortable talking about himself. She'd find out all the awful reasons as their relationship progressed and she would come to see him as a true survivor.

"I ain't kiddin' when I tell ya I'm not the kinda guy that brings women home from a bar, or from anywhere else. I finished buildin' this place five years ago and yer the first woman's ever been here. I ain't one a them guys. It's just...as soon as I seen ya I knew I wanted ya here with me."

She wasn't sure how to respond so she was shocked when she heard herself say, "Then why haven't you kissed me Daryl Dixon?"

e did, and they did, and then they ended up in his bedroom. He showed her what it was like to have a man make love to her, not just have sex but hold her, touch her and claim her like he worshiped her, loved her and wanted nothing more than to bring her happiness and pleasure.

Like everyone Beth had her own insecurities. In the morning she thought to herself, well now he'll probably hurry up and get me home, tell me he'll call me and I'll never hear from him again. I can't believe I'm so stupid. Why did I just give myself to him so easily?

But Daryl Dixon surprised her when he asked, "Ya like eggs? I can cook pretty good eggs and toast and I don't make a bad pot a coffee. Sound okay?" He was propped up on one elbow leaning over her, with a sincere look on his face like he was hoping she'd agree to let him cook for her.

"That sounds very nice Daryl, but let me help," she smiled suddenly feeling shy and she could tell she was blushing.

"Nah, I got this, yer turn next time. Then we'll just make breakfast together after that."

She couldn't quite believe it, had he just said next time and beyond? Wow.

After breakfast he wanted to take her in his pick up to get her stuff. God only knows why, but she agreed. They got her things, some clothes, shoes, toiletries, her guitar, and her ancient car. She never looked back.

Well, there was that day she got her psycho freak-out on, when she'd first known positively she was pregnant. She was pretty sure she knew when it happened, because they were always careful. But there was that Saturday afternoon Merle had shown up with jars of moonshine and they had all gotten a little crazy. Merle had ended up passed out on their sofa and she and Daryl had gone to bed, gotten frisky, and hadn't even thought about protection. As Daryl liked to say, "That dumbass Merle."

She was just glad she'd finally calmed down and gone home to the person she needed most.

And now as she looked at her husband holding their baby boy, and whispering to the little guy how great he is and how much he loves him, she knows why she fell in love with this wonderfully quirky, angsty, over protective, and intense man. He's her everything and there isn't one thing she would ever change about him. She's his and he's hers and she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, she's the luckiest woman in the world.

** _Daryl's POV_ **

He's looking at her sitting on the sofa just kind of staring off in space. He knows she's tired but she didn't complain. D.J. has been going through a bout of bellyaches – she calls 'em colic - and she's been up a lot the last couple nights.

He'd wanted to go with her to the doc and she'd let him, but this time she laid down the law. There wasn't gonna be none a of this storming into Doc Bob's office raising hell and demanding answers. She appreciated how concerned he always was, and the way he cared for her and their baby, but she wasn't gonna have him blowing a gasket over everything. She'd let him know if he needed to break out the big guns, other than that they were just there to make sure things were fine and to ask calm, sensible questions.

He promised he'd try.

He got to thinking about how he'd come to be with her, and it made him smile a little as he cuddled D.J. closer.

He'd never been in that college kid bar, never planned to go there. He and Merle were more of the dive bar on the edge of town kinda guys. But it had been a bitch of a day at work with some bad parts comin' in and a deadline breathin' down his neck. He was damn glad it was Friday. He was just gonna have one cold one at the joint then go home, grill a chop and smooth everything out with a little Jack D.

But when he walked in that bar and saw her he didn't give a fuck what had happened that day, how hungry he was or if a herd a fuckin' zombies came in the joint. He was hypnotized. She was perfect.

Her hair was blond and pulled up in some kind of off center ponytail, all kinds of hairs seemed to have gotten lose and it was sexy as hell. She appeared awfully small and a little underfed, but it was workin' for her and for him. She had the most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen, pale white skin and damn, she sang like a fuckin' angel.

He felt like the dirty old man but he just couldn't take his eyes off her. She must have been okay with that cuz she was lookin' at him every bit as hard as he was lookin' at her.

When she stopped singing she'd come right up to him. He didn't know how he ever had the nerve ta say anythin' to her. He was no talker, and he sure didn't know nuthin' about how ta talk ta women. Not like that dumbass Merle, he could really turn it on.

When Daryl got laid it was cuz some drunk broad was all over his drunk ass in a bar and they'd have a quick roll. That was that. No strings.

But this woman, this woman was the kind ya got all stupid over and just handed her yer balls.

Whatever it was he managed to spit out she musta thought it was okay, cuz she went home with him.

He never thought he'd like havin' a woman on the back a his bike, but he liked havin' her there with her arms around him. And she looked fuckin' adorable in his helmet, which was way too big for her.

He sure never had a woman to his place, never wanted one ta even know where he lived. But he wanted her there. He didn't like sittin' around talkin', but he liked talkin' ta her.

And when she asked him why he hadn't kissed her he didn't hesitate. He kissed her and he never wanted ta stop.

He never wanted a permanent woman, never wanted no one ta live with him. He liked bein' on his own. But damn he wanted her there. Didn't wanna stay there himself without her. And she said okay. That's when he felt like his life really started, when Beth came to live with him in the cabin.

When they had ta tell her ma and pops she was pregnant he didn't think he'd live through it. And when her pops had immediately announced they was gettin' married, he was panicked. But the real truth was, he never wanted ta be without Beth and he was happy ta marry her. He was just such a dumbass he never thought to ask her hisself.

He never thought he wanted ta have a baby, but he wanted ta have one with her.

The pregnancy had nearly done him in, he was so worried about her. He knew he'd acted like a raving fuckin' maniac, but hey, nuthin' new about that. He'd do anything ta protect her, and when he couldn't fix her symptoms he just wanted someone else to.

She knew he wasn't gonna read the fuckin' baby book, so about a week before D.J. was born she'd had her mama come ta the house and she sat down with the two of 'em. But really? It was all about Beth and her ma takin' him ta school. They told him about babies, what to expect and the things babies went through, the colic, the teethin', the spittin' up, the sleepless nights. All of it. Her ma kept reassuring him that his baby was gonna be just fine.

And then her mama said, "Daryl, I love you, you're my son now. I ask you most sincerely, when you get overwhelmed with worry and concern please call me, I'll come over, I'll check on the baby. I don't want you getting an ulcer, and I surely don't want you going to jail because you've killed the doctor. Okay?"

And he promised he wouldn't kill the doc. He loves Beth's Mama.

And when he looked at Beth he knew there was never gonna be any better thing in his life than her and her sweet love. She was all his and he was all hers; and he knew like he knew his own fuckin' name that he was the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it. Next time we'll check in and see how Daryl is handling Daddy Duty. Thank you so much for reading, please review. Love ya Large, gneebee xo


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone! Let's see how Daryl does on baby duty :)

He didn't know why the hell she stuck with him, oh he knew she loved him he just couldn't figure out why.

He was always fuckin' up, either sayin' the wrong thing, doin' the wrong thing, or gettin' her hurt.

It's not like he meant to, he was just a general fuck up, plain and simple.

_Like that time…_

He knew she was particular about meat, in fact when they first got together she was a vegetarian. She said she was afraid of meat, fish and poultry that came from a store. She said the meat was probably full of hormones and antibiotics, and the fish probably had mercury.

He didn't get it because for him, if you weren't havin' some meat you weren't eatin'.

But she would eat the game he bagged. She said it was all natural. She liked the venison, the rabbits, why even the squirrel and the wild boar. And fish, if he went fishing she'd eat the fish. Just nothing all wrapped up in a package from the grocery store.

So that was why he didn't think a thing about it when he killed that possum and brought it home. He pulled his knife from the sheath and had just made the cut when he called to her, "I brought dinner home baby." He was gutting it and there was blood and guts all over him, and all over the porch. She opened the screen door, took a step out, looked down at the carnage and puked.

Course he jumped up to go to her but she put a hand up, "Oh no Daryl please, you're covered in that thing's blood. Is that a giant rat?"

Well like a dumbass he laughed at that and said, "No baby, it's a possum. I thought I'd grill it up for supper." And damn if she didn't puke again.

That's when he finally got a clue. "I'm sorry baby, why don't you go on in and lay down. I'll get this all cleaned up out here. I promise you ain't gonna see this thing again, okay?"

She whispered, "Thank you Daryl," and made a beeline for the bathroom.

After he cleaned up the blood, the guts and the puke he'd taken the thing over to Merle who thought that was the funniest story goin', cuz Merle is a dumbass. They grilled it up and it was damn good. Merle just laughed and told him, "Your pretty little blond doesn't know what she's missin'. These giant rats are mighty tasty."

_And then there was the time…_

She wanted him to teach her to track, and she wanted to try shooting his crossbow. He was pretty puffed up about that. "Damn, she's impressed with my skills," he thought to himself.

So they went out early on Saturday morning. She did real good with the signs, he thought she was a natural. And she managed to hold that crossbow up steady and straight. Maybe all that yoga and pilates shit was payin' off. Anyway, he spotted that rabbit and asked her if she wanted to try and shoot it. Surprisingly she said she did and he was proud, well for a minute anyway. He told her to ease closer to it, she did and fuck if she didn't step in a leg hold trap. He ran over and got it off her ankle but damn, he knew that had to hurt like a son of a bitch. Daryl didn't use leg hold traps, too cruel, so at least it wasn't one of his but still he felt guilty anyway. He should have seen the damn thing. Shouldn't have let her get hurt.

On the way to the emergency room she kept telling him it wasn't his fault, he didn't knowingly send her into the jaws of some stupid trap. But that didn't ease his guilt. He wished it was him that stepped in it, not her.

Thank gawd her leg wasn't broke, but she had to wear one a them big ol' boot things for a month.

_And then there was the time…_

It was a beautiful spring late afternoon and Merle showed up with a case of beer and a bottle of Jack, plus a couple of four packs of wine coolers for Beth.

Daryl and Merle got some wood goin' in the firepit and Merle plopped himself down in the chaise and commenced to drinkin' shots of Jack and cans of beer. Daryl had a couple of shots but other than that he stuck to the beers. Beth was sipping on her wine coolers and she was gettin' mellow, but not really drunk. He loved it when she got like that.

After a couple of hours Merle passed out. Daryl couldn't wake him up for nuthin' so he went in, got an old blanket and covered the dumbass up.

He was feelin' a little frisky and he wanted to get his sweet, mellow Beth into the sack. He decided to get all romantic and just scoop her right up in his arms. She was giggling and he was anticipatin' -- then boom! He caught the toe of his boot on the threshold and they both went flyin'. He couldn't believe the noise they made when they landed didn't wake up Merle.

Beth was cryin'. Poor Baby, she took the brunt of the spill. "I'm so sorry Baby, ya okay, ya think anything's broke." Damn, he was an idiot.

But Beth just said, "I'm okay Daryl, I think it scared me more than anything. It started off being pretty fun and sexy so I sure didn't expect this," and damn if she didn't giggle.

"Beth baby, please forgive me. I'm a jerk," he didn't know what the fuck to say.

And she was so damn sweet, she just said, "There's nothing for you to apologize for, I could tell what you had in mind when you picked me up and it sure wasn't throwing us both to the floor. I was looking forward to the other too," and she smiled at him.

"Well, ya want me ta try and pick ya up again? We'll go see if we can't make each other feel better?" he smiled that little half smile.

She grinned, "How about we just walk to the bedroom and do what we both want to do. We'll heal up from these bruises before we try the carry again, okay?" She laughed softly and then damn if they didn't make love half the night. He was the luckiest man in the world, he knew for sure.

Oh he could go on, thinking about the 50 other stupid things he'd done to her, but then he thought about the task at hand.

He'd asked her to quit workin' at the bar after she first moved in. It just didn't sit right with him. She'd accepted that. She did manage to get a few jobs teaching piano, guitar and singing, so that kept her busy and got her out of the house. It wasn't like they needed money, everything Daryl had was paid for and he made great money.

But after D.J. was born she couldn't really do that anymore and she was getting' a little stir crazy.

She, Maggie and their Ma had cooked up a plan to go to Atlanta Saturday, shop, have lunch and get their nails done, the whole nine yards. That oughta be fun for her. They was gonna leave real early and spend the whole day, probably not gettin' home until supper time. He was thinking he'd go huntin', but then she told him she wanted him to take care of D.J. while they were gone. "What?" He'd asked, "Ya don't wanna take him with ya?"

"Daryl, what kind of a ladies day out would it be if we had D.J. with us? You're his Daddy for gosh sake, you'll do just fine with him. I'm going to show you everything you need to know. It's not like you haven't been around him the past three months, same as me," she gave him that smile.

"Yeah, alright, I got this Beth. But shit, I can't very well breast feed him, what's he gonna eat?"

She just smiled, "Daryl I'll pump my breast milk and it will be in individual plastic bags. All you have to do is pour one bag in a bottle and feed him. I'll tell you what times to do that, in fact I'll write it down, okay?"

"Well if he's anything like me I'm sure he'd rather get it straight from you. Can I watch when you pump it," he was grinning now.

"Yes you can Daryl, but I think you're going to be very disappointed," she couldn't help but chuckle.

And by the way, she was right about that. This breast pumping thing was not even a little bit sexy.

Then she went over the burping thing with him. If he didn't get D.J. burped, the baby would have a bad stomachache and Daryl would regret it. The burping didn't seem hard at all.

"And I'm going to show you how to clean him up after he goes potty, and how to put his diaper on, okay?" she smiled. He panicked.

"Wait, I have to change diapers? That don't sound good."

"Daryl, in this day and age most Daddies change just as many diapers as the Mommy does. I've gone easy on you because, well, I know you can get a little tense about certain things, but you'll do just fine."

Oh yeah? Well he wasn't so sure, but he wasn't gonna say nuthin'. She deserved a day out. He had this.

No problem.

She had everything perfectly organized for him, plus all kinds of notes and instructions. A stack of diapers and wiping things, a stack of clean onsies and gowns, little blankets, a clean sheet if it was needed, burping cloths. Shit, how could the kid need so much stuff just for one day?

Maggie and Beth's Mama were there at 6:30 a.m. sharp. They had a ways ta drive. He felt himself panic just a little, okay it was a lot, as he watched the car pull away.

"Okay D.J., it's just you and me big guy, k?" And the baby spit up all over Daryl and himself.

Daryl cleaned them both up, and he calmed himself with the idea that the spitting up was out of the way for the day.

He'd been walking the floor for an hour when Merle showed up. He was pretty sure his brother had come by just hoping to see him suffering. And he got his wish.

"Where's the coffee little brother?"

"Shit Merle, I ain't had time ta make coffee, I been takin' care of a baby!" Daryl was a little rattled.

"Well Beth always has the coffee made and the baby taken care of," Merle just grinned that big ol' nasty grin.

"Fuck you Merle, you want coffee, make some and make me some too. I'm fuckin' pooped," Daryl was definitely feeling the pressure, and he still had a long day to go.

"Now Daryl, Beth said she don't want you droppin' no F Bombs around Junior here, am I gonna have to report you to the boss?" Now the dumbass was cackling.

Daryl felt the steam comin' out of his ears. "Just make the damn coffee Merle," Daryl sighed in defeat.

"Sure thing baby brother, I can see ya need a cup," and he was grinnin' again. "How 'bout some breakfast? I can make us some bacon and eggs," Merle was startin' ta feel sorry for the boy.

"Thanks Merle."

And there was peace, at least temporarily.

Merle did know how to cook breakfast and make a pot of coffee. The brothers had their meal together while Daryl held D.J. on his lap, because every time Daryl tried to put the little guy down he started to howl like he was being stabbed by a hot poker. It seemed easier just to hold him.

"I can't believe your pretty little wife cooks you bacon and eggs every day Daryl, I mean considerin' she won't eat bacon. You must be doin' sumthin' right boy, although I can't imagine what that would be," and he chuckled.

Damn, Merle was half nice to him for a minute there.

About 15 minutes later, D.J. projectile vomited and Merle just laughed and said, "That right there is my cue ta leave. Good luck baby brother."

"F U Merle," was all he could say. It just didn't provide the satisfaction of a real fuck you.

Beth's phone beeped, the message was from Merle, "Okay little sister, I got him coffee and fed him. He's still alive but he looks a little stressed LOL, you owe me fried rabbit. Merle"

Beth smiled; at least he'd eaten and had some coffee. She texted Merle back, "Next Saturday, fried rabbit, hush puppies and corn on the cob, be at the cabin NLT 5. Beth"

Daryl got D.J. cleaned up again, and himself cleaned up again and it was time to feed the baby. That seemed weird, I mean why keep feeding a guy who's barfing, but Beth had given him strict instructions and she knew more about this shit than he did. So he fed the baby. He couldn't resist dipping a finger in the milk and having a little taste, not too bad. Beer's better, but whatever, D.J. seemed to like it.

He gave the baby the bottle and then he thought, cool all I gotta do is burp him, no problem. But damn, he didn't seem to wanna burp. Daryl started talking to him, "C'mon big guy, ya gotta burp. Your Mama says yer gonna get a bellyache if ya don't. That hurts, ya don't want that so c'mon make a burp." Well the little guy did burp, and he also spit up all over Daryl and himself – again. Daryl just looked at the baby, shook his head and said, "Ya hate me don't ya?" And the baby smiled.

While he had all the baby's clothes off he thought, well I might as well change his diaper, yep, it seemed wet. He'd just gotten the thing off when D.J. decided to pee, straight up in the air and right in Daryl's face. Oh, that's right, Beth had warned him about that. "You ain't gettin' nuthin' from me for Christmas D.J. That there iced it." And the baby smiled at him again. "Quit tryin' ta soften me up boy. I'm a little perturbed with ya right now." Daryl couldn't help but laugh. What else could the kid possibly do to him? He'd find out.

He cleaned them both up again. Daryl couldn't recall ever having changed his shirt so many times in one day. Well okay, before Beth he'd sometimes wear the same shirt all week. She didn't care for that, so now he changed it every day. Seemed like kind of a waste but if it made her happy so what the hell?

"Now listen here D.J., it says right here on yer Mom's note that yer supposed to wanna take a nap right about now, so let's do that, k?"

But D.J. had other ideas, he wanted Daryl to walk him around the room three hundred and fifty-five thousand times. So Daryl did, cuz he didn't know what the fuck else ta do.

He decided to take a chance, go out on the porch and sit in one of the rocking chairs, maybe the little guy will fall asleep. And he did, and so did Daryl. Even the sound of the car didn't wake him up.

When Hershel pulled in the driveway he had to smile. There sat Daryl sound asleep in the rocking chair with D.J. lying on his chest, also sound asleep. Poor guy must be having a rough time, Hershel smiled to himself. He just went up on the porch and sat in the other rocking chair and waited for one of them to wake up. Well, he did take that photo with his phone, and he did text it to Beth, but other than that, he just sat there and watched them sleep. And smiled, remembering those days.

Beth's phone beeped, there was a photo of Daryl sound asleep in the rocker with D.J. on his chest, it made her tear up. There was a note, "Both are still alive, just waiting for one of them to wake up. You owe me a banana cream pie, Daddy."

Beth texted back, "I'll be over with it Tuesday, thanks Daddy xoxo"

About 40 minutes later D.J. began to stir, Daryl's eyes instantly flew open and his grip on the baby tightened. "Shhhh big guy, Daddy's here." Then he noticed Hershel sitting next to him.

"Hey Hershel, what brings you by," Daryl could be such an innocent.

"Had to go to town, thought I'd stop and say 'Hi' to my son and grandson," Hershel smiled.

"Well nice of you ta come by, me and my man D.J. are just hangin' out. We had a long mornin' and we was a little worn out."

"Hey Hershel, would you mind holdin' the baby so I could go take a piss, sorry, I mean pee, I ain't had a chance ta go all day," Daryl asked.

"Sure son, you go, me and D.J. will be just fine," Hershel had to admire his son in law, he knew the man had never been around babies and kids, yet he seemed to be doing just fine, maybe a little sleepy but that was to be expected.

Hershel stayed about another 30 minutes. He always had a lot of questions for Daryl. He was fascinated by the work his son in law did. Daryl suggested that Hershel come by the factory about 3:00 Wednesday afternoon and he'd take him on a little tour. That got Hershel all wound up, "That would be great, thanks son!"

"Sure Hershel, thanks for visiting."

Hershel gave D.J. a little kiss, shook Daryl's hand and walked to his car thinking, Banana Cream Pie AND a factory tour. Checking in on Daryl was the best little job he ever had.

After Hershel left he thought it best to take the baby back inside for a bit, it was going to be time for him to eat pretty quick and Beth had Daryl scared to death to veer from the schedule.

He'd just walked in the kitchen when all hell broke loose. There was a loud noise that came from the baby, like a volcanic eruption, and suddenly there was baby shit everywhere. It was comin' outta the leg openings on both sides of D.J.s onsie, and Daryl could feel the squishy mess climbing up D.J.s back. The smell was downright rancid. "Why do ya hate me boy? I been nice to ya all day."

Daryl stood there for a minute not sure what to do. There was baby shit all over D.J., and there was baby shit all over him. How can someone who doesn't even eat solid food shit so much?

He decided his best bet was to head in the bathroom. With his free hand he grabbed a bath towel and spread it on the floor, he lay the baby down and carefully started removing the clothes and diaper, but really? It didn't matter how careful he was, this was a mess of epic proportions.

"Ya know kid, in a way I'm kinda proud of ya. This is more shit than I woulda ever thought a little guy like you could produce. I got half a mind ta take ya out in the yard and just hose ya down, but if yer Mom ever found out I done that she'd kill my ass. That's the only thing savin' ya son." And the baby was just smiling and cooing.

Daryl used the whole towel to wipe the baby down, he figured he would take that out in the yard and spray it down. He set the baby's little tub in the bathtub and got it filled with warm water, and he gave him a bath. It was a first for Daryl, and he was a little nervous, D.J. was mighty slippery. But it got the job done. He used Beth's nice clean towel to dry the baby off. Then he took him in his room and put a fresh diaper and clean onsie on him, plus a little gown cuz he didn't want him to be cold after his bath. Then he went in his room and changed his own shirt.

He was just fixin' D.J.'s bottle when a car pulled up. It was Amy. She looked through the screen door and said, "Knock, knock."

Daryl called over his shoulder, "Yeah, hey Amy, c'mon in, I'm just getting' ready ta feed D.J."

"Isn't Beth home?" She asked.

"Nah she's gone to Atlanta shopping with her Ma and Sis. She won't be back 'til probably 6 or 7."

"Oh darn, well can I at least feed the baby?" She asked.

"Yeah sure I guess, um I got a little mess I guess I'll ta take care of," he tried to smile.

"Oh yeah, go ahead, we'll let you know if there's trouble," she smiled.

Daryl did the best he could cleaning up the mess. After he washed off the towel outside he put all the towels and all the baby clothes in the washer and fired it up. He was startin' to worry D.J. wouldn't have enough clean clothes to last him the rest of the day.

He washed his hands and went back in the living room. "I better take the baby now, I gotta make sure he finishes his bottle and burps, but thanks for helping," Daryl was feeling like he didn't want anyone else holdin' his baby.

"Oh, okay, well tell Beth I stopped by," Amy smiled.

"Yeah, sure thing, thanks for stoppin'," and he gave her a small smile.

Shortly after Beth got a text, "Your house smells like pee, poop and barf but the baby was sparkling clean and smelled great. Daryl looked rested and he didn't seem to want to share the baby. He's stingy. You owe me egg salad."

Beth smiled and texted back, "Thanks Amy, come by Wednesday for lunch."

When Beth got home from the big city Daryl was sitting in his big overstuffed chair, D.J. was tucked in the crook of his arm and they were watching a hunting show on T.V. "Hey Baby, did ya have a nice time?" he gave her a big smile.

"I did, thank you so much for tending D.J. all day. I know it was a long one," she smiled, but she was a little hurt the Baby didn't seem to want her to take him.

"Nah, it was mostly good, me and the big guy, we did just fine. Anytime you wanna go somewhere I'm happy ta take care of him. And I'ma start helping ya with him more around here too," Daryl said very matter-of-fact.

The next day Daryl said he had to run to town and pick up a couple of things.

While he was gone Beth started preparing a special Sunday dinner for him, all of his favorites, chicken fried venison steak, mashed potatoes with country gravy, cream corn and homemade biscuits. She figured it was the least he deserved, she could tell by the amount of laundry he'd done it had been a messy day.

When Daryl got home he had a bouquet of fresh flowers and a box of her favorite candy. He figured it was the least she deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I looks like Daryl and D.J. developed a pretty tight bond during their day together. Thanks for reading, please review and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love of this version of Daryl, to me he's pretty much the perfect man :-)

Sometimes he swore she was just goin' out of her way to be mean to him. For hell sake, D.J. was his son too and he just wanted to take him out huntin' for the day, but she said six months was too young. As far as Daryl was concerned,a guy's never too young ta go huntin'. I mean shit, he wasn't gonna take him bear huntin', maybe just out for some squirrel and rabbit.

She said she would consider letting him take D.J. fishing if all the proper precautions were followed. Damn, rules for goin' fishin'? He just knew she hated him.

She said there had to be plenty of sunblock, a hat, no wading out in the water with the baby, no casting. No settin' the baby down while he was reeling one in. Crap, why the hell didn't she just say "no" in the first place?

So he settled for putting D.J. in that Baby Bjorn thing-a-ma-jig thing she had that strapped him to his chest, with a ton of sunscreen on the poor guy and of course, his hat, and took him for a walk in the woods.

He was talkin' to him while he walked, "You just wait D.J., you and me are gonna do plenty a huntin' tagether. I'ma teach ya how ta shoot a crossbow, a pistol, a shotgun and a rifle, dress out an animal, set a snare, all that. But yer Mama says we gotta wait 'til ya get bigger so 'til ya grow up a little I'ma just teach ya how to track."

Ah, he knew he was kiddin', but it was fun to be out here in the woods with his boy and he could hardly wait 'til the little guy really was big enough ta do all that stuff.

In the meantime he just pointed things out to D.J., and D.J. musta liked it cuz he just kept giggling.

And he did caution the boy, "We're havin' fun out here now son, just a talkin' and laughin' and you're gigglin', but when we come out here huntin' for reals we gotta be real quiet, k? We don't wanna be scarin' off the game."

When they got back to the cabin his Beth was sittin' in one a the rockers on the porch, Merle was sittin' on the top step a the porch, but Holy Mother of God, that woman who'd caused so much grief to befall Daryl was sitting in the rockin' chair right next to his Beth. Why the fuck had Merle brought Cindy here, and why was everyone smilin'?

When Merle saw Daryl and D.J. coming up the path he shouted, "D.J. bag us any game taday?" Then he cackled like he thought he was real damn funny.

So Daryl went along, "Yeah, he shot a six point buck but he didn't feel like it was quite big enough so we left it for the scavengers."

"Daryl" she was practically jumpin' outta her chair, "Merle has some exciting news to share…"

Before she could go on, or Daryl could even ask what, Merle was saying, "Whoa now little sister we gotta ease into this for just a minute here. Little Brother, you remember Cindy dontcha?"

Daryl was thinkin' well fuck, did the dumbass get married, but he said, "Yeah, hi Cindy, how ya been?"

"Just fine you sweet little thing," and fuck if she didn't jump up, dash over and give him one her big ol' hugs, like they were best pals. And the real shits a the deal was, there was his Beth just watchin' and givin' one of her great big beautiful smiles like she lived to see other women hug her man.

So, now Daryl was curious, "Spill it Merle, what's goin' on?"

And Merle just gave him that big ol' shit eatin' Merle grin and said, "Me and Cindy here, we been keepin' company for a while now and Cindy has give us all a very nice invitation."

And Beth couldn't control herself, she had to blurt it out, "Cindy invited us to stay at her family's beach cottage down in Panama City. Isn't that the most exciting thing ever?!"

Well fuck no, in fact it may be the least excitin' thing ever, but then he was kinda happy she did that thing to Merle that she usually just did to him, you know what I mean, when she blurts everything out right when yer tryin' ta tell yer story? And Daryl just smiled to himself, ha, at least I'm not the only one she pulls that shit on.

And then Cindy got a goin', "Beth said you have all kinds of vacation time saved up and we all just thought it would be so much fun if you took one of those weeks and we went down to the cottage, a week of laying around on the beach, soaking up the rays, playing in the water, we can go to Shipwreck Island, play Goofy Golf, cook out, drink too much, all the good stuff. I just can't wait!"

And Daryl was 100% sure she squealed cuz it sounded kinda like a baby pig.

And like he always did, Daryl blamed it on Beth. He'd do any fuckin' thing that woman wanted and she knew it. Maybe she'd cast some kinda spell on him, or maybe it was just cuz he loved her, he loved her more than anythin' and for all his talk otherwise, he knew she loved him the same. He always went along with whatever half-baked scheme she came up with. And the real kicker was, she thought he was happy about all the stuff he agreed to and went along with, and he guessed that's cuz he wanted her ta think he was.

So he said, "Sounds great. I'll talk ta the boss in the mornin'. I should be able ta get next week off, we ain't too busy right now cuz we're waitin' on a big order that's gonna start in three weeks. Will next week do?"

And fuck a duck if everyone wasn't gettin' all excited and makin' big plans. Daryl was just thinkin' it's only a week, I can do this.

Later when they were alone he asked her, "So Baby, yer serious about this little trip, ya sure ya wanna go? Cuz ya know, I thought you was pretty upset before about Cindy and well, ya know, what all."

And she just smiled that big ol' smile at him and batted those big ol' blue eyes at him and said, "Oh I was never mad at her Daryl, I was mad at you, but I got over that. And yes, I am super excited, a whole week at the beach with you and D.J. it's going to be just the most fun. Make me a list of what you want me to get for food and drinks, I'll do all the shopping Sweetie (she was forbidden to call him 'Sweetie' in front of anyone else, especially Merle, they had a deal), and I'll do all the packing, you just have to drive me and D.J. Oh Daryl I love you even more for taking us."

And they put D.J. to bed.

And then she showed him how excited and happy she was and how much she loved him, and he showed her how much he loved her, and it was fuckin' perfect, and he felt a little better about goin' ta the beach.

They left Friday as soon as he got home from work. It wasn't too bad a drive, a straight shot really, oughta take no more than six hours, even in Friday traffic.

A course, they were following Merle and that dumbass brother a his had ta stop at every convenience store on the way and get himself a coke, or a slim jim, or take a piss, or whatever the hell the dumbass did.

And at every stop Beth and Cindy just had ta talk and giggle, and he couldn't ever remember seein' Beth act so damn giddy.

When they finally got there it was darker n' hell. They unloaded their pick-ups and they had more crap than Daryl thought a family of 12 needed for a year, but he hauled it all in cuz he knew that's what she wanted.

The place had three bedrooms, one had a king size bed, one had a double bed, one had a bunk bed. He set up D.J.'s pack n play in the one with the bunk bed.

They tossed a coin to see who got the room with the bigger bed, Daryl didn't even bother ta look. He knew he and Beth would get the smaller bed but he didn't care, he liked bein' cuddled up right next to her.

By the time he and Beth got ta bed it was hours past their usual bedtime but to his surprise she reached for him and said, "I want you Daryl, I want you now." And just like always, he couldn't tell her "no." Okay so the truth was, that's all she had ta say to him and he got hard, he was a pushover for his Beth, not that he was complainin', and she was kissin' him all over, and he was kissin' her all over, and then her hand was on him, and his fingers were in her, and his mouth was suckin' her titty, and she was suckin' on his neck, and suddenly she was straddling him, and then he was inside a her, and his thumb was on her sweet spot and she was comin' and he was comin', and then she said she loved him, and he said he loved her right back, and damn, life was just so fuckin' good.

Beth was up early and she was cheery as all fuckin' get out. His ass was draggin' and she was actin' like she'd had a good night's sleep. D.J. was in his bumble chair thingy, chewin' on some kinda nasty teething biscuit and laughin' away, and Beth was cookin' bacon, makin' waffles and fryin' eggs.

"Damn Baby, yer s'pose ta be on vacation, why ya doin' all this?" Sometimes she just puzzled him.

She smiled that big happy smile and said, "Cause I love you and I know you love bacon, eggs and waffles." And then damn if she didn't kiss him, a big ol' kiss with a little tongue action and all. If all this serious lovin' kept on he was gonna pack 'em all up and move them to the fuckin' beach.

After everyone had breakfast they all decided it was time ta get down ta the water and enjoy what they came for, beach time. Daryl felt like he'd already enjoyed what he came for, but he wasn't sharing that news. He just went along. He felt like a fuckin' pack mule, he had D.J. in that Baby Bjorn whatever-the-fuck on his chest, two beach chairs strapped on his back, and some kind of a canopy thing she said she bought so her and D.J. didn't get a sunburn.

Beth was packin' the diaper bag with all D.J.'s stuff in one hand, and a bag full of towels, sunscreen and gawd only knew what the fuck else in the other hand.

Merle and Cindy each had hold of the handle of a giant cooler they was carrying between 'em. It was full of every kind of snack and beverage known ta man. Hell, they were only gonna be 300 yards from the cottage.

Shit, he thought all ya needed was a towel ta go to the beach. But whatever.

The fun began when he and that dumbass Merle had ta put this canopy contraption up that she'd bought. It seemed like it oughta be easy enough, but ya know that thing about looks being deceiving, yeah, that. Shit, a jet engine went together easier than this. But they finally got the damn thing up and he nearly admitted out loud that it did provide a nice bit a shade.

They set up their beach chairs and D.J.'s pack n play and then Merle did sumthin' that shocked the shit outta Daryl, he took his shirt off and there was all his scars, right there for everyone ta see, and Cindy didn't even bat an eye, and Beth didn't bat an eye. Well, she probably figured Merle had as many or more scars than him. And there was Daryl in his t-shirt, and he looked hard at Merle, and Merle just looked at him and it was like they were talkin' without sayin' anything and it was like Merle was telling him it was okay, no big deal, and Merle nodded his head, and Daryl pulled his t-shirt off.

Oh he was uncomfortable with it at first but then Beth leaned over and rubbed her hand on his chest and gave him a little kiss and he was like, ah well fuck it, here it is world.

But he also got ta thinkin', his dumbass brother must have a lot a big feelings for Cindy ta just let her see the scars, both the brothers were a little skittish about showing off their past victimization.

Beth got the Bob Marley goin' on The Little Bose and Merle was snoring in his chair, and he was pretty sure Cindy was, and his Beth, she was looking like a thousand degrees a hotness in that white two-piece suit. Oh it was a modest cut, cuz that was his Beth, she saved the full-on view just for him, but she was still white hot. And D.J. was suckin' on a bottle and happy as a clam in his pack n play, and Daryl had a beer sittin' next to him, and he accidentally got ta thinkin' life was pretty fuckin' great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, please leave a comment and remember, I love ya Large! gneebee xo


	7. Chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone! Here's a little slice of life with Daryl and Beth. You may have had an experience similar to this...

His Beth was all manner of excited. She told him her Mama was keeping D.J. and her and that crazy ass sister a hers were gonna have a spa day. All he knew about that shit was, she was damn happy and when she was damn happy he was damn happy. I mean, his woman woke up wantin' "it" first thing in the mornin', a man can't complain about that.

He was off ta build a jet engine, D.J. was off ta gramma's, and Beth was off ta the spa with Maggie. There was happiness all around their neck o' the woods.

He came home from work like always, D.J. was playin' on the floor with some kinda squeaky toys and his Beth was in the kitchen puttin' the finishin' touches on sumthin' that smelled damn delicious. Thing was though, it looked like all she had on was one a his t-shirts which was half drownin' her, well that and her bunny slippers.

So what's a man ta do? He come up behind her and give her butt cheek a little squeeze and kissed her on the back o' the neck. "Hey Baby, I missed yer sweet ass taday," he nearly smiled.

She smiled right back at him and said, "I missed you too Mister Dixon."

"Did y'all have a good time?" he asked as he grabbed a beer and snuck a bite a the chicken.

"Oh it was really nice Daryl, I got a facial and an eyebrow waxing, I got a mani, a pedi and got my hair trimmed just a little," She seemed mostly happy about all that.

"I kinda don't wanna know, but what the hell's an eyebrow waxin'?" The shit women did ta themselves never stopped confusing him and when she explained it to him he said, "That's the dumbest damn thing I ever heard of, why would someone let someone else put hot wax on 'em? Sounds like some kinda medieval torture ta me. Hell Baby, I thought your eyebrows was just fine like they were."

And she just smiled cuz dammit, he was right.

He was in bed waitin' for her while she brushed her teeth and whatever else her nightly routine involved. The bathroom door was open just a little and he saw her take her panties off. Well damn, that was a sign for sure, she must want a little more lovin' tanight. He wasn't gonna begrudge her her fun.

Soon as she turned the light out and crawled inta bed next to him he made a playful grab for her nether regions. She screeched and he jumped, cuz shit, what he grabbed sure as hell didn't feel like it was s'posed to. He leaped up outta the bed like it was on fire, ran over and flipped on the light switch while yelling, "What the fuck Beth, do ya got sumthin' wrong with you, what the fuck happened?"

And she had tears in her eyes but she started ta laugh. And he was completely mystified now, and then she said, "I had a Brazilian."

And he didn't know what the fuck that even meant, "Okay Baby, I know this can't be good so just go on and tell me, what the fuck's that?"

And she told him. And she didn't think she'd ever seen his face contort like that.

Finally he took a deep breath and said, "Damn Baby, why the hell would ya even think ta let someone do sumthin' like that to ya?"

And she shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know, but Maggie said everyone does it."

Well there it is, "I shoulda known that crazy ass sister a yours had sumthin' ta do with this. Why the fuck do ya listen ta her and her crazy ass ideas? Ya know what I can't believe is her and Merle never hooked up, her crazy ass and his dumb ass would be just perfect tagether, probably be a sign a the damn apocalypse."

And Beth couldn't help it; she had to laugh because that would be quite the pair.

Then she got kinda serious, "I thought you'd like it, at the spa they said men prefer it."

And he just looked at her like she had lost her fucking mind and asked, "Ya ever hear me complain about it just the way it was? I thought it was perfect, I thought I proved to ya I thought it was perfect a few hundred times. 'Sides Beth, for chrissake yer a grown woman, yer s'posed ta be all haired over."

And he turned the light off and crawled back into bed and said, "Dammit Baby, don't do that shit no more, K?"

And she said, "I'm so happy you don't like it Daryl because I never, ever want to do that again. It hurt so bad and it was just so darn embarrassing. Oh my gosh, it was all just awful, and it still hurts."

"Well fuck, why wouldn't it hurt? Putting hot wax on that, it's every kind of wrong."

And then she slid down under the covers and did a little sumthin' for him she knew would help him get a good night's sleep. Damn, she was a thoughtful wife his Beth.

"I love ya Baby, love ya large."

And she said, "I love you Daryl, you're my heart."

Two days later he and Merle met for a quick beer after work. He didn't know why he asked Merle 'bout anythin', Merle's a dumb ass, but dammit he talked ta him 'bout everythin' anyway. I mean fuck, Merle's his brother and all, "Hey Merle, ya ever heard of a Brazilian Wax?"

And Merle looked kinda horrified and he said, "Damn, Cindy did that a few weeks ago. I don't know what the fuck she was thinkin'. I told her don't ever do that shit again. If ol' Merle wants ta have sex with someone who's bald, I'll just beat off." And then he cackled like Merle does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, there it is. Thanks so much for reading, please leave a comment and remember, I love ya large! xo


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much! I'm happy you're enjoying our crazy little Dixon world. I kind of like it here too :)

Okay, he knew the universe was out ta get him. It's not like he didn't know how ta go ta the market, hell he'd gone for years before he met his Beth, but every time he'd gone there with one a her lists he fucked up, guaranteed.

But she asked him so sweet and told him how much it meant ta her. D.J. was runnin' a little fever and Beth didn't wanna leave him. Daryl offered ta stay with the little guy but Beth was all up in a panic, so he caved and said he'd go. Fuck.

He looked the list over, everythin' seemed plain as day, no problem. That right there scared the shit outta him. Why? Cuz he'd thought that every time he ever went ta the store for her, and every time he got _sumthin'_ entirely fucked up.

But he was nuthin' if not brave so he took the list an he went ta the fuckin' store and he prayed ta God Almighty hisself for the best. He was determined this time, he was gonna get it right, wasn't takin' no chances, he was checkin' things off as he set 'em in the cart and he wasn't buyin' no off brands, or the goat cheese with the whatever-the-fuck that herb crap was in it, cuz he knew now she didn't like it when he did that shit.

Course, if he was goin' he was also gonna buy some a his favorite items, I mean shit, why not? A man can't survive just eatin' healthy, ya had ta have some good food too. Can I get a hell yeah?!

For her part, Beth had done everything she could to make the list as simple and clear as possible. She wrote everything down using her very best penmanship. On the things where it really mattered to her, she wrote down the brand name. She knew he'd probably mess up on one or two of the items, and he'd undoubtedly buy lots of things that weren't even on the list, but she was okay with all that, she knew he'd do his best, and they could surely get by without whatever he might not find. Plus she knew she could count on him to eat all of the extra things he would purchase. She never could understand how Daryl managed to digest half that awful stuff he ate.

Daryl was studyin' the list and lookin' at the item on the shelf when he heard that unmistakable cackle, "Well Baby Brother, fancy meetin' ya here. Beth got ya doin' her shoppin'?"

"Fuck you Merle, what're you doin' here? Cindy got ya doin' her shoppin'?" Daryl was in no mood for his brother's shit.

Merle just gave him a big ol' dumbass Merle grin and said, "As a matter a fact, she did ask me ta come on over here and pick us up a couple a steaks and a case a beer for dinner. Cindy knows better'n ta ask ol' Merle ta buy all that health food shit."

"Yeah I'm sure a that Merle," Daryl snarled, "She knows yer too fuckin' dumb ta find yer ass with both hands, much less do the grocery shoppin'." But damn that Merle, how come he always got off so fuckin' easy?

"Now Baby Brother is that any way ta talk ta yer brother? Yer gonna hurt my delicate feelins, make me start ta cry and shit," Merle smiled, but then got serious, "Now listen, I heard my nephew ain't feelin' right so if ya'll need anythin' ya call me. I'll do whatever I can ta help, ya hear?"

"Yeah Merle, thanks brother. I think it's just a little cold and fever, but ya know Beth, she's all manner a shook-up over that little runny nose. Ever since I calmed down about that shit she fired up on it," And then he had ta smile, cuz damn, it was true, they was havin' one a them role reversals.

And he told Merle, "'Fore y'all get too drunk ta drive, stop on by an see us for a beer, it might calm Beth down," Daryl actually smiled again.

"Sounds good, I'll talk ta the ball n chain when I get home. See ya Baby Brother," Merle slapped him on the back and off the big dumbass went.

He got home and carried in all the sacks a groceries and there were a lot. She said she'd put the food away if he wanted to hold D.J., which he sure as hell did.

Plus he was as nervous, he thought he got everythin' right, but fuck, that never happened.

Sometimes when she saw the treats he bought for himself she worried about him, it couldn't possibly be good for him. There were the Flaming Hot Pork Cracklin's, and the Tapitio Doritos, The bag of Extra Crunchy Cheetos, and of course the three kinds of salsa and the 2lb bag of restaurant style tortilla chips. And the case of beer. And of course, there was the meat, the two racks of Baby Back Ribs, the Tri-Tip Roast, the breakfast sausage, the bacon and the brats, and the topper, the pig's feet. Dear Lord.

But she wasn't going to say anything about it; he didn't tease her about her Kale Salads and Hummus, even though she knew he thought they were disgusting.

It seemed ta take her a long time ta unpack them groceries, and he heard her in there tryin' ta stifle a laugh a couple times. Fuck. He didn't even wanna know what he screwed up this time, but when she came in the room, sat down by him, and said, "Thanks for doing the shopping Daryl, I really appreciate your help and letting me stay with D.J.," he couldn't hold it in.

"Just tell me Baby, what did I screw up this time?" And he braced himself.

"Daryl you did great, really great, and I can make everything work so please don't get upset, it's nothing wrong, I promise. But, you know on the list it said 'Flour Tortillas'? I was going to try a new recipe for dinner, it calls for tortillas made from flour. Anyway, I was a little confused when I saw the 10 lb. bag of flour and the package of corn tortillas, but it's okay, I'm sure the recipe will be just fine with corn tortillas and I can use the flour to make some loaves of French bread and share with Mama, Maggie, and Merle and Cindy," she just gave him that sweet little smile, but fuck.

"Damn, I thought it meant ya wanted some flour and some tortillas. I can go on back ta the store and get ya what ya need. I don't wanna screw up yer recipe," he was scratchin' his head.

"Oh no, it's fine Daryl, but there was something else I wondered about. You bought a 2 lb. bag of Cheetos, and a gigantic clear plastic jar full of cheese ball things that seem like they would be the same thing as Cheetos, are you having some sort of weird Cheetos craving?" She smiled more broadly this time, just to try and prove she wasn't mad.

"Look Beth, look at yer list, it's right here in my pocket," He pulled it out and pointed to the item on her list, "Right there Beth, it says 'Puffs'." He had a big ol' 'I'm right' smile on his face now.

"Oh, I wondered why you didn't get the Puffs. I meant the facial tissue Puffs, I thought they'd be softer on D.J.'s skin, but don't worry, we have Kleenex," she tried to give him a reassuring smile.

And before he could catch himself he said it out loud, "Well fuck."

That's when they heard Merle's bike pull up in the yard.

Daryl said, "Hey Cindy, hey Merle let's all sit outside and have a beer, I'll set-up D.J.'s pack n play, the fresh warm air'll dry him right up."

To his surprise, Beth agreed.

After he set it up and Beth handed everyone a beer, and D.J. a bottle with apple juice, Daryl went in and got the two foot tall jar of puffs, handed it to his dumbass brother and said, "Here, let's have us a little snack with our beer," cuz he knows Merle'd eat anythin'.

Then to his surprise, Beth went in and came out with a bowl of the tortilla chips and a bowl a salsa. Everyone, except D.J., was eatin' snacks and drinkin' beers. Daryl suggested, "I got a Tri-Tip at the store and some brats, how 'bout I cook us up some?"

Everyone, even his Beth, said that sounded mighty fine, so that's what he did. And damn if Beth didn't eat a brat, he never thought he'd see the day.

Then Merle caused him ta nearly drop dead from heart failure cuz he said, "Me n Cindy, we have us an announcement. I ask her ta marry me and she done said she would so we're gonna do that next Friday afternoon at the courthouse, we want you two ta stand up for us, ain't askin' no one else ta the ceremony."

And fuck a duck his Beth got up and was jumpin' up n down and squealin' and she ran ta Cindy and said, "Oh my gosh I'm so happy and so excited, this is just the best news!"

And then she did sumthin' he never did think he'd ever see, she went right on over ta that dumbass Merle and gave him a kiss right on the FUCKIN' LIPS, and said, "Congratulations Merle, I'm so happy for you."

All Daryl asked Merle was, "Ya ain't got Cindy in the family way do ya?"

And the big dumbass said, "Nah, I ain't like you Baby Brother, I make little Merle wear a raincoat."

Well I don't think I gotta explain to ya that all this excitement called for continued drinkin'. Ah his Beth cooled it a little, cuz someone had ta be responsible enough ta take care a D.J., but as for everyone else, well damn, that big bottle a Jack came outta the cabinet and they commenced ta celebratin' big time!

A course, Merle and Cindy ended up stayin' the on the fold out sofa. The next mornin' Daryl got up and fixed everyone coffee, sausage and eggs and fried potatoes. Shit, his Beth surprised him again when she actually ate a sausage link.

He poured a little shot a sumthin' extra in his, Merle's and Cindy's coffee, just a little hair a the dog. Beth didn't need ta know.

Daryl did shake his brother's hand and congratulate him and to his own surprise he even gave Cindy a little hug and told her best wishes.

After they left and Beth and Daryl were done cleanin' up the house Beth said to him, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe all the foods I ate this weekend. It's terrible. I ate that brat, and that breakfast sausage, and golly, those puffs and chips and salsa. Now I have to get myself back on track. I have to detox all that bad stuff, I have to be ready for the wedding Friday. I'm going to do a three day juice cleanse starting first thing in the morning."

Daryl was afraid, but dammit, he had to know, so he gathered up his courage and he asked, "What the hell is a juice cleanse?"

"Oh, well, I'm not going to eat any food at all for three days, I'll just be drinking juices. That will get my body to detox all the terrible things I've put in it this weekend and I can get my weight right, I've probably gained five pounds," she was shakin' her head like she was disgusted.

"I love ya Baby, ya know I do, but that is the dumbest fuckin' thing I ever heard. First off, God gave ya them teeth ta chew yer food. Ya gotta have food, and second of all, you're thin as a rail, ain't no way ya gained any weight, it was probably good for ya ta eat real food for a change. I don't know where ya come up with these off the wall ideas a yours," he was shakin' his head in wonder, but it all became crystal clear when she said…

"Well Maggie says it's just the greatest thing, she and Glenn did it and she said it was awesome," She was smilin' that pretty smile he loved.

"I shoulda known it was yer crazy ass sister, damn her, she's always fillin' yer head with some kinda ridiculous notion, and that Glenn, he's so damn afraid of her he'll agree ta anythin'!" He was just gettin' pissy now.

She smiled at him and said, "Daryl I don't expect you to do this, it's just going to be me. I'll still cook for you, I know you need your energy. I'll be just fine, it's only three days and it's over. And I'm going to feel so much better."

He was till kinda shook up that night when they went ta bed but then she made a grab for him, and ya know, he's powerless over her desires, so he started kissin' her all over like she likes, and she started kissin' and rubbin and doin' a little suckin' here and there on him, like he likes. Then his mouth was on her sweet spot and she was comin' for him, then he was in her and they was both comin' and he was tellin' her "I fuckin' love every fuckin' thing about ya Baby," and she was tellin' him, "I love you so much Daryl, you're the best." So even though he was unhappy about this dumb fuckin' juice thing, he still got a good night's sleep.

In the mornin' she served him up a plate a eggs, bacon and cheesy grits, and she drank the most disgustin' lookin' green drink ya ever saw.

That night at dinner she fixed him a hamburger steak with mashed potatoes, peas and mushroom gravy. Her dinner was some kinda thick white drink. He didn't ask, and thank God almighty she didn't tell.

The next mornin' he was havin' pancakes and bacon, she was have some kinda purple lookin' drink.

He left for work and he realized he'd left one his drill bit he liked for work in the shed, cuz he'd been fixin' somethin' out there. He went back in the house ta tell her and D.J. g'bye again, and damn if she wasn't eatin' a pancake and a egg.

She hadn't heard him and he didn't say nuthin', he just slipped back out the door. He was happy ta see her eatin'. Damn he loved his Beth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. If you've ever sent a husband to the store, and yes I have, you know things are going to get interesting. Thank you so much for reading, please leave a comment. I love ya large! xo gneebee


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> The silliness ensues. Here we go, another Dixon wedding - things could get crazy :-)

He knew Beth and Cindy had cooked up some kinda plan for the weddin', and more important, they'd been cookin' up a plan for a celebration after the weddin'.

And just to add to his worries, she and Cindy had gone shoppin' tagether ta pick out "weddin' dresses."

I mean, shit, he thought Cindy was a great gal and all, but he damn sure didn't want his Beth dressin' like Cindy.

Ya know, I mean, Merle he loved it when his woman looked kinda trashy. Daryl didn't want his Beth lookin' trashy, no sir.

He and Merle met for a quick beer after work Wednesday. "It seems the women got Friday all figured out for us little brother, all we gotta do is show up in whatever the fuck they tell us we're wearin' and then just do whatever the fuck they tell us ta do. Everythin' will be fuckin' fabulous," and he laughed as he took a big swig of beer.

"Yeah, way I look at it Merle, any day Beth ain't either pissed off at me, disappointed in me, or both is a damn good day."

Merle cackled over that one and nodded in agreement, "Yep baby brother, yer pretty little blonde's been keepin' yer balls in a jar a long time. My turn comin' up, I'm just gonna hand Cindy my balls when we walk in the courthouse," and the big dumbass laughed and took another swallow from the brown bottle.

"So I gotta ask ya a question brother," Daryl suddenly looked serious, "Ya always have avoided gettin' in any kinda relationship with a woman, just had a little toss with 'em and you were on yer way. What changed?"

"Well little brother Cindy, she's a different kinda gal. She gets me, understands my dumbass ways, and I get her, I understand her dumbass ways. We love each other faults and all, hell we might love each other cuz a our faults. All I know is I like my life better when I'm with her and she says she feels the same 'bout me. So, only stands ta reason we marry up," and he shrugged his shoulders, slapped Daryl on the back, and took another swallow of that beer.

Daryl only worked a half day Friday. He got home, showered up and put on the clothes his Beth laid out there for him. It was pretty obvious ta him she liked them black jeans, that white shirt, them black motorcycle boots and his black leather cut with the Angel wings cuz ya know, she had him wear that every time they went out, she said he looked sexy. That was okay with him.

When he saw her his heart stopped for just a second. She had on a pretty pink dress. His Beth, she knew he loved her in pink. The dress was fitted mighty tight up top and at the tiny waist, no sleeves. The skirt was full, but man it was short. He was pretty sure if she bent over all would be revealed.

She had on some sparkly little boots that only came just up over her ankles. He was almost overcome with the urge ta take his palm and run it from the top a that little boot, real slow, right up the inside a her leg. From there he'd move it on over just a bit to where he knew happiness could be found.

But damn, D.J. was runnin' around the place like a wild man.

He'd been told they were takin' D.J. over ta her Mama's place for the night. From there they'd meet Merle and Cindy at the courthouse.

After the ceremony they were all goin' to the steakhouse where Daryl was gonna feel honored ta buy everyone drinks and dinner. Pffft

It was at this point in the evenin' that things could easily go sideways cuz after dinner they'd all be goin' ta the Hard Times Bar. Now don't take this wrong, it's a great joint. They know how ta make a good drink and the drinks are cheap. There's good music, a couple pool tables and a nice crowd of workin' class good ol' boys and girls who like ta have fun.

Problem is, every time the four a them went ta the Hard Times Bar sumthin' come down that couldn't be easily forgotten. Why just this last time they was there drinkin' tagether, havin' a real great time, they all ended up with sumthin' they'd have forever.

Yep, that's right, they all got a tattoo. Not that Daryl regretted his. No sir he did not. He'd gotten Beth's name tattooed above his left boob, kinda big and fancy. Nuthin' wrong with that.

Now his Beth, she'd gotten his name tattooed on her left breast, small, just above that skin around her nipple, ya know, the areola, with a little heart next to it. He couldn't lie, it made him hot every damn time he saw it.

Now his dumbass brother and Cindy, they'd gotten each other's name tattooed on their butt cheeks, then dropped their britches and showed him. He might never recover from that.

But he wasn't gonna put a damper on the party by bringin' any a that up. Fuck no, he was ready ta party with the prettiest woman in the south, hell, prettiest woman on the planet!

And they all had rooms booked at the nicest hotel in town. They'd be cabbin' it here and there, then stayin' in the lap a luxury. He was just sure that would get his Beth in a frisky mood.

Yep, gonna be a good night for all.

They got ta the courthouse and Merle was all slicked up. He had on a western style sport coat, a white shirt, brown slacks and his brown snakeskin cowboy boots.

Now Cindy, Cindy she had really turned it out. She had on a white skirt that was so fuckin' tight Daryl was sure it was spray painted on. It just barely covered her ass. She had on an equally tight white top that was all kinds of low cut. It appeared her titties was trying ta make a break for it right outta that "V," and it was covered with big ol' fake jewels. Them heels were so high he didn't know how the hell she could walk in 'em at all. Gonna be interestin' ta see how that worked out after a few drinks.

Yep, Merle and Cindy was a match made in Heaven for sure.

Anyway, Merle seemed happy as a pig in shit and so did Cindy. What the fuck else mattered?

The ceremony was short but that didn't mean Cindy and Beth didn't have plenty of time ta get all emotional and boohoo a little. He just put his arm around his Beth and agreed with her when she said how special it all was. In spite of what ya might think, Daryl Dixon ain't a complete idiot.

They got over ta the steakhouse and everyone ordered up a cocktail, then another one with appetizers, cuz why not? It's a fuckin' party, right? Then his Beth decided they oughta get a bottle a champagne. That sounded like a damn fine idea.

Hell, one was so good they had two.

After they'd finished up the cocktails, the appetizers, the champagne, dinner, the dessert - a little wedding cake Beth special ordered ahead a time cuz she was a thoughtful gal his Beth - and the after dinner cocktails, it was time ta get a cab and get on over ta the Hard Times Bar.

It all started out on a happy note. They had a couple rounds a drinks, they was all huggin' and kissin' a bit, Daryl kicked Merle's ass in a game a pool. Beth beat the bartender in a game a liar's poker and Cindy seemed ta be holdin' her own in them heels.

Then he spotted his buddy Caesar from work. He was standin' just right over there near the juke box. He told his Beth he was gonna say a quick 'hello' and he'd be right back. She just gave him a big ol' mellow "happy drunk" smile. He loved that shit right there.

He'd only been talkin' ta Caesar for about three minutes when he felt a hand grab his ass real firm like, not a butt cheek either, more like right there in the middle and all. And it wasn't like a little friendly squeeze, this squeeze meant business.

Right when he turned around expectin' ta see his Beth just a laughin' at her silliness. What he saw was some big redhead, and then holy fuck almighty, there was his Beth. It seemed like she was a flyin' through the air and then she landed smack dab on the red head's back.

Fuck a mutherfuckin' duck the fight was on.

That redhead had a good 50 pounds on Beth and Daryl was thinkin' even though it ain't proper barroom etiquette for a man ta jump in the center of a cat fight, he might have ta break the rules and rescue his Beth. Just as he was about to make his move Cindy jumped in with fists a flyin'. Then Caesar's woman Karen got in on the action. Then the bartender's gal Rosita threw in.

They was rollin' around on the floor and his beautiful, sweet little pure-mouthed Beth yelled at that redhead, "You keep your filthy fuckin' hands off my husband you fuckin' whore!" Damn Baby.

Pretty soon a couple other gals jumped in the fray and the thing was, there was so much rollin' around, slappin', scatchin', hair pullin', name callin' and frankly? Panties and all manner a other parts were exposed, Daryl couldn't tell who was whoopin' who. He just knew his Beth was out ta kill the redhead. He also knew Cindy punched anyone that touched his Beth. He was likin' Cindy more n more.

And Merle was beside him and he slapped Daryl on the back and said, "A man couldn't ask for a better weddin' party than this shit right here!" And he was a laughin', then he yelled at Cindy, "Ya kick ass Mrs. Dixon, toughest fuckin' broad in the whole damn bar." Merle's a dumbass, but Cindy took a break long enough ta smile at him.

'Bout that time the Star Spangled Banner started ta play so loud it'd practically bust yer eardrums. The universal barroom method a gettin' the fight ta stop, cuz ya know, it's the National Anthem and all. Everybody's got ta stand and face that flag, right?

He went right to his Beth, helped her up and hugged her close ta his side while they stood lookin' at that flag by the bar, hands over their hearts.

When it ended, he wrapped her tight in his arms, "Ya okay Baby? Ya okay? Love ya so much Baby."

And she looked up at him and fuck, he wanted ta kick the redhead's ass hisself. His Beth's nose was bleedin', her lip was split, her eye was puffy and already startin' ta turn dark and she had scratches all over the damn place.

She just said, "No one gets to touch you like that but me Daryl Dixon, and don't you ever forget it."

And he said back, "I don't never want no one touchin' me like that but you Beth Dixon, never."

His eyes searched out Merle, and there he was. He had Cindy in a similar embrace. The Brothers nodded heads toward one another and Daryl headed over ta the bartender, Abe. Abe had his woman Rosita behind the bar and he was a huggin' on her. Daryl paid the tab and added a real fat tip. He wanted Abe ta be happy ta see them next time they showed up at the Hard Times Bar.

Daryl knew she was hurtin', he just thought "fuck it" scooped her up in his arms and carried her outside.

Merle hailed a cab and they all rode over ta that luxury hotel in virtual silence.

When they got in their room Daryl helped her get outta her clothes and helped her clean herself up. He cleaned up her cuts and the whole time he was tellin' her over and over how much he loved her and how sorry he was she got hurt. He helped her into her nightie and he kept thinkin' he'd like ta kill that fuckin' redheaded bitch his own self.

She was cryin' and he knew she hurt all over, he'd been in a bar fight or two his own self. But she surprised him when she said she wanted him ta make love ta her. Well damn, he wasn't gonna say "no" for chrissake, the woman just fought a gawd dang death-match for him.

But he took it slow and he was careful and he kept askin' her if she was okay. She came and he followed close behind.

Then she started cryin' a little harder, said her eye was hurtin' bad. Daryl said he'd go get a bucket a ice and make her an ice pack. He was hopin' that might help.

On his way down the hall ta the ice machine he thought maybe he'd just call her Mama in the mornin', tell her Beth wasn't feelin' good and see if D.J. could spend one more night. Thank God for Mama.

And there was Merle at the ice machine, fillin' a bucket hisself. "Hows' Beth doin'?" he asked, lookin' way more serious than Merle ever looks.

"She's hurtin' bad, been cryin'. Just gonna get her some ice for that eye," Daryl answered.

"So ya get lucky little brother?" That dumbass Merle.

He didn't answer so a course Merle had ta say, "Yeah, me too, lotsa love goin' around tanight."

"Shut up Merle," Daryl just shook his head side ta side.

Then Merle said it, "Gotta admit baby brother, musta turned ya on pretty good watchin' yer woman fightin' over ya."

And Daryl just gave a small nod and said, "That was hotter than fuck Merle."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that's a wedding reception. Phew! Let's all head down to the Hard Times Bar and have a cold one. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing Love ya Large, xo gneebee


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for visiting the Dixons with me, let's see what they're up to now. Oh these Dixons, it's always something, right?

They'd met up for a beer after work on Wednesdays for fuckin' ever but now here they sat at a bar drinking club sodas with lime, like a couple a douchebags.

It all started after what Daryl had taken to calling the All American Redneck Wedding Soiree and Beth Brawl – well he never said that out loud, he just thought it. Because I told ya before, Daryl Dixon ain't an idiot.

So after the bar brawl Beth, using her own brand of wisdom, decided they should all go on the wagon for a while. And for reasons known only ta her, Cindy had agreed. Fuck, now they'd all been on the wagon for three weeks and if that wasn't bad enough, they were all on some kinda health food kick.

He couldn't believe Cheetos weren't a health food, hell, they had cheese in 'em. Okay, he knew that was bullshit but he'd tried it on her anyway. She didn't buy it either.

Merle was over this shit, "Next time I see Beth I'ma give her hell, dammit. I can't eat that fuckin' Kale, that shit is nasty. All a man needs is a big ol' hunka meat and a tater. Now we gone to a dab a meat and a big pile a green shit on the plate."

"I hear ya brother but ya can't put all the blame on Beth, ya gotta remember her crazy ass sister. Maggie is always gettin' her all fired up about some new bullshit trend," Daryl just shook his head.

"Oh yeah, and that husband a hers, yeah, them Chinamen love them vegetables," Merle just nodded.

"Merle you dumbass, Glenn ain't Chinese. He's Korean," Daryl just stared hard at his brother.

"Well whatever, the point is all them people over in that part a the world they like big piles a vegetables and that ain't food," Merle was nodding his head, agreeing with himself.

"Merle I swear ta the almighty, ya scare me sometimes. Glenn's from Michigan." 

Just imagine Daryl's shock and excitement when he walked through his front door that night and right there in plain sight sat his Beth,and her crazy ass sister. They were drinkin' wine and eatin' ice cream.

D.J. was sittin' in the walker contraption watchin' one a those Baby Einstein videos, which Daryl personally felt a guy ought to be high ta watch, but whatever. D.J. liked 'em and the little fella seemed oblivious ta everythin' else goin' on.

Then he noticed Maggie had tears in her eyes. He did his best to look and sound concerned when he asked, "Hey ladies, everythin' alright?" And then...ah fuck, the flood gates opened and Maggie was bawlin' hard. Beth was tryin' ta comfort her and Daryl was wonderin' if he dared pour hisself a glass a that wine.

Instead, he went in the kitchen and got a beer outta the fridge. He sent Merle a quick text, "We fell off the wagon."

Got one right back, "Heard that, Cindy's on her way with more wine."

Daryl knew he didn't know shit about women, he'd tell ya that straight ta yer face, but he'd been around these women long enough to know that the ice cream, the wine and the tears are a sure sign there's trouble somewhere.

So he texted back, "Get yer ass over here with a case a beer and bring D.J. a chicken nugget happy meal, and get some Cheetos and pork rinds."

"What? I'm yer fuckin' errand boy? On my way little brother." He knew he could count on Merle.

Daryl tried ta stay back in the kitchen, hopin' they wouldn't notice him. He didn't want ta end up bein' collateral damage cuz a whatever the fuck Glenn musta done ta get Maggie all riled up.

Cindy come walkin' right in the house with one a those wine carriers that had three bottles a wine in it. Fuck, were they each gonna drink their own bottle? In her other hand she hand one a those big ice cream tubs, ya know the kind that even has a handle? Cookies n Cream. That sounded kinda good. He wondered how it goes with beer.

Anyway, she went right over ta Maggie and gave her one a those big ol' Cindy hugs, the woman should patent those, and told her how sorry she was and that all men are dickheads. And they all three nodded their heads in agreement.

As unfair as that statement sounded to Daryl, do ya think for one minute he was gonna disagree with three women eatin' ice cream by the fuckin' barrel and drinkin' wine by the gallon? Not if he wanted ta live he wasn't.

Then, thank gawd Merle come through the door, he was carrying the beer one handed and in the other he had one a them happy meal boxes and a big ol' grocery sack. Daryl could now take a deep breath, he had back-up.

Merle just nodded ta the women and came into the kitchen with the goods.

Daryl tried ta just blend in while he snuck in the livin' room and snatched D.J. outta that walker whatever-the-fuck thing. He put the little guy in his high chair and tore up some nuggets in tiny pieces for him on the tray.

Then Daryl and Merle ate the fries, cuz really, they probably ain't good for babies.

Daryl was downright giddy when he saw the shit Merle brought. Besides the Cheetos and the pork rinds there was bean dip, Fritos and beef jerky. Merle may be a dumbass, but he knows how ta shop.

They was hidin' out in the kitchen, just drinkin', snackin' and havin' an in-depth conversation with D.J., okay yeah, they let him try the Cheetos, gotta get him trained right while he's young ya know. Anyway, he heard Maggie say in a raised voice, "Well why didn't he ever tell me before that's how he felt? I thought he liked Kale."

And Merle and Daryl just looked at each other, high fived, and tried not ta laugh out loud.

Daryl got D.J. ready for bed, was just fixin' ta lay him down when his Beth walked in the little guy's room. She give him a big hug from behind and said, "You're the best husband and Daddy in the whole world Daryl Dixon. Look at you just step up and take care of D.J. You'd never act like Glenn, yelling at Maggie just because she's trying to help him eat healthier, some men are so ungrateful."

And as much as he hated that fuckin' Kale he was damn glad he never said nuthin', cuz he was thinkin' his Beth might reward him later for how fuckin' great he is and whatnot.

They was just walkin' back in the front room when Glenn walked through the door with a scowl on his face and carryin' a bottle a Jack.

Shit man, it's Wednesday night. But whatever, there was marriages ta be saved and all.

Glenn was just shakin' his head at the women, and they was all givin' him the hairy eyeball. He come in the kitchen, got down a water glass and filled it half full a Jack. Which is kinda amazin', cuz Daryl never knew Glenn ta drink much. Thought he was kind of a health nut and all.

Anyway, Glenn set hisself down at the kitchen table, shook his head side ta side and just said, "Women."

And Merle just nodded and said, "I hear ya chinamen."

And Daryl was just thinkin', Merle ya dumbass.

But Glenn said, "It's Chinese Merle. I'm Korean Merle, Korean, from Michigan Merle."

Then Glenn started talkin' 'bout all these goofy ideas that crazy ass Maggie (nah, he didn't call her a crazy ass, not out loud anyway, sheesh) has. How she always just takes whatever the latest trend is and changes their whole life around ta follow whatever the fuck and whatnot.

Daryl wasn't real concerned cuz, well ya know, he was eatin' Cheetos, drinkin' beer and feelin' kinda hopeful his Beth was gonna show him how much she loved him later.

But Glenn was goin' on 'bout low carbs, carb loadin', high fat, low fat, white sugar, dairy-free, Yoga, Pilates, Boot Camp, Gluten-Free, whole grains, vegetarian, and Vegan. Well seriously? Daryl lost track of it after the Vegan thing. Anyway, all kinds a shit like that. Daryl was thinkin' maybe he didn't have it so bad cuz whatever the fuck half that stuff was, his Beth had never made him do that. Well not yet anyway.

Finally Maggie jumped up offa the couch and come in the kitchen, she looked poor ol' Glenn in the eye and she had a kind of a nasty snarl on her face, "I can't believe you acted like that Glenn Rhee, I go out of my way to try and keep you healthy, to make sure you exercise and take your vitamins. You don't appreciate anything I do!" She was loaded for bear.

But then Glenn, he just looked at her, all calm, with no expression or nuthin' on his face and he said, "Maggie, has it ever even occurred to you that sometimes I'd just like to have a meat lovers pizza with a six pack of beer while I lay on the couch watching football? Shit woman, I just wish you'd get off my fuckin' ass once in a while."

And Merle mumbled under his breath, "Fuck, the chinaman has balls of steel."

And Daryl didn't say a fuckin' thing about anythin', he just looked down at his Cheetos.

And Maggie, she just started cryin' again and Glenn he musta felt guilty cuz he got up and he hugged her real tight n said, "I love you Maggie, but damn, I'm a grown man, let me decide what I eat and whether I exercise. Please baby."

And she nodded her head, kissed him, and just that quick the fight was over.

Course, they all ended up in the living room having a couple more beverages and Daryl was happy as a dog with a bone cuz his Beth was sittin' in his lap. Then the feeling came over him and he couldn't help hisself, he just stood right up with her in his arms and carried her on into the bedroom.

She was a gigglin', and they was rippin' each others clothes off and she was tellin' him she loved him, and he was sayin' it right back, and they was both agreein' that they was the happiest couple on earth. Then they rewarded each other cuz of how great they are n all.

Daryl didn't wanna get up the next mornin' but he was a workin' man, so he did. He got out in the livin' room and there was a big ol' pile a bodies. He swore to himself he was gonna put a sign out front that said, "Dixon's Marriage Counseling and Crash Pad." Not really, he ain't n idiot, remember?

He went in the kitchen and got the coffee goin', then he went back in the livin' room, kicked Merle square in the ass, and said, "time ta get ta work brother."

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go, have a little wine, ice cream and Cheetos with your Kale :-) Thank you for reading, please comment. Love ya large, xo gneebee


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was in response to a prompt from a Bethyler - Thanks to ledanna!

It's Wednesday after work so y'all know Daryl and Merle are at that little dive bar having a cold one.

"So what've you n yer cute little ball-buster been up to this week Baby Brother?" Merle has a way with words.

"Ya know Merle, one a these days yer gonna slip n call Beth that to her face and that's when she's gonna bust yer balls with one a them pointed toe cowboy boots" and they both laughed at that, but they knew it was the damn truth.

"Thing about my Beth is, I swear ta the almighty the woman conjures up ideas in her pretty little head she knows will just mystify the fuck outta me," and Daryl shook his head side to side.

"Oh yeah, what's she conjurin' now?" Merle took a swallow of his brew, cuz damn, that's what they was here for.

"Couple a things. Crazy as this sounds, she wants ta put D.J. in some baby survival swimmin' program down at the recreation joint. I told her I'd take the little fella down ta the creek and teach him everythin' he needs ta know 'bout survival swimmin', just like I learned it. But she said it ain't the same. Well I guess it ain't cuz my way's free an her way's gonna cost me a $175.00 every fuckin' month," Daryl took a gulp of his beer. "Then I told her what about all them little fellas in that pool at the same time shittin' their pants and whatnot, that don't seem like any kinda good idea ta me. She said they's all gonna be wearin' somethin' called a swim diaper and wasn't gonna be no poop in the water. Yeah, we'll see 'bout that."

"So I'm guessin' ya wrote the check just like little ball-buster told ya to, huh," and Merle started laughin', you know how he does.

"Fuck yeah I did. I like her lovin' on me so I try hard ta keep her happy," Daryl grinned.

"Well ya know my woman can't swim a lick. Course she didn't tell me that 'fore we got married, now she wants ta take swimmin' lessons. I told her she didn't need no swimmin' lessons cuz she has them natural flotation devices," And Merle was cackling now, cuz y'all know how he is.

"So I'm guessin' ya wrote the check just like Cindy told ya to, huh?" Daryl chuckled and took a drink a beer.

"Fuck yeah I did, I like that good lovin' as much as you do little brother, that there is the Dixon way. When it comes ta the women we're lovers, not fighters." And then they high fived cuz ya know, sometimes they both act like dumbasses.

"So what's the other thing little ball-buster has conjured up for ya ta be mystified about?" Merle ordered them each one more beer.

"This may be right up there in her top five craziest notions; she's plannin' on throwin' a great big damn party for D.J.'s first birthday. I thought it was just gonna be family comin' by ta wish the little fella a Happy Birthday an eat a slice a cake, but the girl has officially gone Birthday party insane. Shit, the boy ain't ever even gonna remember any of it. She's invitin' all them Moms and all their kids from D.J.'s play group. Shit, I don't even know what a fuckin' play group is, but there's gonna be ten a them little yard apes and she says their Moms n Dads will all stay. She said they're probably gonna have their brothers and sisters come too," That required Daryl to take a large gulp from the brown bottle.

Merle in his wisdom remarked, "Hell, I's planning on bringin' a case a beer over, now I guess I better bring a damn keg." And no, he wasn't jokin'.

"That's the worst part brother, Beth says she don't want no drinkin' at the birthday, says we'll act like a buncha redneck fools and them folks won't let their kids be friends with D.J. I ask her why she wants ta pretend we're sumthin' we ain't, n she just looked at me like I's dumber than a box a rocks and walked off," that there required another big swallow.

"Well fuck little brother, I guess we'll all get drunk after the party," Ya know, sometimes Merle ain't a complete dumbass.

Daryl got home and there was his Beth just puttin' the finishin' touches on some fried squirrel and biscuits. She was wearin' them short shorts an a belly shirt with them cowboy boots, and she walked right over, give him a big ol' kiss, told him she missed him taday, and he knew why he went along with every crazy fuckin' thing she conjured up and never objected, out loud anyways.

"Hey Baby, dinner smells almost as good as you," and he stole one more kiss, then went over to D.J. an give him a big ol' Daddy hug an ask him, "How's my boy doin', ya do everythin' Mama told ya to taday?" and D.J. just smiled and giggled cuz he knows how ta warm his Daddy's heart.

xxxx

Saturday morning an Daryl is tellin' himself, if I can just get through this fuckin' Birthday party I'll be good for a year.

That's when disaster struck.

It seemed D.J. had discovered how ta flush the toilet. Little fella didn't know how ta use the damn thing but he knew how ta flush it. Daryl told him he was puttin' the cart before the horse, but D.J. just giggled.

Anyways, it appears that he has flushed sumthin' down there cuz the toilet ain't workin' anymore. No sir. And Beth is panickin' cuz she figures they got close ta 40 people gonna show up for the Birthday party of the century (Nah, she didn't call it that, he's just thinkin' that) and they only got the one toilet, and Daryl, ya know, bein' a Dixon an all, well sometimes he can be a dumbass too cuz he says ta her, "Well they ain't gonna be drinkin' no beer so they ain't gonna need the bathroom anyway," course when he saw her face he did not laugh at his joke. Even though he thought it was pretty fuckin' funny, cuz ya know, maybe he's an idiot but he's not a _complete_ idiot.

Anyway, he redeems himself by remindin' her, "Baby, Merle owns a plumbing business for hell sakes, I'ma call him right now and tell him ta get his ass over her and fix this shit," and he almost laughed right then, but he's tryin' ta get back on her good side.

Merle was there in no time with his official plumbin' truck and all. He soon discovered the trouble, cars.

Yep, that's right. D.J. for reasons only he would ever know had decided ta flush every damn Hot Wheel he had, and he had plenty cuz he loved them things and all, right down the toilet.

No wonder it was clogged up. Let that be a lesson kids, don't be flushin' cars down the toilet.

Merle was just a laughin' namin' every make n model as he pulled 'em from somewhere deep in the workins a the toilet. Beth was puttin' up with his nonsense cuz, ya know, he was gettin' the job done an savin' the day an all.

So anyway, back ta the party.

Everybody come over at noon. Daryl was in charge a grillin' the hot dogs. Now they had regular ones for the grown-ups, but she cut the kids' dogs in half the long way. When he'd questioned her she told him she didn't want no kids chokin' on hot dogs at their house. Seemed reasonable.

Anyway, Daryl managed ta do a terrific job a grillin' up the dogs an everyone was eatin' em with Beth's tater salad and a big fruit salad her Mama had brought over. Only thing missin' was Cheetos. But he didn't say nuthin', sheesh, you kiddin'?

The other thing Mama had brought was a chocolate n peanut butter pie just for Daryl, it was hidden in the fridge. He loves Beth's Mama.

Anyway there was plenty a food ta go 'round an everyone seemed ta be havin' a grand time. Oh he knew him n Merle, n Cindy, n Glenn n Maggie, and heck, even Beth, all wished ta hell they had a nice cold beer ta go with their dogs, but they'd make up for it later.

Then a car pulled in the driveway, Daryl swore it was that same janky little dude from the convenience store, and he was carryin' a big case a some kind. Y'all remember him, Daryl bought a shitload a snacks from that guy back when his Beth was in the eatin' junk food phase a the pregnancy. Well so anyway, he an Daryl gave each other the head nod.

Then the guy commenced ta blowin' up balloons n twistin' 'em all manner a ways n makin' little hat things for the kids n little animals, and Daryl wondered, is Beth payin' for this shit? And then he remembered, nah, I'm payin' for it. But it seemed ta be makin' the little ones and their tight-ass parents happy, so why the fuck not.

Then there was the Birthday cake. Beth had outdone herself with that sonofabitch. He didn't think their weddin' cake was any fancier than this shit here. It was made ta look like a race track, n there was little hot wheels s'posed ta be racin'. He didn't dare look at Merle cuz he knew he'd get ta laughin' an Beth wouldn't be happy one bit. No sir.

So he just sang Happy Birthday to his boy right along with everyone else and then boom, D.J. stuck his hand right in the cake.

Now Daryl thought maybe that would upset his Beth, but she just said, "Now D.J., you have to share."

And all the tight-ass parents chuckled, and Daryl didn't look at Merle.

"Bout the time the party was breakin' up Beth's Mama said she and Hershel would sure love if they could take D.J. home ta spend the night with them. Daryl suspected Mama knew some serious drinkin' was gettin' ready ta commence and her precious grandson would be a whole lot better off somewhere else.

Anyway, he said he'd take him in get him cleaned up n whatnot, you know, like pack him up a little bag n stuff. Anyway, so he's in there an he's changin' the diaper an he's packin' the bag and he's talkin' ta his boy, ya know, a father/son kinda talk. So he tells the boy, "D.J., ya done a naughty thing taday when ya flushed them cars down the toilet. See here son, that kinda stuff makes Mama all manner a shook up and you never wanna upset yer Mama, she's the most important woman we got in our life son. We gotta treat her right, show her how much we love her and whatnot, K?" and the baby just giggled and Daryl give him a big ol' Daddy hug.

What Daryl didn't know, was Beth and her Mama had started down the hall ta see if they could help him get D.J. ready and they overheard what he said ta the little fella. Beth's Mama squeezed her hand and they both smiled and had maybe just a tear or two in their eyes. And Mama whispered, "You have such a good husband Bethie."

So I don't have ta tell ya that once all the tight-ass guests had left, and Mama and Daddy Greene had left with the Birthday Boy, the real party started. Merle went out ta his truck n got the cooler out the back, it was full a beers on ice, and Glenn went out ta his SUV and got his cooler fulla beers on ice, and Daryl went out ta the work shed and got his cooler fulla beers on ice. "Hello Georgia it's Saturday Night!"

And Daryl got that chocolate peanut butter pie outta the fridge, an he didn't even bother ta slice it, he was just eatin' it right outta the pie plate witha fork and drinkin' his beer. And there was Merle sittin' over there eatin' a big ol' helpin' a Beth's tater salad with a big ol' hunka cake, drinkin' a beer.

And Glenn just looked between the two of them and asked, "How the hell do you guys do that? Eat sweets and drink beer?"

And Daryl n Merle just shrugged an kept right on a eatin' sweets an drinkin' beer.

Then Merle brought in the case the janky little white dude had at the party. Turns out he'd traded him a 12 pack a beer ta get ta use of it for the night. And they's all blowin' up balloons n tryin' ta make animals n hats n what not, only one that come close was Cindy. Merle said, "Maybe ya oughta practice that shit some more, then you can start earnin' money an make enough ta pay for them swimmin' lessons yerself." And Cindy punched him in the arm real hard and he just laughed an give her a big ol' bear hug.

His Beth was sittin' in his lap, which is his favorite place for her ta sit. That's when Beth said to him, "I've taken D.J. out of swimming lessons Daryl. We got a refund."

He tried not ta act happy when he asked, "Why Baby? I thought you was all sold on the idea."

And his Beth looked right at him an said, serious as could be, "Yesterday when D.J. was having his lesson, and you know I have to be in the pool with him, one of those babies pooped their pants and it must have been diarrhea because oh my God, it was just everywhere. I hurried and got me and D.J. out of the water and ran us in the shower room, and we rinsed off real quick. Then I got us home and gave him a really good bath. Then I took a shower, and I used Lysol. I was so freaked out. Oh Daryl it was the most disgusting thing ever. I still feel like I want to puke."

And no, Daryl did not laugh, and no, Daryl did not say I told ya so. (I think we should give him a standing ovation, cuz, ya know, that had ta be tough) Cuz Daryl was hoping that later she was gonna show him how much she loved him for cookin' all them damn hot dogs, and not sayin' 'I told ya so,' and whatnot.

Instead he just said, "Damn Baby, I'm real sorry ya had ta go through that, that there is just terrible." And he hugged her tight and kissed her. Cuz, ya know, he's not a _complete_ fuckin' idiot.

And then she got up for a minute, and damn if she didn't go right in there and get him a Jack n Coke. Shit, like it was _his_ birthday.

Then she set right down in his lap again and he was a sippin' that drink, but then she snuggled in and whispered in his ear, "You're the best husband in the whole world Daryl, and I'm going to show you just how much I love and appreciate you tonight."

And he looked at her, tilted that glass up, sucked that beverage right down, picked her up and carried her in the bedroom.

The others all looked at each other cuz they knew they wasn't gonna see Daryl n Beth again that night. Merle turned up the radio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there ya go just another day in paradise. FYI, I personally have experienced both the Hot Wheels in the toilet incident and the baby pooping in the pool incident, cuz life can't ALL be good times :-)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all reading this crazy little tale. brady66 wanted a chapter where Beth does something nice for Daryl. Let's see how that works out for everyone.

The clouds were dark over Dixon-land. Merle had started noticing it about three weeks ago. Baby Brother seemed all tense, distracted and generally outta sorts. Merle asked him if he was okay, but he'd done that shruggin' n gruntin' thing he did, you know the one I'm talkin' about, the one that drives us all insane.

But tonight when Merle came in the dive bar to have his weekly beer with his brother, he knew for sure there was big trouble in paradise. How? Well, see, Daryl did have a bottle a beer in front of him but he was also powering down a shot a whiskey. That's right, and it's Wednesday, it ain't Saturday.

So Merle walks over ta the bar, claps his brother on the back and says, "Okay boy, I done put up with yer moodiness for three weeks now, what the fuck little brother? What's goin' on?"

The barkeep sets a beer down in front a Merle, cuz let's be real, dude is familiar with the Dixons.

So anyway, that's when Daryl says it, "I'm scared Merle, scared my Beth's got sumthin' goin' on the side."

Holy Fuck. Merle plops his ass down on the stool and says, "Nah boy, that can't be, Beth ain't that kind. It's been obvious from the start that girl loves yer ragged ass. Why ya thinkin' like this boy?"

While Daryl was tryin' ta gather his words Merle texted Cindy, "Looks like it's gonna get drunk out tonight. Baby Brother's all manner a miserable. Catch up on your chick shows, I'll call ya later for a ride. Love ya doll." His phone beeped back at him, "Okay lover man, I'll miss you."

Damn his Cindy was a good woman, but this isn't about him and Cindy, so let's get back to the story.

"I dunno what the fuck Merle. I can just feel it, sumthin' ain't right. It's a bunch little things. Well like, ya know how she always cooked me real nice suppers? Well the past three weeks, unless it's Sunday or sumthin' and I'm home durin' the day, everythin's like sumthin' she just threw tagether at the last minute. And she's always been one ta take a bubble bath at night right after dinner while I have my Daddy time with D.J. Now she's showerin' right before I come home, like she's cleanin' up from sumthin'. And fuck Merle, a couple times I made a reach for her in bed and she told me she was too tired, that ain't never happened, well except for that one week when she was pregnant and thought she was fat, but that was different. But she ain't ever been one ta hold back the lovin'. All them things was adding up ta trouble, but when I knew for sure sumthin' was definitely wrong was when Tyrese come back from lunch taday. He said him and a buddy met up at that college bar where Beth used ta sing n wait tables, he says they didn't stay cuz there wasn't an empty table in the joint, but anyway, she didn't see him, but she was there talkin' ta some college guy."

Merle was worried Daryl was gonna come apart right there so he did the only thing he could do, he ordered 'em each a shot a Jack and another beer.

"Well ya know Little Brother; it ain't my way ta be the voice a reason, but I'm gonna just say it, there could be a reason for all this, ya know, a simple explanation."

But Daryl just shot the shot, chugged the beer, ordered another of each and said, "Nah, it's clear ta me. My Beth has got herself some college guy, she got sick a my ass. I'm yesterdays' news."

And when barkeep brought the next round Baby Brother had that shot shot and that beer chugged practically before the poor bastard could set it down. Barkeep didn't miss a beat, he just brung more. Ya work in a bar long enough ya get ta know when a guy's just there for a drink, and when a guy's there ta drink someone off his mind.

But Merle, he knew Baby Brother wasn't ever gonna drink the little ballbuster offa his mind, cuz Baby Brother was hooked for life. There was no doubt. The boy was a one woman man, and his Beth? Well she was the woman.

Meanwhile in the woods…Beth was starting to wonder why Daryl hadn't come home yet or at least called. He was always real good about that. She knew a lot of guys weren't, but Daryl was different. He knew she'd worry and he never liked her to worry. So, since it was his beer night with Merle she called Cindy to see if she might have heard anything.

And Cindy read her Merle's text.

Now Beth didn't know what to think. Was there some kind of trouble at work? Was something wrong with him, a health issue, or had something else happened to upset him? She just couldn't imagine.

She went to bed at 9:30, like she and Daryl usually did, after all, they started their days around 5:00am.

Meanwhile back at the bar our boy Daryl was on a mission. What kinda mission you ask? The kind where ya get so fuckin' shitfaced ya don't even remember how ya got home. For the record, Merle was pretty damn drunk his own self, but at least he was sober enough ta send Cindy a text. "Come get your lover man doll face."

Daryl did manage to make it to Cindy's car under his own steam, and in his front door under his own steam. He had no intention a gettin' in the bed with her. She didn't want his ass, she made that clear, so he just plopped that unwanted ass down on the couch, threw an arm over his eyes and passed right out, just like the good little drunk he was.

Now Beth had heard him come in, I mean seriously, how can you miss that kind of a racket? But he didn't come in the room so she went out to the living room and there he was, sound asleep on the couch. He hadn't even taken his jacket and boots off.

Well she did love her crazy, and suddenly it seemed irresponsible husband, so she wrestled the boots off of him at least.

She felt kind of hurt and she even got a little teary-eyed, because Daryl always came to bed with her, always.

She woke up at 5:05, went out to the living room to straighten things out with him and he was gone. Why? His shift didn't even start until 7:00.

She started crying and she wasn't sure why, it's just that, you know, she knew something had to be wrong, and Daryl wasn't talking to her about it. That hurt.

About 10 a.m. Merle got a phone call from Tyrese. Tyrese was concerned ta say the least. See, he'd told Daryl about seeing his woman at the bar n restaurant joint, hell, he didn't think it was any kinda big deal, but then he saw how Daryl stiffened right up and how his jaw set, and the way he was chewin' that lip and his eyes had gotten all hard n squinty. Y'all know the look.

So anyway, he tells Merle that he's pretty sure Daryl's headin' over there himself at lunch time and he doesn't know whose blood it will be, but he's pretty sure blood will be shed cuz Daryl is actin' all kinds of insanely pissed off and just generally crankier than shit.

So Merle thinks fast, which considerin' his head feels like there's a metal band livin' in it, his mouth feels like a wad a cottonballs, and he's been on the verge a pukin' all mornin', is pretty good. He tells Tyrese to meet him at the joint just as fast as he can at lunch. They may have homicides ta prevent and all.

Now let's pause here for just a minute and think about a few things. We know Daryl is...well Daryl is a hothead. There's just no other way of sayin' it. He's a reactor, you know how he just reacts ta things without always thinkin' them through. And we all know how he feels about his Beth, well, it's like Merle said. In fact, has anyone besides me noticed that Merle seems to be, out of the whole pile of players we've got goin' on in these chapters, the most chill? Well, except maybe for Beth's Mama.

Anyway, meanwhile back at the bar n' restaurant Merle is waitin' out front, hoping ta keep his Baby Brother and Little Ballbuster both outta jail. Whoa, speakin' a Baby Brother, here he comes now and Merle's pretty sure the boy is about ta combust.

Thank the almighty, here comes Tyrese. Merle nods his head at Tyrese, and Tyrese nods back. They're following Daryl into the bar n' restaurant joint n Daryl is so single minded he don't even notice them right behind him.

Daryl stops, he scans the room and spots his Beth, she's settin' a beer down in front of some slick lookin' college guy.

Now the barkeep, none other than Beth's friend Amy, just knows this has explosive potential, but what the heck is she supposed to do? She's pretty relieved to see Merle, she figures he may be the only living person that can stop a train like Daryl Dixon once it leaves the tracks. She says a couple of quick prayers.

That's when Daryl makes his move. It only takes him about four long strides to get up behind Beth, thankfully Merle and Tyrese are still doggin' him. Daryl grabs his Beth around the waist, one armed, and lifts her right off her feet while saying in pretty much the most intimidatin' voice ya ever heard, "What the fuck Beth?!"

And she's kickin' her feet and she yells at him, "What are you doing Daryl Dixon? Have you lost your mind?"

About that time college boy starts to stand up, you know, to save the day and all, but Tyrese just says to him, all calm like, "Save a life taday boy, yours. Sit yer ass back down, we got this."

Well, seriously, who's gonna argue with logic like that comin' from a guy the size of Tyrese? So college boy sits back down.

All those noisy ass college kids have gone quiet as church mice, just watchin' the drama unfold.

Merle, he hooks one a his arms up under one a Baby Brother's arms, while Tyrese hooks his arm under Daryl's other arm, and they lift up, carryin' Daryl, who's carryin' Beth, right out ta the parkin' lot. As they pass the bar Merle says ta Amy, "Beth quits," and Amy she just nods.

Now what you may not know is; well Daryl's kind of a big deal at work. Ain't no one in the Great State of Georgia that knows more about engines, particularly jet engines, than Daryl Dixon. Hell, might not be anyone in this whole part of the country who knows more than Daryl Dixon about such things. He's what ya call a huge asset ta the company.

Well, and you know how he can focus, get things done that need doin', you know he shows up on time every day, won't hardly take a vacation. Ya may find this a little hard ta believe, but he never causes any trouble and those are the reasons he's the supervisor a the whole fuckin' jet factory. Only got the one guy above him.

Anyway, back to the story.

So they get out to the parkin' lot, Tyrese has both of his massive arms wrapped around Daryl's upper body, keeping him nearly in place. Merle has Beth in the same kinda hold.

Poor Beth, she's cryin', wonderin' what on God's green earth just happened. What has come over her loving husband?

So the voice of reason, yep Merle, says, "Alright you two, yer gonna work this shit out and yer gonna work it out now. Ya go on home and don't y'all leave home til ya done reached an understandin', that clear?"

And Daryl and Beth both nodded.

And Merle said ta her, "Now I know ya wanna kill Baby Brother, but don't do it Little Sister, please, for me."

Then Merle looks at the big man, "What about work Tyrese?"

And Tyrese smiled an said, "I'ma tell the big boss that the little boss come down with an ailment at lunch, had ta go home, probably won't be in tamorrow either."

And Merle asked her, "Where's my nephew?"

And she said, "Mama's."

And Merle said, "Okay, I'ma call Mama Greene and tell her ya both come down with some kinda sickness, sicker'n a couple a dogs and D.J. best stay there. And I hope y'all appreciate that cuz I hate ta lie ta that sweet woman."

And Beth started cryin' harder. And Merle give her a squeeze. "It's all gonna be okay Little Sister, it's gotta be, K? I'll check in with ya later."

And Beth nodded and Merle got her in Daryl's truck.

Tyrese walked with Daryl over to the truck and the big man said, "Ya know ya love that woman, hell, I think everyone in the whole damn county knows how much ya love that woman, and dammit son, she loves you, you got ta know that so get on home and work this shit out." And Daryl just nodded and got in the truck.

They didn't speak a word all the way back out ta the cabin, but Beth was cryin' softly the entire way. Daryl was feelin' like shit about that but he didn't know why he should. I mean fuck, she's the one done him wrong n all.

Daryl got outta the truck and like always he went around ta Beth's side and opened the door. He was relieved when he held his hand out for her ta take it, and she let him help her down from the truck.

They got inside and he plopped down in his chair and she plopped down on the couch, and he just looked at her and said, "Why Beth? Why did ya do it?"

And she said, "I was just trying to earn a little money so I could surprise you."

Okay, now our boy is confused, "What're ya talkin' about?"

"What you asked me. Why I've been working during lunch hours again. I wanted to earn some money of my own to surprise you. I was gonna buy you one of those big Stump's Smokers. I know you've admired them, and I wanted to give you something special Daryl, something I bought with my own money," and boom, she started crying hard now.

The really sad part was, Daryl got teary his own self. And he said it, oh shit, he said it, "Fuck Baby, I thought you was foolin' around with someone."

And she looked at him with those giant baby blues and she got up and walked over to him and he stood. He was thinkin' she was gonna hug him and all, then she slugged him smack in the jaw. She really started cryin' and she said ta him, "How dare you Daryl Dixon! Is that really what you think of me? I'm your wife and you're supposed to trust me. Maybe if you would have just come to me and asked me we wouldn't both be feeling like crap right now. My God Daryl, I love you more than I love breathing. You're the love of my life, I try hard to show you every day how much you mean to me. I can't believe you'd think for one second that I would ever have another man."

And damn, he started cryin' and he said, "Please Beth, don't be hatin' on me. It's just that shit, my heart was breakin'. I knew sumthin' was goin' on, ya wasn't cookin' like usual, you was showerin' up right before I got home, you was tired all the time, didn't even want my lovin'. Shit Baby, I'm a dumbass but I love ya and I thought I was gonna lose ya. I been a wreck, practically drank myself ta death last night and I almost killed me a dumbass college kid taday. I know I'm a hot head but when it comes ta you Baby, sometimes my heart and my insanity, well they just outpace my common sense. Please Baby, don't be mad. I don't know what the fuck I'd do without ya, that's a fact."

And then she did hug him and he hugged her right back and pretty soon they was kissin', and then they was gettin' each other's clothes off, and then they was provin' their love of one another, right on the damn livin' room rug.

So anyway, once that part was settled, Daryl started ta wax poetic. No, I'm not kiddin'. He said to her, "Baby, I ain't been fair to ya 'bout money. I'm always callin' it my money, and it ain't, it's our money. You work just as hard, probably harder, than I do. Only difference is, ya work here and I go to a outside job where they give me a nice paycheck. Yer here workin' cuz that's what _I_ wanted not cuz that's what you wanted. Ya take good care a me all the time, ya take good care of our boy. Luckiest day a my life was the day I walked in that bar an you was there just singin' like an Angel and you agreed ta be my Angel, an I been happier than I ever thought anyone could be. I don't want ya buyin' me nuthin', I don't want ya thinkin' ya owe me a present ta show me ya care for me. All I want is my Beth, right here with me, always. I love ya Baby."

Well, after that they had to set about showin' their love for one another again.

After that display of affection, she said to him, "Daryl, I have to take some of the blame too, I shouldn't have been sneaking around to do _anything_. No one knows me like you do and I should have realized you'd notice right away that something was different. But you have to know Daryl, I love you, you're my everything. And honestly Daryl, I have a real man, the best husband and Daddy there is, why would I trade you in for a boy?"

They kissed and all but then she said, "If you ever accuse me of anything like that again I swear to Heaven above, I will kick your ass."

And he said, "I hope ya do Baby cuz I deserve it."

About that time Daryl's phone beeped, it was a text from Merle, "Everything okay Little Brother?" And Daryl texted right back, "Better than okay Brother, thanks, I owe ya."

Then he thought he'd best text Tyrese, which he did, "Hey man, thanks for saving my ass from myself. Beth and me are good. I owe you lunch all next week." And he was thinking, shit, Beth packs my lunch, I guess she's off the job next week.

He fixed them each a grilled cheese sandwich and opened a fresh bag of Cheetos. All that makin' up they were doin' was makin' him hungry.

First thing in the mornin' they headed right out ta the farm ta get their boy.

Now, in case you were actually silly enough to think that anything gets by Mama, the first thing she said to them was, "Did you two work out your differences?"

And they both looked down at their shoes and they was a little red in the face, and then they said at the same time, "Yes Mama."

Then Mama said, "Why don't you two leave D.J. with me and Daddy next weekend and go down to Savannah, just the two of you?" That sounded nice.

On the way home they stopped by that college bar n restaurant where Daryl was 100% sure neither one of 'em would ever set foot again, and picked up her car.

Once they were home she asked him how he got home from the bar the night before, they were both set against drunk driving. "Cindy come and got us," he told her.

She asked him how he managed to leave before she even got up at five in the morning and get to work with no truck. He couldn't help a smile, "I left at 4, walked all the way ta the bar and got my truck. Ya don't think a stupid and prideful S.O.B. like yer husband was gonna ask you for a ride ta work did ya?"

They both had a laugh which made D.J. laugh, which made them laugh harder.

Beth packed them all a nice picnic and they headed down to the creek where Daryl was givin' D.J. survival swim lessons.

Once again life was just right in Dixon-Land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! I hope you all enjoyed it, especially you brady66. Thank you for reading, please comment. Love ya large, xo gneebee


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank my girl Kevkye for giving me the romantic vacation idea. I hope you enjoy!

Baby Brother was already at the bar drinking a beer when he walked in, and Merle could tell by the look on his face he was not a happy boy.

"Gettin' started without me brother?" Merle thought maybe he'd get a half a grin, but no, he just got a "Shut up, Merle."

Good thing was, about that time barkeep set a beer down in front of Merle.

"Alright little brother, I'ma let that go by cuz I can see yer pissed n I got a beer ta drink. You n little ballbuster havin' a squabble?"

"Nah, that ain't it, shit, if it's possible this is even worse than that. In fact, she's so fuckin' happy right now I'm startin' ta think she might just burst her seams." And baby brother took a big ol' swallow a beer.

"Well, if it ain't Beth then what the hell's up boy, anythin' I can help ya with?" Merle was tryin' to help, cuz really? Baby Brother just wasn't any fun to be around when he was all sullen and moody and whatnot.

"Big Boss is makin' me go ta some fancy damn party. Gonna be at a big hotel down in Atlanta in the hotel ballroom for hell sake. I gotta wear a fuckin' tuxedo, says I need ta learn some damn table manners and gotta learn ta dance. I told him I know how ta dance n he said he didn't mean that R rated slow dancin' I do with Beth."

And Merle couldn't hold it in he started cacklin', you know, the damn Merle cackle that just about drives Daryl insane. "Shut up ya dumbass."

"Sorry kid, but shit, I'm tryin' ta picture ya in a tux waltzin' around at some damn ball," and there went that fuckin' cackle again. Merle was tryin' hard to stifle it. "Sorry, so what the hell is this all about anyways?"

"Ah the biggest fuckin' customer we got is havin' this doin's and he specially asked big boss for him an me be there. Customer wants ta party with the guy that builds his jets. I tried ta get big boss ta take Oscar but he said 'No, it's gotta be you little boss.' Fuck. Whoever thought bein' a boss could be the worst thing that could happen to a guy?"

"Well now boy, let's think about this for just a minute here. Ball buster's been askin' ya ta take her on a vacation for a while, now it sounds like this here could be the start. If it's some fancy place and ya stay a couple extra nights, yer golden with her. Shit, a fuckin' fancy party and a vacation, you oughta be on her good side for at least six months. In fact, since yer gonna be there anyways, maybe Cindy n me'll go on down there too. We can all party, I mean, ya know, besides yer fancy little princess ball."

"Yeah, right perfect, the fuckin' redneck invasion of Atlanta. A damn Redneck Apocalypse. That fancy hotel'll get one look at us, bar the doors and call the cops." And they both snorted out a laugh thinkin' about that.

They'd just that one more beer while they settled on a plan. The party was on a Saturday so of course, they'd all head down there on Friday afternoon and get a head start on it. Saturday while Daryl and Beth were at the party Merle felt pretty damn sure he and Cindy could find a way to entertain themselves. Hell, maybe he'd even take her out to a big dinner. It all sounded like such a good idea, ya know, while they were discussin' it there in the bar n all.

Daryl got home, went right up behind that woman like he loved ta do when she was standing at the stove. He licked her ear, copped a feel and asked, "Hey baby, what's cookin'?"

She just smiled up at him and said, "Don't you start anything you don't plan to finish Daryl Dixon."

And that made him take just one more little feel and he smiled right back, "Just as soon as D.J. hits the sack, Baby."

Over dinner she asked him, "Daryl you've been a miserable man since you found out about the big party. In fact, I was almost starting to worry about you. What has you so darn happy all the sudden, I mean besides a couple of beers?"

"Merle n me come up with a plan about that. We thought we'd all head down there on Friday and stay until Monday, make it into that vacation you been wantin' ta take so bad." He was a little surprised she didn't smile.

"Daryl, that's really sweet and all, and you know I love Cindy and Merle, but I wanted to go on a vacation with just you and me, you know, to be alone." She looked at him with those big blue eyes and he was feeling pretty sure he'd fucked up. Nuthin' new about that.

"Well Baby, I thought I's doin' sumthin' you'd like, but hey I got lotsa vacation time comin', where do ya think ya wanna go?" Hell, he wouldn't mind bein' alone with her for a few days either.

"Well I can't make up my mind between Hawaii and New Orleans." Her pretty little brow was furrowed.

He knew what sounded good to him, the closer one. The one he could drive to. On the other hand, she did look damn hot in a swimmin' suit.

"You decide Baby n then I'ma take ya there, just you n me, k?" he thought maybe he wasn't in trouble after all. That was a real good thing cuz he was really lookin' forward ta followin' through with that promise he made over there by the stove, you know, for after D.J. went to bed and all.

She decided on New Orleans because she didn't want to be too far from D.J., and that sounded perfect to him. She didn't tell him it was because she knew flying scared the holy livin' beejeesus out of him and he could just drive them down to New Orleans.

They decided they'd go right from Atlanta, stay down in New Orleans four nights, then come on home, all refreshed and worn out at the same time.

But first things first. Early Saturday mornin' Mama Greene showed up to watch D.J. so Daryl and Beth could get down to Atlanta and get their clothes for the fancy party. Big boss was paying for Daryl to rent his tux and what all he needed, but he knew Beth wanted ta get herself a new dress and he liked that idea too.

They started with the easy part, his tux. Beth got all manner of excited when he came outta the little dressing room. "Oh my gawd Daryl, you look soooo hot!" And right then he decided maybe this damn tuxedo wasn't so bad.

He had no idea they gave ya the whole shootin' match – suit, shirt, belt, socks, shoes, tie, all of it. Damn, those shoes were shiny.

Next they went to the big department store to pick out her dress. They had a nice chair for husbands near the dressing room and that's where he parked his ass.

The sales lady knew a sale when she saw one comin' and she was bringin' his Beth every kinda color and style of dress they had in that place. Finally she come outta that dressing room and he knew he was lookin' at the most beautiful thing any man had ever seen. Damn.

She was wearing a bright red dress with long sleeves and some kinda see through lacy stuff up top, and damn, it was tighter than a gnat's ass stretched across a rain barrel. And he let her know how much he liked it, "Baby, I'm meltin' from the heat comin' offa you right now. You could wear that damn thing every fuckin' day and I'd never get tired a takin' it off ya." And the sales lady cleared her throat and Daryl said, "Oh shit m'am, sorry, didn't mean ta swear."

And the sales lady said, "Oh no need to apologize sir, she does look radiant." The sales lady wasn't gonna fuck up a sale just cuz Daryl said fuck, and insinuated one or two other things.

Then came the good part, she got some a those strappy high heel shoes and oh yeah, a tiny little purse that seemed pointless but she loved it and that's all Daryl cared about. The really good part was the tiny pair a red lace panties and a little red lace bra. Daryl was thinkin' he'd like ta have her model the shoes with the bra and panties. Then he'd like ta rip 'em off her, with his teeth. Maybe this party was gonna be fun after all.

After all that excitement they hightailed it home, hopin' Mama had D.J. over at the farm so they could show each other how sexy they thought they were. And they lucked out, and the hell with Disneyland, that cabin in the woods was the happiest place on earth.

Then Daryl went over and got D.J. while Beth fixed some nachos and all kindsa other snacks cuz Merle and Cindy was comin' over for beers so they could finalize all their vacation plans.

They all agreed they'd stay at the same fancy hotel where the party was, Beth and Daryl's room was all paid for Saturday night but Merle was just playin' the big shot. And the general attitude the brothers' shared was what the hell, it's only money and it makes the women happy.

Merle and Cindy were gonna head on home on Monday but Beth and Daryl were heading right on down to New Orleans. They coulda flown down there in an hour or so, but Daryl said he wanted ta see the scenery on the way there. Even though everyone knew he was fulla shit as a Christmas goose no one said a damn thing, cuz really? No one wants a cranky Daryl.

Once they made all the plans they got to the more serious drinkin', all of this planning had taxed them.

Two weeks later, on Friday, they all left at noon and headed that way. There was big excitement, especially on Beth's part. Daryl was thinking he might have ta give her one a those tranquilizer pills if she couldn't settle down. But he was smilin' to himself thinkin', "My Beth's gonna have big fun," And when his Beth had big fun, it meant Daryl had big fun.

They all checked into the fancy hotel and they ooo'd and they ahhhh'd and then they went to the man in the know, you know who I mean, the valet parking attendant. Daryl slipped him a twenty and asked him what was close by in the way of a real bar, and they headed right on over.

They proceeded to have fun the Dixon way. They drank some cold ones, had some shots, they played some pool, when they were sure no one was lookin' Merle and Daryl did a little inappropriate touching of their ladies and those ladies had no complaints.

Anytime Daryl was at least four drinks in he was happy to dance the slow ones with his Beth. He didn't care what that dumb fuckin' dance teacher said, he knew how to dance with his Baby. The best part was, she agreed.

And the short story is, all the Dixon's had a shitload a fun.

The next mornin', okay, it was late morning, they scoured the area until they found a Waffle House and had a big ol' breakfast that couldn't be beat. Then it was off to Zoo Atlanta.

Beth warned him she'd need two hours to get ready for the party. He had no idea why it would take that long, but he didn't argue because as you know, Daryl Dixon wasn't a complete idiot. He got her back to the room in plenty of time.

He took a quick shower, then she went in the bathroom. Just about the time he thought he'd never see her again she finally came out. She smiled at him and she looked so damn gorgeous. She had her make-up on – much more than she usually wore and including red lipstick. Her hair was really fancy, he'd never seen it like that. He like it. Then she took that little bathrobe off and she was wearin' those tiny red panties and that little red lace bra and he smiled at her and said, "Damn baby, now my whole night's gonna be spent thinkin' 'bout takin' them pretty little things offa you." And she just smiled, because really? She'd be thinkin' the same thing.

In the meantime, he'd been just sittin' in a chair in his boxers watching "Bow Madness" on the Outdoor Channel. And she told him he HAD to get the tux on, they had to go in 20 minutes. He grumbled but he knew she was right, and he kept telling himself he was gonna be with the prettiest, hottest woman at the ball. Or whatever the fuck this thing was. He was watching her pour herself into that dress and he admitted to himself, life wasn't all bad.

And they went, and they hung with Big Boss and his wife while they said their "Hellos" and they were drinkin' champagne, which was never a bad thing, and the big deal customer couldn't wait to shake Daryl's hand and tell him how much he appreciated him and he even said to Beth, "Your husband is a master of his craft Mrs. Dixon, there's no one else I'd ever want to build me a jet."

And he could see Beth smile all big and proud and he had to admit, he was a little puffed up hisself.

They had their fancy dinner of filet mignon and lobster tails and and an even fancier dessert they set fire to, it was pretty damn good. There was more champagne, and there was red wine, and there was white wine, and there was after dinner wine and there was after dinner single malt scotch. And two guys, including the big deal customer gave little speeches, not too long thank God, and then the music started.

Waiters and waitresses kept coming around with trays of more drinks, and there was an open bar if you didn't like what kind of drinks the waiters and the waitresses had, and everything was in fancy crystal glasses.

Daryl got to thinkin', these people liked to drink plenty, they just drank more expensive liquor outta more expensive glasses. And they liked to party plenty, just a little different kinda party. But that didn't make them bad, now did it? And he settled right into havin' some fun because the band had started and he was gonna dance with his Beth.

He was pretty well behaved at first, and so was she because, well you know, big boss had mentioned it to him about three thousand times, and they danced those slow dances just like the dance instructor had taught them. But then they had a couple more drinks and they could no longer be held accountable for their actions.

Big Boss and the Big Deal Customer were chatting and they just happened to be watching the Dixons glide across the dance floor, when they saw Daryl start suckin' on Beth's neck while his hand slid down on her ass cheek and gave it a real firm squeeze, and she seemed to melt right into him and he kinda had her lifted up by that ass cheek so that she was pressed into him. You know what I'm saying.

The Big Deal Customer smiled over at Big Boss and said, "I guess building jets isn't the only thing Dixon knows how to do."

All in all, the big fancy party turned out to be a lot more fun than Daryl could have ever imagined and his Beth, she was so happy. When they got back to their room she let him show her his skills at removing underwear with his teeth.

And because they were on vacation n all, and Daryl was currently the happiest man who'd ever walked the earth, they ordered room service for breakfast. Daryl even ordered a bottle of champagne and a pitcher of orange juice so they could make mimosas.

Merle n Cindy musta been havin' their own fun, or recovering from it, cuz they didn't hear from them 'til damn near noon. That's when they all decided they should do something healthy, and educational, oh c'mon, you know that's bullshit, they just wanted to see the fish, so they all went over to the Georgia Aquarium.

After lookin' at all those fish, they had a little craving so drove over to Joe's Crab Shack in Douglasville, cuz it wasn't THAT far.

Beth was watchin' her husband crack those crab shells, and not just his. Not her husband, he cracked hers too and damn, he was a fine lookin' thing. She loved the way those arm muscles twitched when he was showing those crab who was boss. And she scooted over closer to him, and she slid her had under the table and she gave him a friendly little squeeze, you know, just to let him know how much she appreciated his manliness. And Daryl was crackin' crab with a big ol' shit eatin' grin on his face.

They went back to the hotel n they all agreed it had been a pretty damn fine vacation, they toasted it with a couple of nightcaps in the hotel bar, and then they were off to their rooms.

Beth surprised him when she took a bottle a red wine outta her travel bag, smiled at him and said, "Let's have a little glass of wine and talk for a few minutes." And he got right to opening it, because he thought this could be bad, shit, is this the other shoe dropping? What could be wrong now?

He poured two glasses and handed her one of 'em then sat in the chair just waitin' for things ta turn bad. She came right over n got in his lap.

Naturally that one hand went right up to cup her butt cheek, he had to keep her from falling, right? And they clinked wine glasses, and then it started, "Daryl, I want to ask you something important." Aww shit. "And I really want you to be honest with me. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear, because you don't even know how I feel…"

He had that deer in the headlights look when he stopped her right there, "What the hell Beth, did I fuck up? Are ya mad at me? Just tell me what I done n I'll make it right."

She smiled, leaned over, gave him a big kiss, and told him, "Daryl, I don't understand why you always think I'm mad at you, I almost never get upset with you. You're the best husband in the world, oh, and also the hottest. Don't I show you how much I love you all the time?"

He smiled at her and said, "Yeah baby, you do. I guess I just can't believe a beautiful, sweet young thing like you wants to be saddled with some redneck asshole."

She pretended to slap him across the face and said, "Don't you ever talk about my husband that way or I'll kick your ass!" And they both laughed.

Then she asked it, "How do you feel about having another baby, Daryl?"

And he thought his stomach headed into his throat, and then she said, "And be honest with me, please."

He took a gulp of wine, and a real deep breath cuz he was gonna tell the truth, "Baby, ya know I love D.J. like nuthin' else. And there can't possibly be a speck of doubt in yer mind 'bout how much I love you. I think we done perfect with the little fella. Never imagined myself havin' a kid at all and he was definitely a surprise," and he couldn't help but smile thinkin' about the wedding, "And I'm satisfied with just him. Could change my mind later, but I don't really imagine that happenin'."

Now he waited for her to start cryin' and tellin' him she really needed a baby girl or sumthin', but instead, she put her arms around his neck and said, "Oh thank God Daryl, I thought for sure you wanted to have another one and I'm so happy with just our precious D.J."

With happiness all around, a bottle of wine to drink, and both of them thinkin' they wanted to show each other just how in love they were, you know, in that Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom, this vacation was just gettin' better and better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, please leave a comment. I love ya large, gneebee xo


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daryl & Beth, Cindy & Merle. Shall we head to the tavern?

Yep, it's Wednesday, so I know I don't need to tell you where we are. We're at that little tavern, the one that's just this side of being condemned. You know, The Mad Dawg. It's got the atmosphere our brothers like and the beers are cheap and frosty. You can't beat that.

Merle walked in and he saw Little Brother already sittin' at the bar, and Daryl was worryin' that thumb. Just a chewin' on it. Merle couldn't help it, he smiled, Little Brother was gonna be goin' on about sumthin' ta do with Little Ballbuster and that shit right there? That just made Merle's day.

But he went over next ta the boy, clapped him on the back, looked every manner a concerned for him, and said, "Hey Little Brother, ya look like ya just lost yer best friend, what can Ol' Merle do ta help?" And barkeep, being the fucking genius that he is, he set a beer down in front of Merle. It's why they pay him the big bucks.

Daryl just shook his head side ta side, so Merle played the card, "Little Ballbuster got ya upset about sumthin'?"

Sure enough that did the trick. "Fuck Merle, said she wants ta put a damn swimmin' pool in the yard, and somehow she got me ta agree."

"Somehow? She promise ya some good lovin'?" It was all Merle could do not ta laugh.

"Nah, she didn't promise it to me, she give it to me." And Daryl had a little grin.

And Merle couldn't help that laugh that escaped him. "See boy? That's yer trouble right there, yer such a damn horn dawg, n Little Ballbuster she knows that. She knows how ta get ya ta go along with whatever the hell she wants ya ta go along with." And Merle was still tryin' ta suppress that damn smile.

And Daryl said, "Yeah I know, my dumbass brother told me it's a Dixon Brother disease." And then they both snorted out a laugh as they clinked those beer bottles, cuz, ya know, I've told ya before, they're both perfectly capable of bein' complete dumbasses.

"But I can't lie ta ya Merle, I'm feelin' like she bamboozled me. I thought she just wanted me ta go down ta the damn Sears n order up the above ground kind, but fuck no, she wants the full on swimmin' pool in the ground with a slide n all." And Merle was thinkin' him n Cindy was gonna be havin' them a real good time in Daryl's new swimmin' pool. He was half tempted ta drink a toast ta Ballbuster.

But Merle still threw it on out there, "Well Little Brother, did it ever occur to ya ta just say, "No, we ain't doin' it'?"

"Don't be a dumbass Merle, it's Beth, I'd do anythin' ta make her happy." And Merle knew that, and he was thinkin' that won't stop the boy from sufferin' n complainin' the whole time the damn thing was bein' built. They was in for a good couple months of real entertainin' Wednesdays, for Merle anyways.

xxxx

It all started out sweet enough. She'd cooked him one a his favorite dinners, chicken fried steak, corn on the cob, mashed taters and gravy, and damn if she didn't make biscuits. Him n D.J. was in heaven. Well D.J. wasn't botherin' with nuthin' but a ear a corn, just a gnawin' on that thing n gigglin'.

He shoulda known sumthin' was up, bein' it was Tuesday night n all, usually chicken fried steak was more of a Sunday dinner, but ya don't argue with a chicken fried steak, ya eat that sumbitch.

And she smiled at him and she put her little hand over his, and he smiled back just before he stuck a big bite a that steak in his mouth, and she said, "I'm so lucky Daryl, you're the best husband any woman could ask for." Then she put a tiny little bite a steak in her mouth. The way she was slowly chewin' on that, and smilin' at him, he was thinkin' she was in the mood for some special lovin'. He'd go along with that, no problem, anything for His Beth.

That's about the time she fired her first missile. "It's just been so hot and muggy these past couple of weeks, me and D.J. can hardly even stand the thought of going outside, and I hate to keep him cooped up in the house. I just can't stand to see him uncomfortable either, it breaks my heart." And she let out a heavy sigh, for emphasis, "You probably never even noticed though, you know, you never leave that air conditioning all day, it's not like you're worried about taking a baby outside to get the little guy some fresh air."

He wondered why the hell he hadn't suspected sumthin' right then. Maybe cuz she wasn't even really complainin', she was actin' all sweet, rubbin' his leg, smilin' at him, and there was biscuits and gravy!

So bein' the world class clueless dumbass that he is, he smiled back at her and said, "I'm sorry baby, I wish there was sumthin' I could do but I can't change the weather." And he patted her little hand, cuz ya know, he's a lovin' husband n all.

"Well I did think of _something_ Daryl, I mean it would be so much fun, not just for D.J., but for me and you and when we have company. I was thinking it would be so fun to have a swimming pool in the yard."

Like the dumbass he knows he is, he'd smiled and said, "Yeah, that would be a lotta fun."

And he still didn't get it, maybe the gravy was drugged, but damn, it tasted good.

So ya know, he was watchin' his wildlife show, while scannin' American Bowhunter Magazine, and Beth, she'd cleaned the kitchen, given D.J. a bath n got him all ready for bed, then she ask him did he wanna come ta the baby's room for story time. She gave him that smile and of course he did and they put the little guy ta sleep. Life was pretty fuckin' perfect.

Then she made a big ol stretch and that tiny t-shirt rose up n showed off that pretty little belly, then she said, "I'm kind of sleepy Daryl, I think I'll just get ready for bed." And she rubbed her hand across his ass as she walked by. He knew just what she had in mind. No problem, like he said a million times, he'd do anything to keep His Beth happy.

He turned the TV off and checked that everythin' was buttoned up and he turned off the lights, all in record time.

He hurried and brushed his teeth, dove into bed with her, and the kissin' and the touchin' began. It was all real sweet like, then she pushed him over on his back and she started kissin' his chest, his belly and she was rubbin' the inside a his thighs, and then she looked up toward him with that come-on smile and she asked, "Wouldn't it be perfect if we had a pool right outside our bedroom, just right out there. We could go skinny dipping when we're done in here."

That did it, he was in the throws of anticipatin' what she was gonna do with that pretty little mouth when she was done talkin', so he said, "Yeah Baby, we should oughta get one."

And everyone in the Dixon household had a real good night.

It wasn't until the next mornin' Daryl realized he'd been hornswoggled. Yep, she'd used her sorcery on him, that was for sure. He decided he was gonna confront her about takin' advantage of his sensitive nature. Over coffee, grits n eggs he said, "Ya took unfair advantage a me last night Beth, ain't right ya know, ya played me."

Fuck a duck, she got big ol' tears in her eyes and she looked at him, all hurt n pitiful like and said, "I can't believe you'd accuse me of something like that Daryl Dixon! All I ever do is show my love and affection for you, try to make you happy, and you don't even appreciate me." And damn, she started ta cry and D.J. threw a handful a Cheerios at him, and Daryl could swear the little fella gave him a scowl.

Now he'd pissed off his whole fuckin' family.

And Daryl did the only thing a man could do in a situation like this, he hugged her close, told her he was the asshole of all creation and said how lucky he was ta have her, and please forgive him for being such a dumbass. Why didn't she just go on ahead n call some contractors today n start gettin' some bids on whatever kinda fancy swimmin' pool she wanted. She gave him a big beautiful smile and told him he was the most wonderful husband in the whole world, and D.J. he started clappin' n gigglin' – you'd think the kid knew what the fuck was goin' on.

And once again, there was happiness in the Dixon household.

C'mon now, do I always have to remind ya? Daryl Dixon ain't a idiot.

xxxx

It had taken just over seven weeks start ta finish and it cost Daryl just about as much as the house and the property, but he had ta admit, it was pretty fuckin' great. And Big Boss had given him that real nice early completion bonus from the Big Deal Customer, so that took some of the sting outta that price tag.

It had a kinda free form shape to it, and a slide, and a little waterfall thing, and damn, a Jacuzzi! He was imaginin' just how much fun he n Beth was gonna be havin' in that thing at night, ya know, after D.J. was in bed n all.

Beth had insisted, and she was right ta do it, there had ta be a wrought iron fence all around it, she didn't want D.J. ta be fallin' in by accident, even if he was a pretty good swimmer.

She'd hired a guy ta put in some landscapin' and she'd gotten some nice outdoor furniture, lounge chairs n all, n damn if she hadn't had a big ol' outdoor kitchen put in just for him. It had a beautiful built-in grill, a sink and a bar fridge AND a wine fridge, plus there was a bar with stools and all, and it had a nice overhang ta keep him shaded while he cooked for her. This here was gonna be like livin' in a damn country club!

If you was worried, and c'mon, I know ya were, there's a firepit.

Naturally, they had ta throw a pool party, you know, ta properly baptize the new Dixon playground. Merle n Cindy was comin', Maggie n Glenn, and of course, Mama n Daddy Greene.

They all showed up right at noon, Mama n Daddy brought food of course, there was tater salad, fruit salad and some homemade rolls, Beth had made some snacks and some fried pies for dessert, and Daryl was gonna be grillin' up some big ol steaks. This was gonna be a rare time alrighty.

Maggie n Glenn showed up n they had a shitload of pool toys for D.J., you know, like them little blow up lifesavers, and a little blow up boat he could sit in n float around the pool, noodles, just all manner a fun stuff for the boy. Poor Glenn, he about died from lack of oxygen blowin' everythin' up. Then Daryl mentioned he had that air pump in the shop, but oh well, too late now.

Merle n Cindy, now they always get practical, ya know, and they know where n how ta shop for things a party really needs ta be a party. They showed up with a case of assorted booze, Vodka, Gin, Bourbon, two bottles a Gentleman Jack, n so on. There was a case of assorted wines, and it goes without sayin', two cases a beer, and even a little package a 12 juice boxes for the little man.

Well that ought ta get 'em through today!

Everyone was havin' a time, n D.J. could not get enough a that pool. Beth was keepin' busy just reapplyin' sunscreen on him.

Mama and Daddy made to go about four o'clock, ya know God Bless 'em, they don't drink n they could see the handwritin' on the wall. So Mama packed a little overnight bag for D.J., and the three a them hightailed it back ta the farm.

That's when the adults, yeah, well I didn't say mature adults, started ta really get baked, and I ain't talkin' sunbaked. The booze n beer was flowin'. The ladies was lookin' damn fine in their swimmin' suits drinkin' their wine n justa laughin' among themselves, probably at their men, but who cares? Daryl couldn't hardly take his eyes offa his Beth, she was lookin' white hot in that tiny little flowered bikini. Someday he was gonna have ta talk ta her about that shit, wearin' sumthin' so revealin', it just wasn't right, ya know, proper for a married woman n all. He'd get ta that, he just wasn't sure when.

He figured him and Merle n Glenn just looked like the pasty white dumbasses they are, but who gives a fuck? Their women loved 'em.

They was gettin' kinda wild, n Daryl was glad he lived in the wild 'cause they was makin' plenty a noise, and that's when they all decided ta see who could slide down that slide the fastest. Daryl didn't give a fuck who won, it was just funner n shit ta watch. 'Specially when Cindy took a turn. She slid down that thing like greased lightning and bam, her swimsuit top just come right off when she hit the water.

Merle was just a laughin' so hard he couldn't catch his breath, it took him a few minutes before he could get enough air ta swim down ta the bottom a the pool and retrieve that thing, then he tried ta help her put it back on. Ol Merle, he wasn't quite as adept at dressin' his woman as he was at undressing her. It took a while and a lot a laughin', and it was a damn good thing they was all family cuz now they'd all seen Cindy's titties, and there was plenty ta see.

Daryl slid over into the Jacuzzi and his Beth slid over there with him and she sat on his lap, and his hand couldn't help it, it just went right to her ass and he had ta take a good feel of it, in fact, he was feelin' the need ta keep on feelin' and they started kissin'. She was a thankin' him for givin' her this beautiful new swimmin' pool, n he was thankin' her for comin' up with such a great idea. And he took her slippery little self firm in his arms and rose up outta that Jacuzzi like Godzilla, and he carried her right in that new door directly to their bedroom. Neither one of 'em seemed a bit concerned about gettin' everythin' wet, hey, that's resort life. And it didn't take him more'n 15 seconds ta get that little bikini offa her, and she might a got a little frisky herself pullin' that swimsuit offa him. Then they was just a bouncin' around in the bed, provin' their love for one another and tellin' each other how lucky they was ta have each other.

In the meantime, out at the pool, they was drinkin' toast after toast ta Daryl n Beth for buildin' 'em this pool.

And when Daryl got up Sunday mornin' ta start the coffee, damn if his beautiful new pool area didn't have four drunks passed out around it, and he smiled, this gonna be nuthin' but a shitload a fun right here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all had ya a real good time at the pool party. Thank you so much for reading and please leave a comment. Love ya large! xo gneebee


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guess what night it is? That's right! It's Wednesday night! Get yourself a frosty one and let's see what our gang is up to.

Yep, it's Wednesday night right after work, so c'mon, you know where the Dixon boys are, well a course, they're over there at that craptastic tavern that shoulda been condemned 10 years ago, meetin' for beers and brotherly bonding after work.

When Merle walked in the door he saw baby brother already sittin' there with a frosty one in front a him, and damn, it was almost like he was kinda smilin'. What's this all 'bout? This never happens!

"Hey little brother, what up? Ya look damn near happy for a change."

"Damn Merle, wish ya coulda been at my work today, it was like WWF between Big Boss, Mrs. Big Boss, and the Big Boss kids. I'm tellin' ya the shit hit the fan. Most fuckin' fun I ever had at work."

Barkeep set a frosty one in front a Merle, he knew what the Dixon boys liked.

"Well, don't just sit there grinnin' Baby Brother, tell me," Merle took a pull from the brown bottle and prepared ta be entertained.

"Well, everythin' started off like any other day. Oh yeah, n ya know how Big Boss's office is there at the one end a the shop, and he's got the giant window lookin' out on the rest a us, ya know, makin' sure we're pullin' our weight n whatnot. So well anyway, then a little while after lunch in walks Mrs. Big Boss. Holy shit Brother, she had on a blouse that was so tight I swear she bought the kid size. Her titties was fightin' each other ta see which one of 'em could break outta that low cut son of a bitch first. And she had on a leather skirt 'bout the size a my bandana, 'cept it was black leather, and shit man it just barely covered her ass, I mean, barely. And she had on them spike heels, you know the ones I mean, the come-fuck-me pumps."

That's when Daryl stopped to have a big ol' swallow outta his beer and Merle said, "Well fuck Baby Brother, sounds like yer describin' my Cindy."

Daryl couldn't help it, he blew beer right outta his nose, damn he was cacklin' and Merle was cacklin'. Well ya know, we love our boys, but they can be a royal pair of dumbasses sometimes.

Daryl finally caught his breath long enough ta say, "Fuck brother, that's just what I was a thinkin'." And then they both proceeded ta do some more cacklin', knee slappin', n high fivin'.

Then Merle got almost serious when he said, "Goddamn Baby Brother, I love that fuckin' woman. She's hotter'n a pistol, now go on with yer story."

And barkeep, he didn't miss a beat, he was takin' the empties n settin' down the fresh n frosty ones.

Daryl wiped the foam offa his upper lip and said, "Let's see, where was I? Oh yeah, so anyway, Mrs. Big Boss just goes a bustin' right in Big Bosses office, she starts yellin' at his ass like he's the lowest thing breathin' and she was accusin' him of all manner a fuckin' around with some hot young stuff. She accused him of payin' this other broads rent, the whole nine yards, and the language, holy fuck Merle, that ain't no way for a polite lady ta talk. She sounded like you n me." Okay, do I gotta tell ya they both started cacklin' again?

"So then Big Boss, he gets in on the action, and he starts accusin' her a bein' the bitch a the century and maybe if she wasn't ridin' his ass every fuckin' minute he wouldn't have had ta step out and find that sweet young piece."

That's when Merle said, "Wait just a fuckin minute, Big Boss actually copped to it and referred ta the side piece as his sweet young piece?"

"Brother, I think ya know me, I wouldn't even know how ta make that shit up. Okay so, just when I thought it couldn't get no better, damn if the Big Boss kids don't show up. Ya know, that hipster lookin' boy a their's 'bout 20 and that daughter who looks like she's been 'round, alot. She's about 17. Anyway, now they's all in that office and everyone is a screamin' and yellin', n I thought that was kinda inconsiderate cuz fuck, me and the boys couldn't tell who was accussin' who of what. But we sure as shit could hear the cussin'. It was like you on a full moon, drunken Saturday night." Okay, ya know the damn drill, that's right, major cacklin' ensued.

"Well then come the thing that made this the best fuckin' day I ever had at work, ever, shit, by a mile. Mrs. Big Boss, she reached back n she gave it all she had, she threw a haymaker right at Big Boss's left cheek, and then she give him the upper cut to the gut. Fuck Merle, I don't think this was her first fight. Then she took ta cryin', the girl she took ta cryin', Big Boss he just fell back in his chair, and Big Boss's boy yelled, "All y'all all are a pack of fuckin' losers!"

"Then Mrs. Big Boss, and the Big Boss kids came stormin' outta the office and Mrs. Big Boss didn't she just walk right on up ta Oscar and say, "If ya ever wanna try sumthin' different, you come around and see me.' Just like that. I thought ol' Oscar was gonna pass out. But even that, that ain't the best thing that happened at work."

"Well fuck Baby Brother, what is it then? Cuz I can't imagine nuthin' too much better than that right there, ya know, if we're talkin' 'bout workin' in a factory."

"Aww, its real good Merle. Caesar n Karen their celebratin' their anniversary on Saturday night and they invited us ta come n help, shit, I think they invited everyone in the shop and I'm sure Karen invited all them friends a hers, and the big ol' doin's are gonna be, that's right, at none other than the Hard Times Bar." And those brothers, didn't they high five each other? Hell yeah they did.

And ta think, Merle had been worried this Wednesday might not be any fun at all, ya know, when he saw Baby Brother wasn't miserable or nuthin', but shit, he was wrong, this was nuthin' but a good time.

xxxx

He walked in that door and there was his baby, standin' there at that stove makin' his supper and he was a thinkin' he was the luckiest sumbitch on this planet. His Beth, she was classy by gawd she wouldn't be a comin' ta his work n carryin' on n talkin' like that, no way, cuz she was his sweet baby. And so, a course, he come up behind her and stuck that hand up between her legs and give her a little hug right there where it counted. And he was a kissin' n suckin' on her neck and she turned around and said, "Now Daryl, you keep that up and I won't be able to get your supper on the table, or feed your son, or get him to bed, so we can finish what you're getting started here because frankly, you are making me lose my concentration and I am getting all kinds of feverish."

He leaned back just a little and he gave her a big smile and said ta her, "Baby, I'm so ready ta prove ta you just how much I love ya, n how hot I know ya are."

And she smiled at that man and she said, "Daryl Dixon you are the hottest man in the south, oh heck, probably the whole darn country. Now get that son of yours in his high chair, and let's get your boy fed and put to bed so you can prove all that to me." And she gave him that smile that just made him want her even more.

Over dinner, while he was feedin' his little man and he and the boy was talkin' nonsense ta each other, he sprung the news, "Guess what Baby. Caesar and Karen got their anniversary comin' up Saturday night and they're havin' a big doin's n they want us ta come. They're invitin' everyone they know, Merle n Cindy gonna be there too. Sounds fun, don't it?"

She looked at him cuz, well ya know, she knew there was maybe just a little sumthin' he wasn't tellin' her and she put it to the poor man. "What is it you're trying to avoid telling me Daryl? I know it's something." But she smiled, because she did love how cute he was when he was trying to slip something by.

And he looked down and he was chewin' that thumb, and he just said it, just like that, "Gonna be at the Hard Times Bar baby."

And guess what she did? She started ta laughin', which of course made lil ol' D.J. start ta laughin', and Daryl, hell, he was so relieved a little chuckle even came outta him.

"Oh my good Lord Daryl, do you think Abe will even let us all in after the last time? We were pretty troublesome," but she smiled when she said it, and he was thinkin', damn this baby a mine, she's the best.

Then she said ta him, "If you're feeling brave enough to take me Daryl Dixon, I'm brave enough to go, but you better hope to heaven no skanks think they can just grab what's mine." And there it was that ear ta ear smile that kicked his ass every time. And he wasn't sure if it was that, or the sassy attitude, or the fact that she had the best little heart, but he knew they was never ever gonna be like Big Boss and Mrs. Big Boss.

"Baby, I ain't never gonna have any want-to for anyone but you, ya know that." Then he looked at the little man, "D.J., ya got ta get yer little self ta bed cuz ya know why? Daddy needs ta show Mama how much he loves her, and that she's the prettiest, sweetest, and dang son, the hottest woman in the world, k? Otherwise, I'ma ruin yer life n give ya a little sister."

And that sweet baby a his started laughin' and she said, "Daryl, quit scaring the baby and quit scaring me."

First things first n all, so Daryl entertained the little man while His Beth, she cleaned the kitchen and what not cuz, ya know, she's the best woman on God's green earth n all. And when she was all done with that she give the boy a bath, got him in those foot pajama things that Daryl thought was the funniest fuckin' things he'd ever seen, well and also pretty damn cute, and then it was finally time for his story and ta put the little fella ta bed.

And ya know what the Dixons did then, yep, they headed straight to the playroom, well yeah, a course, I mean their bedroom.

They was tearin' each other's clothes off in a hurry, cuz let's face it, they'd been anticipatin' this for a while now, and they was both already hot just thinkin' 'bout how hot they was gonna be. And they was a kissin' n a pettin' n a suckin' n a nibblin', when she made that move, ya know the one by now, the one where she slids on over, lays her head down on his chest, starts her serious touchin' then slides that pretty little head down further, okay, I don't gotta tell ya, ya know, she looked up to him n said, "Daryl, you know what I was thinking would be a good idea?"

Well our boy he almost started ta laugh cuz, ya know, it never fuckin' fails. His sweet baby, when she wants sumthin', well she knows how ta get it. But he asked, "What's that sweet baby, what would be a good idea?"

"Well, I was thinking I should get a breast enlargement," and she smiled just as sweet as sugar.

And he slid his hands up under her and pulled her right up to him so they was face ta face, and he said, "Sorry Baby, that's one thing I ain't never gonna say yes to. I love them itty bitty titties, for hell sake girl, don't I show ya that every chance ya give me? Why ya wanna tamper with perfection sweet baby? Now come 'er and let me have a mouth full of 'em."

And he rolled her right over and he did show her how much he loved them titties, and then cuz, ya know, after all, she was gonna give him some special lovin' cuz she wanted sumthin' and all, so he was gonna give her some special lovin' cuz, well, he said no and he hated ta tell his sweet baby no, but dammit, he loved them fuckin' titties a hers. So he buried that head a his between her legs 'til she got ta where she was goin' and she was willin' ta do the same for him, even though he said No, but he had other ideas in mind. He wanted ta try out a couple new things, what the hell, they was already behavin' like they didn't do this stuff damn near every night. They proceeded ta do what they both did best, tear that bed up with some hardcore lovin'!

Then ya know what she said? Well, she looked at him n she said, "Thank you Daryl, you're the best husband ever, thank you for loving me just the way I am." And she give him the sweetest little kiss and he held her real tight and he said, "Cuz yer perfect sweet baby."

Well then didn't he ta tell her all about what happened with Big Boss, Mrs. Big Boss, n the Big Boss kids. 'Course his language wasn't quite as colorful as when he told it ta Merle, and a course he left out the part about Mrs. Big Bosses big ol' titties, but ya know, it's like I've told ya a bazillion times now, Daryl Dixon ain't a complete idiot.

She was appropriately shocked and horrified by the whole entire thing, and a course, they both was talkin' 'bout how they could never behave like that with one another on accounta them bein' the most loving couple on the planet and all. It just made 'em feel real sorry for everyone else.

xxxx

Daryl and Merle had decided ta go for broke and get rooms at that nice little hotel just about three blocks from the Hard Times Bar. What the hell? It's only money, right? And the ladies, they was thrilled. And our man D.J., he was thrilled cuz he was spendin' the night with Grandma n Grandpa Greene and ya know what that means don't ya? That's right, grandma would be givin' him n grandpa big ol' bowls a vanilla ice cream!

So, Daryl, he didn't have ta worry 'bout what he was wearin' to the party, cuz a course His Beth, she already had it laid out there on the hotel bed n all, and a course, yeah, yeah, y'all know, it was them black jeans, that white dress shirt, the black motorcycle boots and the black leather vest with the angel wings on the back. He wore this set a clothes ta every damn event they went to, he'd started ta think of it as his party uniform. I mean, not that he gave a fuck, it made her happy n that's all he really cared about.

The other thing his sweet baby liked was for him ta shower and wash his hair, ya know, like on the regular n all. Now he'd never been one ta care for that cleanliness stuff all that much but it seemed ta be mighty important ta her, and Merle had told him them ladies don't like it when yer smelly n greasy. So much for the natural look.

But hey, there was even a bright side ta that cuz they was in a hotel, D.J. was at Grandma n Grandpas, and they was gonna take a shower tagether. Those were the only kinda showers he really liked. He was as happy as a pig in clover.

They met up with Merle n Cindy down in the lobby, course them gals had ta oooh and aaah over how cute the other one looked so then a course that dumbass Merle he looked at him n he said, "Damn Baby Brother, I ain't never seen ya look more adorable." And he commenced ta cackin' like a damn banshee and Daryl had ta slug him real hard in the arm ta shut him the fuck up. Merle was rubbin' that spot on his arm and he said, "Shit Baby Brother, ya need ta learn ta accept a compliment."

And the evenin' was off ta the perfect start. And they walked the three blocks down ta the Hard Times and Daryl, ya know, he had tremendous admiration for Cindy cuz he could not figure out how the fuck she walked in them damn shoes at all. Hell, he couldn't figure out how she even stood in 'em. He was thinkin', I bet Cindy and Mrs. Big boss shop at the same store.

Now his Beth, she had on them jeans that are so tight he ain't sure how she wiggles her sweet little ass into 'em, and a pair a tight fittin' black leather boots that came up just below her knees, and a real pretty kinda fuzzy pink sweater and damn, he wanted ta take her right there on the sidewalk, but ya know, he was a gentleman n all.

They walked in the Hard Times and the joint was a jumpin'. The gang was all there and the Dixons walked right on up ta the bar, Abe nodded and he said, "Boys n Girls, let's all try ta have us a real good time tonight, no misbehavin', alright? I don't want nobody hurt. Took my Rosita a week ta heal up from the last time."

And Daryl saw his Sweet Baby turn bright red, but she said, "Yes Abe, sorry." And Daryl, he just give her ass cheek a friendly little squeeze, ya know, ta let her know he loves her n all.

The brothers, well ya know 'em by now, they was havin' shooters of Jack, washin' that down with some frosty ones, and Cindy, she was all up in the Fireball and Dr. Pepper, but His Beth, she was tryin' hard ta maintain some decorum so she was drinkin' wine, ya know the one, it comes in a big ol' box.

All a them Dixons they was playin' a little touchy feely when they thought no one was a lookin', course someone's always a lookin', but whatever. Anyway, they was havin' real big fun, and they went around n they said 'Hey' ta everyone, wished Caesar n Karen a real Happy Anniversary and all. Merle was shootin' the breeze with Oscar and a course when Oscar's woman, Ruby, went ta powder her nose n all, Merle had ta give him a little ration, "Hey big guy, I hear ya been offered a little side taste."

Damn, Merle thought Oscar might deck him right there, luckily, they decided ta arm wrestle instead cuz, ya know, neither one of em was quite done partyin' so they didn't want Abe throwin' them out. Anyway, Oscar won, then Merle won, then they quit, cuz ya know, that was probably best.

Daryl, he was playin' pool with His Beth, and holy shit, when that sweet little thing bent over ta try and shoot that eight ball in the corner pocket, and she was stretched all kinda diagonal across that pool table, well that there, that was hot. Her sweet little ass looked ripe. He was one lucky sumbitch and he knew it.

But that there, that can be the trouble with havin' yerself a Sweet Little Woman like His Beth. Ya know, if yer admiring that tight little ass you can just bet yer ass, ya ain't the only one who's building up some heat ta get with that woman.

Fuck a duck if it didn't happen, well ya know, I know all y'all seen it comin', seriously, how the fuck could it be avoided? If them Dixons was all bein' just a tiny bit honest with their selves, they woulda admitted that there was a excellent likelihood that there was gonna be trouble, ya know at some point in the evenin', and hell, they were four hours into some real serious imbibing of spirits and what not, and I can't remember them eatin' any kinda dinner, can you?

Okay, so here's how it all went down. His Beth was slippin' them quarters in the slot, and she was gonna be retrievin' them balls and rackin' 'em up and all, cuz she'd lost and Daryl, he was at the bar ta get her another wine, and his own self a shot of Jack n a Frosty One, when in walks a crowd of rough lookin' fellas, big boys, looked like they was a lookin' for trouble, and a course the bar was packed. So Daryl was standin' there waitin' on his adult beverages when one a these big nasty fellas, he went right over there ta where his sweet baby Beth was just now leanin' over the pool table straightenin' out that rack a balls, and that mutherfuckin' asshole stuck his filthy fuckin' hand right between her legs and grabbed that part a her that was exclusively for the pleasure of Daryl Dixon.

He was over there in a heartbeat kids, I mean it wasn't no more than a giant leap and he grabbed that sumbitch, spun him around and hit him with every ounce of rage, adrenaline and anger he had. An the sumbitch flew back into Rosita who was carryin' a tray a cocktails over ta Caesar and the fellas, and that brought Abe a flyin' over cross the top a that bar and I'm tellin' ya boys n girls, in the time it takes ta say Hard Times Bar, the whole fuckin' place had turned inta one big fight.

Now our ladies, they stayed the hell outta this one. This was the boys' show. Beth had grabbed up Rosita by the arm, Karen had her other arm and all the women, they run behind the bar, which may not have been 100% safe, but it was the safest place in the joint.

Damn, I wish ya coulda seen it. It was like someone had fired a nuclear weapon into the joint and it was packed full a testosterone and male ego. Fists were a flyin', beer bottles were a flyin', chairs were a flyin', heads were a crackin'. Rosita, she let all them boys get it outta their systems for a few minutes, cuz really, them ladies was all gettin' a little kick outta watchin' their men bein' all like cavemen n all.

But once it seemed there was enough damage to the bar and the men she put that national Anthem on just as loud as it would go. A course, everyone stopped what they was a doin', faced that flag andn sang right along. Cuz kids, this is America, Land a the Free, Home a the Brave, n all.

She handed Abe that shotgun that was stashed there behind the bar, and he run those strangers on outta there.

Daryl, he reached in his pocket, got out a couple a 100 dollar bills and he handed 'em ta Abe and said, "Sorry, I had ta do it, the guy touched my woman like only I'm allowed ta do. Lemme know if ya need more for the damages."

Abe, now this wasn't his first dance and he just nodded his head and said, "Hey man, I'd have done the same."

His Beth came to him and she hugged on him, and he picked her up, just like the damn caveman he was bein', and he threw her right on over his shoulder. His hand was tight on that sweet little ass that, dammit, belonged ta him. He stopped and wished Caesar and Karen a real Happy Anniversary again, and thanked 'em for the party and all, and then he was out the door on this way ta that hotel with his Sweet Baby.

Now Merle, he had 10 years on Daryl, and Cindy, well she probably had 50 pounds on Beth. So big brother didn't carry his wife, he just held her in close ta the side of him and followed the other Dixons back.

And if ya think Beth didn't know what she was in for when they got back ta the room, then ya ain't really been payin' attention to the story. Sheesh

The night desk clerk gave him a funny look when he walked in the lobby with her, but at this point Daryl couldn't give a fuck less, well ya know, he just had that one thing on his mind.

They got in that room and he put her down on the bed and ripped her clothes offa her like they was on fire, and then he ripped his own clothes off and then he proceeded ta show her that, beyond all reasonable doubt, she was his woman and not anyone else's woman, not ever. And His Sweet Little Beth? Ah c'mon, she was lovin' every damn bit a that Dixon love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the way it happened, ya can't make this stuff up! I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading, please comment, and remember, I love ya large! xo


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to show y'all how much I appreciate you, how 'bout I take ya down ta that little ol' tavern and we see what those Dixon boys are up to? It's Wednesday night!

Let's see, what night is this? Oh yeah! It's Wednesday! Now c'mon, all y'all know what that means, yeehaw! Let's head on down to that nasty little old tavern, ya know the one, the one that shoulda been burned down 'bout 30 years ago. My gawd, have ya been in there lately? Smells like a damn herd a zombies are livin' there. But hey now, the good news is the beers are cold and they're cheap, and barkeep don't ask no questions, he just keeps the frosty ones a comin' 'til ya ask him ta stop.

Merle walked in and saw Baby Brother settin' there with a brown bottle in front a him. Ah and the boy looked fuckin' miserable. Merle hated to admit it, but damn, these were always the best Wednesday nights at the tavern, when baby brother was all kinda gloomy cuz little ballbuster was crackin' the whip 'bout one thing or another.

So Merle sat right down and quick as that, barkeep set a frosty one down in front a him. "What's up brother, Beth twistin' yer balls 'bout sumthin'?"

Baby Brother just shook that head side ta side and he said, "Nah, brother, she's my Sweet Baby, but me n her we got us a big damn problem. All my fault too, I screwed the pooch on this one. Got no one ta blame but myself. I done this."

Okay, now that dumbass Merle was practically a droolin' ta know what the fuck this here was all about. "Well now Brother, what the fuck, what could ya have done that's so bad?" Maybe he wasn't the only dumbass in the family after all!

"You remember the big night at the Hard Times, I was protectin' my Sweet Baby from that mutherfucker ( _don't doubt for one minute right here kids, that barkeep's ears ain't all kinda perked up. I mean shit, he's seen Sweet Baby Beth, he wanted ta hear this story as much as Merle did, but ya know, barkeep, he's a professional, keeps it discreet n all_ ), well, ya know, I was hot in more ways than one after the big fight. I took my baby up there ta that room and I threw her down on that bed, and damn brother, ya know I had ta show her I was the only man she's ever gonna need, that I could kick any mutherfucker's ass that dared ta touch her, that I could take her and make her a happy, satisfied woman. It's my job, bein's how I'm her lovin' husband n all, right?"

"Well sure, sounds right ta me Baby Brother, so what's the problem, couldn't get it up?"

"Fuck you Merle, 'course I got it up. I ain't never had no trouble like that with my Baby, nah, the problem wa, I didn't cover the bad boy up, didn't protect my Baby. Then we done it all again first thing in the mornin' and I didn't wear no raincoat that time either."

I swear I ain't lyin', right then everyone in the tavern was a shakin' their head side ta side cuz they was all rememberin' the last time he got his Sweet Baby in the family way. Now grant ya, it was entertainin' as all get out the way Young Dixon had behaved, but there wasn't anyone who thought he'd live through it twice.

"Well is she?" That was all Merle asked.

"Don't know, she said if sumthin' don't happen by Friday, she's gonna buy one a them tests, see for sure. Dammit, it's my own fuckin' fault. We'd already had us a talk 'bout this, we already agreed, for now we was just stickin' with D.J., wasn't ready for no more babies. Maybe might never have another one. It's my job ta keep the bad boy from causin' this kinda trouble. Shit brother."

And Merle was bitin' the inside a his cheek hard cuz, well ya know, as much as he loves Baby Brother n all, well, this shit here, it was kinda funny ta him cuz, ya know, I ain't gotta tell ya, Merle's a dumbass. He knows it too.

About then barkeep set down two more frosty ones, Daryl looked at him and said, "This here's my last one tonight." Barkeep just nodded, ya know, on account a he's a professional n all so he don't argue such things.

Then Merle, who occasionally does try ta smooth things over for Baby Brother, asked him, "Would it really be the end a the world Baby Brother? I mean, ya know, Little Ballbuster she's a real good Mama n all, n ya got ya a real good little fella there when D.J. come along. Maybe y'all are gonna get lucky again."

It was right then everyone in the tavern took a big swallow a their beer, I swear, it was like a synchronized swimmin' move or sumthin', but ya know they was all just dyin' ta know what Young Dixon would answer ta that.

"Yeah, yeah, easy for you ta say. If ya think it such a fuckin' dandy idea brother, why ain't you n Cindy had ya no babies?"

This was gettin' good and everyone took another quick swallow.

"Well I ain't a 100% opposed ta the idea or nuthin', but my Cindy, well she's always sayin', ya know, she don't wanna get pregnant n ruin her figure." Then them brothers both started ta cacklin', cuz ya know, it's like I been tellin' ya all along, they're both capable a bein' dumbasses. Course everyone else in the bar was smart enough ta bite their damn tongue. No one wanted Merle Dixon kickin' their ass.

Then Merle, he got all serious like he does about his Cindy, and he said, "Gawtdamn I love that big ol' soft body a hers, nuthin' more warm and welcomin' than that. And that woman a mine, damn, she knows how ta use it. I love every ounce of my Cindy."

xxxx

Daryl did feel a little better when he walked in his front door. Little ol' D.J. was a playin' with his trucks on the livin' room floor and watchin' Yo Gabba Gabba on the TV. Daryl could not figure how anyone could watch that shit, but hey, little man liked it.

Then he stepped in the kitchen and his Sweet Baby was a standin' there at the stove, ya know how he is, he couldn't help himself. And well, ya know, she kinda liked that he couldn't help himself. He come up behind her just like he did every single night, and he slid that hand up her leg right ta that special place in between, which by gawd was just his ta touch, and dammit, maybe where the current trouble began.

And he kissed her there on the neck, and okay, maybe he sucked on it just a bit. Then he was just nibblin' a little at her ear, and fuck almighty, Sweet Baby started ta cry. Aww, fuck, now what the hell?

"Beth, Baby whatsa matter, what happened, girl, did I do sumthin' wrong?" Daryl ALWAYS assumed shit was his fault.

"No, it wasn't you, it's just, well, I started today."

"Ya started what?" Oh shit, then he realized. "Well Baby, I thought ya didn't wanna be pregnant so why ya cryin', what can I do ta make ya feel better?" He couldn't take it when his Sweet Baby cried.

She turned around and put her arms around his waist and her head on his chest and she said, "Well I guess I'd gotten myself all worked up into the idea, and I was starting to think it might be fun to have another baby. I started making plans and stuff. So now I guess I'm just having a little breakdown about it."

"Ah Sweet Baby, I'm sorry. Ya wanna make a baby? If ya wanna, we'll do that. Ya know I always wanna make ya happy girl, always. All ya gotta do is tell yer lovin' husband what ya want, I'ma do my best ta see ya have it." And he held her tight and he rubbed and squeezed on her ass cuz, well ya know, they both like that.

"Oh Daryl, you're the best husband ever. I'm so confused right now I don't know what I want. I'll think about it for a month or so, okay?" And she squeezed and rubbed his ass cuz, well ya know, they both like that too.

"Sure Baby, and a little later on, ya know, maybe we can practice how ta make them babies." And he smiled at her and then, well ya know, he couldn't resist and that hand just kinda naturally wanted ta go right there between her legs. He was rubbin' there, ya know, just ta make her happy n all, and they was both enjoyin' that, when little ol' D.J. come a toddlin' into the kitchen n said, "Hungee Mama."

Daryl just smiled down at little man, tickled the boy's side n told him, "Ya done ruined a real nice moment there boy. I'ma be payin' ya back someday, ya best count on that." And little man he just laughed n clapped cuz, ya know, he's the happiest little fella ya ever did see. Must be them awesome parents a his.

She'd made him one a his favorites for dinner, stuffed pork chops, extra cornbread dressing and plenty of gravy. She was just barely nibbling at it, she don't eat much, but him and his man D.J., they was puttin' it right down.

She smiled over at him and asked, "Daryl, we should we have a party, you know, just to get our minds off things. We could do it maybe a week from Saturday. Have the guys from work, just like you've wanted to, and of course, Merle and Cindy and Glenn and Maggie and Abe and Rosita. I'll ask Mama and Daddy if D.J. can spend the night with them that night, does that sound okay?"

And he was just about to shovel in that big ol' bite a dressin' and he said, "That sounds just right Sweet Baby, ya plan that any way ya want. If ya want me ta cook up food I can do that for ya, ya know I will. This here dinner is perfect Baby." And he looked over at little man, "Ain't that good son? Yer Mama's the best cook in the world and we're damn lucky ta have her takin' care a us. Don't ya ever forget it."

A course I don't have ta tell ya, D.J. he just laughed n clapped. Happiest baby in the world that boy is.

Well, ya know, Daryl ain't much help around the house there, that's one a the reasons why he don't want her ta work n stuff. He figures it's a full time job takin' care a him and D.J. Does he think he's an asshole? Hell yeah, he knows he's an asshole. But ya know what? He's happy, she's happy and little ol' D.J., why he's happier than a pig in mud.

So while she cleaned the kitchen he played trucks with little man and watched sumthin' called Rescue Pets, which made Yo Gabba Gabba seem like that Shakespeare stuff.

Then she took D.J. for his bath. She was obsessed with theses fuckin' baths I tell ya. She made him and D.J. take a damn bath every fuckin' day. D.J. seemed okay with that. Only time Daryl liked it was if she was a takin' one with him.

Then it was story time, Daryl he loved story time as much as D.J. Listenin' ta Sweet Baby read them stories was real pleasin' ta both a them. Then little man, he went ta bed.

They was just barely outta little man's room when they was all over each other. Damn if she didn't wanna take a shower, but ya know, he was okay with that cuz they'd be all like helpin' each other wash important parts n whatnot. Never did bother him when it was "that time a the month", that was just part a her bein' a woman and her bein' a woman was a huge part a why he was interested in the first damn place. Sheesh people.

So anyways, y'all know how they are, the two a them always actin' like they haven't had any in a month a Sundays when truth is, they was just doin' this same shit last night, and the night before that, and so on.

xxxx

She had been workin' on that party and he didn't have no doubt it was gonna be a doozie. Mama Greene, she'd come and got little man and they was off ta have nuthin' but a big time over there on the farm. Plus, c'mon, ya know this, Saturday night means vanilla ice cream with Grandpa.

Ain't one guy from his work said they couldn't come. Now he'd, a course, had ta invite Big Boss, cuz shit, ya know good n goddamn well he was gonna find out about the party. So ya know, it had ta happen. He and the boys they had 'em a little side bet goin' on about who he'd be bringin', Mrs. Big Boss or the Hot Honey.

The other one they was all makin' book on was Axel. Ya know, that guy, seemed like he could never keep a woman longer than a week. But he'd been in some kinda deal with a gal for like three or four months, ain't no one seen her yet and they was all curious as all get out. If anyone ever tells ya men don't gossip, they're a fuckin' liar.

Now his sweet baby, she didn't want him ta have ta cook at the party so Baby, Maggie and Mama Greene had fried up one gajillion pieces a chicken and there was a gimongus amount of mac n cheese and all manner a other delicious food items.

Daryl had bought enough of every kinda alcoholic beverage, times two, that anyone could ever want or need.

In other words kids, this party was gonna be all manner a large fun.

Now, just like you'd think, cuz I know ya know what's what, ya been knowing this group awhile now, Merle n Cindy arrived first and hot on their trail were Maggie and Glenn.

Oscar n Ruby arrived and they all knew poor old Oscar, he had a bad case a the nerves about Mrs. Big Boss, specially since he ain't said one damn word ta Ruby about what Mrs. Big Boss said ta him. He didn't want nuthin' ta fuck up this thing he had goin' on with Ruby cuz, well ya know, he didn't want her ta decide it was his fault n cut him right off from that sweet lovin' she had ta give.

'Course Caesar n Karen, they arrived lookin' all put together n like a couple teenagers in love. Now pay attention there kids, cuz there's yer example a long term love.

Things got interestin' for a minute when Abe n Rosita showed up. Oh my sweet Lord I wish y'all could have seen Abe! He was wearin' them short swim trunks and a tank top and sandals with, that's right, white socks. Now Rosita, she looked hot like the woman always does. She had on a cute little beach cover-up type of dress, and some fancy sandals all kinds of adorned with seashells n whatnot. Why the hell don't she dress Abe better?

Well, whatever, I can't be concernin' myself with that. So anyway, Daryl and his Sweet Baby are standin' there by the side a the pool and Abe n Rosita come right up and everyone says "Hello" and Daryl n Abe they shake hands, n Beth n Rosita give each other a hug. And then doesn't Abe just open his mouth and say ta Daryl, "We're gonna try not ta go all Dixon on ya and start a fight." And doesn't Rosita just push that big ol' redhead right in the swimmin' pool, white socks n all. Then she just sashays herself over ta the fancy outdoor bar n gets herself a Pina Colada.

Abe was a kissin' her ass the rest a the day n evenin' cuz, ya know, whether he wants ta admit it or not, the woman is carryin' his balls around in her handbag.

Well don't ya know, all the gang was a showin' up, them and their women. Daryl, he just loved that his sweet baby thought a doin' this party and put all this work into it, cuz well, all y'all know, ain't nuthin' a Dixon loves more than a good party, well, except a course a whole lotta good lovin.

So everyone was a drinkin' n eatin' chicken and all manner of other delicious snacks and clothes was a startin' ta come off and guests was startin' ta jump in that pool. His sweet baby was in that tiny little flowered bikini and he might a been a little worried about that except she wasn't leavin' his side, and she had her hand on his ass, and he had his hand on her ass, and he may have had one little wayward finger down in the back a that tiny little bikini bottom, but that there? That's a story for another day boys n girls.

So just guess who shows up then. Ya don't know, do ya? Okay, I'ma tell ya, it was Axel, and Axel had his woman with him and he was introducin' her 'round. Everyone was all happy ta meet her n stuff, but guess what kids, I know, ya can't even imagine this, but his woman? It was Dr. Carol. Well Beth n Daryl, they was speechless, specially Daryl cuz, ya know, he couldn't imagine a woman like Dr. Carol wantin' ta keep company with a less educated man. Not that there was one fuckin' thing wrong with Axel, he was a real stand up kinda guy, it was just that Daryl, he always thought them over educated people only wanted ta mingle with other over educated people. See there? Ya learn sumthin' new every day.

So y'all know how things can get when the gang is all enjoyin' copious amounts of adult beverages and the weather is hot, and the pool is cool, and women are wearin' suits that ain't coverin' up too much a nuthin'. So what I'm gettin' at here is every one was havin' a big time.

Abe he was a walkin' round in the pool with Rosita on his shoulders and she was a drinkin' them Pina Coladas and he was drinking beer, and the way he had that one big ol' hand wrapped 'round behind his head, with a tight squeeze on her ass, they both looked real happy.

Now Oscar's woman, Ruby, she don't know how ta swim a lick, well so, she had her legs wrapped 'round Oscar's waist, n her arms wrapped around his neck and he had his hands holdin' firm ta the low of her back. Oscar, he's a big man with big love for his woman.

But what was amusin' and confusin' Daryl n Beth more than anythin' else happenin' was the way Dr. Carol just seemed ta be all lovin' on Axel, like he was the end all n be all of men. He was gettin' a little handsy, ya know, when he thought no one was a lookin', but shit, like I told ya before, someone's always lookin'. Thing was though, the doc didn't seem ta mind even one little bit.

When they kinda disappeared out in the woods together for a while wasn't no doubt in any Dixon mind what was happenin'.

So, ya know, the party, it had been in full swing for, hell, musta been a couple or three hours when guess who comes a walkin' in? Okay, I ain't gonna make ya guess. It was Big Boss and he was with Mrs. Big Boss. Well now, that ain't the big news, there was two things that was the really big news and those two things were Mrs. Big Boss's titties. Now, grant ya, she'd already had a large set goin' on, but it seems in the few weeks since they all seen her at the shop she'd had them titties enlarged. Ya ain't never seen nuthin' like it kids, I ain't lyin', it was like she had a set a big pink torpedoes on her chest.

And damn, she wasn't wearin' a whole lot either. She had a tiny little bikini, it wasn't just too small, damn thing was maybe, just maybe, designed ta be worn by a slightly younger woman than Mrs. Big Boss. She had on a tiny little beach cover-up, but she may as wella left that sucker home cuz it was see through n didn't even cover down ta her ass anyways. Just ta complete her look she had on a pair a spike heels that would rival any pair ol' Cindy might own.

So now, don't the two a them walk on inta the backyard, and don't Mrs. Big Boss waltz right over ta Oscar, practically shove them big ol' torpedo titties in his face and say, "That offer's still good Oscar." Damn, poor ol' Oscar, his eyes got the size a saucers, and I swear he started ta sweat. Thank God his Ruby had been powderin' her nose, but then she come out, and damn, she saw Mrs. Big Boss talkin' ta her man, didn't sweet Ruby go right on up ta Oscar, wrap her arms 'round his neck, grab the back of his head n pull him down into a kiss that was hotter than fuck. I ain't lyin'. Oscar had ta adjust his swim trunks after that. Then she just steps back and innocently looks from Oscar ta Mrs. Big Boss n says, "Oscar, Baby, are ya gonna introduce me ta your friend?" In the meantime, y'all can bet Ruby's arm is tight around her big man, she ain't leavin' no doubt he is off limits. Now I don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm bettin' someone filled Ruby in on what Mrs. Big Boss had said ta Oscar that day.

So now, after they say their 'Hellos' Mrs. Big Boss goes over n spreads her towel down on one a them chaise lounges. She lays down on her belly and she unties those strings on that minuscule bikini top. Now Big Boss, he rubs some kinda oil all over her back and the back a her legs, and ain't no one there that didn't see him cop a feel.

Then Big Boss goes over ta the bar n he gets hisself n Mrs. Big Boss each giant plastic Pineapple cups and don't he fill 'em full a ice cubes and don't he make them each a Mai Tai and then don't he walk back over ta where she's layin'. With one a them Mai Tai's in each of his hands don't he catch his toe on the leg a his lounge chair, nearly fall completely forward and dump both a them icy beverages all over Mrs. Big Boss's ass and back. Yep, that's just what happened.

Now Mrs. Big Boss, she flies right up offa that lounge, and a course that tiny little bikini top, it hits the ground, and them big ol' nekked pink torpedoes are just stickin' right out there for the world ta see, and don't she just have her hands on her hips, and don't she just start yellin' at Big Boss and callin' him every manner of ugly name a man never wants ta be called.

It seemed kinda odd cuz, ya know, most a the fellas, they'd woulda tried ta cover up their woman. They wouldn't a wanted no one ta see their woman's nekked titties besides their ownselves. But Big Boss, he just stood there in front of her while she yelled at him and chewed his ass up, like he was liking it.

Now none a the other fellas seen that part, cuz ya know, these here boys, they may not be over-educated but they also ain't complete fuckin' idiots, sheesh. None a them was interested in gettin' cut off at home. So they'd all just taken one good look, then turned themselves 'round n just looked at their wives, ya know, like they only had eyes for them an all.

Things calmed down and the party got back in full swing, and now there really started ta be a lotta serious touchy feely goin' on and all manner a couples were sneakin' off inta the woods. Why the party didn't shut down 'til just about midnight. Who has a 12 hour party?! The Dixons, that's who!

There were a number of a agin' parents and surly teenagers and even a few cab drivers who were pickin' up the party goers and takin' 'em on home. There wasn't a one of 'em who didn't say it was the best party they ever been to. Even Mrs. Big Boss.

Now Daryl, he'd been the perfect host all fuckin' day, even though there was nuthin' the man wanted more than ta lay down that Sweet Baby and show her how much he loved her, he'd resisted. But now he grabbed her up n carried her sweet little tight ass inta that bedroom a theirs and they practically broke the fuckin' bed cuz they had so much damn stored up love ta give each other. And a course, they was tellin' each other about how they was the best couple ever, how they throw the best parties in the whole fuckin' solar system, and he was tellin' his sweet baby how she had the best, the tightest, the sexiest body in the universe, and she was a tell' him how he was the best damn lover any woman had ever had and she was so lucky it was her and only her he wanted ta love.

In the meantime, Merle n Cindy, and Maggie n Glenn was in the livin' room and Merle just kept crankin' up the stereo so they wouldn't all have ta listen ta that bullshit.

Okay, but that ain't why I'm here, that ain't what I come here ta tell ya, no kids, that ain't it.

Here's how it all unfolded…Daryl n Beth they come outta the bedroom in the mornin'. Daryl fixed every one a them one a his can't-be-beat Bloody Mary's. Then didn't Cindy say, "No thanks, I'm not drinkin'." And didn't Daryl say, "Since when did ya ever turn down one a my Bloodies Cindy?"

And that's when Merle took him a deep swallow a air and said, "My Cindy's in the family way."

That damn night at the Hard Times Bar, all a that hard fightin' and hard lovin', well ya know, Daryl wasn't the only one forgot ta wear his raincoat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I didn't make it up, ya can't make this stuff up. Thanks for reading, please comment. Love ya large! xo gneebee


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say it was Wednesday Night? Let's go kids, they'll be here any minute!

Ya almost forgot didn't ya? Well thank the Good Lord ya got me ta remind ya - it's Wednesday night! I know all y'all know what that means, it's practically time for those Dixon Brothers ta show up at that nasty little drinkin' establishment over there in the seediest part a town. I know ya know the one, don't bother tryin' ta pretend ya never been there. At one time or another damn near everyone in the county, well except most a the women, has stumbled into the Mad Dawg for a frosty one.

Just cuz it stinks like dead fish have been smokin' cigars in the joint, well that don't make it all bad. Why? Ya know why, the beers are cold and they're cheap, and barkeep, he just keeps 'em comin' 'til ya tell him ta quit, or ya run outta money, whichever comes first.

So anyway, ever since Older Dixon got that sassy lookin' wife a his all knocked up, 'bout four months ago, Young Dixon has definitely turned the tables on him. He's been havin' hisself a real good laugh at ol' Merle's expense. Why Merle ain't even hardly got the energy ta say a "Fuck you Baby Brother," ta Young Dixon.

So anyway, back ta the story. Y'all know how easy I get distracted, so Daryl, he was a little late leavin' the factory cuz Big Boss had ta talk ta him 'bout a couple things, one of 'em bein' a big new contract they just landed, yep, more jets going out the door, more money in everyone's pocket. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that right there.

Oscar, ah yes Oscar, he had a little news for Daryl and the boys too. Why when Young Dixon come walkin' in the tavern, n I don't think we need ta discuss that walk a his do we? Damn. Okay, so anyway, when he walked in there Ol Merle he was already at the bar with a half empty brown bottle in front a him. Daryl barely got his ass, and a fine ass it is, on the bar stool before barkeep had a frosty one in front a him.

"What's up Big Brother? Oh yeah, never mind, I remember, Cindy called my Sweet Baby and told her she put yer balls in a jar in the back a the fridge, said she don't plan on givin' 'em back to ya any time soon." I swear I ain't kiddin' ya one bit when I tell ya, Daryl cackled.

Well what I ain't gotta tell ya is, everyone in the bar was lovin' this shit right here, cuz there was not a one of 'em that at one time or another hadn't been on the receivin' end a some smart ass shit comin' outta Merle's big mouth. Thing was, there wasn't one a them foolish enough ta give him any shit back, n well, ya know, risk the ass kickin' of a lifetime. So what I'm tellin' you is, they was all feelin' special gratitude and deep admiration for Daryl Dixon. He was the only man alive willin' ta give a ration a shit ta Merle Dixon, and damn if he didn't smile when he done it!

They was all on the edge a their seat waitin', and ya know, undoubtedly hopin' Merle'd take a swing at Daryl, just for shits n giggles, and everyone took a big swallow in anticipation.

But damn the luck, that ain't what happen, Ol Merle he just looked all kinds a down n out and he said, "If that woman don't quit pukin' soon I don't know what I'ma do brother. I know she's sufferin' n all, but she don't care that I'm sufferin' right along with her. I can hardly keep my own damn breakfast down."

Guess what Young Dixon did then, ya can't, can ya? Okay then, I'ma tell ya and ya ain't gonna hardly be able ta believe it, but I ain't lyin', really, he done it, he started laughin' and I mean laughin' hard, ain't nobody that knows Young Dixon that don't also know he don't laugh out loud, much less laugh hardy. "Merle yer a fuckin' dumbass, I swear, ya ain't got the sense you was born with. Nuthin' 'bout you matters no more, ya done yer part, ya ruined her life cuz yer the mutherfucker that went n knocked her up and caused every problem she had, has, or might have. Yer the most worthless piece a shit on this earth brother. Yer just gonna have ta learn ta accept it."

Everyone, includin' the brothers, nodded and took a long pull from their brown bottle.

Then Daryl, he clapped his brother on the back and said, "I do have more'n one item of interestin' news I could share with ya, these things, well they might temporarily take yer mind offa the terrible facts a yer current life, ya know, like ya ain't got no balls, and yer woman is pukin' up her guts on the regular, and yer the no good rotten sumbitch responsible. So, ya wanna hear?" Yep, there wasn't n ear in the joint that wasn't perked up andn listenin' now, includin' barkeeps. Everyone took themselves a long refreshin' swallow.

"Fuck yeah I wanna hear, what's up Little Brother?" Poor Ol Merle, he was needin' a distraction.

"Well, Oscar, he told us all today we're invited ta his weddin', thing is, the weddin' is Saturday, cuz guess what? Ruby give him a ultimatum. Seems Ruby got tired a him just enjoyin' all that sweet luvin' she was givin' him, and I s'pose he was givin' her, but what he wasn't givin' her was a weddin' ring. So guess what she told him? She told him she was gonna run his ass off, get her a new man, a man who appreciated her enough ta make the big commitment. She told him he could just go on ahead and go fuck hisself. Well Oscar, ya know he loves that woman, hell everyone's known that for a long time, shit they been shacked up five years. I guess he thought it was all good how it was, she thinks they need paperwork ta prove their love. It's what ya call a little difference of opinion. Anyway, Oscar don't want ta lose his Ruby, so he has decided to see things her way. So the weddin' is Saturday, 6:00 in the evenin' at her Mama's place, followed by cake n punch. But after we all make nice for Mama, guess what? Party at Oscar and Ruby's place. Oh, yeah, and he wants you n Cindy ta come."

"Sounds real good, I'm sure Cindy will be glad ta get outta the house. I just hope she don't puke on anyone." And Merle and Daryl both started ta cacklin' then cuz, I know all y'all know, they're a pair a dumbasses. "What else ya got ta cheer me up Little Brother?" I don't think I gotta even tell ya, all ears perked, and everyone took a little pull on the bottle.

"Well I can't even get this, it's the weirdest fuckin' thing goin', but Big Boss got us in a little meetin' and said we're all goin' ta be happy to attend a function next month, ya know, like we ain't got no choice, like it's a duty n all. Anyway, I guess it's real important ta Mrs. Big Boss that we all go and 'ooo n ahhh' n a buncha shit like that, cuz guess what? Go on Merle, try n guess, I'll bet ya a case a beer, ya can't."

"Fuck brother, I got no idea what ya even just said, just spit it out for crissake, I'ma have ta go home sooner or later." Geez Merle, ya lose yer damn sense a humor?

"Yer a dumbass Merle. But I'ma tell ya cuz why the fuck not? Ya got enough problems, what with havin' no balls n whatnot. So as I was tryin' ta tell ya, he told us we all got ta spend a Saturday evenin' goin' to a big blow out for him n Mrs. Big Boss, gonna be at that fake church place, ya know, that big ol' flashy weddin' chapel joint they built offa Fifth Street? There's a big ass reception hall there too. So anyway, Big Boss n Mrs. Big Boss are gonna have a ceremony, just like they're gettin' married, but it's called a vow renewal."

Now lemme just pause right here boys n girls andshare with ya the fact that the boys down at the Mad Dawg was all lookin' every kinda confused, apparently vow renewal ain't a popular activity among the clientele.

Now as Daryl was sayin', "So they're gonna be doin' this thing it's gonna be just like a weddin', but it ain't a weddin', cuz, a course, they're already married. Then there's gonna be a big ol' party after in that hall, just like a weddin' reception. There'll be food n booze n music, the entire nine yards. And here's the damn icin' on the cake, Big Boss is payin' us all overtime ta be there, ya know, just so Mrs. Big Boss is happy with the turn out n all the support as her and Big Boss prove ta all of us how much they love each other n whatnot. Oh, and you n Cindy are invited too, but he ain't payin' ya."

Merle, why he was a laughin' out loud for the first time in a long time, and he kinda put a voice ta what everyone was thinkin' when he said, "So, we got these married people, they're constantly fuckin' 'round on each other, and now they're gonna spend a shitload a money ta prove to us dumbasses, who take our luvin' where we're s'posed to, and they're gonna prove ta us how much they love each other by puttin' on a big fake weddin' and gettin' drunk – is that what we're sayin' here?"

"Well, ya, but when ya say it like that ya take all the romance right outta that shit." Oh yeah, ya know it, I knew ya did, the brothers was a cacklin' ta beat all.

xxxx

Why Daryl was feelin' damn near chipper when he walked in that front door and there was little ol' D.J., playin' with them trucks and there was a episode a sumthin' called Team Umizoomi on the T.V. Now that was some crazy stuff there, a guy needed ta be eatin' them illegal mushrooms ta figure that shit out, or be a little fella, cuz D.J. seemed ta think that was real good entertainment.

He walked on in the kitchen n there was his Sweet Baby standin' there at the stove, and I don't think I gotta keep tellin' ya, he went up right behind her and he slid that hand up the inside a that pretty little leg and right on over ta that sweet spot. He give it a friendly little rub while he was kissin' and maybe suckin' just a little on her neck n her ear. Damn if Sweet Baby didn't moan and say, "Oh Daryl, I've been missing you all day." Well shit howdy, this was gonna be a good night at the Dixons!

She turned 'round and wrapped them pretty little arms around his neck and she was a kissin' on him like he was the hottest fuckin' thing on the planet, and he maybe mighta had a hand slid up under her shirt, ya know, just fiddlin' around with sumthin' he found there, when dang, didn't little ol D.J. come a toddlin' in and say, "Hungee Mama."

Daryl, now he bent on down n he tickled the little fella's side and he asked him, "Son, do ya hate yer Daddy, is that it? Is that why ya never wanna let me have no fun?"

Ya know Little Man, he was just a laughin' n a clappin' and didn't he just grab Daddy's nose and give it a big ol' squeeze.

Daryl looked at Sweet Baby n he said, "Ya been teachin' the boy ta hate me, haven't ya?" and then the whole damn family was a laughin'.

So while they was eatin' dinner, and it was a good one too, she'd made a pot a spaghetti. Now him and D.J., they loved that shit right there. In between shoveling in them noodles and slurpin' 'em right down, he was tellin' her 'bout the two big weddin's they was invited to. She was a laughin', which was makin' Little Man laugh, and she said, "I have a feeling Oscar and Ruby will be taking their vows a bit more seriously than your boss and his wife do." Ah they was havin' a fun evenin'.

While he and Little Man played more trucks, and watched Peppa Pig – now Peppa Pig was one a the only modern cartoons Daryl liked cuz Peppa, her brother George and Mama n Daddy Pig, they all liked jumpin' in mud puddles. Daryl could relate ta that, so while they enjoyed that, Sweet Baby was cleanin' up the kitchen and talkin' ta Mama Greene 'bout watchin' the little fella while they went ta the weddin's. 'Course, Mama and Daddy said yes right away. Everyone loved D.J., happiest baby that ever was.

Then she come n got D.J., cuz ya know the poor fella was gonna have ta take a bath. Daryl would never understand this obsession his Sweet Baby had with bathin'. Anyway, he was watchin' a little BBQ Pittmasters on the TV 'till she come in n told him it was story time. Daryl did love him some story time. She read sumthin' 'bout a hungry caterpillar and D.J. was out like a light halfway through.

They barely made it out ta the hallway when Daryl let out a low growl n said, "Aw fuck Sweet Baby, all I wanna do is rip them tight ass jeans right offa you and renew my vows with ya, right here, right now." And Sweet Baby, she didn't put up no kinda fight at all, she'd been thinkin' 'bout his good lovin' all day.

xxxx

Everyone managed ta act real nice n proper durin' Oscar n Ruby's ceremony, and the punch and cake followin', after all, they was all Southern born and raised. They knew how ta act in front a someone's Mama. Even Cindy, she managed ta make it to the bathroom in time ta do her pukin' in there, proper-like n all. But then a course, they all went over ta Oscar n Ruby's for the real party. Besides all the booze that Oscar had socked in everybody seemed ta have brought a bottle a liquor or a case a beer, and snacks. There was every type a chips n dips, cheese n crackers, little tidbits a this n that, ya know the drill.

And there was all manner a celebratin' goin' on n everyone was gettin' just a little buzzed and the radio was cranked up and all a them well-wishers was a drinkin' and pretty soon, the dancin' started. Even our favorite redneck was all about dancin' up close n personal. The abundance a the touchy, the feely, and the general ass grabbin' and promises of undyin' love and sexual favors was proof positive, romance was in the air!

Daryl got his Sweet Baby home, via one sadly sober Cindy, and they hardly got in the damn door before they was a rippin' each other's clothes off so they could prove just how happily ever after they was livin'!"

xxxx

Now Big Boss, he had instructed his men they was ta wear their best clothes and their women was ta do the same. What did he think, they was all a buncha idiots that didn't have enough sense ta dress up proper for a fake weddin'? Well yeah, that's what he thought, I guess.

After that last little incident at the Hard Times, Daryl needed a new dress shirt cuz, ya know, among other things that happened that evenin' he may have, in his understandable haste, well he mighta ripped all them buttons off, and maybe he tore that shirt a little, ya know, just cuz he loves his Sweet Baby so much n all like that.

So Sweet Baby, she'd changed things up a little, she bought him a black dress shirt and a black silk tie. Now Daryl, he wasn't big on the idea a wearin' a tie, but she rubbed up to him and said, "Please Daryl, just put it on and see if we like it." Well, y'all know how she has that power over him, so he did. Course she tied it for him n all. Then didn't she look at him, get up there on her toes and with one hand roamin' somewhere else on his anatomy, didn't she whisper to him, "You look so hot right now, I think I'm going to lose control just looking at you."

Well yeah, yer right, he's wearin' the fuckin' tie, he's not a complete idiot ya know. Sheesh.

Sweet Baby was wearin' that red hot dress a hers and that was makin' Daryl all kinds a red hot his own self. They was in for a good evenin'.

But anyway, I can't be thinkin' 'bout all that right now, we got a fake weddin' ta attend, down at the fake church where I s'pose ya go if they don't want yer ass at no regular church. But I ain't one ta judge.

So anyway, let me just tell ya kids, that fake church was decorated like some royalty was gettin' married there that very evenin'. There was every manner a flowers everywhere a person could find ta put a big ol' bouquet a flowers, and there was the white tablecloth lookin' things ta walk on, and there was 'bout nine gazillion fake candles just a glowin' up there on the fake altar a the fake church.

Some usher folks they musta hired or sumthin' was tellin' everyone where ta sit n whatnot. There was a shitload a people there too, Daryl n the boys was all wonderin' if Big Boss had ta pay all these folks ta attend. Daryl was mighty sad ta learn he n Sweet Baby had ta sit right up front. On the rare occasion that Daryl Dixon did attend a church service he was more of a back row kinda worshipper. But I guess bein' Little Boss come with all manner a extra responsibilities n such.

So there they all was, wishin' they was at the Hard Times gettin' shitfaced and participatin' in general mayhem, when music started ta play. Pretty soon Big Boss he comes in the side door there near the fake altar, him and Big Boss Son. Beth was just thinkin', "Oh my gosh, his son is his best man." She couldn't help herself from givin' Daryl a little nudge in the side. Meanwhile, our boy Daryl just kept tellin' hisself he just had ta get through this and then a frosty one was awaitin' with his name all over it. But he hadn't counted on the choir folks that come a walkin' in the other side door near the fake altar, and they was all in full choir regalia – satin robes n the whole enchilada.

They commenced ta singin' a tune in some foreign language n it was real nice n all like that, but damn, our boys was just a squirmin' in their seats wishin' they was anywhere else, preferably with a frosty brown bottle ta their lips. 'Cept for Axel n Doc Carol, they was just cuddled up there in the corner a the pew. Daryl was sure Axel had his hand somewhere it didn't belong, not in a church anyways, even if it was a fake church. But fuck, at least someone was havin' a good time.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so after the choir sang two, that's right, TWO, foreign songs no one understood a fuckin' word of, somewhere an organ started playin' that music, oh I can't think a what the hell it's called, but all y'all have heard it 10 gazillion times, ya know, that Here Comes the Bride music.

So now out starts comin' bridesmaids n groomsmen, that's right, all a that, and these bridesmaids and groomsmen, they all look like teenagers and 20 sumthin's. And these poor young gals are all dressed in red satin dresses, but they ain't sexy like Sweet Baby's, oh hell no, they're gigantically fugly. They got these enormous full skirts to 'em, and they look all manner a puffy, and nuthin' can hope ta match the puffiness a the sleeves – damn kids, those sleeves was HUGE. Just ta add ta the overall ugliness, they had a huge sash kinda thing around the waist and, oh yeah, I ain't lyin', it's tied in a humongous bow in the back. That's the kinda dress a woman gets home with and she don't even take it ta the Goodwill cuz she knows they're gonna have ta just throw the fuckin' thing away. Ain't nobody ever gonna want a ugly-ass thing like that, so ya just throw it away yerself, ya know, ta save Goodwill the trouble.

So the last bridesmaid in is the Big Boss Daughter, and then, ah yeah, y'all saw this comin', a little flower girl spreadin' rose petals and then boom, The FAKE BRIDE. Oh Dear Lord in Heaven above, I wish ya coulda seen it. The weddin' dress looked like sumthin' from a Disney princess movie – it was a lot like them bridesmaids dresses in fact, 'cept it was white as snow, like, the fuck? Is that cuz Mrs. Big Boss is a virgin n all? Well besides that, what we gotta think about here boys n girls is, Mrs. Big Boss she has ta be pushin' close ta 50, which is real fine n all, 'cept this here dress, well if anyone on this planet was ever gonna look okay in a dress like that they better be no more'n 18 years old, and no bigger than a minute.

Now let's also address the fact that Mrs. Big Boss she has them big pink torpedo titties, and they are just all but completely popped out a the top a the dress, just the nipples ain't quite escaped yet, but the boys all knew right then, them titties was gonna be makin' an appearance at some point this evenin'.

Our boy Daryl was tryin' so hard ta be respectful, he had a family ta support n whatnot, but fuck he wanted ta laugh so bad it was causing him pains, he didn't dare look at any a the boys, and Sweet Baby, she was no help at all cuz ya know what she done? Well, she had her face buried in his chest and she was a holdin' up a Kleenex to the side of it like she was so moved she was cryin' her eyes out, but really, she was laughin' her ass off.

Well then they went n did the whole 'til death do us part thing, and they even did that unity candle stuff, n then Big Boss kissed her, and as weird as the whole fuckin' thing was, at least it was finally over and they could all go have several adult beverages, cuz Lord knows, they earned the overtime n the booze.

Well a course the reception hall was even more decked out than the church, and there was tons a real nice food, but mostly what the gang cared about at this point was gettin' good n drunk. That's what they needed after what they just witnessed.

So needless ta say, everyone is gettin' three sheets ta the wind, n everyone is havin' a real swell time, cuz the booze is free for gawd sake, and the band is playin', and the gang is all playin', and there's a little gropin' and feel coppin' goin' on, and everyone is dancin' around, and Oscar n Ruby they're out their puttin' the smooth dance moves on, when Mrs. Big Boss gets right in between the two a them. She's a lookin' right at Oscar and she's shakin' them shoulders, just bendin' over a little n shimmyin' at him, when fuck a duck, a tit pops out.

Now Ruby, she was already fit ta be tied but that done it for her, her last straw was more'n broke, she grabbed a holda Mrs. Big Boss and she drug her ass outside and she put her up against the wall, and Mrs. Big Boss was lookin' rightfully scared shitless, plus her tit was hangin' outta her dress n all, and Oscar, he didn't know what ta do and everyone else – cuz ya knew everyone else was gonna go out there too - was just standin' around, includin' Big Boss, and Ruby said in a voice that demanded attention, "Ya stay away from my Oscar ya horny bitch, he's my man and I got the paper, the ring and the nightly lovin' ta prove it. Next time you come a puttin' it out for him, I'ma put you out for good."

And then Ruby just walked right up ta Oscar and got him in another one a them hot as fuck lip locks, and shit if she didn't slide her had right down in the front a his pants. Now Oscar, he didn't fight it or nuthin', cuz he didn't want her all pissed off at him and besides, it was all feelin' just right ta him.

So, that's when the party really got started, everyone went back ta drinkin' n dancin' n touchin' n feelin', thinkin' they was all bein' so damn sneaky, ya know what I'm sayin', hell, even Merle n Cindy was a carryin' on and she wasn't even drinkin'. Axel n Doc Carol, they slipped in that coat closet and it sounded like them coats was takin' a pretty serious beatin' and everyone was real fuckin' grateful they didn't have a coat in there.

Daryl was out on the dance floor with his Sweet Baby, and all y'all know how the man gets ta that point, ya know, when he's several drinks in and Sweet Baby's is in his arms, and she looks so damn hot, and she thinks he looks so damn hot, and his mouth just naturally wants go ta her neck, and her ear, and her pretty little mouth and just be kissin', n suckin' n nibbilin', and his hand just wants ta go ta that tight little ass and grab a handful a that and pull that lower body a hers tight into his, so she can feel just how much he loves her n all. And that's when he said, "Sweet Baby, I got ta get yer pretty little ass home right now so I can renew them vows again, I got the need." She didn't put up a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's exactly how it all came down, ya can't make this stuff up. Thanks so much for reading, please comment. Love ya large! xo gneebee


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's go have a beer

Hey all y'all, ya know what night this is, right? Yep, ya got it, it's Wednesday, y'all know what that means doncha?

Don't bother playin' dumb, ya know where we're goin' so let's go! Let's all head down ta that rickety ol' godforsaken bar, ya know the one that smells like one a them diaper genies threw up? Yeah, that one. Hell it ain't like we give a a rat's arse about buildin' codes n foul smells, this here is all about checkin' in with them Dixon boys n seein' what's up with them, and what's up in the community cuz, I don't know 'bout all y'all, but me? That's right, I got a lotta community spirit and pride n all that kinda shit, that, and I could sure go for a frosty one right about now.

So Merle, he walks in that foul-smellin' little joint, it's a full house this evenin', course even though the place was full no one was sittin' on Merle's stool. These here boys? They might have a little too much booze on their brains, but they ain't complete fuckin' idiots ya know, sheesh. So the big man sits down n ya know barkeep is right there puttin' a frosty one in front a him.

Merle sees baby brother's lookin' like he's puzzlin' about sumthin', and a course Merle he's wonderin' just what's goin' on. So Merle bein' all about Baby Brother's misery n all he says ta him, "Hey little brother, how's it goin', Little Ballbuster twisting yer balls 'bout sumthin?"

Every ear in the joint just perked right up.

Next thing happened was that everyone nearly lost their cool n laughed out loud, cuz apparently Daryl had enough a Merle's shit, ya know, the usual Wednesday breaking point had already been reached. So Young Dixon said ta big brother, "Merle ya fuckin' dumbass, I told ya not ta call her that 'bout a million times. I'll tell ya what ya fool, ya ever fuckin' slip up n call her that ta her face, she's gonna tear yer ass up fast brother n I ain't stickin' up for ya one bit. And besides, I don't like ya callin' my Sweet Baby that neither, how'd ya feel if I was ta go 'round always callin' yer woman Big Ballbuster, what would ya think a that?"

That's when Merle started belly laughin' and the damn beer come pourin' right outta his nose, and I thought for a minute he was gonna fall off his bar stool, and he said, "Little Brother I'd pay real good money ta see ya call my Cindy that ta her face, why she'd have yer ass kicked right up between yer ears faster n shit through a goose." And then both them Dixon boys was a cacklin' ta beat the band, cuz, like I'm forever tellin' ya, they're both more'n capable a behavin' like complete dumbasses.

But then Merle got all serious-like n he said, "Damn I love that big woman a mine, every night when I get home I swear ta God Almighty she's even bigger than she was when I left in the mornin', don't bother me one little bit neither, like they say, just more cushion for the pushin." And he was lookin' all like he was absorbed by his deep love for Cindy. Baby brother he just nodded. Ya got ta respect a man's love for his woman, ya know that kids, I know ya do.

So Merle changed his manner a questionin' n he said, "So now little brother, I know sumthin's eatin' at ya, ya gonna tell yer big brother what that is, ya know, so I can help ya through it n all?" Oh ya know they was all listenin', n ever' one took a swallow from their brown bottle, includin' me.

"I don't know what my Sweet Baby's thinkin', she's decided she wants D.J. goin' ta some damn preschool program and I asked her, the fuck Beth? Ya send the Little Man there he's just gonna be learnin' all manner a stuff ya don't even want him ta know yet, like them damn bad words n shit like that." And y'all know Merle understood just what he was gettin' at.

"Yeah, I get ya on that brother, Little Ol' D.J. don't need ta be corrupted by them little assholes, why he's smart as a whip. He don't need them dumbass kids tryin' ta bring him down ta their level." And ever' one in the whole fuckin' place couldn't agree more. They all nodded n took a big swig a their frosty beverage.

Then Daryl he seemed ta perk up, "Oh yeah, but I got some news for ya that's so fuckin' ripe n' juicy yer gonna wanna pay for my beers tonight outta sheer gratitude for me sharin' such a tidbit with ya." An damn, I ain't kiddin' ya, Daryl he was a chucklin', I swear I ain't lyin', why he even snorted.

Now Merle he was all sittin' up straight n everythin' n barkeep put two more frosty ones in front a the brothers. And all them boys in the stinky little bar they was anticipatin' what kind a scandalous news might be comin' and like the synchronized drinkin' team that they are, they all took a big swallow a their refreshments.

Then Daryl drops that little bomb a information, "Axel told me today he's gone n got Doc Carol knocked up." Well ya best be believin' that Merle nearly dropped his beer upon hearin' that news.

So didn't Merle ask Young Dixon, "Holy fuck brother, don't a doc like her know what causes that shit? Don't she know how ta keep that from happenin'?"

And didn't Young Dixon just go right on ahead n ask Merle right back, "Well holy fuck ta you brother, didn't ya know what caused that shit, and didn't ya know how ta keep it from happenin, and ain't yer own woman in the family way?" Ouch Daryl, way ta burn yer brother, but damn if they both didn't start ta cacklin', cuz the damn facts is the facts and Merle was guilty as charged.

Merle he said, "Yer right Baby Brother, I'm buyin' the beers cuz that right there, now that was news. So when are they gonna marry up?"

"Well that's the hell of it, Axel said he asked her right away but she said she had ta think 'bout it a few days. I don't get it, shit, ya get knocked up, ya marry up, ain't that the rules?" Daryl was shakin' his head in wonder.

Now Merle, always one ta put the screws ta baby brother, says, "Well fuck yeah, if yer Daryl Dixon n Little Ballbuster's Daddy has a shotgun pointed at ya, but all folks ain't as honorable as the Dixons."

Daryl just looked right at that big ol brother and said, "Fuck you Merle."

xxxx

He walked in that front door and there was little ol D.J. playin' with them trucks a his and watchin' the "Wow Wow Wubbzy" show. Daryl was thinkin' two possibilities, ya either had ta be on 'shrooms or still be in diapers ta figure that shit out.

But he give the boy a little rub on the head and said, "Hey Little Man, how ya doin'? Daddy's home, ain't that excitin'?" D.J. he just giggled n clapped his hands and that was enough for Daddy.

He walked in that kitchen and there was his Sweet Baby standin' there at the stove fixin' him sumthin' delicious. Being as how he was all overcome with love n whatnot, he walked right up behind that woman and slid that hand right up the inside a her thigh, ya know like he likes, well she likes it too, and he moved that hand on over and he give a little rub there ta that sweet spot he couldn't get enough of, and damn, she kinda whimpered right then, and she whispered, "Oh Daryl…"

Damn, his pants got tight.

She turned from the stove and put her arms right around his neck and said, "I want you so much right now, I don't know how I'm going to make it until D.J.'s bed time."

Damn, what had come over his Sweet Baby? Well he didn't know but bein' the good husband that he is n all, he laid a big ol kiss on those pretty lips and he slid that hand down the back a her pants, and he was rubbin' the hardest part a himself against the sweetness that was her, and right then didn't little ol' D.J. walk right in that kitchen and say, "Hungee Mama."

Now Daryl he just leaned on down and he tickled Little Man's neck and he said, "Son ya got ta learn ta think 'bout others sides yerself, it ain't good manners ta be so selfish." Little Ol D.J. he just giggled n clapped his hands.

He n D.J. was powerin' down that delicious chicken n noodles dinner Sweet Baby had cooked them up, while she was mostly movin' hers around the plate and eatin' a green salad. D.J. he pointed at that salad n he said, "Leafs." Now Daryl he couldn't help hisself, he come real close ta cacklin', "See how smart yer boy is Beth? He don't need no preschool, he agrees with Daddy, that there ain't food, that's a bowl a leafs." He tried ta high five Little Man, but Little Man just threw a noodle right in Daddy's face. Daryl set him straight, "Now that ain't nice son, don't be throwin' food at Daddy." Course D.J. he just giggled n clapped those hands, cuz I'm sure I told ya this several times already, D.J.'s the happiest baby in the whole fuckin' universe.

He n D.J. was back ta playin' with the trucks on the floor n watchin' sumthin' called Paw Patrol on the TV, while Sweet Baby was cleanin' the kitchen up. She come in the livin' room then n said, "Bath time boys." Daryl he looked around for some other boy.

"No Daryl, that means you, you get in there n shower up while I give D.J. a bath, I've got big plans for you." Well shit that sounded promisin', so he jumped right up n said, "Yes m'am." Even though, as all y'all know, he can hardly abide all this showerin' she seems hell bent on makin' him do, seriously, couldn't she just learn ta appreciate his manly smell?

He come outta their bath with his flannel pants on, on accounta D.J. n all ya can't just be runnin' round nekked kids. He went into D.J.s room for story time, cuz all y'all know how much Daryl loves him some damn story time, Beth was readin' the one about the little engine that could, that there is a good one, ya got ta think positive ya know.

Little Man fell right ta sleep and they headed right ta that bedroom ta finish what they'd almost started earlier. He pulled them flannel pants off so fast they nearly caught fire, then he got busy undressin' his Sweet Baby. She was already hot enough she was helpin' him with the task.

He had that mouth a his right on her little tittie in no time, n he was a suckin' n nibblin' at that like it was one a them gourmet meals ya hear about. Then he was movin' one hand ta her tittie, one ta that sweet spot, n then damn, she pushed at his shoulder ta move him on ta his back. Now he hadn't been thinkin' this was what she was up to, but he wasn't gonna argue, he liked his Sweet Baby ta be happy.

She moved her little hand down there right on the bad boy, gettin' him all manner of excited, and her sweet mouth was headin' that way too, when she paused for just a minute, looked up at him and asked, "Daryl, you know what would be a really good idea?"

He'd known that question was comin' the minute she'd started headin' south, but he acted like he hadn't been in this particular situation several times in the past, and he asked, "What's that Sweet Baby, what would be a real good idea?"

"If we got a mini van Daryl, doesn't that sound like a good idea?"

Well, well, he slid his hands down under her arms n pulled her up til her face was even with his and he said, "Sweet Baby, I know yer messin' with me now, I ain't a complete fuckin' idiot, I know ya don't want no mini van, yer just tryin' ta throw me off the scent, ya want me ta suggest we get a Grand Cherokee instead, I know that's the rig ya been wantin'. Now you have gone n forced me ta teach ya a lesson 'bout messin' with me, so watch out Sweet Baby here comes the bad boy." And he and the bad boy taught her every manner of important lesson, and she learned 'em real good. A course she's probably gonna have ta get taught all them lessons again tomorrow, but that ain't my concern.

So their they lay, cuddled up and all spent and whatnot, when Daryl said, "Shit Sweet Baby, I forgot ta tell ya the big news a the day."

"What's that Daryl?" He liked that she was still runnin' that pretty little hand all around on his body like she wanted more, damn he loved his woman.

"Axel went n got Doc Carol in the family way."

She nearly flew up offa the bed, "What?! Are you kidding me Daryl? Oh my gosh, that is so exciting! I'm so happy for them, so when's the wedding?" Hell, he hadn't really expected she'd be so fuckin' happy about it.

"Well that right there is the hell of it Beth, Axel said he asked her right away and she didn't say yes, well she didn't say no either, what she said was she had ta think about it. Damn, what's there ta think about?"

Now his Sweet Baby smiled at him, "Well I just can't imagine Daryl, why maybe I should ask Daddy to go see her and straighten her out about the benefits of getting married when you're pregnant. He certainly did help you with that, now didn't he?"

"Dammit it Beth, ya sound like fuckin' Merle. Ya know I love ya, and ya know I'd marry ya again in a New York minute. I was just tryin' ta work up the courage ta ask is all." An then they both started laughin' and then the touchin' started up again, and then bad boy set about provin' ta Sweet Baby just how much her husband loves her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I ain't lyin', that's how it all happened. Thank for reading and please leave a comment. I love ya large xo gneebee


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all y'all, thanks for the love you give this story, I appreciate it so much. C'mon down ta the Mad Dawg sometime and I'll buy ya a frosty one! xo

Dang if it ain't Wednesday night again kids! I know all y'all surely remembered that and where we're headin'. That's right, we gotta get ourselves down ta the Mad Dawg where the beers are cheap n cold, the language is salty, and the barkeep just keeps the frosty ones a'comin' 'til ya tell him ta hold up, ya run outta money, or ya fall offa yer stool.

The place smells a little rancid but who gives a rat's ass? The Dixon Brothers are gonna be there so be brave kids!

Young Dixon walked inta the joint and he seen big brother was already warmin' a stool, his hand clasped around a brown bottle. When he seen big brother looked like he'd been raked over hot coals, had them sunken eyes, dark circles under 'em, and a decidedly slimmer and more drawn look, plus he kinda looked ready ta pass right out, little brother knew what was what. He'd nearly died that death his ownself.

So bein' the lovin', carin' always concerned brother that he was, Daryl clapped big brother on the back and said, "Looks ta me like Cindy has gone and entered the amorous phase a the pregnancy." All ears were pointed toward our favorite brothers, and everyone took a big ol' gulp a their frosty one.

Now Ol' Merle he barely had the energy ta speak, the man was spent, but he did manage ta say, "Fuck you Little Brother."

"Nah, don't be doin' that brother, I'd say yer busy enough. I'd offer ta help ya out, like ya offered ta help with Beth, but ya know I only got eyes for my Sweet Baby. Yer gonna have ta take care a Cindy all by yerself. Be brave, get barkeep ta get ya a pickled egg and a bag a Cheetos for energy, my treat."

This time big brother just flipped Young Dixon the bird. "Damn little brother, I thought I had me a oversized romantic appetite, and I thought I'd met my perfect match with my Cindy, but she's gone and passed me right up. I ain't had a good night's sleep all week, Cindy don't take 'no' for an answer."

"Well brother, all I can tell ya is the same damn thing ya told me, it's yer job, yer husbandly duty an whatnot. Yer just gonna have ta man up and mount that mountain." And I swear to ya right here and now kids, Daryl Dixon laughed, really, I ain't lyin'. And all them boys in the Mad Dawg they was pretendin' ta cough inta their sleeves n such tryin' hard ta hide their own laughin', and everyone in the joint, includin' the brothers, took a long pull from their brown bottle.

Merle was desperate ta talk about sumthin' else, "Well Baby Brother what's up with you n Little Ballbuster, ain't ya got nuthin' that's gonna make me feel better 'bout my own life?" Now little brother he couldn't help but smile again. I'ma tell ya the damn truth, this day here, it set the record for Daryl Dixon smiles and laughter, ain't no doubt.

Now there ain't a fella in the Mad Dawg ain't a little jealous a Daryl Dixon, they've all seen Sweet Baby a time or two, ain't a one of 'em that wouldn't wanna be goin' home ta that at night, so they's all listenin' when the man replied, "Well this mornin' we was all havin' a real nice breakfast, eggs, grits, bacon, biscuits, ya know Sweet Baby she spoils me n my man D.J. real good. 'Course she wasn't eatin' none of it, she was drinkin' that green shit she calls a smoothie, looks like mashed up lawn clippin's ta me, but whatever, anyway she looks at me like it ain't no big deal at all and she just states it flat out, "Daryl, I'm thinkin' a dyin' my hair red."

That put a little twitch of a smile to Merle lips, "So what'd ya say ta that brother?" All ears were in hyper mode and all lips were pressed to a brown bottle.

"I told her like it is, got real rough n tough with her, ya know, like I always do, showin' her who's boss n such, an I said, 'Please no Sweet Baby, I love them blond curls, don't want ya changin' a damn thing, yer the most beautiful woman in the world, why ya wanna screw with perfection?' Ya know, scared the shit right outta her." And both them Dixon brothers got ta cacklin' pretty damn good then cuz ya know, they're dumbasses n all.

"So in other words she's still keepin' yer balls under her pilla, huh?"

Merle was smilin' thinkin' he had him, but then baby brother he smiled right back n said, "Yep and they're nice n comfy there, they ain't all withered up n beggin' fer mercy likes yers big brother."

That was about the time barkeep set a couple a fresh n frosty ones in front of 'em, and Merle decided ta change the subject, "So what's become of Axel n Doc Carol, are they gonna marry up or what?"

Now that called for a long pull from everyone's bottle, "Oh yeah, almost forgot ta tell ya. It's the strangest fuckin' thing I swear. He said she told him she truly loves him n all, just not sure she's the type ta marry up, wants ta continue ta think about it, but in the meantime she says she wants ta 'move forward with their relationship,' whatever the fuck that means exactly, anyway, she wants 'em ta move in together, have a little 'commitment' celebration, 'stead of a weddin' n a party."

"So if yer shackin' up, an yer doin' the horizontal bop, makin' babies an all, but ya ain't married, that there's called a commitment huh?" Now Merle he wasn't bein' a smartass, he truly didn't quite get it. "Things has sure changed with women. Fuck, I'm old enough ta remember when they wanted the ring BEFORE they'd put out for a guy." An everyone in the joint got ta ponderin', rememberin' how much tougher things was in the olden days, and drinkin' their beers.

It was then little brother became the voice a truth, honesty n the American Way, and he said, "Nah brother, ya know back then everyone was fuckin' their brains out same as now, they was just workin' harder at pretendin' they wasn't." And no one could argue with that, so they all just took a swallow.

"Anyway, so Axel he's puttin' on a brave face, sayin' he's happy ta have his woman willin' ta keep house with him n whatnot, and then he says ta me all plaintive-like, 'ya think we could have a little commitment party at yer place?' And didn't I, without givin' it a moment's thought or hesitation, say, 'sure, we'll throw ya a big ol' party', an now, don't I gotta go home an tell Sweet Baby I volunteered ta throw a wild ass party two weeks from Saturday, right there in our own backyard. Damn, I hope she's feelin' agreeable." And everyone raised up their beer ta Daryl Dixon and they took a big gulp, silently wishin' him good luck.

xxxx

Daryl walked in n there was little ol' D.J. playin' with them trucks on the floor and some show called "Dora the Explorer" was on the TV and there was a map and a backpack and a compass and they was talkin' n singin' and Daryl looked ta the boy and he asked him, "Son, does that make any kinda sense to ya at all?" Little ol' D.J. he just giggled n clapped them hands n Daddy said, "Well if it makes ya happy boy, I guess it's all good."

He walked in the kitchen and there was his Sweet Baby at the stove cookin' him sumthin' that smelled damned delicious, and he went right up behind her, just like he does every night when he gets home, and he rubbed that palm a his right up the inside a her thigh, and he slid it right over and cupped that sweet spot, and he was nuzzlin' her neck and nibblin' on that sweet little ear and he said, "Damn I missed ya today Sweet Baby."

She flipped that burner right off and she turned herself around, arms around his neck an she planted a big ol' kiss ta his lips and said, "I've been thinking about you coming home to me all day Daryl." And didn't her sweet little hand wander down to his ass and grab a handful, and didn't his hand slide up her shirt and grab his favorite handful, and weren't they kissin' n moanin' when little ol' D.J. come toddlin' in the kitchen n said, "Hungee Mama."

And Daddy he smiled, leaned on down an he roughed the boy's hair n told him, "Son, yer always wreckin' Daddy's good time, don't that make ya feel the least bit guilty n remorseful?" An little ol' D.J. he just giggled n clapped his hands. That D.J., I've told ya before n I'm tellin' ya again, happiest little fella God ever made.

They was enjoying a delicious chicken-fried deer steak dinner, complete with mashed potatoes n gravy, well Daddy n D.J. was munchin' that right on down, Sweet Baby was mostly movin' hers around on the plate and eatin' a bowl a them fuckin' leafs. That's when she asked him, "Any news on Carol and Axel?"

Now Daryl he wasn't quite ready ta spring all the news on her yet, cuz ya know, this could be his last supper n all and he wanted ta enjoy it, so he just said, "Well they ain't gonna get married quite yet, but they're talkin' 'bout doin' sumthin' called a 'commitment ceremony', ya know, they're gonna promise ta _act_ married but they ain't gonna _get_ married. Let's you n me talk about that more a little later, ya know in the sack, how's that?"

Sweet Baby wasn't really sure what he was gettin' at with that, but it did sound intriguin' so she just smiled and said, "Okay Daryl."

Sweet Baby was scourin' up the kitchen and talkin' ta her sister Maggie on the phone, while Daryl n D.J. was playin' trucks n watchin' sumthin' real strange called "Wallykazam," when Sweet Baby come in an announced it was time for D.J. ta take a bath. Now Daryl, he didn't even wait ta be told he just jumped right up offa that floor n said, "Yeah D.J., Daddy too."

Sweet Baby looked at him with an expression of both shock n suspicion and she asked him flat out, "What the heck has gotten into you Daryl Dixon?"

He was tryin' ta be a little cute n coy and whatnot when he responded, "Just tryin' ta keep my Sweet Baby happy."

Yeah well, Sweet Baby was startin' ta think sumthin' was up, I mean besides the Bad Boy.

He come outta that bathroom all scrubbed up, why he'd even trimmed up that beard a little bit, and she told him, "You sure do smell good and you're just in time for story time." And Daryl was a happy man, story time was always a favorite for the Dixon men.

Little man passed out halfway through the story and Daryl was scooping her up n carryin' her into that bedroom faster than y'all can say, "Come ta Daddy."

His flannel pants seemed ta fly right offa him, and he had her clothes off in record time, and he was kissin' her like he might never get to again, and he was a nuzzlin' at her neck n throat, and his hand was movin' ta her little tittie, and then he was movin' a hand down south a there, and his mouth made a stop at that tittie and he had it all there in his mouth just a suckin' n a nibblin' n she was respondin' like she was enjoyin' her husband's deep affection, and then he started ta move that face a his further south and he got nearly ta that sweet spot when he stopped, looked up at her and asked, "Ya know what would be a really good idea Sweet Baby?"

And Sweet Baby, she couldn't help but smile at that man and she just asked, "What's that Big Man, what would be a real good idea?"

And our boy he took him a deep breath and he spoke faster than he'd ever spoken before when he said, "If we was ta give Axel n Doc Carol a real nice commitment party right here at our place two weeks from Saturday."

And she was still smiling when she said, "Why that would be a real good idea Big Man, now finish what you started down there and then put that Bad Boy to work for a while."

As he was crossing that last bit a territory ta her sweetest spot he said, "I love ya Sweet Baby, always will." An a course, he showed her in more ways than one just how much he truly did love and appreciate her, an she mighta showed him a pretty good time her own self.

xxxx

Just like she always did his Sweet Baby put together one helluva party. The guys n their gals, weren't none of 'em showed up empty handed. They was all toting dishes a food, cases a beer, bottles a booze, everyone was willin' ta work at makin' sure this commitment got off to a pleasant start.

Mama and Daddy Greene come by just for a quick bite ta eat and to wish Axel n Doc Carol the very best, and Daddy may have whispered ta Carol, "Get a ring young lady, then no matter what happens, you and the baby will be taken care of."

Doc Carol she just smiled at Daddy cuz she respected the fact he was a traditional man and he had concern for her and the baby n all.

Mama n Daddy they took little ol' D.J. home with them and D.J. was happy as a boy can be, he knew Grandma was gonna have a big ol' bowl a vanilla ice cream for him n grandpa after supper.

Daryl had grilled up what look ta be about a thousand chickens and them party goers was makin' short work a them, and the tater salad, n the fruit salad, n the cornbread an all other manner a delicious foods that the ladies had brung with 'em.

And kids, I don't think I gotta tell ya the the Dixon bar was the busiest place in the Great State a Georgia, why everybody was a celebratin' the happy union a the new couple, even though none of 'em quite understood why ya throw a big party just ta celebrate ya moved inta someone's house, ya know, without bein' married n all. They were accustomed ta doin' that shit on the sneak, but whatever, any reason ta party was a real good reason.

Now Doc Carol n Cindy was drownin' their sorrows that they couldn't have a real drink, just juice, a very poor substitute.

Cindy was scoutin' around for Merle, and when she spotted him over there at the bar she just went right up ta him and started rubbin' that ever expandin' body against his, cuz all y'all know, she was in the business a wearin' the Older Dixon right out. But as tired and weak as he was, our boy Merle was respondin' like the lovin' husband that he is, and their R rated behavior was kinda gettin' everyone all manner of inspired ta act the same.

Ruby n Oscar was in the pool where he was carryin' her around and she was drinkin' some champagne and I swear that hand a his couldn't stay outta that bathin' suit a Ruby's. And Daryl he mighta had his hand right down the back a Sweet Baby's little bikini, but then again, her hand may a been makin' little sweeps, ya know when no one was lookin' n all, ta the front a his swim trunks, and Maggie n Glenn they seemed ta be feelin' around in each others clothes for sumthin', and it coulda been that Abe and Rosita was sneakin' off ta the woods, and Axel n Doc Carol was romancin' like newlyweds, even though they wasn't – which is probably how everyone wound up here for this party in the first fuckin' place.

I could go on, cuz it seemed every couple there was gropin' sumthin'. But none a that is my business, and I cannot be speculatin' as to whether additional pregnancies were about ta ensue.

And right then, when everyone was feelin' especially lovin' toward one another, didn't Big Boss Daughter come a walkin' in with the newest hire, Heath.

Now all the guys they like Heath just fine, hard worker that guy, comes in early, stays late, ain't scared a gettin' right in there, doin' his job n helpin' out another guy as needed.

Course that don't mean it wasn't surprisin' ta everyone ta see this level a friendliness, cuz let me just tell ya right now boys n girls, when it comes ta the touchy an the feely, why Heath and Big Boss Daughter was fittin' right in with the rest a the gang. That further endeared our new man ta the group, cuz I know ya know, they're all about the romance.

So anyway, Heath n Big Boss Daughter were all involved in a very serious kiss, ya know the kind I mean, he was searchin' for her tonsils and she was searchin' just as hard for his.

That was right when Big Boss come walkin' in. Now didn't Big Boss go right on over, put a hand on Heath and push him away from Big Boss Daughter. Now I'ma tell ya, ain't none a them good ol' boys n girls alright with ya layin' a hand on 'em in anger, an the whole group of 'em, they got real quiet like, an Big Boss Daughter said, "Daddy you leave him alone, I love him." Now, let me just tell ya right here n now, there wasn't no one at that party didn't have a gigantic look a surprise on their face when she uttered them words, includin' our man Heath.

Now, this here is when Big Boss made a big ol' fuckin' horses ass right outta hisself, cuz didn't he say, "I'll not have you carrying on with the hired help." Probably not a good idea ta be sayin' such as that in front a your entire work force, who just happen to be half drunk.

Now Daryl he takes three long and purpose-filled strides right over ta where Big Boss is, n ya know how his voice gets all low and real rough soundin' when he's pissed off? Ya know, like a flat tire over a gravel road? So anyway, he latches a hand onto Big Bosses shoulder, n he looks him hard in the eye with that squinted stare he gets, an he says ta him, "Listen here now Big Boss, this here's a party, a gatherin' ta celebrate Doc Carol and Axel makin' a commitment ta one another, n I don't want ya comin' in here thinkin' you can just spoil that for them. An let me tell ya what we think around here at MY house, we think if ya wanna drink our booze, eat our food, party with us like we're acceptable folks, then ya better be givin' us respect. Ya got a whole bunch a hard workin' topnotch folks here. You should be appreciatin' the opportunity ta enjoy our company. We may be the hired help, but that don't mean we ain't every bit as important and worthy as you, and we're probably better people than you. Ya wanna hang with us, ya get a attitude of appreciation for us, otherwise, head on over ta the country club n party with them tightasses."

Ya see there boys n girls? That's why all them hard workin', hard lovin' fellas n gals, well they love Daryl, cuz he speaks the fuckin' truth. An they all give him a nod a the head.

Big Boss quickly realized the error a his ways, he held a hand out to Daryl an he said, "You're right Little Boss, that was an asshole thing to say. I apologize to you and your wife, and to everyone here. I have nothing but the highest regard for all of you, the company wouldn't be as great as it is without your hard work and dedication. The donuts and coffee are on me for the next month."

Nobody moved until Daryl reached a hand out and shook Big Bosses hand, then everyone went back ta drinkin', touchin', feelin' and generally carryin' on, but there wasn't a one of 'em didn't make sure they made it over ta Daryl at some time that day, shook his hand and said a thank you.

Now Sweet Baby, she had tears in her eyes, thinkin' her husband was indeed the greatest man alive, n she told him so, "Daryl I'm so proud to be married to you, you're a real man, the best man. I love you so much."

"Aw now Sweet Baby, ya make me the man I am, love you more, gonna show ya just how much tonight. Baby we're gonna tear that bed up, might have ta buy us a new one." An he smiled that little smile at her an she couldn't help herself, she just leaned right on into him and let him have a little feel a what she knew her man loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I ain't lyin', that's exactly how it all happened. I hope you had fun at the Mad Dawg, at the party and that you'll leave a comment. I love ya large! xo gneebee


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dixon's are just trying to navigate through this life, right along with the rest of us, and have plenty of fun doing it! Cheers!

I know y'all know what night it is, if ya don't, well then maybe ya oughta just go on back ta bed. As for the rest of us, we all know it's Wednesday night, time ta head on down ta that nasty little ol' tavern, yeah, ya know the one. It's over there in that back alley, yeah, behind the industrial park, smells like a garbage truck overturned in the joint. It's a second home ta the town's most interestin' and entertainin' misfits and lowlifes. And the beers? They're cheap n frosty and Barkeep just keeps settin' 'em up. Why it's like the man has a sixth sense, he knows you've taken that last swallow and that a person of your importance cannot be without a frosty one, unless a course ya run outta money. If that happens, ya better just get yer ass on home.

Yeah, that one.

And everyone knows Wednesday, why it's a tradition, the Dixon Brothers will be partaking of them frosty ones and tellin' every manner of interestin' tale; much ta the delight of our group of inebriated misfits n lowlifes.

So Daryl walks in an who the hell is already up ta the bar suckin' the very life right outta that brown bottle? It's none other than Oscar. Now this here is an interestin' development, Oscar don't EVER step out ta the bar after work, why ever since they was just shackin' up he's always rushed right home ta Ruby.

Well a course barkeep had a brown bottle there at Daryl's usual spot before Daryl even set hisself down. I got a sneakin' hunch that's cuz barkeep was anxious ta hear what the fuck was goin' on with Oscar n Ruby, same as everyone else at the Mad Dawg.

Daryl no sooner took that first pull than Merle shows up. Barkeep has the man's bottle at his usual spot when he's halfway to it. Barkeep is obviously a professional, and scandal-starved.

Now Merle he's unsure who to harass first, but ya know a man should stick with tradition. It's only fitting. So he says ta Daryl, "Hey there Baby Brother yer lookin' mighty relaxed, Little Ballbuster must be easin' up on ya, huh?"

Daryl now, he was in just a lil bit of a teasin' kinda mood his own self, ya don't often see that from the boy, and he says, "Nah, Sweet Baby she's been puttin' the big hurt on me, but when I come in an seen my buddy Oscar sittin' here lookin' all manner a brow beat, why I perked right up." And he and Merle commenced ta cacklin', cuz like I told ya 999,999 times, them Dixon boys is both capable a behavin' like complete dumbasses.

Oscar? He wasn't laughin' at all. He was lookin' every kind of morose a human can look, so Merle says, "Big man, what the hell ya doin' here? Ain't Ruby expectin' ya right after work?" Now I don't gotta tell ya, cuz I know yer all plenty intelligent, every ear in the joint was just a strainin' ta hear what the big man said.

"Ruby she's madder'n a wet hen, she done left me, went ta stay with her Mama, said she might see me around some time," he was a shakin' his head, lookin' down, and them Dixon boys was a little concerned that Oscar might start ta cry.

Daryl did the only thing a true friend can do in a moment such as this, he said healin' words, "Barkeep, get my buddy Oscar here a double shot a Jack and another beer." Barkeep was on it.

Now Merle, y'all know he's about as smooth as cactus, he asks, "On accounta why Oscar? Ya been messin' 'round, or she been messin' 'round?" Now I don't know 'bout you, but I would not ask a heart broke man Oscar's size, who's drinkin' double shots of Jack, with a beer back, a question such as that. But hey, that's just me. I value my life, and whatnot.

However, ya got ta know that the whole joint is lookin' damn cheerful, they figure they're not only gonna hear about a scandal, but they're also gonna see some fisticuffs. Gonna be a good night at the Mad Dawg.

But Oscar, he was so down n out he didn't even have the gumption ta get up, take a swing and knock ol Merle Dixon right on his Redneck ass. Damn, that woulda added a little excitement ta the evenin', but shit, excitement was on the way kids. We'll get ta that.

So now, Daryl he was feelin' of bit of sympathy for our man Oscar, remembering back ta the time Beth told him she was outta there, didn't want his ass no more, or words ta that affect. You remember, back when she first knew she was pregnant.

So Daryl he puts it to the man, "Well now Oscar, sumthin' musta happened before she walked on out, did ya have a fight, or was ya lackin' in yer luvin'? Was ya drinkin' too much? Gamblin'? Bein' an asshole? Sumthin' musta made her wanna stay with Mama."

"Nope, she'd gone n' bought herself a new red dress, fits too tight, don't leave not one thing ta the imagination. Y'all know the kinda dress I'm talkin' 'bout." Now let me just break in and make known ta ya right here, ain't no one doin' anythin' but listenin' at this point, well yeah, they're drinkin' beer, but they ain't lookin' away, they ain't visitin' the john, n they ain't conversatin' with one another. They're listenin'. "So she puts it on ta show me, n she's struttin' all over the room and twirlin', and smilin', and she asks me, 'Tell me the truth, whaddya think Lover Man, how ya like it?'

So I tell her, ya know, the honest ta God truth cuz that's what she said she wanted ta hear, so I said, "Ya look like a hooker."

Well boys n girls ya got ta know that at this little revelation half the bar lost a mouthful a beer, and it mighta come out their nose, or it mighta flown outta their mouth when they was tryin' ta choke back a laugh. Damn Oscar, ya caused a sinful waste a beer.

Now as soon as Merle had regained a little composure he did that thing that Merle does in moments of deep crisis, he became the voice of reason. Why it's really quite miraculous, ya know, he's like one a them idiot savants or sumthin'. So anyway, Merle looks ta the beaten man and he says, "Oscar ya big dumb sumbitch, don't ya know when a woman tells ya ta tell her the truth the very last fuckin' thing ya do is tell her the truth? Unless of course, ya want a busted lip and a cold bed."

"But she said it, why did she say it if she don't mean it?" Oscar downed that double shot and he guzzled that beer. But don't ya worry yerselves kids, barkeep he set em right back up. He's a professional. I told ya that before.

So anyway now Daryl, ya know Daryl, he's always a little down on himself and we all know he's a little awkward, he can even be kinda shy. But he does have a way about him, ya just ask his Sweet Baby, she'll tell ya. Underneath it all the man knows a little sumthin' about how ta treat a woman. So a course he chimes in with his own wisdom, "Here it is Oscar. When a woman asks ya them questions what she's really askin' ya is, do ya love her? Do ya want her? So here's how ya do it, let's just say Sweet Baby, she's got her a new red dress. Me? I'm sittin' in the livin' room with my man D.J. and I'm enjoyin' a frosty one while I watch Bear Grylls. In walks my Sweet Baby and she's got on that red dress, and it looks like she bought it a size too small. Why it's tight, leavin' absolutely nuthin' ta the imagination. She's a smilin' that big ol' beautiful smile a hers, and she asks me, 'Daryl, tell me the truth now, how do ya like my new dress?'"

"Why I stand right up, I walk over ta Sweet Baby, I wrap my arms around her,and I say ta her, 'Ah Sweet Baby, ya make me want ya, right here, right now. Why ya torturin' me? Couldn't ya wait 'til D.J. was in bed before ya put that on? I don't think ya better be wearin' that nowhere but for me. Them other boys gonna be all over ya and I'ma have ta kill someone. Damn Baby, is it D.J.'s bedtime yet?' So next time, ya might try n approach more like that, could work for ya."

Thing is, that smelly ol' joint is full a lowlifes, I told ya that already. Don't ya know they's all thinkin' they would not mind even one little bit showin' Young Dixon's Sweet Baby just how hot they think she is. Course ain't no one stupid enough ta say that out loud, shit, nobody wants ta die tonight.

And Oscar, well now he's confused, the Jack probably don't help, and he asks, "Well yeah, but does that work, does she take the dress back?"

Young Dixon he just looks at Oscar like he can't believe he ain't caught on ta the basics of what makes a happy marriage. "Well, sometimes she does, and sometimes she don't. The important thing is, me n her, we're gonna have us a real good time, just as soon as D.J. goes ta bed."

It seemed the whole bar raised their bottle in a silent toast to the man they all wished they were, Daryl Dixon. Just as quick, everythin' got real, real quiet, yep, ya coulda heard a pin drop, cuz guess who walked in. That's right, Sweet Baby.

She was wearin' a tiny little tank top and equally tiny shorts, she had her hair all done up in a ponytail and she was wearin' cowboy boots. There was not a lowlife eye that was not focused on Sweet Baby, why she was the Queen of the Mad Dawg Tavern.

Now Young Dixon his eyes were all lit up at the sight of her and he took three long strides to get right there next to her. He had an arm around her tiny waist, and a open palm ta her face, he was holdin' her to him, real tight, and he asked, "Sweet Baby is everythin' okay, where's D.J.?"

She leaned up and whispered in his ear, "Mama and Daddy have D.J., but we have to get Merle to the hospital. Cindy's gone into labor." Daryl he looked both happy and scared, "Shit, it's really happenin'? K, let's go break the news ta him."

Merle was all smiles, yeah well we all know he talks shit about Sweet Baby, always callin' her Little Ballbuster n whatnot, but ya gotta know he just does that shit ta aggravate Baby Brother. He loves Little Sister.

So he says ta the hottest woman ta ever walk in the Mad Dawg, "Hey Little Sister, what're ya doin' comin' in this shit hole, yer gonna get a goddamn cootie or sumthin."

And she's all big blue eyes and a big bright smile when she says ta him, "I'm here to get you, you big old lug, Cindy's at the hospital in labor. Isn't that the most exciting thing?! You're about to be a Daddy!"

I don't know about you kids, but I'm guessin' it's a genetic problem, ya know, it's in their DNA or sumthin', cuz right then, and right there in that stinky little dive bar, you guessed it, Merle Dixon fainted.

It took a buzzed Daryl and a pretty intoxicated Oscar to get the Older Dixon ta Beth's car, and damn if they didn't all ride off into the sunset together, ya know, over ta the hospital.

Merle was with it once he saw his Cindy, which is a good thing cuz even in hard labor, Cindy could kick his ass.

And don't ya know, Merle he stepped right up ta the plate, it was probably a damn good thing he was three beers in. He was about as near ta calm as Merle Dixon ever gets. He was holdin' Cindy's hand and just a smilin' and encouragin' her, n tellin' her how much he loved her sweet ass. While she was squeezin' the holy livin' shit right outta that hand and callin' him names even I won't repeat.

Meantime out in the waiting room, Beth got on her little cellie and called Ruby. She explained ta Ruby just what was goin' on here at the hospital. Then she spoke truth to Ruby, "Ruby your my friend so I'm reminding you, Oscar is just a man. You can't expect him to know what you need. You're going to have to teach him yourself, in a real sweet way of course. And it seems to me, he's ready to learn." Ruby said she'd be right on over ta collect her ever lovin' dumbass, cuz damn, she did miss her big man and her Mama was gettin' on her very last nerve.

Ah and don't ya know when she saw that big ol' sweet lover man, well Ruby's heart it melted. Still she had a little sass left to her. She had a hand on that hip and she looked at that man and she told it to him straight, "C'mon Big Boy, time for you ta get on home and show me how sorry ya are and just how much ya love yer Sweet Ruby." An don't ya know Oscar, why he flew right up outta that plastic waitin' room chair and he followed them swayin' hips of Ruby's right on out to the car, and on home ta perform his husbandly duties.

Another marriage was saved.

Now Daryl he was just a sittin' there checkin' out Sweet Baby's pretty legs, after all, it's short shorts season here in Georgia. "I missed ya today Sweet Baby and I feel a little cheated. I'da enjoyed walkin' in that door tonight, steppin' into that kitchen and slidin' a hand up into those those tight little shorts yer wearing'."

"That's why I wore them, I was missing you today too." And she smiled that sweet n sexy little smile at our boy and, ya know, it was all he could do ta sit there and behave, sorta. Okay, so he mighta let a hand slide up the inside a Sweet Baby's leg a couple a times, but he was discreet. Sheesh, give the man some credit.

So in the meantime Cindy's just a hollerin' her head off, and she'd already had the drugs. Ya know, not everyone is goin' along with all this natural bullshit n whatnot, sum of us folks still believe drugs can be a good thing.

However, it did appear that the drugs wasn't doin' Cindy much good at all. Why now, besides squeezin' the holy livin' beejesus right outta Merle's hand she was cussin' him and tellin' him he was never ever gonna do ta her what got her pregnant in the first place, ever again. And she was tellin' him that in what they call a colorful way. But our man Merle, he was bein' a trooper. He figured he'd punish Cindy real good for all that nonsense sometime soon, right underneath them covers.

But for right now, there was a baby to birth and it appeared ta be comin' right soon. That was a damn good thing cuz the doctor n the nurses were just about deaf from Cindy's screamin', hell, Daryl and Beth didn't miss a word of what was goin' on and they was still out in the waiting room.

And then there he was, all pink, wrinkled and slimy. A course, Merle n Cindy, they thought he was the finest lookin' child that had ever graced the earth with his presence, and they named him Earl. That oughta cause plenty a confusion for years ta come.

Daryl and his Sweet Baby, aw don't ya know they made a fuss over their new nephew, and Daryl did not miss the moisture in his brother's eyes. He understood it, becomin' a Daddy is a great big fuckin' deal for damn sure.

He figured he'd better get Sweet Baby home ta bed, so they could partake of a little baby makin' practice, whether they planned ta make a baby or not. It's always a good thing ta polish yer skills kids.

And shit, he had ta be at work in two hours, time was a'wastin'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's how it all happened, just like I told it, I can't make this stuff up. Thanks for reading and please comment. I love ya large! xo gneebee


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there kids! Shall we check in on the brothers?

Okay now I know all y'all know what night it is. That's right, it's Wednesday Night!

We gotta get ourselves down ta that tavern, ya know the one I mean, I know ya do. It's over off that alley, ya know, in the industrial area. Damn, the place smells like it's fulla 10,000 pair a high school boys' athletic socks, yeah, the dirty ones. The joint is populated by all manner a troublemakers, wrongdoers and scoundrels. But that don't make 'em bad people. We don't judge do we boys n girls?

Besides, the beers are cheap n frosty and Barkeep just keeps settin' 'em up, unless ya tell him ta hold up, or ya had so many ya can't find yer ass with both hands, or yer wallet runs dry. If any a that happens ya better just move along on home. Go on, make room for the next lowlife.

Anyway, all y'all know them Dixon Brothers meet for a couple a frosty ones every Wednesday night, even if their wife did just give birth. So hurry yer ass up. We damn sure don't wanna miss out on the good times.

Merle walked in that smelly joint ndn there was Baby Brother, he already had a frosty one ta his lips. Merle slapped him hard on the back n said, "Whassup Brother, Lil Ballbuster keepin' yer ass in line?"

"Yeah, ya know she don't let me step outta line too often, but what I'm wonderin' is how ya managed ta get Big Ballbuster ta let _yer_ ass outta the house when ya got a week old baby."

"Well lemme explain that to ya Little Brother. See, I'm about as much use 'round the house or takin' care of a baby as you are Brother. I don't cook, I eat. I don't clean shit up, I dirty shit up. I don't change diapers or brew up formula. I fully admit right here and right now, I am a worthless piece a shit. I do bring home a nice amount a dough, I'm real sweet about givin' Cindy all the lovin' she'll allow, and I'd kill any sumbitch that give my woman a bit a trouble. But ya know us Dixons, except for bein' pretty, and horny, and loyal and hardworkin', we're useless as tits on a boar."

Daryl just nodded, Merle was speakin' truth right there, and he wasn't done. "So my Cindy, bein' a smart gal n all, she called her sister Gladys from down near Jacksonville. She asked her ta come on up n stay with us, ya know ta pick up my slack, help her out. It's lookin' like Gladys's is just gonna go ahead and move in with us for good. She ain't got a man or a job, so why the fuck not? Cindy she needs the help n Gladys needs a place ta stay." Merle shrugged, every lowlife in the bar nodded their approval and everyone took a swallow from a brown bottle.

"What's Gladys like though, ya gonna be able ta stand havin' her livin' there with ya?" Not that Daryl really gave a rat's ass, it wasn't his problem, but ya know, it seemed polite ta ask and all.

"Well ya take everythin' 'bout Cindy, the body, the clothes, the make-up and the sass, you deduct three years and ya got Gladys. Only real big difference is I love my Cindy." That sounded real nice ta everyone so they all drank a toast ta true love.

Well it was just about that time Heath come a walkin' in. Y'all remember Heath, been messin' with Big Boss Daughter? Yeah, him.

He appears ta be lookin' for someone in particular when he spots Daryl, and don't he just walk right on over and set down next ta him. The young fella looks nervous as a whore in church.

Barkeep asks him, "Whatcha drinkin'?" and Heath says, "What imported beers do you carry?" Barkeep looks at him like he's the biggest ignoramus to ever walk into the Mad Dawg Tavern and he says, "I got Bud, Coors, Pabst, Shiner n Busch. Name yer poison."

"Oh, okay I'll take a Bud please." And when Barkeep sets it down don't Heath say, "Thank you." He's also the most polite sumbitch ever ta set foot in the Mad Dawg.

Barkeep set a couple fresh ones down in front of Daryl n Merle, for which he got a slight head nod. They ain't big on civility at the Mad Dawg.

So now Heath is lookin' mighty nervous, ya know on edge and like he might barf at any moment. I swear his hand, well his whole fuckin' arm really, was a shakin' when he lifted that beer ta his lips.

Now Young Dixon he's a little concerned, and he asks, "What the fuck kid? What's wrong with ya?" Daryl's the sensitive brother.

Heath looks like he might burst inta tears when he says, "Giselle n me, we gotta go talk ta her Dad tonight."

Young Dixon's confused, "Who's Giselle?" He ain't ever heard a no Giselle.

Now in case ya ain't figured this out, every gawl dang lowlife in the joint is perked right up, this sounds like it could be an excellent drinkin' story.

"Big Bosses daughter, you know we been seeing each other and all." I'm tellin' ya kids, the dude looked like he might shake right apart.

"So why ya so nervous 'bout talkin' ta Big Boss, he already knows y'all are seein' each other." Daryl was baffled by all this anxiety.

"Yeah well he don't know the part about...ah fuck Little Boss, I knocked her up." Well now what ya might not know kids is, Heath told that part right after both them Dixon Brothers had just took a big swallow from their brown bottle. Daryl's swallow come right back outta his mouth, where Merle's swallow come right outta his nose. That shit burns.

When Young Dixon had sufficiently recovered he put a hand ta Heath's shoulder and he told him, "I'd like ta lecture yer ass, tell ya that ya shoulda had better sense, shoulda kept a raincoat on it, but damn, I got in that same predicament with Sweet Baby. Course now, Sweet Baby's Daddy ain't the Big Boss is he?" And doncha know them Dixons' was just cacklin' their asses off, yep boys n girls, it's like I told ya a bazillion times, both them Brothers are perfectly capable a actin' like dumbasses.

Now Merle, bein' all soothin' and helpful-like, pipes up, "Well Little Brother, I guess if ya don't see young Heath there at work tomorrow yer gonna know it's cuz the boy is dead." And then them Brothers was cacklin' _and_ snortin'.

And every lowlife in the bar took a big ol' swallow from his brown bottle as they mourned the eminent demise of Heath.

But ya know, bein' the sensitive one n all, Little Brother again set a hand on Heath's shoulder and asked, "Do ya like this Giselle enough ta marry up with her?"

Heath nodded, "Yeah, I love her Little Boss. I hadn't counted on gettin' married right yet, but hell I'll marry her."

"Well don't worry too much then, Big Boss ain't gonna kill ya, and he damn sure ain't gonna fire ya, hell, ya got a baby ta support n shit. He might make ya sweat, might make ya wish you was dead, but you'll survive. Yep kid, Big Boss Daughter's gonna have yer balls in her jewelry box real soon."

Everyone in the bar nodded their agreement and washed it right down with a big gulp from their brown bottle.

xxxx

He walked in that front door n little ol' D.J. was just a playin' with them trucks a his, while some crazy kid show called Mutt n Stuff was on the tube. Daryl walked right over to the boy ruffed his hair n said, "Daddy's home, ain't ya happy ta see me n all?" D.J. he just giggled n clapped them little hands n went back ta them trucks.

Daryl swaggered on into the kitchen and there was Sweet Baby standin' there at the stove. Damn, them shorts was right up ta the top a her legs. Daryl, well ya know what he done about that. Why he walked right up behind her, ran that open palm right up the inside a her thigh and right on over and he took a little rub a that sweet spot he loves so much. His face was there in her neck and he was suckin on it, and he said, "Hey Baby I missed yer sweet self today."

"I missed you too Mister Dixon, and right after D.J. goes to bed there's something I want to discuss with you." Oh fuck a duck Daryl's heart practically come to a complete stop.

"I ain't in trouble am I Sweet Baby? Ya ain't mad at me are ya?" Y'all know how Young Dixon is when it comes ta Sweet Baby, he's prone ta panic.

She turned right around an she put her arms 'round her man and she whispered, "Don't panic Big Man you're going to get just what you want." She smiled and rubbed a hand right there where…well y'all know. So now Daryl says, "Well that's a real good thing cuz that Bad Boy right there's been actin' up ever since I walked in here n seen ya."

They was kissin' on each other like supper wasn't on the stove and the youngster wasn't home, and don't ya know Daryl's hand had accidentally slid down the back a Sweet Baby's tiny shorts, and her hand mighta found its way down the front a his pants, and weren't they both just a moanin' and purrin' when in toddled little ol' D.J., and he said, "Hungee Mama."

Now Daryl he just tickled that boy behind his little ear, smiled and said, "Ya hate Daddy kid, yer never gonna convince me any different." Little Ol' D.J. he just giggled n clapped cuz I know y'all know, he's the happiest baby in the South.

Now Daryl and his man D.J. was enjoyin' the heck outta them pork chops and mac n cheese, even the green beans - they had bacon in 'em which made even green beans edible - and Sweet Baby was movin' hers around on her plate and munchin' on her bowl a leafs, when suddenly Daryl remembers, "Ah man Sweet Baby I didn't tell ya what I heard down at the Mad Dawg." And he proceeds ta tell her 'bout Heath, Giselle and Big Boss Daddy. Sweet Baby she keeps sayin' stuff like "Oh my gawd," and "Are you kidding?" and exclaimin' "Sounds like we'll be going to a wedding real soon!" And D.J. he is just so damn happy a gigglin' n a clappin', after all, there's yummy food and Mama n Daddy are tellin' some kinda excitin' soundin' stories.

Now Daddy n D.J. was just playin' with them trucks and watchin' Ax Men on the TV, and Sweet Baby was cleanin' up the kitchen and talkin' ta Cindy on the phone.

When she's all done she comes in the livin' room ta get that Sweet Little D.J. for his bath, and she says, "Daryl Dixon I can't even believe you didn't tell me Cindy's sister has moved in with them!"

"Dang me I'm sorry Sweet Baby, I got so caught up in yer sweet self, and D.J. and dinner, and the story 'bout Heath, Giselle n Big Boss, I forgot that one."

And to his surprise didn't she just walk right up ta him, kiss him on the top a his head, and say, "I know Big Man it's been a busy evening. I'm going to give D.J. his bath, why don't you go ahead and take a shower."

Dammit, she never could forget about the fuckin' shower, he wanted ta tell her no he wasn't takin' no damn shower, just had one yesterday, but fuck, she was so sweet and so pretty and he wanted some a that later. Which is why he said, "That's a real good idea."

He was all prettied up, hell he even put on a little deodorant, and he got in D.J.s room just in time for the story, Little Blue Truck. It was no Little Engine That Could, but it wasn't bad. D.J. passed out before Mama was done readin'.

He was in his big ol' comfy chair and just happier than a pig in shit cuz she was all curled up in his lap. "So what's on yer mind Sweet Baby?"

"I've made a very big decision Daryl, it's something I've thought about for a long time. It's important that we have a strong marriage, that there's give and take, we can't always be just in our own comfort zone." Okay, now he was gettin' all worried again. Shit, he'd thought he was home free, but this was startin' ta sound a lot like he hadn't been doin' his share a the heavy liftin'. He was tryin' ta figure out just what he'd fucked up this time.

He decided the place ta start was rubbin' on her butt a little and holdin' her closer to him. "So whaddya thinkin' Sweet Baby, is there sumthin' wrong with my comfort zone?"

She started ta rubbin' on his chest and squeezin' herself in even closer to him, and she said, "Oh no Daryl, you take real good care of me and D.J., you're the best husband and I'm so lucky to have you. It's me, I haven't been a good wife."

Now wait just a fuckin' minute, what? "Whaddya talkin' 'bout Sweet Baby? Yer my perfect wife I don't wanna change not one damn thing about ya Baby." Shit, she wasn't gonna bring up that titty enhancement thing again was she? He liked them titties just like they was.

"No Daryl, I haven't been perfect because I've known since probably the second or third day I knew you, you like to go camping out in the wilderness. I've refused to go, refused to let you take D.J., I've been awful. Well Daryl I'm changing my selfish ways and I want you to take me and D.J. camping."

It was a good damn thing Daryl was settin' down, cuz shit, he was shocked, he hadn't seen that comin', not at all. "Well now Sweet Baby that sounds real damn good, just when was ya thinkin' 'bout doin' this campin' trip?" His hand had accidentally slid back up between her thighs.

"Well I just don't know anything about these things Daryl, you're the expert. How about if you make the plans, then you tell me what I need to do, and then we go. How's that idea?" Was there ever a hotter woman on this whole damn planet? Young Dixon did not think so.

So didn't he just stand right up outta that chair, holdin' Sweet Baby in his arms, and he made his way ta that bedroom just as fast as those legs would carry him. He got her in there and she was a yankin' at his t-shirt and he was pullin' her shirt up over her head, and she was pullin' down his sleep pants, and he was pullin' down her short shorts, and before ya know it they was just a lovin' all over each other, and he was on top, and she was on top, and they was at the foot a the bed, and they was at the head a the bed, and they fell offa the bed. Why they was havin' more fun than two people are allowed ta have on a Wednesday night.

By the time she'd gotten hers three times he could hold off no more, and he got his and they lay there on the floor, half way across the room from the bed. They was breathin' hard, hearts was beatin' a mile a minute, and that's when she rolled right over into him, she wrapped an arm 'round him and held him tighter than he could ever remember, why it was almost like she was scared a sumthin'.

"Sumthin' wrong Sweet Baby?"

"Daryl, after we go camping do you think we could rent a house on the beach in Florida, you know, a nice house and stuff, and take a little more of a fancy vacation?"

Aw kids, ya know he wanted ta laugh out loud, she sounded so sweet n pitiful, and really, he didn't give a flyin' fuck if she never went campin' and he grabbed her real tight to him and he said, "Sweet Baby I'll take ya anywhere ya wanna go."

And damn if they didn't fall asleep all kinds a satisfied and in love, right there on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So get on outta yer comfort zone kids - it could lead to a night a big fun! Thanks all y'all I hope ya had a good time, please comment. I love ya large! xo gneebee


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought you might like to see how the Dixons celebrate Christmas, so c'mon n follow me!

I know y'all know what night it is, that's right, yeah sure, that's the easy part, it's Wednesday, but kids! Unless ya live under a rock ya gotta be aware that this is the Wednesday right before the Thursday that is – that's right, Christmas Eve!

I guess ya know that means we gotta get it in gear and get our asses on down ta that smelly little tavern over there in the industrial area, yeah ya know the one I'm talkin' about, the one that smells like a hundred elves been livin' there and ain't changed their diaper in a year. Wait, do elves wear diapers? Well hell, I got no idea, but it don't matter anyhow. The point is kids, the damn place reeks. But that's okay, we ain't goin' for the ambiance, we're goin' cuz the beers are just as frosty as a ride on Santa's sleigh, an they're cheap, like that pack a socks yer Uncle Joe got ya from WalMart, and Barkeep, he just keeps 'em comin', like Aunt Myrtle's fruitcake. Well until ya tell him ya gotta get on home and assemble Junior's new bike, or like last year's gift card ya run outta money.

Yeah, that joint.

The Dixon Brothers will be there any minute. That's right, they took the afternoon offa work, met up and done their Christmas shopping. They ain't the kinda fellas that wait til the last minute. Sheesh, there's still like a day left.

So hurry we don't wanna miss out on any Christmas Cheer!

They walked in that joint and Barkeep was a tad surprised, in fact curiosity was at peak levels throughout the entire establishment. Why? Cuz Young Dixon he had a big ol' shit eatin' grin on his face and he was kinda like, well wasn't no kinda to it, he was definitely chucklin'. Now Merle, he didn't look too damn happy at all, in fact I'd say he looked downright scowly n growly.

So Barkeep he sets up them frosty ones at record speed. Daryl ain't he just so pleased with hisself as he takes a big ol' pull on that brown bottle. Merle he takes a big pull offa his too, but he's lookin' all manner a pissed off.

An then Merle speaks, and lemme just say his voice ain't ever all smooth n buttery, but holy shit, it sounds like boulders down a canyon wall in December when he growls, "I guess Lil Ballbuster really does own yer ass Baby Brother. For hell sake, why ya gotta make every other guy look like a cheap piece a shit while you go all Christmas fuckin' crazy? She don't need all that shit."

Every wrongdoer ear in the joint was on high alert just dyin' ta know what Young Dixon had bought Sweet Baby. And they all took a big ol' swallow from their brown bottle while they waited ta hear.

Daryl now he just took another swallow too and said, "I like ta keep my Sweet Baby happy, she earns it puttin' up with my ass all year."

Well now there ain't no doubt in any lowlife mind in that stinky tavern, why anyone a them scoundrels would do anythin' Sweet Baby wanted, if they could just have even one night ta prove their undyin' love to her. Course wasn't any of 'em ever gonna say that out loud. Shit, they're worthless drunks, not worthless idiots with a death wish.

"She don't need no goddamn brand new Grand Cherokee! Shit, now Cindy's gonna be wantin' a new car."

Every lowlife was just a lookin' at Young Dixon thinkin', 'Fuck I couldn't compete with that.'

"She and I had us a talk a while back and I told her I'd get her a Grand Cherokee. Now she ain't mentioned it since, but I like my Sweet Baby ta have the things she wants." Daryl was just a smilin', why boys n girls, I don't think any a us has ever seen the boy smile like he was. He must be all fully into the Christmas spirit and whatnot.

But then don't Merle get all manner a smart-alecky with him and he says, "Yeah I bet it was a talk, probably was more like brokerin' a deal in the sack."

Now every lowlife eye in the place was on Young Dixon, they was just sure he was about ta knock his brother right on his ass for speakin' that way bout Sweet Baby in the sack. But like I told ya kids, Little Brother was feelin' all kinds a happy n smiley and he just said, "Doncha lose no sleep worryin' bout me n my Sweet Baby and our sack time, we're doin' fine and we're feelin' fine."

And that right there? That was a bar full a jealous lowlifes, wrongdoers and scoundrels kids. The only thing they could think ta do ta try and comfort theirselves was take a big ol' guzzle from their brown bottle.

Merle was like a dog with a bone, he was not givin' up. "What about them little diamond earrings, where's she gonna wear those, Hard Times?" Now Barkeep was a little offended, why bring up the name of another drinkin' establishment? Why couldn't Sweet Baby wear them diamonds in here? After all, he'd like ta see her as much as every other scumbag in the joint.

"I don't give a fuck where she wears 'em." Yep ya guessed it kids, Little Brother was smilin' that big ol smile. An he was thinkin' he'd like ta see her wear 'em with that little red Teddy he got her over there at the Secret store. But he sure as hell wasn't mentionin' that in the Mad Dawg, or even ta Merle, or especially ta Merle. Whatever.

It was about that time that, of all people, Axel come in. Axel? Yeah, and no kids, Doc Carol wasn't with him. He looked like he was a bit perplexed and a might forlorn. Barkeep set a brown bottle in front a him. After all, don't booze cure all life's problems?

Daryl, in the spirit of the season and whatnot, decides ta be real nice n says, "What the fuck's wrong Axel?"

Axel takes a big ol' pull from the frosty one and says, "I got trouble Little Boss. I ain't never had a woman steady enough I had ta buy her a Christmas present n all. I got no idea what ta get my Doc. I been worryin' on it for days, ann now Christmas is damn near on us n I still ain't even got a idea."

Everyone a them lowlifes nodded and took a big gulp from their brown bottle. Shit none a them had even got ta the point a thinkin', much less buyin'. But shit there was still like a day left, why rush these things?

Daryl, still feelin' in the spirit, claps Axel on the shoulder and gives him his best advice. "Get yer ass ta the jewelry store and get her sumthin' sparkly, women love shit that sparkles."

Which is when Merle says, "What, ya think that Cherokee sparkles?"

"Fuck yeah it does, that's why I got Sweet Baby the red one. It sparkled the most." Me? I was sittin' at the other end a the bar, simply enjoyin' the shit outta Daryl's crooked little smile. I guess that smile and lookin' at them arms, well that was my Christmas present. I was feelin' content.

But enough about me and Daryl, let's get back ta the story.

So Axel said, "Shit Little Boss ya bought yer Sweet Baby a damn car?"

"Yeah I did, and come February I'ma be drivin' my Sweet Baby down ta Florida in that ride and we're gonna lay on that warm beach for a week." Ah, that grin.

I don't even gotta tell ya everyone was pissed off at Young Dixon, they're all mighty sick a his shit, fuck him. Yep, they wanted ta _**be**_ him. They all polished off their beers and got a fresh n frosty one.

"What did ya get yer Cindy, Merle?" asked our poor innocent friend Axel.

"Got her just what she likes. A shiny sparklin' shirt cut right down ta the belly button and at least two sizes too small. That, and a real gaudy necklace. Ya know my Cindy she likes ta put it out there, stand out in a crowd, show off them assets. Now for me, I bought her some real fancy underwear." Daryl punched him in the arm, he didn't want Merle talkin' bout Cindy's new underwear right there in the Mad Dawg.

"Well I'ma stick with Little Bosses idea 'bout the jewelry, Doc's already got a nicer car than me. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, me n her we're hostin' a big New Year's Eve party and we want you boys n yer women ta come. Gonna be at Hard Times startin' 'bout nine. My Mama's keepin' Little Axel all night."

Well Fuck Yeah and Yeehaw kids, we're goin' ta Hard Times! But not yet.

Barkeep give Axel the stink eye, shit, why couldn't they have the party at the Mad Dawg? But ya know, ya can't have a party in a joint where the women can't hardly stand ta put a foot in the door.

Axel no sooner bugs out ta get ta the jewelry store when in comes Heath. He's lookin' all manner a agitated and confused. He spots his target and comes ta sit next ta Daryl. Barkeep don't miss a beat, he sets a frosty Bud in front a the boy.

Keepin' up his warm holiday mood Young Dixon says, "The fuck kid?"

"Damn Little boss, I got me a bad problem an I just ain't sure what the fuck ta do." Oh thank God, things had gotten way too quiet at the Mad Dawg.

Everyone took a fast swallow n listened up.

"Well spill it kid, I gotta get on home ta my Sweet Baby."

They was all thinkin', yeah rub it in ya sumbitch. Not sayin', just thinkin'.

Heath reached in his pocket n pulled out a small box. "Giselle n me we're gettin' married in three weeks. Well I guess ya know that, since yer comin' n all, but anyway, I bought her this ring, thought it was real pretty. Just right for her. Planned ta give it to her for Christmas." Daryl opened the box and there was a pretty little heart shaped diamond on a gold band.

"That there is real nice Heath, so what's the problem?"

"Well I's proud Little Boss, thought her Daddy would like ta know I was takin' this marryin' her real serious, spent all my savin's ta buy this ring. So I showed it ta him an he laughed. He said it wasn't big enough. Today at work, well he called me in his office, he handed me this, told me ta give it ta her instead." An Heath dug another little box outta his pocket n handed it ta Daryl. A course it had a much bigger diamond ring.

Daryl n Merle give each other a look, an Daryl looked at Heath n he said, "Nah kid, ya give her the ring ya got her. Ya give this one back ta Daddy and ya tell him ta stick up his, well you know. Ya bought the ring ya bought cuz ya love her, thought she'd like it. Ya give her the ring Daddy bought and shit, it don't have no meanin' at all, and kid, ya start doin' things Daddy's way instead a yer own way, ya might as well hand Daddy yer balls. Now it's right that Giselle should own yer balls, she's gonna be yer wife an all, but ya sure as fuck don't want Daddy ownin' them boys. Ya gotta make that clear right from the start. But that's just my opinion, so it probably don't matter."

Everyone drank a toast ta Young Dixon, he was preachin' it.

And just as Young Dixon was risin' up offa that stool ta get on home ta Sweet Baby, in walked Oscar. Now Oscar was lookin' all happy as a clam. Daryl set back down, ya know, just ta say "hey" and be cordial and all for a minute. It's the Christmas season kids!

And Daryl asks the man, "The fuck you so happy about Oscar?"

And Oscar's just a grinnin' and he answers, "Why I just bought my Ruby two a the nicest Christmas presents, I know she's gonna be lovin' on me when she sees 'em. Ah yeah, she's gonna be grateful to her man."

Okay now everyone was at attention, what had Oscar bought for his Ruby? They all took a big ol' drink outta their brown bottle and waited ta hear.

Oscar was all puffed up on hisself when he says, "Got her a brand new vacuum cleaner and a waffle iron." Well ya know what happened right then boys n girls, I know ya do, that's right, them Dixon brothers got ta cacklin' like they was watchin' the Three Stooges.

Daryl was beside hisself, he wanted ta get home ta Sweet Baby, but once again he had ta save Oscar's ass. He give it to him straight, "Oscar ya dumbass sumbitch, what? Ya tryin' ta get a divorce, get killed? Just what the fuck is the matter with ya? Shit. Ya don't buy yer woman work tools for Christmas. Men like tools, women like real expensive useless stuff, like jewelry. Jesus man. You better give her those dumbass presents for George Washington's Birthday, or Ground Hog Day or sumthin'. Ya get yerself ta the jewelry store and ya buy Ruby sumthin' that costs a whole shitload a money and sparkles. Now I'm gettin' my ass home so I can show my Sweet Baby just how much I appreciate her."

Yeah, yer right, all them other boys was hatin' on our man Daryl.

xxxx

He practically flew home, walked in the livin' room and D.J. was playin' with them trucks right there by that twinklin' Christmas tree, Frosty the Snowman was on the T.V. and it was a downright festive scene. "Hey Little Man, Daddy's home, ain't that excitin'?" And ya know D.J. he just giggled n clapped, he was in the Christmas spirit just like Daddy.

He walked in the kitchen and there was Sweet Baby standin' there at the stove. She had on a pair a them yoga pants and they was so tight why, he wasn't quite sure how she got 'em on, but he surely did wanna take 'em off. He went right up behind her, ran that palm up the inside a her thigh, right on over ta his favorite place, give it a little friendly feel and whispered in her ear, "Hey Sweet Baby, Santa's home, got a real nice package here for ya too."

Sweet Baby ya know she just giggled kinda sweet n soft, and she turned around, got right in his arms an commenced ta kissin' on him, while she moved that hand down just ta check on that package real quick-like.

Well ya know by now how they are boys n girls, they was a kissin' n a rubbin' and it was gettin' mighty hot in that kitchen, and just about the time D.J. toddled in and said, "Hungee Mama."

Daryl tickled the little fella in the ribs and said, "Dang D.J., why don't ya want Daddy ta ever have any fun?" And D.J. was just a gigglin' and a clappin', happiest baby ever was, that boy is.

They was eatin' some delicious elk stew with big ol' crusty rolls, yep Daddy n D.J. was enjoyin the heck outta that, while Sweet Baby was movin' her's around in the dish and munchin' on a bowl a leafs.

Daryl proceeded ta tell her, "Dang, I's tryin' ta get myself outta that tavern a lot sooner, but guys kept a comin' in askin' me stuff, why I thought for a minute there I must look like that Dear Abby chick."

Sweet Baby she smiled big at him and said, "Alright Abby, I want to hear all about this."

And by golly, he told her. All about Axel, Heath and Oscar. He did not divulge anythin' about Merle and what he got Cindy. Why? Cuz as sweet as Sweet Baby is, she has a little trouble keepin' a secret. That don't make her a bad person kids. She just can't help herself.

"Daryl I'm so proud of you for what you told Heath. That's so beautiful, and you're so right. You see why I love you? Because you're the sweetest most poetic man in the world." And she had little tears in her eyes, and D.J. was a pattin' on her hand.

Now Daryl he wanted ta say, "What the fuck ya talkin' about? I ain't sweet and I ain't got a poetic bone in my body." But I told ya like a million katrillion times, Daryl Dixon ain't a complete fuckin' idiot. If Sweet Baby wants ta think he's a sweet poet, and that makes her love him even more, he is 100% acceptin' of that.

xxxx

** Christmas mornin' **

They was up real early at the Dixon house, everyone was excited ta see what Santa Claus had brung. The tree was a twinklin' and Sweet Baby had the Christmas music on the Bose.

Daddy had got D.J. a little crossbow, 'course it was a Nerf one, Sweet Baby had insisted he was too young for the real deal. When Daryl kept buggin' her she finally told him, "I think he should at least be potty trained and be able to talk before we get him any deadly weapons." Daryl had reluctantly agreed.

Santa got D.J. a little train set, Daddy was gonna have lotsa fun puttin' it together and playin' with it. Hopefully D.J. would get a turn. Daddy got his boy some new trucks. Mama got the little fella some new books and some paints n colors. D.J. was just a gigglin' and a clappin', is it possible that the world's happiest baby got even happier? It appeared so.

Now Sweet Baby she gave Daryl a real nice long sleeve black shirt ta wear when they go out. Ya know, ta replace the white one she accidentally ripped the buttons offa in the heat of passion. Y'all remember that. And he got a real snazzy black leather jacket. D.J. gave him a new pair a sleep pants and Santa gave him a men's groomin' kit. Now when he saw that groomin' kit he said ta Sweet Baby, "Santa ain't funny." But he was a smilin' and feelin' like the luckiest sumbitch ever walked the earth.

He handed her a box and she opened it right up, saw that red Teddy an she turned almost as red as that Teddy. She hurried and put it back in that box so D.J. wouldn't see, and then she said, "I think you got that one for yourself Mister Claus." Daryl just smiled and shrugged a shoulder. Sweet Baby had his number.

Then he handed her a small box, "This here is from D.J." She opened it, saw the little diamond earrings and a couple tears run from her eye. "Oh my Daryl, these are so beautiful, I love them. Thank you so much."

He smiled and said, "Ya gotta thank D.J., why he spent all his allowance ta get ya those."

Then he kissed her real deep, real hot, and he said, "There's one more little present from me, it's out there in the yard. Brought it home with me last night but I didn't have the strength ta carry it in the house." She looked puzzled.

He stood, held out a hand ta her and helped her up. D.J. didn't even notice, he was so busy playin' with those new trucks.

Daryl opened that front door and there was that bright red Grand Cherokee with a big ol' silver bow on the hood.

Sweet Baby let out a squeal, got ta jumpin' up and down and said, "Daryl Dixon I can't believe it, wow, are you crazy? OMG it's a new car! Is it really mine Daryl, this isn't a joke is it?"

He was smilin' and he grabbed her up and said, "Geez girl, ya really think I'm that mean? It's all yers baby, an if ya let me, I'ma be drivin' you over ta Florida in February, take that fancy beach vacation you was wantin'."

Aw, she was all teary now and holdin' on ta her husband and tellin' him how much she loved him and how he was the best thing that ever happened ta her, and that's when D.J. toddled over and said, "Hungee Mama."

Daryl he bent down and ruffed the boys hair n said, "Ya hate it when she hugs on Daddy, don't ya? Ya just want her all ta yerself." And don't ya know D.J. was just a gigglin' and a clappin', happiest baby in two universes.

She took that breakfast casserole outta the oven and Daryl n D.J. was a scarfin' it right down. Christmas makes a man hungry! She was eatin' a little yogurt. One thing she and Daryl was havin' that they didn't usually have was mimosas. That's right. D.J.; was just havin' the orange juice part.

D.J. was a yawnin' n rubbin' those little eyes and his Mama said, "I think it's time for a story and a morning nap." And that's just what happened, for D.J. anyways.

Now Daryl he led her by the hand back ta that livin' room, picked up the box and said, "Model that for Santa, wouldya Sweet Baby?"

And she smiled and she disappeared into the bedroom with that box, while he sat in that big ol comfy chair just a waitin' in excited anticipation. She come out and she had on the red Teddy and her hair was all up but with curls fallin' down. She was wearin' a pair a high heels and he even seen those diamond earrings a sparklin'.

She come a sashayin' on over ta him, real slow n sexy like, she turned round an bent down in front a him and shook her tight little butt right at him. Don't ya know he grabbed them hips and he took a couple friendly little nibbles on a cheek, while he was a rubbin' on that favorite spot a his. They was both kinda excited and she slipped down into his lap. He give her a big ol' kiss while he was a feelin' all over on that Teddy, probably checkin' for manufacturer's defects and whatnot.

And then just like that he had that Teddy back offa her, why it took him no time at all. She pulled those pants down offa him, grabbed that little packet he'd set there on the end table, took care a that part for him, then she was on top a him and they was havin' a real Merry Christmas.

He wanted his turn on top, so he picked her right up, laid her down on that sofa, an he was showing her all a his Christmas spirit when yeah, ya guessed it, they fell right offa that sofa. Not that such as that would stop those two. Why they was fulla love for one another, a couple a falls wasn't gonna stop 'em. Yeah, they was all about showin' that deep and abidin' love. And she was back on top, and he was back on top. And they was rollin' around, and they was suckin' and nibblin' and rubbin' and lickin' and boom, yep, they knocked that Christmas tree right over. But they was way too into what they was up to ta worry about that tree, they just kept after it. And when she got hers three times or maybe four, he could wait no longer, and he come undone.

They was a layin' on that livin' room floor, just a pantin', hearts a racin' and he said, "Merry Christmas Sweet Baby, I love ya. Love ya so much."

And she rolled right over onta him and said, "I love you Daryl Dixon, you're my heart. And this is the best Christmas I've ever had."

* * *

He got that Christmas tree righted, cleaned up them broken ornaments, all the time just a smilin' ta himself.

She put the finishin' touches on that sweet potato casserole ta take ta Mama's, and she was just a smilin' ta herself.

Little Old D.J. was in his crib just nappin' away and dreamin' bout trucks, and train sets and his funny Mama and Daddy.

An they was a Happy Little Christmas Family boys n girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear kids, that's how it all happened, ya can't make this stuff up. Thank you for reading, please leave a comment and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright now, y'all know what night this is, c'mon I know ya do. Oh well hell yes, a course it's Wednesday. If I'm tellin' ya stories it's Wednesday, sheesh

But KIDS, c'mon now, think about it. That's right, ya got it, it's the Wednesday night before the Thursday night that is NEW YEAR'S EVE!

We got ta get ourselves down ta that little tavern, don't be playin' now, actin' all innocent like ya ain't ever been there. Hell I just seen ya there last week. It ain't nuthin' ta be ashamed of, everybody likes a good dive bar and the Mad Dawg is one a the best of the worst! That damn place smells like the inside a one a them garbage trucks, and ain't no one knows when was the last time the floor was swept, and I wish ta gawd someone would clean the damn john once in a while.

But hell, it ain't like Martha Stewart owns the joint, and we ain't goin' there ta breathe, we're goin' there ta drink! Cuz we all know the beers are as frosty as a witches' titty, and cheap as WalMart toilet paper, and Barkeep he just keeps settin' em up, well until ya tell him ya gotta get home an get that fuckin' Christmas tree outta the house cuz it's a damn fire hazard, or ya run outta money. If that happens get yer ass outta the way, there's another lowlife that wants yer stool.

Tonight is that calm interlude prior ta what's sure ta be an interestin' start ta the New Year tomorrow at Hard Times.

I'm just here tryin' ta keep my drinkin' muscles in shape, well that and them Dixon Brothers will be arrivin' any minute!

* * *

Daryl walked in the joint and there was Big Brother lookin' every kinda glum, what the fuck?

First thing was Barkeep set them boys up with a frosty one, the weather's pretty dry and we all gotta stay hydrated and whatnot.

Now ain't I always tellin' ya kids Daryl's the sensitive brother? So don't he just clap Merle on the back and inquire, "What the fuck's the matter with you dumbass?"

Now Big Brother he appreciates Little Brother's concern and he says, "Fuck you Daryl, I got bad trouble."

Can we pause here for just a minute while I tell ya what ya already know? Yeah, that's right, every lowlife ear in the joint is listenin' so hard, why they's pointed up, like one a them elf ears, ya know from that movie with the Hobbits? Yeah that one.

Well now Young Dixon he almost feels bad, almost, nobody wants ta be around a Merle that's feelin' all down n low. Shit the guy's ornery enough when he's happy. But Daryl ya know, it only happened once in a while, and when it did, he couldn't help bein' all smug n snarky and shit like that. So now what? Oh, what I'm talkin' about is when Daryl's the happier one a them two.

So he asks all consolin' like, "What the fuck happened, Big Ballbuster cut ya off?"

"Well fuck no, it ain't that bad, shit, a fuckin' zombie apocalypse wouldn't be that bad. Nah, it's that damn sister a hers, she's nuthin' but a train wreck andn she's startin' ta cause trouble in my home. I won't be havin' none a that shit and my Cindy she agrees, we're gonna ship her out Sunday, sendin' her off ta their sister Viola, over outta Gatlinburg."

"Gladys? I thought she was gonna be helpin' Cindy with Earl, I thought this was s'posed ta be a good thing."

"Yeah well, turns out she drinks more'n you n me put together, and Cindy says she's seen her lookin' at me like I'm some kinda fuckin' snack. Now Cindy's feelin' all manner a jealous and she's half pissed off at me, but shit, I ain't interested in Gladys, hell I got all the woman I can handle with Cindy."

Oh don't ya know kids, them lowlifes was enjoyin' every fuckin' minute a this shit right here. Well hell, so was I and I'm only a lowlife in trainin'. Anyway, we all took a big pull on our brown bottle.

"Well I thought she was s'posed ta be watchin' Earl, not snackin' on you." Daryl just couldn't help hisself, this here was some good shit. Damn if he didn't start cacklin'.

Have any of all y'all noticed how damn much fun Young Dixon is havin' this evenin'? And let me just tell ya, he ain't bad ta look at either. Okay, I know, back ta the story.

"Yeah well come Sunday she's gonna be snackin' on a bologna sandwich on a Greyhound bus ta Tennessee. I can't wait ta get her ass outta here."

Well not one a them lowlifes even knew Gladys, but they all lifted a brown bottle ta their lips and bid her adieu.

"Well who's gonna help with yer man Earl? Ya gonna hire one a them Nannies or sumthin?"

Everyone waited ta hear, what the hell? There wasn't nuthin' else ta listen in on, and we all took a swallow.

"Cindy's other sister Prudence is comin', she gets here on the bus tomorrow, thank God we're all goin' out."

"Geez brother, how many fuckin' sisters does Cindy got?"

"A lot it seems, kinda a bottomless pit a sisters. Anyway, Cindy says Prudence, well she's a real plain Jane. Not like any a the other sisters at all. My Cindy says she's real quiet, don't hardly wear no make-up, kinda old maid-like."

"Anyway, we got her and Gladys a room together for tomorrow night, same hotel as all a us. Ruby's Mama is gonna come sit with Earl. We'll get Gladys drunk one last time, andn I guess this sweet little old maid sister can sit at the table and drink cokes, or whatever the fuck it is old maids drink. Shit, she's only 28, ain't that too young ta be an old maid?"

Everyone took a big ol swallow contemplatin' how old ya are when ya become a old maid.

* * *

Daryl walked in that front door and there was little ol D.J. playin' with his new trucks, his old trucks and watchin' that train go 'round, all while enjoyin' an episode of The Backyardigans. That show baffled the holy livin' shit right outta Daryl, but hell D.J. liked it n that's all that mattered. "Hey Little Man, Daddy's home, ain't that excitin'?"

I know y'all know, why little ol' D.J. he was a gigglin' and a clappin' and then he said it, he said, "Daddy." Daryl he picked that little man right up and he give him a big ol kiss and he said, "That's my boy! Why your Daddy's gonna buy ya a real truck next!" And a course D.J. was a gigglin' an a clappin', who wouldn't?

He walked in the kitchen and there was his Sweet Baby standing there at the stove stirrin' a pot a sumthin' that smelled real damn good.

He walked up behind her, slid that open palm up the inside a her thigh, right on over ta his favorite place, he give it a little rub while he was nuzzlin' her neck and he whispered, "The Bad Boy wants ta get up close n personal with that pretty little thing right there."

She giggled softly while she turned around and got right in his arms, and didn't that pretty little hand slide right down there ta the front a him, and she give it a little squeeze and said, "Well I'm going to expect Bad Boy to work extra hard tonight cuz I am wantin' some lovin' Big Man." Damn she was hot! All he could think ta do was start ta kissin' on her and rubbin' on that tight little ass, while he was rubbin' that Bad Boy against her, and she was startin' ta breath heavy, that's when D.J. walked in the kitchen n said, "Hungee Mama."

Daryl he bent down n tickled the little fella right in his tiny armpit, and he said, "I just told ya I's gonna buy ya a truck and then ya treat me like this? That ain't bein' grateful at all." An little ol D.J. he just clapped n giggled, cuz ya know, he's the happiest baby who ever drew air.

They was havin' sumthin' she called linguine, he didn't know what the fuck that meant, but this shit was good, well a course it was, it had noodles in it. He n D.J. was lovin' that right there. She even took two bites of it, before she went back to her bowl a leafs.

Then he told her about Gladys wantin' ta snack on Merle and whatnot, and she was appropriately horrified that Cindy's sister would behave in such a way. Then he told her about the new sister comin', Prudence. And Sweet Baby, aw ya know she is a sweet one, and didn't she say, "Well gee, that doesn't even sound like a sister of Cindy's. I'm anxious to meet her, we'll have to try and make her feel at home."

He and his man D.J. was playin' with the new trucks, the old trucks and the train, and watchin' an episode a Flying Wild Alaska, while she was cleanin' up the kitchen n talkin' ta Cindy on the phone. No doubt they was talkin' about what they was wearin' ta Hard Times tomorrow night, and how much fun they was gonna have.

She come in the livin' room and said, "It's bath time for Daddy and D.J." Well Daryl kinda perked up, shit, was she gonna give him a bath? That was a new one. But nah, she ruined it for him when she said, "Daryl why don't you hop in the shower while I give D.J. his bath." And she smiled and all, but still, why did D.J. get ta have all the fun?

"Sweet Baby, I forgot ta tell ya my New Year's resolution." He had that crooked little grin and he looked quite pleased with hisself.

"Oh yeah Big Man, and what would that be?" She smiled her own crooked little grin.

"I'm resolvin' ta only shower once a week." He was pretty proud til she smiled and said, "Well I guess you only want lovin' once a week."

Dammit, she beat him every time. He went in the bathroom and spiffed himself right up. Of course he hurried cuz he didn't wanna be late for story time, I told ya before, he loves that shit.

D.J. was pickin' out his story from the bookcase and he come up with one a Daddy's favorites, Green Eggs n Ham. Course D.J. only made it halfway through before he was sound asleep, Daryl kinda wanted her ta keep readin' it anyway.

Then she give him that look and he just picked her up and carried her in that bedroom, set her down and started ta kissin' on her, and he was a rubbin' every part a her, and she was a rubbin' every part a him, and then he was gettin' her clothes offa her, quick as could be, and she was a gettin' his clothes offa him, quick as could be, and he was pickin' her up and puttin' her on that bed, and then his mouth was on that right titty, and his hand was on that left titty, and then he switched it up, cuz ya got be fair n all, and then his mouth was down on her tummy, and then his mouth was between her legs, and then she got there, and then he got on top a her, and then they rolled over and she was on top a him, then they rolled over onta the floor, and he was grateful she was on top cuz he knew the weight a him woulda squished her little self. And then they started rollin' all over that floor like a couple a kids on a grass hill, and they was a gigglin' and havin' a real good time with their lovin'. Then Daryl got all serious, and he made sure Sweet Baby got there a couple more times, then he got there. And they was layin' there on that bedroom floor, and when he caught his breath he asked her, "Sweet Baby why do we even got a bed?"

* * *

He got outta work early that next day, hell Big Boss closed the joint down at noon, which made all the fellas happy as could be.

He went right home ta Sweet Baby, shit it was D.J.'s nap time, maybe he could get some good lovin' in. Well guess what, Sweet Baby thought it would be a good idea if they took a shower together and washed each other up, and maybe accidentally they'd have some lovin' while they was doin' all that cleanin'. Those kinda showers was the only ones he liked.

He put on his black jeans, that new black shirt, his motorcycle boots, his angel wing vest, and he was ready.

When he saw Sweet Baby he was sure his eyes would pop right outta his head. She was wearin' the tiniest little pair a black shorts ya ever did see, an they was all lacy. Damn, he had ta do it, it had ta be done, he slid a hand right up in the leg a one. She just smiled at him. She had on a tiny silky white blouse, sleeveless, with thin straps, and it came up higher in the front so her little bellybutton was showin', and she was wearin' knee high black boots.

He didn't think she should be seen in public in that get up, she looked way too fuckin' hot, but dammit, he wanted ta keep lookin' at her in it, so he warned her, "I'ma be stuck ta you like gum on your shoe Sweet Baby." She just give him a little rubbin' and said, "Good, that's what I like Big Man." And Bad Boy was startin' ta act up again.

She looked at him and said, "C'mon, we gotta get D.J. ta Mama and Daddy's so we can meet your brother and all of his women for dinner."

Daryl leaned over n roughed the boys head and he asked him, "Ya wanna go see Grandma an Grandpa?"

A course D.J. he giggled and he clapped cuz he knew him and Grandpa would be ringin' in the New Year with big bowls a vanilla ice cream, 'bout 7:00pm.

They got ta the restaurant 'bout the same time as Merle n the gals, and let me just say, Daryl and Beth was both surprised as hell when they seen Prudence. Yeah well, she didn't look like an old maid, and she didn't look much like Cindy or Gladys. She was a tiny thing, bout Beth's size, her hair was long and wavy and a kind of reddish blond color, she had big green eyes and it was true, she had almost no make-up on, she didn't need it, she was real pretty. She was wearin' tight black jeans, short black boots, and little pink tank top.

When Cindy introduced her ta them she smiled real sweet and put out a little hand to shake. Beth give her a hug straight away, "Welcome Prudence, we're so glad to have you here."

Then Beth looked up and seen Gladys was starin' hard at Daryl and she was hopin' she wasn't gonna have ta kick ass later, this was a new outfit.

They had a real nice dinner, well everyone except Beth n Prudence, they both ate big bowls a leafs. Then they was all off ta the Hard Times ta ring in the New Year. YeeHaw!

A course as soon as they got there all the ladies went right ta the rest room, the men always wondered just what the fuck it was they was all doin' in there.

In comes Tyrese, shit no one has seen him anywhere but at work or the buildin' supply store since chapter 12. Daryl and Merle they go right over ta shake the man's hand, and Daryl asks him, "Ya done with it finally?" And don't Tyrese make a big ol' smile and say, "Finally Little Boss, I got it all done and it looks real, real nice. Gonna have a party a couple weeks after Heath n Giselle get married up, have everybody over."

That's right, Tyrese had bought a nice house, well it was a damn wreck when he bought it, that's why ain't no one seen him, he's been fixin' it up. Good ta know it's done and we're all goin' to a party over there.

Now all the sudden Daryl notices Tyrese ain't payin' no attention ta him, Merle or anyone else, his eyes are trackin' someone walkin' their way. Daryl turns ta look and it's none other than Prudence and she and Tyrese they got their eyes locked tight ta one another.

She comes right over ta them and says ta Daryl, in a real shy way, cheeks all rosy, "Will ya introduce me to your friend?"

And that there was all it took boys n girls, them two couldn't take their eyes offa each other the rest a the night.

So now meanwhile, Tyrese is just hangin' onta sweet little Prudence and she seems ta be lovin' every minute a that. He's sippin' a beer, and she's sippin' on a wine and he can't stop smilin' at her and her little hand is up on his chest, and yep, I'm pretty sure it's love.

The juke box starts ta play and it's kind of a fast song, but Tyrese is dancin' with her real slow and it's like she kinda disappears right inta him. Merle he looks ta Daryl and says, "Shit, I wonder how that's all gonna work out in the sack." Daryl he just shrugs and wonders that hisself. And they weren't bein' smart asses, they was just puzzled as all get out. Well shit, everyone was.

In the meantime, sumthin' else was afoot. Gladys was apparently not aware that these women was all a might jealous a their men, well shit the men was worse about the ladies, but that's a whole other story. So she's just scopin' out all them fellas, and all them gals is thinkin' if she goes near their man she's gonna wish ta god she never woulda.

She come up ta Daryl and was bein' all flirtatious and what not, and Beth gave her a warnin', she was goin' easy on her only because she's Cindy's sister n all. She grabs the woman by the arm and she tells her, "You stay the hell away from my man or I will beat you so bad your sister in Gatlinburg will feel it." Gladys smartly moved along. Daryl bent down and planted a big ol kiss on Sweet Baby's lips and said, "Thanks for savin' me from that ol hoochie Sweet Baby." And he mighta rubbed her ass, just a little. It was all the fault a them shorts.

Gladys why she even had the nerve ta go sashayin' up ta Merle lookin' all ready for trouble. Her sister grabbed a handful of her hair, pulled it real hard while tellin' her. "Ya get yer own fuckin' man sister, this one here belongs ta me." Merle he kissed Cindy like they was alone in the bedroom, and I swear he copped a feel. Merle he loves his Cindy.

Ol Gladys she cooled it for a while after the incident with Cindy, her head was kinda hurtin'. She got her another drink or two at the bar, where she seemed to be kinda fascinated by Abraham.

Meantime boys n girls, we are at the Hard Times and everyone was over indulgin', ya know, just a little. Or maybe a lot. Hell it ain't polite ta take notice a these things.

Axel passed around a tray covered with shot glasses filled to the brim with Fireball. Yeah, that ain't gonna cause trouble.

The music was playin', everyone was a dancin', rubbin' up on one another, touchin' parts a each other they should probably wait an touch later. Oh they thought they was bein' discreet, but seriously? pft

Tyrese was still just a huggin' up ta Prudence, Axel n Doc Carol was dancin' like they was tryin' ta get pregnant again. Daryl n Sweet Baby, well their dance moves are legendary – he could not keep his hands off the ass of them little shorts and Sweet Baby could not keep her hands off the ass a his jeans. Merle was provin' ta Cindy how much he loved that big ol soft body, Ruby an Oscar was dancing so close it was like they was Velcroed together, and Health was playing tonsil hockey with Giselle. Why everyone seemed to be havin' a real Happy New Year's Eve.

Rosita went to clear some beer bottles off one a the tables, and Abe he'd walked from behind the bar to help deliver more Fireball shots. And as soon as he set that tray down, ah kids, ya can't believe it, Gladys went right over and grabbed that package a his.

His mouth dropped open and Rosita went into action. Ya know how that fiery little gal can get about her Abe, she was out ta kill. Rosita don't take no prisoners. Cindy she was so damn mad she grabbed her own sister and held her while Rosita took a punch, and maybe a kick, but then Gladys got away and started ta hit back, and that was it kids, all them women in that bar was havin' a big ol free for all. Why even little Prudence went right up ta Gladys an threw a haymaker, but before Gladys could swing back, Tyrese had plucked Prudence right up and outta the fray.

Daryl was not lettin' his Sweet Baby get hurt, she was standin' in front a him and he had his arms wrapped tight around her, keepin' her right close.

Now Abe he wasn't gonna let all these women get hurt again, especially not his Rosita, he had big plans ta ring in the New Year with her later. So he went right behind the bar and started up that National Anthem. Everyone stopped, turned ta the flag, and held their hand over their heart.

As soon as they was all done salutin' the country, Cindy took Gladys by the hair a the head and had Abe lock her in the little cleanin' supply closet.

Then the party really got started. Why the Fireball was goin' down and the dancin' was gettin' done. There was feelin' and touchin' and kissin' and huggin'. Then Abe turned the lights down, a horn blew and it was midnight. And boys n girls, the kissin' and the touchin' got kinda dirty, in a real fun way. No wonder Abe turned the lights down.

He had Rosita sittin' up on the bar and he was standin' between her legs and he had her face pulled ta his and he was kissin' her hard. They could hear Gladys bangin on that door tryin' ta get out, and that was just turnin' them on more.

Daryl was sittin' in a chair and Sweet Baby was sittin' in his lap and they was kissin' like the lovebirds they are, and Merle and Cindy was in the chair right next ta them and they was up ta the same thing, when Tyrese and Prudence come up ta them.

Prudence she smiles all sweet and shy and her cheeks are all pink and she says ta Cindy, "I'm sorry ta let you down sister, but I'm only gonna be able ta watch Earl weekdays from 7:30 ta 4:00, while Tyrese is at work. He's gonna want me home with him, and that's where I'm gonna wanna be. I'm movin' in with him."

Now Beth she buried her face in Daryl's chest, she was tryin' not ta laugh out loud, and Daryl why even he was smilin' ear ta ear. They was thinkin' about how their eyes locked that night at the bar, he moved her right in, and they been together ever since. Daryl he's squeezin' her real tight, and they're feelin' all manner of affectionate.

And Little Brother he looks over at Merle an says, "Ya best just hire one a them Nannies."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's exactly how it all happened, I keep telling you, ya can't make this stuff up. Love was in the air at Hard Times. Thanks so much for reading, please comment. Stay safe and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time I see you down at the Mad Dawg I might buy you a frosty one, of course I might not. We'll see. But how about an extra long chapter? :)

Okay now, I know y'all know what night it is. Oh don't be ridiculous, it's not like it don't happen on _practically_ a weekly basis. Ya musta drank too much over the holidays an yer mind's goin'. Okay, I'll give ya a hint, The Dixon Brothers.

That's right, it's Wednesday kids! Time ta get ourselves down ta that little joint, ya know the one, it's over there in the industrial park, next ta the plumbing supply house. The joint stinks like they been recycling diapers in the backroom for like 30 years, and damn it's a filthy mess. Why I can't believe the health department ain't shut it down. Shit maybe they don't even know it's there. Well it don't matter anyway, we ain't goin' for the aesthetic appeal, we're goin' cuz the beers are as frosty as an Eskimo's kiss, and they're cheap, like Christmas wrappin' paper in January, and barkeep? Why he just keeps them frosty ones a comin' 'til ya tell him ta hold up cuz ya gotta go return that crappy tool set yer wife got ya for Christmas, the one she charged up on your Sears card. That, or ya run outta money cuz ya just paid off yer Christmas bills. If that happens, get yer ass out the door, there's other losers wantin' yer stool. Sheesh!

Yeah, that one.

Get it in gear kids times a wastin'!

Merle walked in and there was Baby Brother takin' a refreshin' drink from his brown bottle. Right away Merle was disappointed, Daryl didn't look even a little bit unhappy. Shit, it was Baby Brother's turn ta be miserable. He hated it when the kid didn't follow the bein' miserable rules.

"What're ya lookin' so fuckin' mellow about brother? Little Ballbuster outta town?" Merle was feelin' a might cantankerous. Nuthin' new about that.

"Been a good week is all. Sweet Baby's all happy with her presents, D.J.'s happy with his presents, I'm happy with the lovin' I'm receivin'. I only got one thing makin' me a little melancholy this evenin'."

Now kids, don't ya even dare ta think of tellin' me ya don't know what happened then. That's right, every earball in the joint was pointed right at Young Dixon. And yes, I said earball.

"What's that Little Brother?" Merle he seemed to cheer right up.

"I hate ta have ta get after the guys, give 'em shit n whatnot. I don't mind being Little Boss when it comes ta schedulin' the work an gettin' the work done and out, but damn, ya hate ta have ta get after a guy ya know is up ta the job but he ain't doin' the job." And Little Brother was shakin' his head while everyone, includin' him, took a pull on their brown bottle and looked sufficiently melancholy.

Big Brother asked the question that was on every lowlife mind in the joint, "Who'd ya have ta chew out?"

"Had ta give Tyrese a earful 'bout his lack of attention ta the job at hand, he's too busy thinkin' about the job at home."

Okay now, ya got ta know Merle was smilin' that big ol' smile a his thinkin' perhaps Tyrese was havin' trouble with Prudence, but boys n girls, lemme just say, the problem was more problematic than that.

And everyone, includin' yours truly, took a big swallow, anticipatin' hearin' some damn good scuttlebutt.

"The man's so fuckin' in love all he can do is think about that little Prudence when he's s'posed ta be workin'. I mean I get it, ain't no man more enamored of a woman than I am of my Sweet Baby. But fuck, a man has got ta concentrate on his work so's he can make money and take care of his woman like she deserves. Tyrese, he's so preoccupied thinkin' 'bout showin' Prudence the love, he ain't showin' them jet engines not one bit a love. I can't be puttin' up with that shit."

Well there was only one thing all of us lowlifes could do at that point, we had ta take a big ol' swallow ta show we all felt Young Dixon's pain.

But all y'all know Merle could not let this dog lie, he had ta utter the thought, the question, that everyone had been puzzlin' over since Tyrese and Prudence had hooked up. "Well if we're gonna talk about Tyrese showin' Prudence the love I wanna know just how the fuck he accomplishes showin' her the love. Shit, the man is 6 feet tall and 200 pounds, Prudence ain't 5 foot, and don't weigh 95 pounds. I want someone ta tell me, no wait, I want someone ta show me just how that kinda lovin' works!" Please tell me I don't gotta tell ya, yes kids, them Dixon Boys got ta cacklin' over that, cuz shit, ya gotta admit, it's damn funny ta ponder.

Why ya can't even believe who walked in next, yep, none other than the big man hisself, and he walked right on over ta Daryl.

Older Dixon, he was ready ta jump in with both fists and maybe a foot n a knee, cuz he just assumed Tyrese had a bone ta pick with Little Brother. And just because Merle Dixon liked ta see Daryl suffer a little, he wasn't inclined to allow no other man ta cause that sufferin'. That was his job.

Tyrese he surprised everyone, why he did sumthin' no one had ever done at the Mad Dawg, he bought the house a round. With that one gesture of barroom generosity Tyrese became far and away the most revered personage ta ever set foot in the joint. Why I wouldn't be surprised if they was ta hang a picture a Tyrese right up there on the wall, next ta John Wayne's picture. Shit, John Wayne ain't ever walked in the Mad Dawg an bought anyone a frosty one, now has he?

But I digress.

"I come ta thank ya Little Boss, you were right ta call me out today. I been distracted, ain't been payin' proper attention ta the job. I'ma be my old self from now on, get my work done timely and proper. I can't be losin' my job, I got a house ta take care of and I got my Prudence. I gotta give her a good life. She's my Angel."

Awwww, I tell ya boys an girls, the romance of that right there nearly brought the lowlifes in that stinky ol place ta tears. Why everyone had ta hurry and drown their emotions with a gulp from their frosty one.

xxxx

Daryl walked in that door and there was little ol D.J. playin' with them new trucks, them old trucks, and still fascinated by that train. That Go Diego show was on the TV, Daryl was sure Little Man was gonna be speakin' Spanish before he was speakin' English. "Hey there D.J., Daddy's home, ain't that excitin'?" And little ol D.J. he clapped them tiny hands and he giggled and said, "Daddy." And didn't Daddy just smile all kinds of a proud smile and say, "Ya got me son, anythin' ya want, ya just ask Daddy."

He walked in the kitchen and there was, his Sweet Baby standin' there at the stove, stirrin' up sumthin' delicious. She had on a pair a pants that was fittin' her like a second skin, and he walked right up behind her, slid that open palm up the inside a her thigh, right over there ta that sweet center, that little warm spot he was so damn partial to. He was givin' it a friendly little rub and he leaned over, licked and sucked at her neck, breathed a little warm breath in her ear and whispered, "Hey Sweet Baby, yer man's home and I missed yer sweet self today."

She made that low little moanin' sound he was so fond of, turned around into his arms and said, "I missed you too Big Man, and I was already planning to show you just how much, just as soon as your boy is asleep."

And I don't gotta tell ya they was kissin' on each other like it hadn't just been this mornin', before Daryl went ta work, that they was provin' their love ta one another. And right now well his hand was a wanderin' inta her business, and her hand may just have been messin' around in his business, when Little Ol D.J. toddled right on in that kitchen and declared, "Hungee Mama."

Daddy he bent right over, tickled the little man on the back and said, "Yer lucky ya make me so proud when ya call me Daddy, otherwise I might make ya go ta bed without a story tonight." Now all three a them giggled and clapped over that. Shit, everyone knows how much Daddy loves story time.

Now Daddy and D.J. they was enjoyin' a delicious dinner of chicken gumbo, gettin' their Cajun on, and Sweet Baby, well she ate maybe a bite outta hers, but she had her a big bowl a leafs.

Daryl he told her about havin' ta have a talk with Tyrese, and Tyrese comin' there ta the Mad Dawg and all that stuff. And Sweet Baby she tells him, "Well as wrapped up in her as he is, she's just as crazy in love with him. She calls me every day and just goes on about how wonderful he is. It's real sweet. I don't know Big Man, I'm thinkin' this is the real deal, like when we first got together." Then she smiled that big old smile and said, "Heck, we're still acting like that."

Well hell, if that ain't that the truth.

He loved that woman sittin' there. Why if Little Ol D.J. wasn't sittin' right there enjoyin' his gumbo, Daddy would have her layin' on that kitchen table, ya know, just ta prove his love n all. A man has got ta continually be showin' his woman just how much he loves her. Young Dixon, why he takes his husbandly duty all manner a serious.

She was in there just cleanin' up after all of 'em and chattin' with Cindy on the phone, and he and his man D.J. was havin' quite the discussion about that train. Daryl was enjoyin' the shit outta that right there, even though he never understood nuthin' D.J. said, 'cept 'Daddy' and 'Train'. Ni hao kai lan was playin' on the TV and Daryl was thinkin', it wouldn't be long before he n D.J. was fluent in Spanish and Chinese. Thank you kindly Nick, Jr.

She come in that livin' room and said, "Bath time D.J." And right then Daryl was concerned for his boy, cuz he was happy and excited ta take a bath. He must get that from her side of the family. Then didn't she just smile and say to Daryl, "Daddy, why don't you take your shower so Mama feels like snuggling up to you right after story time?"

Dammit, she'd tricked him. Yeah, yeah, he was gonna wash up real good, even though he was pretty damn sure he was clean enough, and he didn't stink bad either.

But there was no use fightin' it so he done what she said, in a hot hurry, he didn't wanna be late for story time.

Little Man he picked out The Berenstain Bears Go on Vacation. Why that was a favorite of all a theirs. And it was real fittin' and all cuz it wouldn't be long now 'fore the big beach vacation down in Florida. D.J. knew how ta pick 'em.

The story now it was so good, why D.J. he lasted through nearly half of it before he passed right out. Mama and Daddy they crept outta that room and hurried into their own. They was feelin' mighty frisky tonight.

He was a kissin' on Sweet Baby with his hand strategically placed up her shirt. She was a kissin' him right back while she was expertly unbucklin' his belt. Pretty quick they just said the hell with it and they both ripped their own clothes off quick as could be, and jumped on that bed.

And they was a nibblin' and a suckin' and a kissin' and a touchin' and a feelin', andd havin' all manner of fun an excitement, when Sweet Baby caught him by surprise. That's right, she started kissin' on that six pack a his, and she was headed south. Now Daryl he was wonderin' what it was Sweet Baby wanted, he thought she was happy as could be. Not that he was complainin' or anythin'.

So now she's got her sweet little mouth close to the target, which she has a nice grip on, when she looks up to him and she gives him that sweet little innocent smile, and she asks him, "Do you know what would be a really good idea Big Man."

Now it's all our man can do not ta laugh, but shit kids, that would ruin the moment and whatnot. So he just smiles right back whilst he's runnin' a hand along her pretty little face, an he asks, "What's that Sweet Baby, what would be a really good idea?"

And she looks at him all serious like n says, "If after we get back from our vacation we try for another baby."

Now that caught the man by surprise, but he was thinkin' fast, he put his hands under her little arms and he pulled her up to him, so they was face ta face. He looked at her all serious right back, and he said, "Ya wanna have a baby Sweet Baby, that right there ain't how ya make one. Let me and the Bad Boy show ya what ya gotta do."

And he rolled her right over and he showed her real good just what a man and his woman gotta do ta get a baby, and she appreciated every bit a that lesson.

By the time they was both equally educated and sated, they was layin' there on the floor way over near the bathroom, and he wrapped her up in his arms, and she laid her little head on his chest and he was smilin' ta hisself when he said, "I told ya all along, if ya want another baby, then that's what I want too. Ya know I live ta make ya happy Sweet Baby."

But none a that is even what I come here ta tell ya about! Shit, ya know how I get all distracted and whatnot. I blame Daryl's arms, but whatever.

Anyway so Saturday, guess where we're all goin'? That's right, Heath and Giselle's weddin'. Well boy howdy we're gonna have us a big time, large fun.

Ya know it's gonna be at that real fancy, real, real pricey hotel down in Atlanta, and it's black tie. That's right kids. All our boys n girls is gonna be wearin' tuxedos and snazzy gowns.

Now Daryl n Merle, ya know they was pretty sure Mrs. Big Boss had planned this all just so the boys wouldn't come. But she obviously didn't think about the fact that, shit, the women never ever get a chance ta get their men all swanked up in tuxedos n whatnot, and they all get ta get new gowns and shoes, and purses, and fancy hairdos, the whole nine yards.

Shit, them boys is goin' if their women got ta drag 'em there kickin' and screamin' every inch a the way.

Now Daryl he had ta be in attendance anyway. For reasons he couldn't comprehend Heath had asked him ta be his best man. Sweet Baby she told him it was an honor and a privilege and he had to do it. Fuck. Why couldn't he just wear his dang black jeans and almost new black shirt?

Hell if it was my weddin' he was comin' to, I wouldn't give a flyin' fuck what he wore! But again, I have deviated from the story.

So now, Daryl bein' the high class fella he is and all, he'd rented a room right at that fancy, pricey hotel, which meant a course cheap ass Merle had to or his Cindy would skin him alive.

Well the other boys, ya know, they'd tried ta get away with Motel 6 an such as that. But oh that was not happenin', not when their women caught wind a the fact that Little Boss and Sweet Baby was stayin' at the fancy joint. Shit, Little Boss was costin' everyone a shitload a money. But Little Boss cheered 'em all right up when he pointed out ta them just how happy and fulla gratitude their women was gonna be. Surely they'd be anxious to express that gratitude.

Well that does put a pleasant spin on things, now don't it?

Course Mama and Daddy Greene come for D.J. early Saturday mornin', they was anxious ta get their spoilin' started. D.J. he was willin' ta go right along with that, sheesh, he knows where his next bowl a vanilla ice cream is comin' from.

Ruby's Mama had agreed ta spendin' the night at Merle n Cindy's place and spoilin' little ol Earl.

So our four Dixons were off to Atlanta first thing, lookin' for big fun in the big city.

The hotel musta designated the fourth floor as Redneck Central cuz by golly, that's where we all were. Well Doc only qualified cuz she was all committed up to Axel, otherwise they probably wouldn't a stuck her with the rednecks. But she seemed to enjoy the company.

The ladies was all squeezin' inta them dresses, and the fellas was all grumblin' bout puttin' on them monkey suits. Daryl he'd gone along with it all on one condition, no fuckin' bowtie. Sometimes a man has got ta take a stand. Sweet Baby smiled and told him he looked so hot she was afraid he'd catch fire. That made him feel a little better.

Merle didn't give even one rat's ass what he had to wear, it was a open bar and he was thirsty. Cindy was in full agreement. Oh and lordy kids, ya shoulda seen that dress she had on.

I ain't gotta tell ya it was two sizes too small – tighter than a gnat's ass stretched across a rain barrel. And a course, ya would expect nuthin' less than a lot a big ol' jewel lookin' things there at the top, encasing just a small portion a them gigantic titties, which were naturally tryin' ta free themselves outta what ya might call the deep V neckline. My favorite part a the whole ensemble was the slit all the way up the front a one leg. Practically right up in her business it was. Well then a course, there was the shoes. Why I's surprised Cindy didn't get a nosebleed from bein' perched up so high.

Merle thought she looked like a million fuckin' bucks. The man loves him some Cindy.

Oh man kids, I can't lie to ya, this damn weddin' was fancy schmancy. Holy Mole that area where the ceremony was? Ya ain't never seen so many flowers and bows and golden thingies, and candles, 980,000 candles if there was one. I ain't kiddin'!

That fancy area that was s'pose ta be the altar? It had what looked ta be gold lame all on the floor there, and there was some manner a big arch thing. Well you get the picture, it was over the top.

The guys was all pleased ta meet Heath's Mama n Daddy. They was real salt a the earth type folks. They also looked uncomfortable as all get out in this crazy ass display a ostentatiousness. But Mrs. Big Boss likely didn't give a fuck what they thought, she was busy puttin' on the dog.

Now Mrs. Big Boss, I know I told ya this before kids, her taste in clothes runs all parallel with Cindy's, 'cept her clothes cost a lot more cash. And whereas Cindy's titties are gigantic, them girls are the real deal. Mrs. Big Boss's oversized titties come right from the doctor's office.

But I'm gettin' off topic.

So anyway, Mrs. Big Boss's dress was shiny and shimmerin' from head ta toe, or tittie ta ankle, whatever. It was anyone's guess whether it was cut lower in the front or the back. I swear boys n girls, that plungin' neckline plunged clear on down ta her navel region, while the back plunged ta the crack. And that rhymes cuz I am somewhat of a poet kids.

The thing was though, Big Boss he was havin' some trouble keepin' his big ol cheatin' eyeballs offa Cindy. That's right, Cindy! And if ya think for one minute Merle Dixon didn't notice that, then shit, I'm worried ya don't really know Merle. And let's consider the nature a my friend Merle for a minute, yep he can get a might volatile, especially about his Cindy. Merle ain't sharin', not now, not ever, and God help the man, or woman, that tries ta beat his time.

Oh, and I almost forgot ta tell ya, Abe he was representin' for Scotland, yep full dress kilt, and Rosita, she was lookin' all hot, Latin n spicy. They was already havin' trouble keepin' their hands offa one another's cultures.

So meantime, let's have a ceremony and get these kids all married up.

Giselle, bless her sweet little heart, she'd let her Mama have her way about a lotta this b.s., but she drew the line at certain things. There were not 12 bridesmaids and 12 groomsmen. Nope, much ta Mrs. Big Boss's unhappiness there was just the maid of honor and the best man.

The maid of honor was a sweet lookin' young girl Giselle's age. Apparently they'd gone through school together. She was wearin' a simple gold color long gown, with a modest neckline. That modest neckline really made her stand out in this crowd. Other than that, the girl was sweet but plain lookin'. That did not stop Sweet Baby from havin' a major twinge of jealousy at the sight of her fly husband lookin' hotter than the hubs a hell, walkin' down that aisle with another woman.

Sweet little Prudence had an arm around Sweet Baby's waist, Cindy had one around her shoulder. I wasn't sure if they was tryin' ta calm her, or keep her from attackin'. I guess we'll never know.

It did ease her pain when her Big Man glanced over and give her a tiny smile an a wink.

Heath was up there on that gold lame what-ever-the-fuck thingy, just waitin' for his pretty bride, and here she come up the aisle hangin' on Daddy's arm, but not takin' her eyes offa that husband-to-be up there, just a waitin' on her. He hisself was smilin' big, takin' in the sight of his woman.

Now Mrs. Big Boss had also lost the battle of the bride's dress. What convinced her ta back down was when Giselle said, "Fine, Heath and I will just go down to the courthouse and get married there." Well that made her Mama see things Giselle's way.

So let me just say, unlike anythin' I'm sure her Mama ever wore, the dress was simple and modest. It was tulle, I like that stuff, had them little cap sleeves and what they call a sweetheart neckline with some lace all around that particular area. Not a tittie in sight. The skirt of it had a real nice drape, not a bit a puffy to it. And just a hint of Baby Heath was showin' in the tummy region. She looked real pretty.

Thank God the ceremony part was brief, the crew was dry as a bone and needin' refreshments in a major way.

Everyone was enjoyin' their adult beverages, 'cept Giselle, she was enjoying a glass a orange juice and showin' the ladies her beautiful weddin' ring. Daryl and Merle give each other a meaningful look when they seen it was the pretty little band with the small heart shaped diamond. Good girl.

I ain't gotta tell ya, I know I don't cuz you've partied with this crowd before. There was some very serious attention bein' paid ta gettin' their drink on. And a course, the more our boys and girls drink the more they like ta drink. And then there's everyone's very romantic nature. They like ta be touchin', coppin' a friendly little feel here an there. Or a major feel when they think no one is lookin' – remember kids, I warned ya before, someone is ALWAYS lookin' – and this evenin' was no different. It didn't matter how fancy the fancy schmancy hotel was. Anyway, all the Big Boss friends was on the other side a ballroom. Buncha stiffs missin' out on the real party.

There was a fancy dinner spread and all, but who the hell has time for food when yer drinkin' and fondling?

Now Rosita she seemed to be checking ta see exactly what it is that men wear under a kilt. Abe didn't seem ta have one bit of a problem with that. Axel n Doc had disappeared somewhere for a while and when they showed back up, Doc's hair was lookin' a little mussed and her dress was a might wrinkled, and hell one side a Axel's mustache had drooped and his bow tie was disappeared, but they still made a nice lookin' pair. Oscar n Ruby was doin' sumthin' they seemed ta think was dancin', but the moves would put ya in mind of sumthin' else entirely. You get the picture.

Now big ol' Tyrese had tiny little Prudence backed up to a wall and her hand was somewhere in his southern hemisphere, whilst he was kissin' on her like he was a drowning man and she was oxygen. The fellas couldn't help a look, they was all shakin' their heads, still puzzlin' bout how that lovin' thing worked out for those two.

Now Young Dixon, he had consumed enough beverages that he got in the mood ta do a little dancin' with Sweet Baby. That just puts a smile ta my face cuz I ain't gotta tell ya kids, you've seen 'em. Why that ain't dancin' at all, but it does look like a good time. He's hangin' onto her tight little ass, and she's a hangin' onto his muscled ass, and it would be impossible for them ta get any closer, or rub up ta one another any more. Why if they didn't have their clothes on, she coulda got pregnant right there on that dance floor.

Now remember the bride n groom? Ya know, the reason we're all here and all. Shit, they disappeared halfway through dinner. They ain't got time for all this crap here, they got a honeymoon ta practice for!

But yet again, I have strayed from the story.

Now Merle has become more n more, shall we say agitated? Big Boss cannot seem to remove his eyes from the sight of Cindy's gimongous titties, and that leg openin' leadin' up ta her nether regions. It does appear the man is twitterpatted.

Mrs. Big Boss she is oblivious, cuz she has found herself a target on the other side a the room.

I don't know what the fuck Big Boss was thinkin', but he come a walkin' toward Cindy's locale with his arm out and a open palm, ready ta take a little feel a sumthin'.

Well a course that didn't happen. Instead what he got was a snarlin' Merle Dixon grabbin' him right up offa the floor by the lapels and that tuxedo jacket, slammin' him up against the wall. Now ya know, the boys had formed a circle around that action there, Big Boss may be the boss, but Merle was their people and also Little Boss's Big Brother. And Baby Brother, why his fists were pumpin', I mean because when the shit gets down kids, ya ALWAYS take up for yer brother. Even if he is about ta kill yer boss.

Have ya ever seen Merle Dixon's jealous, scowlin' face? Holy crap, if that don't scare the beans right outta ya, nuthin' ever will. Anyway, he's got Big Boss pinned up against that wall and he growls right at him, ya know, kinda gettin' some spit in his face n all, "I understand man, I really fuckin' do. I got the hottest fuckin' wife on this planet or any other, but key word right there muther fucker is **_I_ **got her. Ya ever even think about checkin' her out again I will pummel yer ass so deep inta the ground they'll never find ya. Only thing savin' ya right now is my generous and understandin' nature, cuz I get how a man could be so taken by my Cindy he might wanna get ta know her better, but only God can help the dumb sumbitch that tries."

Then Merle stuck a knee up right between Big Boss's legs, and he mighta accidentally kinda and all, dropped Big Boss down hard on that knee. Big Boss's junk was no doubt pushed up somewhere in the vicinity of his belly button.

Big Boss he slinked on over ta the other side a ballroom, holdin' hands over that particular area a his anatomy that was hurtin' like a sumbitch.

Our crew returned ta their drinkin', touchin', feelin' and xxx-rated dancin'. They was all pretty relieved they didn't just lose their job on account a Big Boss bein' a Horny Dumbass that Merle had ta kill.

Merle and Cindy had sat their selves down at one a them dinner tables. Cindy she was so impressed by her big handsome husband and his love for her, she may have been givin' his lower region some serious luvin', with an expert hand, right under that very table. His hand was explorin' ta see just exactly where that split in her dress led, and his fingers may a been wanderin' around somewhere up there. Well whatever was goin' on, they seemed to be appreciatin' each other's affections.

When the party was breakin' up everyone took one last drink from the bar up ta the 4th Floor. They all said goodnight in the hallway there, and not 10 minutes later I swear ta the almighty ya woulda thought it was a earthquake. The whole fuckin' floor was shakin' n rockin'. All a them rednecks busy gettin' busy was causin' the very foundation of the joint ta sway.

In the mornin' Young Dixon was assessin' the damages he and Sweet Baby had caused right there in that fancy hotel room. Let's see now, Sweet Baby seemed to have developed a particular hatred toward shirt buttons, well men's shirts in general, well Daryl's shirts in particular. He'd be havin' ta pay that tux rental joint for the shirt. He didn't know if the hotel was gonna charge for the broken lamp, oh yeah and the broken chair, or what.

But he really couldn't give a fuck less. He was layin' there on that floor, over by the door. His Sweet Baby was asleep with her head on his shoulder, crazy blond curls everywhere and he was smilin'. He loved his Sweet Baby, and she loved him. He was one happy man.

Money ain't everythin', money's just money kids. That's the only thing I come here ta tell ya. Just takes me a while ta get ta the point n whatnot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had a little fun. I thank you for reading and would enjoy reading your comments. Thank you, Love ya large kids! xo gneebee


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, I just wanna thank you for reading along. Now let's check in on The Brothers.

Now I know all y'all know what night this is, c'mon, quit yer teasin', I know ya had it marked down. That's right boys an girls, it's Wednesday! Now why don't ya remind me, what is it we do on Wednesday night? Go ta the Laundromat? Or the car wash? Or the grocery? Hell no!

Well we might stop at the grocery if we run outta Cheetos, but that would be the only reason.

Aw you guys, I see yer in the mood ta give me a hard time, pretend ya don't know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Well that's just fine, ya go on ahead and play like that, you'll be the ones missin' out. Me? Shit, I'll be down there in that industrial area, sittin' in that smelly ass little tavern, there next ta the plumbin' supply store where Older Dixon buys his wares.

I know y'all know where it's at. I seen ya in there, don't try'n pretend I ain't. Why the joint smells like they're bakin' cow pies and road apples in the that back room, and plenty of 'em. And I don't think no one's bothered ta sweep the joint out since the day it opened, 'bout 60 years ago. It used ta have windows, but they're so fuckin' dirty no one's been able ta see outta one in like 30 years. But hey, it's an industrial area, what is it ya think ya need ta see out there? Besides, we ain't goin' for the aroma and the view, are we now? Fuck no, we're goin' cuz the beer's frosty as a polar bear's ass, and cheap, like WalMart costume jewelry, and barkeep he just keeps settin' em up, 'til ya tell him ta quit cuz ya gotta get on home 'fore the wife kills yer ass, or yer wallet runs so dry it turns ta dust. If that happens get yer ass on outta here, yer takin up valuable real estate.

That's right smarty, while yer playin' yer little game and draggin' yer ass, I'll be down at the Mad Dawg throwin' back frosty ones with them Dixon Brothers!

Daryl walked in and he seen Big Brother already settin' on his regular stool, why he had that brown bottle turned straight up and he was pourin' that sweet elixir right down his throat. Why it didn't even appear he bothered ta swallow. And shit, was that a double jack in front of him? And what the fuck, was that Big Brother's eye a twitchin'? Oh shit, oh dear.

Now Young Dixon was feelin' a might worried 'bout the man, this here? Why it looked every kind of bad. So bein' the big ol' sweet sensitive fella that he is and all, Daryl went right over ta his Big Brother, clapped him hard on the back and said, "What the fuck's the matter with you dumbass?"

Older Dixon now he didn't even look up, he just picked that jack up offa that bar and he took it right down in one gulp. Didn't even bat an eye. Man's a professional. Ya gotta admire him.

Now all a them lowlifes why they was anticipatin', ears was perked and hearts were happy, they just could hardly wait ta hear what sorta misery had befallen Merle Dixon. Me now I took a big swallow from my frosty one, right along with the rest of 'em, but mostly I's worried for Merle, but that's just me, hell everyone knows I got a little tender spot in my heart for that man.

But there, I've fallen off track again. Just admirin' me some Dixon Boys kids, don't get all pissy now.

"It's my Cindy. Brother, she told me she don't want no more kids, one's enough for her n me, and she got all manner a feisty with me and said, 'goddammit that's that.' That's what she said." And by then barkeep he'd set both Dixon's up with a frosty one and Merle with another double jack. Cuz I know ya know, barkeep's a professional too. Why the joint is literally crawlin' with professional types.

Now Little Brother, he's all manner a confused and he lets it be known, "Well shit, I didn't think either one of ya wanted more kids. I thought y'all decided babies didn't come no more perfect than Little Ol' Earl, and that you was gettin' outta the baby makin' business."

Seemed reasonable ta us lowlifes, so we all nodded and took a swallow from our brown bottle.

"Well yeah, that part, me and my Cindy was all in agreement over that part, but last night when there was a mishap, seemed it was some sorta rupture in the raincoat, Cindy got all bent outta shape and she said it, 'Merle ya get yer ass to the Doc n ya get yourself fixed!' Just like that she said it. Scared the fuckin' piss right outta me." And quick as that, boom, my man Merle had gulped down that second double shot a jack and that frosty one. Don't worry kids, barkeep set fresh ones up right quick.

And Young Dixon, and hell everyone else in the stinky ass joint, took a pull on their own frosty one.

"Well shit Merle how bad can it be Brother? I mean a lotta guys get that snip job. I ain't heard a no one dyin' from it yet. Course I s'pose there's a first time for everythin'."

Well there is that, we all shrugged and nodded and took another swallow.

"Yeah well I just ain't sure how I feel bout Doc grabbin' hold a my tallywhacker with a knife in her hand, what if she slips and cuts the sumbitch off? Then what, huh?"

And the very image a that there happenin' caused everyone in the joint ta suck the entire contents of their brown bottle right down. Well and let's just be honest here boys n girls, it was just a natural thing, everyone had ta just put their hand down there, give a quick rub and make sure everythin' was still intact.

Since I didn't have nuthin' that needed double checkin', I just enjoyed the shit outta watchin' them Dixons check on theirs.

I know, I know…

**xxxx**

He walked in the door and there was Little Ol' D.J. just happy as a little clam playin' with all a them trucks. The train well it's broke, Daddy has it out in the shed, gonna have ta take it apart n fix it. I ain't expectin' no problem with that, seems if a man can build a jet engine he'll figure a train out. And it seemed fittin' Thomas was on the TV, Daryl liked that show his own self.

"Hey there son, Daddy's home, ain't that excitin'?" And D.J., bein' as how he's the happiest baby on all the earth, he clapped them little hands, giggled n said, "Daddy." And didn't Daddy just pick him right up, give him a big ol' snuggle n say, "I don't care what yer dumbass Uncle Merle says, it's you, yer the most perfect baby in the world son, don't ya never let no one tell ya any different. An don't tell Mama I said dumbass to ya."

He walked in that kitchen and she was standing there at the stove, wearin' them tight little jeans that had the sparkle things on the back pockets. He liked them pants.

He come up behind her and he slid that open palm up the inside a her thigh, right on over ta the center, that special little spot that was his and his alone. He was kissin' on her neck and he said, "I'm sorry Sweet Baby, I can't do it."

Well a course now Sweet Baby she turned right around into his arms, "What Big Man? What in the world are you talking about? What can't you do?" Sweet Baby she was a little shook up.

"I can't let Doc knife the Bad Boy."

Confusion reached epic levels for Sweet Baby. "What are you talking about Daryl Dixon? You tell me right now."

And he gave her the Cliff's Notes on Merle, Cindy, Earl, the Rupture in the Raincoat and the Knife to the the Tallywhacker.

Now Sweet Baby she could see her Big Man was havin' a helluva time right here. She wrapped one arm round him, had her other hand somewhere down in his personal parts territory, and she give what she found down there a lovin' little squeeze. She looked in Young Dixon's eyes and she asked, "Big Man do you really think I'd ever let anyone bring harm to the Bad Boy?"

Now Daryl he was so relieved he could hardly control that relief and his mouth why it practically dived down onto her mouth, and they was just a kissin' like they was on fire, and Sweet Baby continued to demonstrate her love and carin' for the Bad Boy, and Young Dixon why he was showin' her Sweet Little Self just how much love he had for her southern territory, when D.J. toddled right on in and said, "Hungee Mama."

Now Daddy he bent right down and he give his boy's side there a tickle and he told him, "Now see there son? Daddy's takin' you n Mama ta Florida this weekend, gonna stay a whole week. And now son, just cuz yer messin' up Daddy's good time I'ma make ya take two naps a day while yer there, and I get to play with Mama all by myself."

And Little Ol' D.J. he just clapped them little hands and he giggled, cuz shit kids, who wouldn't wanna go ta the beach with Big Man and Sweet Baby? Sheesh

He was packing up the back end a that Grand Cherokee with everythin' just like she told him. He was mighty worried he was gonna have ta get the trailer outta the shed there was so much shit. Most of it belonged to D.J. and Daryl could not figure that out. He said to his boy, "Ya ain't no bigger'n a minute, how can ya have so much stuff son? Ain't ya ever heard a travelin' light? When I start takin' ya huntin' ya can't be takin' all this crap."

D.J. he was a gigglin' and a clappin' and Sweet Baby said, "Daryl Dixon watch your language in front of your son. And by the time I let D.J. go hunting with you, I don't think he'll have a stroller and a pack and play anymore."

Daryl he just mumbled, "Thank God."

Finally they was on their merry way and everyone was in a real cheerful state a mind. D.J. he was back there in his car seat and a Disney movie was playin' on that little screen. Little Man was just tryin' his very best ta sing along with them songs. Big Man he was enjoyin' the shit outta that right there.

They arrived at the little rental house and Young Dixon was feelin' mighty relieved, Sweet Baby seemed ta approve. It was small but it was just right for them for a week. It sat right there on the beach, and just two blocks away was a fun lookin' little joint, one a them open beachy kinda drinkin' and eatin' establishments.

Did I do okay Sweet Baby? "You did just right Daryl, it's perfect."

That's when our man had ta do the unpackin', which is worse than the packin', but not as bad as the repackin', but we ain't gotta worry about that for several days.

He brung the cooler and the bags a eats to the kitchen, he brung in D.J.s stuff and he put it in the little bedroom, brung in their stuff and set it in the slightly bigger bedroom, got out that shade canopy thing, the beach chairs, D.J.'s beach toys, the beach towels and the four types of sunscreen.

Finally underneath all a that was the cooler and the box with the important shit, the shit he'd packed first so's he'd be sure there was room. That's right boys n girls, the beer, the jack and the two boxes a wine.

Thank God that little store was only two blocks away, just in case they needed ta go on a supply run.

"My watch says it's beer thirty Sweet Baby, can I get ya some wine? And how bout you D.J., are ya in need of a refreshin' juice box?"

Why everyone seemed to be in agreement, they could all stand ta have a beverage.

And it was then that his Sweet Baby surprised the Holy Livin' Crap right outta our boy Daryl. Why she grabbed a nice chunk of his backyard, right there toward the center, and she said, "Maybe we should get D.J. a nice snack, and then maybe read a story, and just maybe he'll get all sleepy. If that was to happen you and the Bad Boy could give me a tour of that master bedroom." And she smiled that real innocent, all sweetness n light smile right at him. Y'all know the one I mean, the "I ain't never…

Yeah nevermind, y'all know.

Now Daryl he was gonna make this happen, so while Sweet Baby was fixin' him and Little Man that snack, he tells his boy, "Now son, I don't like ta have ta get tough with ya, but you was naughty the other night when ya interrupted Mama and Daddy's playtime. Couldn't ya just be patient son? Think about Daddy's needs?"

"So now I know I told ya I's gonna make ya take two naps a day on vacation, and that starts now, right after yer snack, and a story. That's that and ain't no use arguin' with Daddy." And Daddy rubbed that boy's sweet little head and he give them curls a little kiss, and didn't that little fella just start ta clappin' an gigglin' n sayin' "Daddy."

She give Daryl a nice ham sandwich with some Cheetos, and D.J. he had a nice plate a chunked up ham and oranges and grapes. And Sweet Baby, well she had an orange.

They's all so damn happy ta get their vacation started and Daddy he was tellin' D.J. what all kinda fun they was gonna have, gonna go ta turtle island, on account a Mama just loves turtles, gonna swim with dolphins, hell might even go ta the 'glades n ride on a airboat, if Mama says we can. And D.J. he was just so happy about all this news, but soon he's rubbin' them little eyes and a yawnin' and when Mama said it's story time Daddy was happy as a pig in shit, for more than one reason. Seriously, stories and lovin'? That there is hard ta beat.

They was readin' Green Eggs n Ham, Daddy just loves that Dr. Seuss guy, and D.J. why he only made it 'bout, oh, a third a the way through and boom, lights out.

Now Daryl he just went right ta his Sweet Baby and picked her right up and it was all she could do not ta start laughin' right there in D.J.'s room.

Young Dixon he carried her directly on into that master bedroom, and boys n girls they was on vacation there at the beach n all, so they didn't hardly have no clothes on that needed takin' off. That's a real good thing there cuz, well I ain't gotta tell ya, Big Man n Sweet Baby is short on patience when it comes ta gettin' each other naked.

And Young Dixon he was in a playful kinda vacation mood and he picked her up and he bounced her there right on the bed and bounced his ownself right there above her, an he was all kissin' on her lips and he was all kissin' on her neck, and pretty soon he was all kissin' on that perfect little tittie. And his hand was all messin' around in her business, and her hand was all on his business and they was a just a kissin', and a touchin, and a rubbin', and a lickin', and a suckin', and why even gigglin', cuz they're havin' large fun on their vacation.

Now Daryl he fumbles for that raincoat, cuz Sweet Baby she said AFTER vacation they was gonna try, and then he introduced her to the Bad Boy, just in case she forgot him since last night, and then he went to roll her over and they went right offa that double bed – they was used ta havin' a bit more room – and Big Man his shoulder crashed right into the dresser, cuz the quarters was tight. But he was feelin' all manner of amorous so he barely felt a thing – well that, and let's remember kids, he's Daryl Fuckin' Dixon - and then they rolled over the other way and Sweet Baby, her cute little ass banged right into that night table, and Daryl bein' a fine example of a lovin' and carin' husband, Southern Gentleman n whatnot, why he paused what he was doin' long enough ta kiss it better. Then they resumed their activities as though nuthin' had gone amiss. Why they was rockin' and rollin', and bobbin an weavin', and bumpin' and grindin', and livin' and lovin'.

Why they was havin' theirselves a wonderful time.

Bein' gentlemanly an all, Big Man made sure Sweet Baby got hers like two or four times, before he got his. Now when they was done they was both pretty battered n bruised, but they was all snugglin' an lovin' each other, all manner a smilin' and happy.

Daryl he give her a big ol' lovin kiss and he said, "Sweet Baby you're the best fuckin' thing ever happened ta me an I love ya large. I'm a lucky sumbitch."

And didn't she smile up at the Big Man, give him a big ol' smooch and say, "Men don't come any better than you Big Man, and I love you more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading y'all! Please leave a comment. I'll see ya next chapter, and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see what our favorite lowlifes and miscreants are up to. And of course the Brothers. Because let's face it kids, we're all about those Dixon Boys!

Hey kids! Did ya miss me? I missed the shit right outta all y'all! Where ya been? I been at the same ol' place, doing the same ol same ol thing I always do. That's right, been hangin' out at the Mad Dawg with the other lowlifes and miscreants.

Well them guys, and then there's the two finest lookin' men in all the land, yep, the Dixon Brothers.

What? Now yer all pissed off on accounta I didn't bring ya with me? Didn't tell ya no stories? I'm sorry, I was busy gettin' my drink on kids. Real busy.

And anyways, I'm about ta make it all up to ya. Right here and right now.

Because I know all y'all know what night it is. That's right boys n girls, it's Wednesday! I'm thinkin' y'all still remember what that means.

Oh don't be teasin' and playin' hard ta get. Ya tried that last chapter. It didn't work then and it ain't gonna work now. So let's just all kiss and make up and get our buns on down ta the Mad Dawg.

You remember where it is, the dive ain't moved. Still over there in that industrial area, next to the plumbing supply. Yer nose can lead ya there, joint smells like a thousand mackerel died in the back room, 'bout three weeks ago, and it's been blazin' hot. Yep, the aroma has festered up.

But we don't worry about a little stench, do we kids? Hell no. Cuz the beers, well they're as frosty as a snowman's ass, and cheap as Valentine candy on February 15th. And Barkeep, bein's he's a professional and all, why he just keeps settin' 'em down. He don't like no one goin' thirsty, the man don't believe in it. It's kinda like a spiritual thing. 'Cept if ya tell him ya gotta rush out n get ta the kid's ball game, or ya run outta money. If that happens, well ya know the drill, get yer big dumb ass out the door. Some other big dumb ass is waitin' on yer stool!

Yeah that place.

Merle walked in that stinky little joint and he was all proud. Had him a new hat Cindy give him for bein' so damn brave.

He walked right over ta Baby Brother, right after Daryl had just took a big ol pull outta his brown bottle. Yeah well Daryl looked up, seen that hat and that beer come just a shootin' right back outta his mouth.

A waste of perfectly good beer that right there was.

But ya can't blame Young Dixon, ain't really his fault. Cuz that hat, well what it said was, "Kiss Me, I had a Vasectomy."

Once Daryl had recovered from his spit take both them brothers just got ta cacklin' like the big ol' lovable dumbasses that they are.

I tell ya ladies, well gents too I s'pose, ain't much I can think of that's cuter than Daryl Dixon laughing. Aw and it's a sweet sound. And them arms…*sigh* But I am deviatin' from the story.

And Little Brother, well he had ta ask, it was the question on every lowlife mind in the joint. So he asked Older Dixon, "Doc didn't slip n cut yer tallywhacker did she?"

And every lowlife ear in the joint, includin' mine, was on high alert, just waitin' ta hear the gruesome news. Kinda checkin' on the condition a their own packages, just for a minute, not doin' nuthin' lewd. 'Cept me, I ain't gotta worry 'bout that. Ain't got one a them packages. And we all took us a big ol' pull on our brown bottle.

Merle he just got that big ol shit eatin' grin on his face, y'all know the one I'm talkin' 'bout, and he said, "Nah, she just stroked it real nice, like she kinda liked the look and feel of the thing."

And Young Dixon punched him real hard right in the arm and he said, "Damn yer a dumb mutha fucker Merle. Axel hears ya talk like that about his Doc he's gonna kill yer ass."

And Merle he was still just a grinnin' and he said, "Yeah well I ain't worried 'bout skinny little Axel."

"Oh yeah ya dumbass? Well how 'bout skinny Axel's conceal carry permit? And how 'bout skinny Axel's .38 snub nose revolver? Ya got enough sense ta worry 'bout any a that?" And boys n girls, that question there, well it did give Merle pause ta consider the possibility that what Axel lacked in size he made up for in firepower.

And we all took a big ol' swallow from our frosty one as we considered the consequences of sayin' off color things 'bout Doc.

Probably best we change the subject.

"So how 'bout you Baby Brother? Little Ballbuster lettin' ya wear them balls yerself this week."

"Don't ya worry yerself none about my balls or my Sweet Baby, dumbass. The balls are hangin' just fine, and My Sweet Baby knows how ta keep me a happy man, and I know how ta keep my Sweet Baby a happy woman."

Everyone liked Young Dixon real well and all, 'cept when he was all rubbin' it in 'bout Sweet Baby. Makin' 'em all jealous an whatnot. Bastard.

"So ya in the baby makin' business again?" Now that set the ears on peak performance, cuz everyone a them lowlife's enjoyed hearin' about Sweet Baby. Even if they was pea soup green with envy.

And we all took a big gulp from our frosty one, hopin' for sumthin' rated XXX.

Ya know, everyone lives kinda vicariously (yeah, I know some a them big words) through ol' Daryl there. If they couldn't have a taste, they wanted to at least hear more about how good it was. Problem is he ain't never really told anythin'. Yep, he's a huge disappointment ta the rest a the clientele. Bastard.

"Nah, my Sweet Baby she wants ta wait 'til after the Valentine's Day party. Says she wants me ta get her sweet little ass drunk on champagne, wants ta dance, wants ta have all manner a good times and celebratin'. The public kind n the private kind. I ain't one ta disappoint my Sweet Baby."

Bastard.

xxxx

He walked in the front door and there was little ol' D.J. just a playin' with them trucks there on the floor, and the train. Daddy had fixed that train up and it was chuggin' right along. Toot Toot!

Some crazy ass show was on the TV. Sumthin' called Doc McStuffin's. Apparently the kid in it is hallucinatin' that she's a doc. Whatever, D.J. seemed ta dig it.

"Hey there Little Man, Daddy's home, ain't that excitin'?"

And sweet little ol D.J. he got ta clappin' and a gigglin' and he said it, right then he did, "Daddy home."

Why Daddy he went right to his boy and he scooped him right up, and he told him, "Son, yer a damn genius, that's all there is to it boy. Don't tell Mama I said damn to ya, K? She don't like when I cuss in front of ya n shit."

He walked in that kitchen an there was his Sweet Baby standing there at that stove, fixin' him sumthin' real delicious for dinner.

And he walked right up there behind her, and he slid that open palm up the inside a her thigh, right over there ta that sweetest of all spots, his favorite destination. And he give that spot a real lovin' kind a rub, just showin' how much he cares n all. Because kids, it's important a man let his woman know how much he is desirin' of her affections.

And he got down and he nuzzled on that neck, took just a soft little nibble, then he kissed it, then he sucked on it, and then he licked it, well ya get the picture. Adn he said ta her, "I missed ya sumthin' fierce today Sweet Baby. Got me a bad hunger and it ain't for food."

And she turned right around there in his arms, and she looked up at him with those big ol' baby blues and her sweet little hand, well it had found it's very own way down south there. You know the area. And she told him, "I'm pretty darn hungry myself Big Man."

Damn it got hot in that kitchen. They was kissin' each other like that might ease their hunger, but nah, it was makin' matters more intense. And they was a pettin', and a rubbin, and shit kids, it was like they was gonna do it right there in the kitchen!

And that's when little ol D.J. come a walkin' in an he declared, "Hungee Mama."

And Daddy, well he bent right down and he tickled Little Man right there behind his knee, and he said ta the boy, "Now I realize the true extent of yer hate for me son. It ain't nice. Daddy don't try n ruin yer fun, now does he?"

And little ol' D.J. he got ta clappin' and gigglin' and he obviously did not give one single fuck whose good time he mighta ruined.

Children can be a selfish bunch.

At least she had made him one a his very best favorite dinners. Fried pork chops, homemade mac n cheese and cornbread. Well yeah, there was broccoli, but who eats that shit? Well besides Sweet Baby?

And he and D.J. they was just a scarfin' that grub down fast as they could get fork ta mouth, and he told her. "Sweet Baby yer the finest cook a goin', why me an D.J. is lucky ta have ya, ain't we son?"

And D.J. he just shoveled in a big ol' mouthful a that mac n cheese while he was noddin' his little head.

Sweet Baby she was just a smilin' and munchin' on her big ol' bowl a leafs.

And then he remembered ta tell her about Merle's hat and she nearly choked on a leaf. And she said, "Oh my gosh I can't believe Cindy really did that. I mean she said she was going to but I thought she was kidding! You'd better believe I wouldn't let you wear a hat that said that Mister Dixon."

"Yeah well I wouldn't anyway, and I ain't never lettin' no one but you touch my tallywhacker." And she was gonna get after him about sayin' tallywhacker in front a D.J., but gosh, her Big Man was just so sweet.

She was cleanin' up the mess in the kitchen and talkin' ta Cindy on the phone.

Daddy and D.J. was a playin' with the trucks, and Daddy showed little man how ya make the train go backwards. And they had that show on about Building Alaska and he an D.J. they agreed, Alaska was too damn cold for the likes a them.

That's when Sweet Baby come in the room there and she said those dreaded words, yeah those, "Its bath time boys."

Now Daryl he made a valiant attempt, he really did, "Sweet Baby I didn't even work hard enough today ta stink, really, I'm serious Baby."

But then she said sumthin' that motivated her man, "Don't forget Big Man, Mama's hungee." She was always pullin' that shit right there on him. But he was brave.

And shit our boy was in that shower so fast why it'd make yer head spin.

And he made it quick cuz ya know he don't wanna be late for storytime. And D.J. picked out The Little Engine That Could, which Mama had read 9,999,999 times. Which was okay cuz they all loved it, a lot.

D.J. he only made it about a third a the way through, and Mama she laid her sleepy boy down in that bed. And her and Daddy were outta there and in their own bed so fast, why I'm pretty fuckin' certain they broke the land speed record.

He'd pulled them damn sleep pants off somewhere in the hall, she pulled his t-shirt off as soon as they hit the bedroom.

Which is when he pulled her britches down and he said, "Sweet Baby ya ain't wearing no panties!" He kinda liked it. She just giggled a naughty little giggle and if it's possible, well that made him even more horny.

And he got that little tank top off, and holy mole kids, she wasn't wearin' a bra neither. And I'm tellin' ya them Dixons was so hot they was about ta spontaneously combust!

And they was touchin', and they was feelin', and they was suckin', and they was nibblin', and they was investigatin' crevices, and they was pinchin' – just soft like. And he suggested that maybe she needed a spankin' on accounta she'd been naughty and didn't wear no underwear and she said, yeah maybe she did, and then he pretended ta spank her sweet little ass, and then they both had a real good time when he went ta kissin' it better.

And some way or another, damn if they didn't slide right offa the end of the bed. Well then Young Dixon he was real busy kissin' every part on her better, leavin' no part unkissed. It was a big job but Big Man he persevered. He's one brave soldier that man is.

Once he had her all kissed over real good, which had already made her get overcome with happiness, twice, and neither one a them could take it not one more minute, that's when he said, "Just cuz I love ya Sweet Baby, and I don't ever want ya ta forget yer lessons, I'ma show ya again how ya make a baby."

An that's just what he done. And she was more than pleased to receive the instruction. And she got overcome with happiness again, and then he got overcome with his own happiness. And he wondered if someday they was gonna die of happiness.

Shit that'd be the way ta go.

xxxx

He was pretty sure that fancy hotel put 'em in the same room every time. Not that he was complainin'.

She wanted ta take a nice bubble bath before they got dressed for the party.

Now that was the only time Young Dixon didn't mind takin' a shower or a bath, was when Sweet Baby was right there with him. He opened that bottle a Champagne, just in case all that bathin' was ta make 'em thirsty, which it undoubtedly would.

Especially the part where they wash each other real good, makin' sure every part is sparklin' clean.

And they done a wonderful and thorough job, cuz I know y'all know kids, good hygiene is real important. True fact.

She was wearin' a little dress that was so tight he could practically count her ribs. And her nipples was on high beam. "Sweet Baby did ya forget yer bra again?" He was a might concerned. He liked lookin' at them things, he just didn't particularly care for any other man lookin' at 'em.

But she assured him, "Oh Big Man, they're just that way because when you're around, well, I'm just always, you know, in the mood." Yes boys n girls, I know. Sweet Baby was shovelin' the shit. And Big man, he knew it too. But goddamn she was cute, so he let it slide. After all, it was Valentine's Day.

But he did have an important question, "What about panties, did ya remember them?" And just that fast his hand was up between her legs and he scolded her, "Sweet Baby just what the hell has come over ya lately?"

And she just give him a real coy smile and she said, "I guess I need another spanking."

And Big Man well he said, real stern like, and he pointed a finger, "Well yer gonna get one young lady. Gonna be real fierce too. Now go put yer panties on 'fore I just say the hell with goin' out and we stay here and commence the punishin'!"

* * *

They met up with Cindy and Merle down there in the lobby and Cindy's dress was every bit as tight as Sweet Baby's. She wasn't one bit ashamed of any lump, bump or roll she may have, and Merle well he loved the shit outta every one a them lumps, bumps and rolls. So they was both happy.

And it was hard not ta notice, it wasn't like Young Dixon wanted to, but the damn things were gigantic, and Cindy she was sportin' high beams too.

And her skirt was so fuckin' short he was prayin' ta God and anyone else who might listen, that Cindy was wearin' her panties.

This Valentine's Day was startin' off in a big way!

They got ta the Hard Times and Abe had socked in cases n cases of cheap champagne. Abe was a smart business man, he knew what his customers wanted. The good stuff. And they wasn't gonna be drinkin' it out a none a them cheap plastic two-piece champagne glasses neither. No fuckin' way.

Abe had got sumthin' more festive than that. They was drinkin' cheap champagne outta red solo cups.

First Class that was what that was.

And he motioned ta Big Man and Sweet Baby and he told 'em, "Ya know I love you guys, and tonight, I want ya to remember, Valentine's Day is all about luvin', let's not have no fightin', k?" And he give 'em each a red solo cup fulla cheap champagne, on the house, ta make up for havin' ta give 'em a lecture n all.

Daryl just shrugged, after all, he wasn't gonna start no fights that didn't need startin'. Sweet Baby she was a little embarrassed, but she wasn't promisin' nuthin'. If any woman lay a hand on Big Man, she was gonna do her very best ta kill that woman.

Who can blame her?

Otherwise, yeah sure, love reigns supreme. And whatnot.

And boys n girls, y'all are gonna be happy ta know, that by golly, the evenin' was full a love.

Why the whole gang was there, Axel n Doc – Merle made sure he bought them each big a ol' red solo cup a cheap champagne. And there was Oscar n Ruby, Daryl had taken Oscar ta school yet again when Oscar showed him the new Ipod he'd gotten Ruby for Valentine's Day. Oscar ain't pickin' up on this present buyin' stuff real good.

Ruby ended up with an Ipod and a lovely pair of shiny earrings.

Heath he was showing so much lip love for Giselle we was all gettin' a little worried one of 'em might suffocate if they didn't come up for air real soon.

An there was more feels copped that night than a person could count, why there was so much touchin and feelin', and pokin', and rubbin' goin' on, it's a wonder the fire alarm didn't go off from the heat in the joint.

Now Merle n Cindy they was in a serious game a pool. Well it wasn't exactly the pool playin' that was serious. It was more like the peripheral adventures that was serious.

Now the fellas, it's not like they'd stray from their own woman, well fuck no, none of 'em would ever do that. But still, ya know Cindy, well she was leanin' over that pool table, tryin' ta shoot the 5 ball in the corner pocket, and they was all watchin' with a serious amount of anticipation, just waitin' for one a them titties ta pop itself right outta the top a that tight dress. Coulda been the tightness holdin' 'em in. I can't really say. Shit, it ain't like I'm a damn physicist or sumthin'.

So now here's where it's gets real fun, or real embarrassin', or real horrifyin', it's all in how ya take these things kids. Happy and good naturedly, like the vast majority of our boys that was populatin' Hard Times that night, or like one of our boys, perhaps he may just be yer favorite boy, yeah him, Young Dixon. He didn't take it real well.

Young Mister Dixon was more like the horrified one. Poor fella, had ta turn away, sucked down his whole glass a champagne in one swallow, then went ta Abe and got a double jack and sucked it all down too. He asked for another one, but Abe, he told him, "Just settle down there kid, slow up a bit, it ain't the end a the world for gawd sake. Just a little Valentine's Day peekaboo show. Hell, we're all family here. No harm, no foul."

And Daryl, well God bless his ever lovin' and precious heart, he was tryin' ta be brave.

Oh yeah, shit, I get ta ramblin' on about this and that and I forget ta tell ya the goddamn story of what happened, which is what yer here for. Sorry kids.

Shit, maybe I drink too much. Nah, that can't be it.

So anyway, what happened was Cindy's tittie did not escape from the top a that dress, that dress appeared ta have them titties on lockdown.

But here's the thing, ah and kids, all y'all know I love me some Merle Dixon, can't hardly help myself, oh shit, there I go again. Strayin'. But damn, he is one fine hunk a man.

Oh yeah, so Merle, bein' Merle and all, well Cindy was goin' for the 9 ball in the other corner, and it was a helluva stretch cuz the cue ball well it was about three quarter way down the felt, and it was dead ass center.

So Cindy, she's a leanin' right over there, and she's strainin' ta get her shot, and Merle, well Merle he sticks his hand up her skirt, ya know, ta give her a little goose. Just havin' him a little fun and all. But Cindy's personal self, well it gets all manner of exposed, and no, she ain't wearin' no panties.

Sweet Baby let out a little shriek and she turned right around and chugged down her glass of cheap champagne.

Now Merle, he don't get embarrassed, or upset, or mortified, or horrified none a that shit, he just laughs and gives Cindy a couple more gooses, and maybe a friendly rub or two until she turns around and starts ta kissin' on him and his hands is wanderin', and I had ta quit lookin' kids. I know, I wimped right out. Sorry.

Okay, so I'm not really sorry.

Now in the meantime, Tyrese, y'all remember Tyrese and Prudence. Well anyway, for some reason that shall forever remain known only ta him, Tyrese decides it's time ta do what he came to do!

Oh, that's right, ya don't know what he came ta do, do ya?

Okay, I'ma tell ya. He says, real, real loud, "I have somethin' ta say here."

And Abe, well he's in on the deal, and he turns the juke box down, and Tyrese looks ta Prudence sittin' right there in the chair, lookin' all itty bitty and whatnot, and he gets down on one knee, and Holy Fuck if he don't pop the question right there in the Hard Times Bar n Grill, on Valentine's Day, everyone half baked, Merle's hands a wanderin', Daryl about ta puke, Sweet Baby in a state of shock that requires a helluva a lot of champagne ta try n recover from what she seen, and everyone else just a wonderin' if Merle n Cindy's gonna get down ta business right there on that pool table.

I do think I just broke my own record for run-on sentences. I'm good at that shit there.

But again, I digress.

And Big Ol' Tyrese don't he say ta his Sweet Little Prudence, "Darlin' girl, will ya marry me n lemme love on ya the rest a my life?" And ain't he holdin' up a real nice little diamond ring, and don't Prudence squeal and say, "Oh yes Pumpkin." And she goes ta kissin' on that giant of a man.

Pumpkin?

And everyone took a big ol' swallow of champagne and give 'em a round of applause.

Now Sweet Baby, she sees her own Big Man, well he's at the end of his tolerance for the evenin'. He done seen too much, got kinda traumatized and all. She better get him on outta here.

And she gets up close, and she cuddles right up, and her hand mighta wandered, just a bit, she was just followin' his happy trail and all, and she says ta him, "Big Man, let's go back to the room so you can give me my punishment."

And don't he look at her with a deep and abidin' love and he says, "Sweet Baby, ya always know how ta make me feel better. I love ya so much."

And that's how it came down. I ain't lyin', I mean seriously, who could make this crazy ass shit up? You'd have to be a real sick-o.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost Valentine's Day kids! Thanks so much for reading, please leave a comment. I love ya large, xo gneebee


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was seeking some inspiration and got some from jsmith69, which was good. I also got some from Abraham's bad behavior on TWD, not so good. But we'll throw it all together in a pot with some frosty ones, some Jack and a little Fireball, fear, angst, glitter and sack time and see what we brew up! YeeHaw!

Hey all y'all! Ya been missin' me? I missed ya like I'd miss frosty ones if the Mad Dawg went dry!

Where've I been? Been hangin' 'round the Mad Dawg, where the hell else would I be? Shit the place is like my second home. And I'll sure as hell be there tonight! Why? Yer kiddin' me, ain't ya? Ya ain't funny like ya think ya are. I don't know why ya always gotta try n start shit with me. Ya keep it up and I ain't gonna tell ya what went down.

Or…you could get it in gear and just come ahead on with me. I know ya know where it's at, yeah that's right, now ya got yer thinkin' cap on. Shit, I's startin' ta think ya lost the damn thing.

It's in that run down industrial park, right there next ta the plumbin' supply house.

You can smell the place a block away, I mean it's nasty. Smells like walkers are playin' with skunks in the backroom. Shit, maybe they are. And dirty? Pfft, hell yeah it's dirty – just stick ta drinkin' straight from the bottle, it's safer. Barkeep ain't got time ta be cleanin' the joint up ya know, hell it's all he can do ta keep ahead a everyone's drinkin'.

But don't panic, the clientele is topnotch. Yep, the place is inhabited by all manner a scoundrels, miscreants and lowlifes of varyin' degrees. Who the fuck else would ya wanna drink with, a buncha high class snobs?

Besides, we ain't goin' for the aesthetics or the lively banter with regard ta current affairs. We're goin' cuz the beers are as cold as a witches titty in a brass bra, and barkeep don't let no one go thirsty, him bein' a professional n all, he keeps 'em comin' just as fast as you can suck 'em down. Unless a course ya tell him ta hold up cuz if ya come home drunk one more time this week yer woman is runnin' off with the mailman, or ya open yer wallet and all that's in there is an ancient condom and a dust bunny. If that happens just hit the fuckin' road. There's another lowlife waitin' on yer stool!

What I need even more'n a frosty one is a look at Daryl Dixon's formidable arms, and Merle's too while I'm at it. Don't tell the Hub. The man don't like me gawkin' at other men. That's right, always tryin' ta begrudge me my fun. Sheesh Hubster I'm just lookin', ain't touchin' – you think I want Beth or Cindy kickin' my ass?

(Have ya noticed the high end words I been usin', like aesthetics and formidable? That's right, I'm all manner a classed up and whatnot.)

So speaking of asses, I'ma get mine right on down ta the Mad Dawg and I would strongly suggest all y'all do the same because YES! It's Wednesday night kids! Ah ha! Them Dixon boys will be down there any minute and I got ta get ta my stool 'fore some other lowlife tries ta claim it.

* * *

Merle walked in and Little Brother already had a brown bottle in front of him and he was lookin' mighty glum. Merle smiled, gonna be a good evenin'.

"Whatsa matter there Baby Brother? Little Ballbuster snap her purse shut on yer balls?"

"Fuck you Merle and the horse ya rode in on."

"Now Daryl yer s'pose ta be the sweet one, why ya wanna cuss yer brother that way?" And the dumbass took ta cacklin'. Y'all know how he is.

Plus, I don't think I gotta tell ya every lowlife of every varyin' degree was in supersonic hearin' mode. Cuz yeah, who doesn't wanna know why Daryl Dixon is sullen? Well especially if Sweet Baby is causing this particular state a misery.

"The hell of it is, I ain't even sure yet what the fuck I done ta piss her off. I been givin' her my damn paycheck every week, making love ta her any time she lets me, keepin' the yard up and the trash took out, takin' a fuckin' shower every damn day, praisin' her cookin' and playin' trucks with D.J. I can't think of a fuckin' thing I done wrong."

As everyone pondered what in the world it could be, we all took a big ol' pull from our brown bottle. It helps us ta think.

"Well what the fuck did she say exactly little brother?" Merle was anticipatin' sumthin' real juicy, hell we all was. Everyone felt it was important ta take another big swallow of their adult beverage, just in case it was so monumental they wouldn't be able ta swallow after they heard it. (monumental is a four cylinder word kids)

Everyone was lookin' like they had Spock ears.

"Well it happened this mornin', everythin' was goin' real good, or anyway that's what I thought. She fixed me and my man D.J. bacon n eggs n grits n homemade biscuits for breakfast, ya know, the usual. Nuthin' seemed wrong. So I's eatin' it like we was a happy family and she loved my ass. I even told her she outdone herself and how delicious it was. I give D.J. a kiss g'bye right on the top a his head, then I give her a big one, tongue and all, ta see me through 'til I get home tonight. And I say, 'Gonna miss ya while I'm gone Sweet Baby.' Then I kissed her one more time. I's just about ta turn around and head out the door when she says ta me, 'Daryl tonight after we put D.J. ta bed, we need ta talk.'"

Every male heart in the Mad Dawg Tavern froze. Are there any more frightenin' words a man can hear from his woman than "we need ta talk"? I think not.

We all took a big pull from our brown bottle and barkeep was like a well-oiled machine settin' lowlifes up with more frosty ones.

Older Dixon he had a look of great concern on his face, "Little Brother, fuck man, are ya sure ya can't remember nuthin' ya mighta done ta upset her? Shit, I'm sorry. If ya need a place ta stay or sumthin' ya just come right over, me n Cindy we'll take ya in."

Ya know shit's serious when Older Dixon starts bein' all nice ta Young Dixon. Damn, I's leadin' the charge on taking a big gulp of the frosty one.

* * *

He walked in the door and D.J., well he looked happy enough, playin' with the trucks and the train, and looky there, a dinosaur. The Berenstain Bears was on the tube, Daryl actually kinda liked them. "Daddy's home ain't that excitin?" And he roughed the little fella's hair and he did feel a lot better when the boy clapped them little chubby hands and he giggled and said, "Daddy home."

"Yer my boy D.J., always remember that, no matter what son."

He took him a real deep breath and he walked ta that kitchen. She was standin' there at the stove, stirrin' what very well may be his last supper.

He hesitated, but damn, he couldn't help hisself, he had ta try. He got up close behind her and he run an open palm slowly up the inside a her thigh, right over there ta that sweet spot. The one he hoped was still his after tonight. He give it a hopeful rub while he nuzzled her neck and said in a sad voice, "Sweet Baby I'm sorry for whatever I done. Please don't run me off. I love ya girl, can't make it without ya."

She turned right around in his arms and she put her hands ta his face and she looked concerned and she asked him, "Big Man what's wrong? Why are you thinking I'm going to run you off? Did you do something we're both going to regret?"

"That's just it Sweet Baby, I don't know. Ya said we need ta talk, and I don't know what I done wrong."

She stifled that laugh that wanted out so bad, cuz she could see the big man was hurtin'. "Daryl I'm not mad at you, not even a little bit, I promise. I just wanted to talk to you about something."

And just ta show the man she was not angry she slid a hand down inside the front a his britches there and she give a real lovin' kind a squeeze to what she found there and she told the him, "You're my heart Daryl, I love you."

And he was feelin' a little better. Better enough that he mighta slid a hand up inside that little tank top, ya know, just curious ta see what might be under there n all. His other hand mighta found it's way down ta that tight little ass, just checkin' ta make sure it was still where he thought it was and whatnot.

The kitchen was gettin' hotter than a three peckered billy goat, when in walks little ol' D.J., "Hungee Mama."

And Daddy he just leaned right over and tickled the little fella in the ribs and said, "Boy, your Daddy was just near ta havin' a nervous breakdown, can't ya let Mama give a man a little comfort? Ya hate Daddy, I know ya do."

And little man he just laughed n clapped those tiny hands cuz seriously, he just thinks about his own self.

She'd made a big ol' pot a venison stew and a pan a corn bread and Daddy n D.J. was just a smilin' and shovelin' that good food right down. Sweet Baby seemed ta be enjoyin' her big bowl a leaves. Although it baffled the shit outta him how the hell she could.

She was cleanin' the kitchen and talkin' ta Cindy on the phone and he could hear her say, "No, I'm not mad at him, not even a little."

And he felt relieved all over again.

He and his man D.J. was playin' with that dinosaur and watching some "Ax Men" on the TV there when Sweet Baby come in and announced, "It's bath time!" Why Daryl Dixon did not even hesitate for a second, or try ta come up with even one single reason why he couldn't get his ass in the shower. He was takin' no chances of pissin' her off now. Course he made it fast, no need ta overdo these things.

He got them sleep pants on and made it to D.J.'s room in time for story time, yay! Tonight's Tale was more Berenstain Bears, D.J. musta got obsessed, anyway, the story was called "Home Sweet Tree" and it was a good un. D.J. was out like a light halfway through.

Big Man tried his best at that point, thought maybe if he right away started lovin' on her she'd forget they needed ta talk.

His plan failed.

He got hisself a beer before he set in his big ol' chair, still tryin' ta calm his nerves. She set her pretty little ass down on the edge a that coffee table, right there across from him and she started, "Daryl you know I love you more than anything, why you're the love of my life. And you gave me D.J., the most precious little boy in the world." Okay, this was worse than he thought. Why the fuck was she bein' so mushy with him? On she went, "And I know I keep saying I want to have another baby, and then I keep putting it off for one reason or another. And you probably think I'm crazy." He was so fucking confused now he wished he had a shot a Jack ta go with that beer.

"And well, I've been trying to be honest with myself about a few things, I've given it a lot of thought. Why I even got out my old journal and started writing in it. It's just that I love our life the way it is Daryl. It's perfect, we have everything, fun, friends, family, plenty of action in the bedroom. I'm just afraid somehow things won't be the same if we have another baby." He thought he remembered her tellin' him all that before, but oh well, she wasn't done and he sure as fuck wasn't interruptin' her.

"Well and to be honest, then I started thinking about the actual childbirth. Oh I just don't know about going through all that again. Big Man, do you have any idea of the very first thing a woman does when she goes into labor? Why, she raises up a window and just flings every ounce of dignity and shame right out. A good handful of pride and just a little of her self respect go right on out behind it. Then she shuts that window up tight, because she isn't going to be needing those things for the next little while. She's got so many people hovering and prodding and poking and tending, why she feels like she's in her very own National Geographic documentary."

At this point Daryl didn't know whether to laugh, barf, comfort her or just shut the fuck up. He took his chances, "Sweet Baby, that's why I always tell ya it's up ta you. When all that's happenin' I can't do nuthin' but stand there like the fuckin' asshole that caused ya all the trouble from the start. So ya know, when I tell ya it's yer decision and I'm happy whatever ya decide, I ain't just sayin' it, I'm meanin' it."

And damn, he musta said sumthin' right cuz she crawled right over there in his lap and she said, "You're the best husband ever Daryl Dixon, and I love you so much."

And again, he threw caution ta the wind, "Sweet Baby can I still give ya some lessons on how it is that ya make babies?"

And didn't she just smile that great big ol' beautiful smile at him and say, "I wish you would because I've kind of forgotten since this morning."

And Big Man never did want ta disappoint Sweet Baby in any way, so faster than a New York minute he had her shirt off and he was just a touchin' and a feelin' and a kissin' and a nibblin' and a pinchin' and a suckin' and a lickin' on what he found there. Why pretty soon he just picked her and his own self right up offa that chair and they was layin' down there on that soft throw rug and he got her pants off in no time flat, an his pants off in even less time than that, and they was rollin' around that livin' room and they was a lickin' and a suckin' and a nibblin' and a pinchin' and a kissin' and touchin' and feelin' every part a each other. Why they was gettin' a regular aerobic workout I tell ya, and hell, it was a fun one.

And he was payin' some real special attention ta her sweet spot with his tongue when she had a glorious moment and then he felt like he oughta cause that ta happen for her a couple more times, and then he said ta her, "Sweet Baby, get ready for yer lesson." And she was more than happy ta learn that lesson. Although she was pretty sure she'd forget it by mornin' and he'd have ta teach her again.

Well he was teachin' her with everythin' he had and she was receiving all the instruction he was givin' when yep, they shared one more glorious moment.

That's when Daryl noticed that fuckin' dinosaur had been watchin' them the whole damn time. That there was some creepy shit.

But that ain't what I come ta tell ya about.

I come ta tell ya 'bout Tyrese and Prudence's weddin' reception.

Yeah well it seems they didn't see no reason ta spend a lotta money on some big weddin' so the plan was, they's goin' ta the courthouse Friday afternoon, make the relationship all manner of official, and then the party was on at – you guessed it boys and girls – HARD TIMES BAR & GRILL. Can I get a HELL YEAH!

Course I know I ain't tellin' ya nuthin' ya ain't figured already when I say, everyone felt it best ta just take Friday afternoon off.

So Little Boss had him a talk with Big Boss and Big Boss saw things Little Bosses way.

And I know y'all are surely aware that D.J. was spendin' the night with Grandma and Grandpa, and there is no doubt in anyone's mind that Grandpa and D.J. was gonna be havin' a big ol' bowl a vanilla ice cream after supper.

Ruby's Mama would a course be stayin' over there at Merle n Cindy's house tendin' ta Earl. She did enjoy sittin' with that feisty little fella.

And naturally they'd be stayin' at that nice hotel that Merle resented the fuck outta payin' for, and where Daryl was sure they give him an Sweet Baby the same damn room every time. Not that it mattered, he couldn't give a shit less, it was just kinda curious is all. 'Sides he'd sleep anywhere if Sweet Baby would sleep there with him.

So they got all dolled up. Now Big Man, he always just wore whatever Sweet Baby told him he was wearin', that was the easiest thing ta do, just go along.

So he put on the Levis, and the black shirt, but damn if she didn't have a black tie out for him too, when he asked her why she just smiled n said, "Because I think you look hot in it." So he put it on right quick cuz like I told ya three hundred and forty five billion times, Daryl Dixon ain't an idiot. And it was all topped with a Levi jacket.

She had on a black lace number, little short pants it was, showin' off damn near every inch of her pretty white legs, tight at the waist with a little belt, and the top was kinda tight and the lace there on her arms and top a her chest was see through. And she had on some high heel sandal things, damn. Well the whole thing was gettin' Young Dixon every manner a hot n bothered.

All he could say was, "Sweet Baby these new Levis just got too tight in the crotch."

She just laughed and said, "Oh Daryl you're so funny."

And he said, "Ain't tryin' ta be funny, tryin' ta get ya in the sack."

"Oh you're going to get your sack time Big Man, after you buy me a few drinks."

"Okay but suck 'em down fast."

* * *

They met up with Merle and Cindy down there in the lobby, same as always. Cindy would not have disappointed ya boys n girls. Yep, skirt was plumb up ta her ass cheeks, heels ta the sky, titties fightin' their way outta her shirt. Now what ya may not expect was Cindy had glitter all over them titties. I know, I know, she may have been just a hair too old for that shit, and maybe a couple a years too late, but Merle thought she was the hottest thing breathin' air, so I doubt she gives a fuck what y'all think.

They moseyed on into Hard Times just about the same time the whole dang crew did. Everyone was all manner of excited and proud ta help Tyrese and Prudence celebrate their nuptials.

Speakin' a the newlyweds, Tyrese was sittin' at a table over there in the corner, and tiny little Prudence was perched there on his lap, and damn if his hand wasn't up the back a her skirt. But its' okay now kids, they're married. It's legal.

But that isn't what had everyone's attention, ain't like they never had seen a man with his hand up his woman's skirt before, although they did enjoy watchin' the fun unfold, but sumthin' else no one had seen comin' was unfoldin'. What that was it was Rosita was not behind the bar with Big Abe, no sir she was not. The woman that was, well it was Sasha who everyone remembered was goin' with Bob, but when they saw Abraham grab a handful of her butt cheek and give it a squeeze and her neck a nuzzle, well they figured Bob was outta the picture. But where the fuck was Rosita?

They was all figurin' that hot Latina would be walkin' in any minute and she'd kill Abe n Sasha both, 'cept for then they noticed Rosita over in the far corner, and she was settin' on the lap a that handsome young man from the bank where they all kept their dough, yeah, it was the Vice President, Spencer.

So now everyone did the only thing a person can do when they find themselves caught in a situation such as this, that's right, they begin to drink a lot, and fast. Okay yeah, fine, they'd a done that anyway, but now they had another reason 'sides celebratin' the fact that what Tyrese and Prudence was doin' now had the seal of approval of the Great State of Georgia.

And the jukebox played and Tyrese did dance, a slow one with his bride, and Young Dixon and Sweet Baby got a little down n dirty durin' that one. And Spencer and Rosita was doin' a pretty damn fine job a rubbin' their nether regions all over one another while they was dancin', so a course Abe had ta cop a feel of Sasha so the universe stayed in balance and all.

Y'all know how it goes.

So now that's how the evenin' went. Plenty a drinkin', plenty a sneaky touchin' and feelin', plenty a right in yer face we ain't shy touchin' and feelin' and all manner of great good times at the Hard Times.

Yeah, like that. Well, until an over-served Rosita moseyed up ta the bar, looked right at Sasha and said, "Give me a fuckin' Tequila and put it on Big Red's tab, Puta." Holy Mother of us all, that's right boys n girls, the fight was on.

Sasha she was over that bar and on Rosita faster than a speedin' bullet, and they wasn't screwin' around kids, they was throwin' blows! And damn, Spencer apparently was not well versed in the etiquette of barroom chick fights, cuz damn if he didn't try ta intervene and try n pull Sasha offa Rosita, which meant then a course, Abe he had ta pull Spencer offa Sasha who had hold a Rosita's hair.

Now all a this particular mayhem, well yeah it caused the most gentle giant in all the Great State of Georgia ta rise up from his chair, set his sweet new wife Prudence down real careful like, and go over and grab a hunk a the back a Abe's shirt and a hunk a the back a Spencer's shirt and declare, "Listen ya dumb asses, this here is my weddin' day and I ain't gonna have it be spoiled by no dumb fuckers like y'all."

Now that was fine and everythin' but in the meantime the women was still goin' at it. Wasn't no way Tyrese was breakin' that shit up. So Young Dixon, he got his ass over ta the the bar so he could flip the switch n start the Star Spangled Banner playin', ya know, ta break this muther up. But in his haste he hit the wrong switch an Dixie started up. Well hell, down here in the Great State a Georgia Dixie works every bit as good as the National Anthem ta get everyone's attention.

Spencer he picked Rosita up and threw her right over his shoulder and walked right outta Hard Times with her. Abe went back ta his rightful location behind the bar. Sasha excused herself ta the ladies room, and Older Dixon, Young Dixon, Cindy and Sweet Baby all did two fast shots a fireball each, just ta calm their nerves, strictly medicinal. And they headed on back ta the fancy hotel.

Daryl carried her over the threshold of their room, just cuz he could and he thought it was kinda sexy and she did too, he slammed that door shut behind him with the back a his foot, and he got her clothes off like he was goin' for the world record and she had his belt off and his pants down in no time t'all, and before ya know it kids, they was a touchin' and a feelin' and a kissin' and a lickin' and a suckin' and a nibblin' and a pinchin', and they was sliddin' offa the bed and Daryl was not one bit worried about how much that lamp and that clock radio was gonna cost him.

And at least as far as the Dixon's was concerned, the evenin' ended with a couple a glorious moments.

Yep.

But that ain't what I come ta tell ya. What I come ta say is if ya decide ya don't wanna be with someone no more, well that's how it goes, sometimes ya just ain't feelin' it n whatnot. But shit, try n not be an asshole about it. Sheesh Abe, ya was a real dickhead ta Rosita.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a special shout out to my friend jsmith for providing all of us with a very accurate description of childbirth.   
> Ya know I love all y'all large! Thanks so much and please comment xo


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Hey all y'all, I thought I might oughta give ya an update on what's goin' on at the Mad Dawg, cuz seriously boys n girls, sumthin' is always goin' on at the Mad Dawg.

psst, guess who. Well hell yeah it's me, who else comes ta call on ya Wednesdays, just ta fuckin' remind ya it's Wednesday? Ain't no one but me. I've learned I can't trust ya ta remember what the hell day it is on yer own.

Now this particular Wednesday, April 6th, in the mornin', the world turned dark. Dark as coal. Who will ever forget the day the "Poet of the Common Man" passed on? It was a bitter, bitter thing when the news come over the radio, Merle Haggard had died.

The boys were all in a state of shock and deep sorrow. Why Little Boss he went right in there ta Big Boss' office and he told the man, "We gotta shut down Big Boss, the guys, we can't get no work done. Everyone's all manner of sad and depressed and mistakes will be made. I think we best all head home now."

Now Big Boss didn't know Merle Haggard from Joe Blow, the dumbass, but he knows Little Boss is the hardest workin' man he's ever seen and a real straight shooter. So knowin' that, Big Boss he just says, "Well if that's what you think is best Little Boss, but I want everyone here, rested and ready to work first thing in the morning."

"Well yeah, course Big Boss. I'll be here same as always."

"Where's everyone planning to do their grieving?"

Daryl looked every kind of pitifully sad when he answered, "Guess we best head on over ta the Mad Dawg and have some frosty ones, ya know just ta ease the pain an whatnot. Then get home to our women for some comfortin'."

* * *

He made a quick call ta Sweet Baby, "Damn girl, did ya hear what happened?"

"Yes Daryl and I'm so sorry. I know you loved him. Are you going to the Mad Dawg early?"

His Sweet Baby knew him, she understood him. Why she was the best wife on all nine planets. (hey, I ain't givin' up on Pluto and you all shouldn't either.)

* * *

Meanwhile down at the Mad Dawg...why the minute Barkeep heard the news over the radio he hurried up ta make preparations. He knew every redneck, low life and miscreant from across the entire county was gonna be needin' ta drink a toast ta the Hag. ( _4-cylinder word alert - preparations_ )

He went in the back, brought out more cases a beer from the walk-in cooler and was stuffin' them bar coolers just as full as they could be stuffed.

Now y'all know I'm the helpful sort so as soon as I heard the news over my own radio, why I was down there at the Mad Dawg ready ta be of any manner of assistance I could.

First thing I done was, I got the ancient CD player out from the office and the Merle Haggard box set a CD's. I got everythin' all set up there behind the back bar. That old CD player will take six disks, that's a good thing cuz we knew we was gonna have us a big crowd of fellas mournin', drinkin' and wantin' ta sing along.

Just like when Elvis died, and John Wayne died, and John Lennon died, and George Jones died. We hold a nice memorial at the Mad Dawg.

Hell Barkeep even got the hot dog cooker dealee thing a goin'.

Well we barely finished stockin' the ice, in case anyone was drinkin' Jack on the rocks, and I just got the music cranked up when in they started ta come.

Now Barkeep, I told ya before boys and girls 'bout 345 gagillion times, he's a professional. He had them frosty ones set up quicker than you can say "Kiss My Redneck Ass."

No sooner had he done it than in walked Older Dixon lookin' every bit as grief stricken as Young Dixon.

Now Older Dixon he wasn't fuckin' around, no sir, he went right ta orderin' up a double jack to accompany his frosty one. Shit it wasn't even noon yet. Not that it matters what time a man starts, if yer thirsty yer thirsty. I'm just informin' ya is all. I always like ta keep ya apprised a the situation at hand. ( _fancy word alert – apprised._ )

And right then "You're Walking on the Fightin' Side of Me" started ta play on the CD player thing and everyone took a big ol pull a their frosty one, and went ta punchin' the arm of the fella next to 'em. Hard. It's times like that I'm real damn glad I ain't one a the fellas. Y'all know how delicate I am. I bruise easy an whatnot.

Then Merle starts ta get all sorrowful 'bout the way the man he was named for has died. The place gets quiet then, ears is perked and peaked, or whatever, we's all listenin'. Then Young Dixon says, "Merle yer full a shit. Ya ain't named for Haggard. Mama named ya for her brother that got killed in that drug deal gone bad."

"Ya shut the fuck up Daryl, ya got yer version of the story and I got mine."

And everyone, includin' Little Brother, nodded and took a big ol' pull from their brown bottle cuz shit, Older Dixon was right. This here is a drinkin' establishment, a man's got every right in the world ta lie his fuckin' ass right off.

As it turned out Older Dixon was in a mood, and I ain't talkin' 'bout the good kind. Mix that all in a bucket with two double jacks and a couple frosty ones and things start ta go a little sideways.

So he says ta Little Brother, "Why don't ya tell me all about how Little Ballbuster's been bustin' yer balls on the regular and makin' yer life a livin' hell. Shit Brother, I don't know why ya put up with that shit from her."

Well now see? That right there? That did not sound like Merle's usual manner a baitin' Little Brother. Yep, he'd crossed the line. And Little Brother give a real hard shove ta Big Brother's shoulder. Holy fuck a duck! We was all sittin' up straight now wonderin' was the Dixon Brothers gonna brawl. We ain't seen that in a while. I can't lie kids, it's kinda hot. I mean just think about the muscles tensin', the testosterone hangin' heavy in the air, the fuckin' arms on those boys.

Phew, is it gettin' warm in here or is it just me?

"The fuck Merle? Who pissed in yer Cheerios? Nah she ain't been bustin' nuthin' and don't ya be talkin' 'bout her like that. My Sweet Baby is nuthin' but good ta me." And all the other fellas was flippin' Young Dixon off, just in their minds of course, no one wanted ta die that day. Why did he always have ta rub it in 'bout his Sweet Baby? Dickhead.

"What about Big Ballbuster, she got yer nut sack in a vise? I already know yer head's up yer ass."

Uh Oh and yep, Merle give Daryl the two handed chest shove and Daryl give it to him right back. Barkeep was gettin' nervous now and we was all thinkin' 'bout where we could move, ya know ta be sure and be outta the reaches of a wayward punch. Cuz kids I'm here ta tell right now, when them Dixon Brothers get ta fightin' the shit goes down.

So Daryl give Merle a hard punch ta the gut, takes the man's breath away, but he recovers and he gives Daryl one right back, then Daryl goes for the haymaker to the jaw, but Merle gets him in a headlock, so then Daryl gives him the elbow ta the gut while he smashes the heel a his boot down hard on Merle's foot. (We was all suckin' them beers down and takin' side bets on who was gonna be comin' out winners). Merle lets out a loud yelp and hollers, "Ya little muther fucker!" And he throws a right hook that connects hard with the side a Daryl's head, Daryl takes that head of his and he rams it, just like a chargin' bull, hard into his lovin' brother's gut, knockin' him back and he falls on his ass.

Daryl throws himself on top of his brother and they're both a them rollin' around on the floor of the Mad Dawg. Fists was flyin', they was throwin' blows, kickin', bitin' and callin' each other every manner of terrible thing ya ever heard, and some ya ain't never heard. (The rest of us was makin' faces like we was the ones bein' hurt, in between big gulps from our frosty ones.)

Finally Barkeep figured the Brothers was done gettin' out whatever the fuck it was that had got into 'em, not that they'd slowed up a bit, Barkeep though, bein' a professional and all, he knows when it's time. He pulled the plug on Haggard just long enough ta play The Star Spangled Banner. That's right, we all rose ta our feet and faced the dingy old flag in the corner there, includin' the Brothers of course. And we all proudly sang along as best we could.

When the Anthem was done playin' them Brothers they put their arms 'round each other's shoulders and they started ta cacklin'. I know I told ya this a quadtrillion times, both them boys is more than capable of behavin' like dumbasses.

Barkeep popped the caps off a couple a frosty ones for 'em and they toasted each other. "Here's to ya, ya little prick," said Big Brother.

And Little Brother said, "Right back at ya shit for brains."

And peace was restored at The Mad Dawg.

But damn kids our boys looked rough, both of 'em had a black eye comin' up, bloody ears, split lips, big puffed up lookin' cheek bones, and there was plenty a cuts and blood and bruisin', but they acted like nuthin' had even happened. Them Dixon boys are tough. And did I mention hotter than the hubs a hell? Yeah cuz damn kids, even beat ta shit them boys are a couple a real fine specimens of manhood.

That's when Young Dixon asked Older Dixon, "What the fuck is the matter with ya Brother?"

Yeah y'all know it, the tavern fell into silence as every low life, miscreant and redneck waited ta hear what the fuck was the matter with Older Dixon.

"I got trouble at home." Aw shit. Everyone had always just taken it for granted Merle and Cindy was solid. I mean seriously, a match made in heaven if ever there was one.

"Shit Brother, what kinda trouble?" We all took a big chug outta our freshly replenished (thanks to the Professional behind the bar) frosty ones.

Maybe Young Dixon shoulda known better than ta ask a man like his brother a question such as that. Too far reaching and whatnot. Nowadays it's kinda trendy ta say someone ain't got filters, yeah we don't say that 'bout Merle. We say Merle Dixon's mouth ain't connected ta his brain.

"Well it all started last Thursday evenin', I thought it'd be over by now. But nah, I don't think she wants me no more."

"What the fuck ya talkin' 'bout Merle?" Well yeah a course, every lowlife and miscreant in the joint was waitin' with baited breath cuz yeah, what the fuck ya talkin' bout Merle? And we all took a big pull from our brown bottle.

Merle said, "Barkeep, I need a double jack." Well Barkeep was hesitant but shit, money's money and there's always The National Anthem if things get outta hand again.

"Earl was asleep and we was watchin' some chick show Cindy likes 'bout Doctors and whatnot, and there was a gal on there, damn that woman had her some nice tits and a spacious backyard and I simply commented on that fact, I mean anyone woulda said the same. And I mighta said, 'That woman there could put her shoes next ta my bed any night. I'd show her what good lovin' is all about.' That's all I said. It wasn't like I done anythin' wrong, I was just commentin' is all."

Now Young Dixon? Why ya never seen someone look so incredulous, and he looked to his brother and he said, "Merle yer the biggest fuckin' dumbass son of a bitch whoever walked the face of the gawddamn earth."

"That's kinda what Cindy said, 'cept she didn't say it that nice." Okay, I mighta had a little spit take right then myself boys n girls.

"She ain't let me kiss her or pet on her not one bit since. I tried ta cop a little feel of her titty just last night and she punched me harder than you ever did. Shit, I's just bein' affectionate and whatnot. And she ain't let me in the bed, hell no. I'm sleepin on the floor in Earl's room."

Damn, everyone knew Cindy's reputation for likin' the nookie, if she was refusin' her man his lovin' things were lookin' bad for Merle and Cindy's happy union.

And then Merle asked it, and I think if you was able ta tell by lookin' at a person when their heart froze, you'd know Young Dixon's heart froze right then. Why? Cuz Merle asked, "Can I stay with y'all for few days?"

You better believe we was the quietest lowlifes this side of the black hole while we awaited the answer. "Lemme call Sweet Baby." ( _Cop out Alert!_ )

He did and bein' the sweet woman she is she said, "Well Daryl he _is_ your brother so I guess we can't say no, but I sure do hope they make up soon."

About that time Ruby come by the Mad Dawg ta haul Oscar's drunk ass home and she was nice enough ta give the Brothers a ride ta Daryl's.

They walked in the front door and there was little old D.J. playin' with them trucks and that peepin' tom of a dinosaur and that damn Yo Gabba Gabba was playin' on the T.V.

Daryl said, "Hey son Daddy's home ain't that excitin'?" And all y'all know, D.J. he went ta gigglin' and clappin' and he said, "Daddy home." Happiest little fella in the galaxy kids.

"Hey kid, it's yer Uncle Merle don't I get no kinda greetin'?" An the boy just giggled more n said, "'Lo."

Merle plopped his dumbass down on the sofa and began ta enjoy Yo Gabba Gabba with his nephew. They have similar tastes in their TV viewing.

* * *

He walked in the kitchen and there was his Sweet Baby, standing there at the stove and stirrin' a big ol' pot of sumthin' that smelled damn delicious.

He come up behind her and he run an open palm right along the inside a her thigh all the way up and right over ta that sweet center, ad he give it a real lovin' kind a feel, while he was leanin' down kissin' and suckin' at her neck. "Hey Sweet Baby, yer man missed yer sweet little self today."

She turned around then and let out a gasp, "Oh my gawd Daryl, what happened to you?" And she hugged him tight. He continued his attentions to her personal regions and he said, "Ain't nuthin' Sweet Baby, just had a little scuffle with Merle's all. It's all straightened out, don't ya worry. I'll tell ya more later."

And she went ta givin' some pretty good attentions to his southern hemisphere and she said, "I sure am sorry about Merle Haggard, Daryl. I'll try later and see if I can't make you feel a little better." And he went ta nuzzlin' at her neck.

And he whispered, "Yer makin' me feel pretty fuckin' good right now Sweet Baby, damn ya got a nice touch." And they was kissin' and gettin' all lost in the love and whatnot, when D.J. come a walkin' in, with Uncle Merle right behind, and the little fella said, "Hungee Mama. Dinno."

Merle said, "Jesus what the fuck were you two gettin' up to in here?!" Daryl had ta chastise him right there on the spot for cussin' in front a the boy.

And Daddy he bent down and he roughed D.J.'s soft hair and he said, "Ya wasn't s'pose ta let yer Uncle Merle follow ya in here son." And D.J. he just giggled and clapped his little hands together, and he was doin' a little dance. Happiest child on all nine planets that boy is. (And don't even think 'bout arguin' with me over Pluto.)

She knew they'd be drinkin' pretty dang good so she'd fixed up a pot of some seriously spicy Chile Verde. D.J. was havin' a cheese quesadilla and some carrot sticks. Daryl was woofin' his chile verde right down with warm tortillas, Merle was munchin' away, and D.J. seemed happy as two clams, and Sweet Baby was eatin' a big bowl a leafs.

And Merle that dumbass, you'd think he'd know better but he said sumthin' 'bout that. What he said was, "Dang Beth why don't ya wanna eat some real food? That there's for bunnies, it's no wonder yer so skinny."

Daryl pushed himself back from the table ready ta go ta blows again, but then he thought 'bout D.J. bein' there an all. That fuckin' brother of his was gettin' on his last fuckin' nerve today. "Ya be quiet Merle. Sweet Baby eats what she wants and ya don't comment on it, hear? And don't ya never talk ta her like that. She's perfect. Ain't ya had ya enough trouble ta last ya a while?"

Merle made an effort at apologizin' and all, but shit kids he's Merle. "Gee didn't mean ta piss everyone off, just sayin' it wouldn't hurt ya ta have a square meal. And yeah girl, yer real cute n all."

"Don't worry about it Merle just quit using bad language in front of D.J. That is what will get me upset." But Sweet Baby's sunny personality had definitely clouded over just a little.

And D.J. said, "PeePee Mama." And Sweet Baby scooped him up outta his chair and took him in the bathroom.

"D.J.'s learnin' ta use the crapper?" Merle grinned.

"Merle knock it off. Beth was real nice ta invite ya ta stay, fix supper for ya. Now watch yer damn mouth. And yeah D.J.'s got the PeePee part down pretty good, it's the PooPoo he ain't got quite figured."

An Older Dixon looked at Young Dixon n said, "Ain't no real man says PooPoo."

"Yeah well they do if they live in this house so fuck you Merle."

Daryl, D.J. and Merle was in the living room. D.J. and Daryl was playin' with them trucks and the train, Merle couldn't quit playin' with the voyeur dinosaur, and an episode of Archer's Choice was playin' on the TV.

Sweet Baby was cleanin' the kitchen. That and she was also on the phone with Cindy tryin' ta find out what in the world had happened. Cindy told her what her man had said about that broad on TV. Of course Sweet Baby said, "Well now Cindy you were with Merle for a long time before you married him, you know how he is. He doesn't always think before he speaks." Shit, that's bein' mighty fuckin' sweet Sweet Baby.

But Cindy was not in a forgivin' frame a mind.

Sweet Baby come walkin' in the livin' room there and she says, "It's bath time," ya know, in that sweet voice a hers that almost sounds like she's singin'. Course Merle he says, "Hell yeah, we're all takin' a bath together."

Well of course he knew better than that when he said it, but he thought he was bein' funny, yeah 'til he seen Sweet Baby was givin' him a damn near nuclear stink eye.

Are ya sittin' down? Cuz what I gotta tell ya next is, Daryl he just jumped right up ta take his own shower! He didn't question, he didn't try and talk his way outta it, he was anxious in fact. The man needed a break from Big Brother just that bad.

Story time come and the story of the evenin' was a little sumthin' D.J. picked out called, "Once Upon a Potty." And no, I ain't makin' it up, there is such a book. The boy was asleep halfway through, it ain't that excitin'.

Sweet Baby told Merle he could sleep there on the small bed in D.J.'s room or on the sofa. He picked the bed.

* * *

Once they got in their room, finally alone, they caught fire. They was a groppin' and a kissin', and a feelin', and a rubbin', and findin' spots on one another that needed explorin', why they was havin' a fine time.

Big Man was so hot he feared he might suffer from spontaneous combustion at any minute.

He pulled his sleeps pants off so fast sparks flew. And he no sooner done that than he had every stitch of Sweet Baby's clothin' removed.

He picked her up and bounced her sweet self right onta that bed and they was rollin' around the thing and they was a touchin', and a kissin', and a strokin', and a lickin', and a suckin', and there mighta been some pokin' and a little pinchin'. Why they was havin' all manner of large fun.

That's when his Sweet Baby surprised Big Man, yep, she started headin' south. She was kissin' his happy trail all the way down to his nether regions. An when she was just about ta get down ta business she looked up ta him and she said, "You know what would be a really good idea Big Man?"

And as hot n bothered as he was he still had ta squelch a laugh, "Nah I don't Sweet Baby, tell me what would be a really good idea?"

"If you would please hurry and figure out a way to make Merle go home." An they both had a laugh over that. An then they got back to the business at hand and they was mighty rambunctious and damn if they didn't fall right outta that bed.

Big Man he managed ta make sure he took the brunt of the fall, cuz he was already beat ta hell anyway. And they never did miss a beat, they kept right at it, they had a lotta pent up desire. Hell they hadn't had any since earlier that mornin'.

He got Sweet Baby ta that place she wanted ta go, and when he did she mighta let out a little scream and yelled, "Oh yes, Big Man, yes!"

And they hadn't even gotten ta the main event.

But they got after it then, and they was rollin' around that room, they was coverin' a lotta real estate, and they was showin' each other a vast amount of affection. Hot naked affection. And she got there first just a hollerin' his name, and he didn't waste no time gettin' there his own self and he mighta hollered, "Damn Sweet Baby you make me feel so good."

And they was plumb wore out, layin' there on the floor all manner of relaxed and in love. And he told her, "I love ya Sweet Baby, love ya so much."

And she answered him right back, "I love you Big Man."

Speakin' of big men, this whole time Big Brother had been there in D.J.'s room hearin' every bit a that lovin' goin' on and it pissed him right the fuck off. Why was his Cindy breakin' his heart this way, over nuthin'?

Two days time passed, yeah, it was Friday evenin' and Daryl was gonna grill 'em up some steaks out there by the pool. Sweet Baby had made up some taters and deviled eggs n whatnot, and that's when it happened.

D.J. looked ta her with that sweet little innocent face of his and he said, "Needa shit Mama."

Now Merle he was enjoyin' the hell right outta what he taught the boy, he couldn't stop cacklin'. And truth be told, Daryl thought it was one of the funniest fuckin' things he'd ever heard or seen.

The big difference was, Merle laughed out loud, but by the very grace of God above, Daryl was able to act upset that D.J. would speak these words.

That's when Little Ballbuster broke right on outta her shell. She had her Little Ballbuster Super Suit on now kids. Why Merle Dixon hadn't known what a good ball bustin' was 'til Sweet Baby took him ta skool! He was sure his ass was gone, sure she'd chewed the sumbitch right off. She was not lettin' up for a minute.

Now Big Man he was also a smart man, he'd taken Little Man inside right quick, set him there on the potty. Little Man was doin' his dooty and Daddy told him, "If yer smart son you'll do things Mama's way. Life's better like that."

Merle apologized all over hisself, begged Sweet Baby for her forgiveness. She's a real sweet gal and she did forgive him, she just reminded him there was rules.

He said he thought he oughta go try n make up ta Cindy right quick.

Now of course ya gotta know that over the past couple a days, when the men was gone ta work and such, Sweet Baby and Cindy had been in constant communication.

Merle didn't need ta know 'bout that so of course we ain't gonna tell him, but Sweet Baby did give him an idea of how he might make his way back into Cindy's heart. **Right now**.

Sweet Baby suggested he leave real quick now, before the mall closed, get his lovin' wife a bottle of Chanel No. 5 – and not the cologne, the parfum, some Ethel M chocolates – the biggest box they had, and a real expensive heart shaped gold locket. And finally she told him the most important thing, quit bein' such a big dumbass.

Sweet Baby wrote it all down on a piece of paper for him so he wouldn't fuck it up. Yep, she'd copied it right off Cindy's list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids, another big thanks to jsmith69 (check out her Rickyl ficS) for the prompt: Merle getting in trouble with Cindy and coming to stay with Big Man and Sweet Baby, then teaching D.J. a naughty word. (He never hears shit like that from Daddy, does he now?). I appreciate all of you taking the time to read this, and taking a moment to remember a country music legend, the one and only Merle Haggard. Please comment and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there all y'all – I'm back! It's time for us to catch up with the Dixon clan – so without further adieu let's get on down ta the Mad Dawg and get to it!

Okay, so back ta drinkin', it's serious business now cuz ya know what day it is kids, it's Wednesday! I know all y'all remember what it is we do on Wednesday right after work. Oh don't ya start with me now, I know ya know. Alright then fine, just fine, go on n be that way, I'll say it. We gotta head on down ta the Mad Dawg and have us a couple frosty ones, or maybe more on accounta it's been so damn long for all y'all, and whatnot.

Now just cuz ya ain't been ta the Mad Dawg in a while don't y'all worry, things ain't changed even one little iota. Why the place still stinks as bad as a big ol' flamin' pile of political bullshit. Don't even get me started on that nasty business right there, cuz I think all y'all know that with even the slightest bit of provocation I could go on for hours, especially if I happen ta be drinkin' tequila.

But ya know that's one of the blessin's of hangin' out down there at that smelly little joint with all them lowlifes and miscreants and every other manner of felonious character, they don't talk politics, never, they're too fuckin' busy eavesdroppin' on the ones I myself am there ta eavesdrop on. That's right, the Dixon Brothers.

Now don't ya worry on accounta ya ain't seen him in a while n such, I promise y'all Daryl Dixon's arms are still the most magically magnificent pieces of art ya ever did lay yer eyes on. How _does_ a man get that perfect? I got no fuckin' idea, that's how. And I gotta say it, cuz y'all know it's the damn truth and don't none of ya argue with me, Merle Dixon is a fine hunka masculinity his own damn self, and I for one would not kick his redneck ass outta bed for eatin' crackers.

But don't tell the Hub I said that, k? He gets a little bent outta shape when I go on like that about them boys. Of course I'd kill any woman who looked at him twice, so there is that ta consider.

Anyway, as is my way, it appears I have once again deviated from the story I come here ta tell y'all.

So, meanwhile back at the Mad Dawg. Y'all better get down here, the joint's fillin' up fast, every stumblebum miscreant is stumblin' on in. Course I got my own stool nice n warm. It's my favorite one cuz it affords me an excellent view of the world's most perfect pair of dumbasses, them Dixon Boys (did ya just hear that? Yeah that was me heavin' a deep sigh).

Barkeep, ya know he's a professional and all so he's ready for the onslaught of thirsty rednecks. The coolers are stocked and there's plenty of Jack on the back bar, ya know, just in case there's any broken hearts or any other manner of marital woe that needs immediate drownin'. Otherwise, it bein' Wednesday n all, most a the stinky ol' lowlifes will be stickin' ta the nectar of the gods contained in them brown bottles. And ya know they'll be frosty, cuz like I been tellin' ya for months now, Barkeep is a professional, he keeps them beers colder than a witch's nipple in a brass bra in January.

* * *

Merle walked in and little brother wasn't there yet, in fact Older Dixon had his frosty bottle half empty before Young Dixon showed. And I gotta say, as much as I lust for Daryl Dixon, when he did walk in he was lookin' damn rough, and I ain't talkin' sexy rough. I mean the kinda rough like he wished someone would just shoot him and put him outta his misery. Why the very sight of his discomfort brought a big ass smile ta Older Dixon's face. Yeah, the ear ta ear one, y'all seen it before. Yeah, damn I'm partial ta that one myself.

"Baby Brother why ya lookin' all manner of miserable n morose?"

That's when every lowlife, miscreant, stumblebum and felonious character in that smelly old joint knew Young Dixon had some kinda big trouble, cuz he did not wait for Older Dixon ta even make some smart ass remark, he just said, "Fuck you Merle."

Merle looked hurt, and rightly so, there's an order ta these things and he was hopin' for banter, ya know, some back n forth ribbin'. What was Little Brother gunnin' for, a donnybrook before the drinkin' even got seriously underway?

And ya gotta know every ear in that joint was tuned in, audio on high kids, and heads seemed ta be bent slightly toward the Dixons, and it was unnaturally quiet as we all took a big pull from our frosty one, and strained ta hear Merle's response.

"What the fuck little brother, is that any way ta show respect for yer elders? Shit, maybe I need ta kick yer young ass back inta line."

Oh we was every manner of excited then, I'm sorry, I can't help it, there just ain't nuthin' quite like watchin' them two perfect specimens of manhood try n kill each other with their bare hands. Phew, I need a fan kids, it's gettin' hotter than a three peckered billy goat in here.

Now barkeep looked behind him ta see if that old music player was there on the back bar, ya know, just in case he had ta play the national anthem n whatnot.

I mean fuck a duck kids it was only 5:15 and already the good shit was startin'! Or at least that was what all of us was hopin' for. We all drained every last drop from our brown bottles in anticipation, why barkeep was movin' faster'n than the speed of light settin' fresh ones in front of the vast assemblage of losers. Barkeep's the consummate professional, boys n girls.

It was right then that it happened, Daryl Dixon the toughest sumbitch this side of anywhere, scooted that frosty one back toward barkeep and he said in a pained voice, "Bring me a Jack, two fingers, straight up." Now Merle might notta caught on right then, but see there were tells. Young Dixon didn't want no ice in that whiskey, didn't wanna drink none a that frosty one, not even ta wash down said whiskey, and Merle saw how Daryl's hand moved for just that fleetin' moment, right ta the perfect side of his perfect cheek (the upper perfect check, sadly not the lower perfect cheek, sorry kids).

And that big ol fuckin' and kinda, okay real, lovable dumbass Merle commenced ta cacklin' like he was listenin' ta Jeff Foxworthy, "Well fuck me is right Little Brother, ya got ya a toothache, don't ya?"

Now maybe ya ain't been hangin' around the Mad Dawg long enough ta know 'bout Baby Brother and his abject fear of the dental profession. I know boys n girls, ya heard him say it, I heard him say it too, when he said, "I ain't scared a nuthin'." And I would never, ever accuse Young Dixon of spoutin' an untruth. I think in that brief moment when he uttered them words, he just forgot 'bout the dentist n all. Fuck I know I try ta forget about 'em.

And I s'pose it was cuz he was feelin' so dang rough and all cuz Young Dixon, all he could conjure up was another, "Fuck you Merle." Now of course we was all disappointed there weren't gonna be no fisticuffs, but me, bein' of the female persuasion n whatnot, ya know, a nurturer and what have ya, well I was feelin' kinda bad for Daryl, protective like and all that bullshit.

We all watched as Young Dixon threw that Jack right on down in one quick swallow, and then he just slid that glass right back ta barkeep, and barkeep knew that the only thing worse than a broken heart is a toothache, so he didn't miss a beat, he replenished Daryl's glass right now.

Now when the man threw that second one back every bit as fast as the first one, and then he slid that glass right back over for a third one, well, if it had been anyone 'sides a Dixon, barkeep mighta pulled the plug a little. But yeah, we're talkin' Dixon, and Young Dixon had _not_ come ta play.

Barkeep poured the Jack, looked ta Merle, who nodded and walked over toward the can for just a minute, slipped the cellphone outta his pocket and made a quick call. In the meantime Young Dixon was on double four.

All of us lowlifes, miscreants and generally worthless examples of humanity, was watchin' with an even deeper respect for Daryl, he was still just standin' there lookin' the same as he did when he first walked in.

Older Dixon had apparently decided now was the time ta act like a Big Brother, and he said ta Young Dixon, "Baby Brother maybe ya might wanna slow down this romance you're havin' with Mister Daniels. It ain't even six o'clock boy n ya gotta be three sheets ta the wind."

We all took a big ol' pull from our brown bottles just waitin' for Young Dixon ta tear Older Dixon a new one. But yeah, ya guessed it, all Daryl could come up with was a kinda slurred, "Fuck you Merle."

I would never badmouth Daryl, we all know that, but I was hopin' for sumthin' more original right then. Fuck, maybe even a good right hook.

But hang in there kids, now remember when I told ya Merle made that phone call? Yeah well he called in the heaviest a the heavy hitters, the toughest of the tough, the big gun. Yep, Sweet Baby come walkin' right in that stinky ol' joint in her tight little white shorts and her equally tight little pink tank top, and them short little boots, and hair lookin' just messy enough. Every horn dog of a felonious miscreant stumblebum lowlife had their eyes upon Little Boss's Boss Lady.

Her eyes were straight ahead, focused on Young Dixon – seriously boys n girls, if y'all was somewhere with a bazillion people and one of them people was Daryl Dixon, would he not be the particular people that was garnerin' your full attention? That's what I thought.

So anyways, like I was sayin', Sweet Baby marched her sweet little ass right over ta Young Dixon and she pressed herself right inta the side of him, she put a hand up and stroked it through his hair, and she asked real soft and sweet and every manner of lovin', "What's the matter Big Man?"

I can't fuckin' lie to ya, I was every bit as jealous as every other loser in the joint, 'cept they was all jealous of Big Man whilst I was hugely jealous of Sweet Baby. Course neither one a them gives two fucks about the rest of us dumbasses and our tender feelin's n whatnot.

Aw ya shoulda seen it then kids, Big Man, ya know the toughest muther fuckin' sumbitch in the south or any other part of any universe, why didn't he just lay his achin' head right down on Sweet Baby's shoulder and say, "I got me a real bad toothache Sweet Baby." Well and yeah, of course he had that one hand firmly on one a her sweet little cheeks (not one of her sweet upper cheeks, one of her sweet lower cheeks). And of course she had her tiny little hand firmly on one of his cheeks, I ain't gotta tell ya which one.

Sweet Baby she continued ta stroke his pitiful head and then she said, "C'mon Big Man let me get you home to rest."

And Merle helped Sweet Baby get her hurtin' and slightly shitfaced Big Man ta the car. Once they got him in, Merle whispered ta her, "I'll be by ta take him for his truck first thing in the mornin', ya let me know the plan when ya got one."

Sweet Baby she just gave him a little nod and said, "I'll have to call Doc Carol for help finding someone."

Ya see boys n girls, this is where the situation gets a little complicated, hairy, and all manner of difficult, cuz Daryl Dixon all by his own sweet self has managed ta alienate damn near every dentist in The Great State of Georgia. He can't seem ta help it.

There was the one, well that was the first one. That particular doc well he was fixin' ta give Young Dixon a shot of Novocain before he filled a back molar. The needle it was poised, suddenly Daryl sucked in a deep, jagged, fearful breath which nudged the dentist's hand causin' him ta hit a nerve. Holy fuck and oh dear, Young Dixon didn't even think, he reacted and what he done was, he cuffed that dentist real fuckin' hard right up the side of his head. The dentist's head, well then it hit that light thingamajig, ya know the one, hangs down right in yer damn face, makes ya think yer about ta be interrogated by the law for a crime which you did indeed commit? Yeah, that one. Plum near knocked that dentist right out. Yep, he told our boy then, "I think it's best you find another dentist."

Then there was the time that other dentist managed ta get him numbed up n all, and then he got that drill thing a goin', yeah that muther dick we all hate. Shit the noise of it is enough ta freak me right the fuck out. Well he put that thing in Daryl's mouth (shit that sounds kinda naughty don't it?), and he just kinda barely touched his tooth with it, hadn't even really got started. Young Dixon's leg seemed ta react ta that, why it flew straight up in the air. Okay, wait, it woulda flew right up in the air, 'cept for the poor little dental assistant who was innocently standin' there ready ta hand the doc a tool or whatever like that. She was in the way of Daryl's nicely shaped leg. Yeah well Daryl kicked her young ass right ta the floor. He felt real, real bad about that. Still, the dentist told him not ta bother ta ever come back. Ain't they s'pose ta take a damn oath or sumthin'?

An then there was the one…oh never mind I better get on with this here story. Now Maggie, y'all remember Maggie, I know ya ain't seen her around here in a while, but that's just cuz yer timin' is off. Anyway, ya see Maggie was there when Merle called so she just went on ahead n took Little Ol' D.J. on home with her and she told her sister, "You just call me whenever you get done tomorrow I can keep D.J. or bring him back, depending on how Daryl's doing."

I'm tellin' ya kids takin' care of Big Man's dental needs is not a one person job. So anyways, Sweet Baby gets Big Man in the house and in his favorite chair, and she gets him a big ol' glass of medicine, named Jack, and she sits her sweet little ass in his lap and she strokes that hair and as bad as he feels, he still manages ta slip a hand up her shirt and he says ta her as he's caressing her pretty little tittie, and maybe just messin' around a little with that taut nipple, "I need ta do sumthin' ta take my mind offa this tooth Sweet Baby."

And because she is a sweet, lovin' and thoughtful wife don't she just say ta him, "I'm here for you always Big Man, what can I do to ease your pain?"

And as shitfaced as he was, and as bad as that fuckin' tooth hurt he managed ta rise up right outta that chair with Sweet Baby in his arms and as he's carryin' her ta that bed, he says, "Bad Boy has a idea." And while he was energetically removin' that little pink tank top, and slidin' them tight white shorts over her tight white ass, he notices that by gawd he's already feelin' better. He tosses her real nice n gentle like right onta the bed and then he rips his own clothes off so fast it's like one a them magic tricks where ya don't even know what the fuck just happened.

And he was on top of her and then she was on top of him and they was rollin' all over that bed and they was a nibblin', and a pinchin', and a strokin', and a lickin' and a probin' maybe just a little here n there, and they was suckin' and everybody in the room was feelin' so much better, and frisky, yeah, that's it, they was frisky. And they got so fuckin' intensely frisky that yep, they managed ta roll right offa that bed. In Big Man's efforts to ensure that Sweet Baby was not injured in the fall, he took a hard hit ta the left elbow, courtesy of that night table. He didn't mind on accounta it felt a whole lot better'n a fuckin' toothache.

And in spite of his own pain, still with them magically talented fingers, and that tongue, shit that damn tongue, well and those lips, well between all them things he's got goin' for him, he managed ta take Sweet Baby ta that place, ya all know the one, or I hope ya do. Yep, Sweet Baby was a happy woman. And then she was a happy woman twice, and after the third time she was a happy woman, he said, "I can't wait no more Sweet Baby." And they was makin' each other all manner of excited and then they got happy together.

They lay there on the floor and he had an arm wrapped around her and her little head was on his chest and he said, "I love ya Sweet Baby, love ya so much."

She replied, "I love you so much Big Man."

And between the tooth, the Jack, and Sweet Baby's lovin' ways, Big Man passed right out. Sweet Baby she covered him up, and she propped a pillow under his noggin', and then she slipped on her silky little robe and she went out ta the kitchen and she called Doc Carol.

Doc Carol knew the score and she said she'd call back real soon, she had a line on someone. Sure enough within the half hour Doc called back and between her and Sweet Baby they hatched a plan for a successful dental visit. All that remained now was ta see if they could pull it off.

Since Big Man was still out of it, she went on ahead and called Merle, told him the plan. "Alright I got it little sis, don't ya worry I'll call Oscar, you call Big Boss."

The plan was in forward motion.

The next mornin' Sweet Baby gave Big Man his breakfast, she made everythin' real soft without mentionin' nuthin' about it. There was some fluffy scrambled eggs, cheesy grits n pancakes. He only managed ta eat two platefuls, on accounta his tooth was hurtin' n whatnot.

Merle come by and he enjoyed a little a that breakfast action his own self and he said ta her, "Don't ya never tell Cindy I said this, but damn, Little Sis you're the best cook I ever have known."

He took Young Dixon ta get his truck and said, real casual like, "Maybe we'll all get together this weekend if yer feelin' better n whatnot."

And Daryl nodded n said, "Yeah, okay." He didn't look one little bit like he felt okay, but he also didn't sound like he suspected anythin'. Of course, Older Dixon he didn't say squat.

Lo n behold, about 10 a.m. here come Sweet Baby and she just walked right onto that factory floor like she owned the fuckin' joint and no one thought twice about it, cept her husband, he was runnin' scared now, thinkin' sumthin' must be tragically wrong. He wrapped arms around her and he asked, "Sweet Baby whatcha doin' here, is D.J. alright?"

"Yes Big Man, D.J. is aces, I've come to tell you the good news. There's a dentist right here in town who has agreed to see you and get that tooth all fixed up."

Oddly enough, Big Man did not look one bit happy and relieved about this so called good news. "Please don't make me go Sweet Baby, can't ya pull it for me yerself, _please_."

She tried ta sooth him but really, how much of that special Dixon brand of soothin' could she do right there in front of everyone and such, so she just stroked the side a his head and said, "I'm going with you Daryl, it will be fine, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, I promise."

And when Young Dixon saw his brother comin' toward him, and Oscar comin' from the other direction, he knew, the choice was no longer his alone.

The crew got Daryl and his toothache to the dental office. As it turns out, this new dentist in town is Doc Carol's young nephew and the thing is, he needs patients, so yeah, Auntie Doc Carol forced his hand.

They managed ta get him in the dental chair, and the doc he give him some of that laughin' gas stuff, I love that shit myself. Anyway, he give him that. Merle was holdin' his legs down at the ankles, Oscar had Daryl's arms pulled up over his head n he had a tight grip on those wrists. Sweet Baby she was on the opposite side of the chair from the doc, she was rubbin' a soothin' hand along his forehead and hair and she just kept tellin' him how brave and strong, andn manly he was, and how she couldn't wait 'til he was feelin' better so's she could show him just how much she loves every single inch a him.

It started ta get a little explicit kids.

Now Merle and Oscar they didn't think nuthin' of that talk, after all, they been around Big Man and Sweet Baby enough times ta know, they don't give a fuck who knows how horny they are for each other.

But the young doc he was fightin' for concentration with all this talk that kept gettin' more and more suggestive, and his equally young female assistant was havin' a little trouble her own self. Pretty soon those two young professionals, they was both happy there weren't no patients after Daryl, they was lookin' each other in the eye and communicatin', non verbally of course, their desires ta get ta know each other in a more intimate manner. They'd get ta that as soon as Mr. Dixon's damn tooth was fixed.

And so it was that Daryl's tooth got drilled n filled, and he got some pain meds and Merle went back ta work and Oscar went back ta work, and Big Man and Sweet Baby went out ta the cabin. He took his pain pill and she lay down with him until he fell asleep.

He had a nice long nap, and when he woke he felt like new, and he smelled a real scrumptious aroma comin' from the kitchen. He walked right on in there and there was his Sweet Baby standin' at the stove. She was stirrin' him up sumthin' real delicious for dinner. She had on them tight Yoga pants and a little tiny t-shirt that showed the skin of her back and her tummy, and her hair was all up in a ponytail with a few wayward curls fallin' here n there.

He walked right up behind her and he slid an open palm up the inside of her thigh there, and he let his hand find it's way right on over there ta that sweet spot of Sweet Baby's, that spot that brought him so much pleasure, and he rubbed on it in a real lovin' kinda way, while he bent down and he kissed and he licked, and he sucked on her neck and he said, "Damn Sweet Baby, we ain't done it since last night and I can't hardly take this separation from ya much longer."

And Sweet Baby she turned around and she had her hand headed right down the front of his sleep pants, right toward his nether regions, and she told him, "Oh Big Man I been missing that Bad Boy all day. Now hurry and take me back in that bedroom before Maggie gets here with D.J."

And Big Man he done right like Sweet Baby told him, cuz he's a real good husband and he knows who's boss.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's how it all happened kids, ya can't make this shit up. Okay, big shout out to my girl Roksolana who sent me a prompt. It was not for this story, it was for my fic Little Love Stories, I asked her would she mind if I used the prompt for the Diet Dixons, and being the sweet woman that she is, she said sure, go on. The prompt was that Daryl has a toothache and is afraid of the dentist. Please leave a comment and remember - I love ya large xo gneebee


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just bring one small thing to your attention? We're on chapter 30, that's right kids, 30. Officially making this the longest one shot around :) What the hell happened kids?!  
> Big shout out and much thanks to hossfan for tellin' me a couple news items – we'll talk more about that at the end :)

Hey all y'all! Ah c'mon now, spare me the hate kids, show me the love. I know, I know I been bad, been hidin' out. Well that ain't true either is it? Been writin' all those other stories, leavin' these Dixon's and Diet Dixon lovers wantin'. I know it ain't right, but hell, I ain't right so ya gotta just try n cut me a little slack. C'mon now, we're all friends here. And all y'all know that Diet Dixons, of all my Dixons I write, well these two lovebirds they have my heart. Yep, that's how it is.

So now do I gotta remind y'all what today is? I mean that damn phone ya got, the one that's smarter'n you are, yeah, that one. Don't it have a calendar? Well ya gotta look at the sumbitch then you'd know – IT'S WEDNESDAY NIGHT! That's right. And what is it we do on Wednesday night?

I see, ya'll are still playin' that game. Do I gotta remind ya that ya don't need me ta visit the Mad Dawg, you could just get your ass down there your own self. On the other hand, I appreciate that y'all appreciate my skills at navigatin' that nasty little joint we all love so much. Ah man, boys an girls it ain't gotten no cleaner since the last time y'all were there, and it don't smell no better either. I can guarantee ya that. And the clientele? Yep they ain't classed up none neither. The place is still crawlin' with lowlifes, miscreants, riff raff, rednecks and all manner of morally questionable types. In other words, a fun group to drink with. I prefer that my drinkin' buddies be even bigger losers than me. There's comfort in it kids, ain't there?

Well anyway, times a wastin' boys n girls, we gotta haul ass down there, belly on up to that bar, ya know I got my favorite stool, and ya know them damn fine specimens of redneck manhood, the Brothers Dixon, they'll be arrivin' real soon. I got the perfect spot for viewin' 'em and the place is fillin' up fast. Get on down with your bad self.

* * *

Daryl walked in and well ya woulda been real pleased ta see the look on his face, why? Well he seen his big brother was already at the bar and Merle had an empty one in front of him, a fresh and frosty one to his lips and he had downed half of that in one swallow. And shit he looked every manner of morose and miserable. Of course seein' his brother lookin' so unhappy brought a big smile ta Younger Dixon's dangerously handsome face.

He strutted that fine ass of his right up ta the bar, barkeep, always the consummate professional, set a frosty one in front of our boy. Younger Dixon slapped Older Dixon a hard one to the back and he asked, all concerned-like and all, "What the fuck brother?"

Older Dixon why he just shook his head side ta side, lookin' more pathetically miserable by the second. Now it was gettin' concernin' ta Younger Dixon. So he ask again, "Spill it ya dumbass, what the fuck?" And the joint got real quiet, why you could hear the proverbial pin drop as every miscreant, lowlife, redneck, low key criminal in the place, includin' yours truly of course, took a big ol swallow from our frosty ones just to prepare ourselves for whatever tragic news that was ta come.

And that big ol muscle-bound hunka burnin' hot redneck love spoke, "Cindy had the fuckin' NBC news on the T.V. last night and some asshole newsman says that bars in this country are closin' down at a record pace."

And there was a collective gasp from the clientele, and we all took ta chuggin' our frosty ones like they might be the last frosty ones we ever did have. Yep, there was a panic in the ranks boys an girls, our very lifestyle was bein' threatened. What were we ta do? Start stayin' home at night and actin' like responsible adults? Oh dear Lord save us from that fate.

Sumthin' happened then, sumthin' I never seen, sumthin' that will probably never be seen again, the picture of it will never leave my mind. That's a good thing boys n girls cuz that there? It's a damn fine picture. It was right then as we was all contemplatin' this disaster we were facin' when none other than the barkeep and Younger Dixon began ta cackle. And they was loud and they was proud and they was doin' that kinda laughin' where a man can't even draw in a breath, and actual tears of laughter were streamin' down their faces. And ya knows kids laughter it's contagious, why within seconds every lowlife, miscreant redneck loser, yeah all the riff raff was laughin'. The whole joint was splittin' a seam and only two seemed ta know what they was laughin' about. That would be that Adonis of a man, Daryl Dixon, and the most important man in the place, barkeep.

Yeah everyone was carryin' on except Older Dixon, he was lookin' more pissed off by the second. Finally he could take it no more and he punched Little Brother real hard right in that beautiful arm that I was just checkin' out, and kinda droolin' over because really kids, is there a finer arm? Fuck no there ain't. But I digress.

So now of course Younger Dixon he starts ta pushin' on older Dixon and gettin' all manner of in his brother's face, and they was chest bumpin' the two finest chests in the south, and he says, "Ya sure ya wanna start that shit with me dumbass? Cuz I'll give ya some hurt if that's what ya want."

Ah that's all we needed ta hear ta build up a full head of excitement, damn a Dixon Brothers Brawl! What the hell can beat that? Well I can think of only one thing, but we ain't here ta discuss my fantasies right now.

Now in the meantime, barkeep, y'all remember barkeep, the professional n all, he had been takin' care a business while he was laughin' his own shapely ass off. He'd gotten every lowlife, miscreant, redneck dirt bag a fresh n frosty one. Oh we was in high gear for the fight.

But barkeep, I don't know what come over the man, but he spoiled the fun. He risked life and limb, he went right up ta the brothers and he said, "Next beer's on me if ya calm your asses the fuck down. We're all here ta have us a good time." Generally speakin' I hate the voice of reason, and this time was no exception.

And that's when Older Dixon said, "I can't abide no man laughin' at me."

And Younger Dixon replied, "Well ya dumbass if you'da listened ta the story with both ears you'da known they's talkin' bout them high end fancy bars, not the fuckin' Mad Dawg Tavern." And damn if both them Brothers and Barkeep didn't start cacklin' then. Cuz ya know what kids? Yep all three of 'em are dumbasses.

We all celebrated the fact that the Mad Dawg Tavern would not be shuttin' down by gulpin' down our frosty ones.

xxxxxxx

He walked in the front door and didn't little ol D.J. just run right on over and hug his Daddy's leg and say, "Hi Daddy." And didn't our man pick the boy right up in his arms, rub his little head and say, "Hey little man, Daddy missed ya today. Ya gonna play some trucks with me after supper?" And little man he smiled and nodded that cute little head. He's just the best little boy on the fuckin' planet is all.

He did that kinda swaggerin' Daryl Dixon glide into the kitchen and there was his Sweet Baby, standin' there at the stove cookin' him up sumthin' real delicious for his dinner. He come right up behind her and he slid that open palm, real slow like, up the inside a her leg and he didn't stop 'til he got ta that sweet center, and give it a gentle little squeeze and then he went ta rubbin' on it just ta let her know how much he loves and appreciates her. A man's gotta let his woman know these things, it's important for a happy home. And he moved his mouth on down ta that sweet curve of her neck and he was kissin' on it, and lickin' on it. And suckin' just a bit and he whispered, "I sure did miss ya today Sweet Baby, I've had me a semi all day just from you bein' on my mind."

And didn't his Sweet Baby turn right around in his arms and he was smilin' down at her and she was smilin' back up at him and she slid her hand right down the front of his pants, ya know down there in the nether regions, just so she could verify what he'd told her about the semi n all. And damn, it was the truth, cuz ya know Big Man he's honest about the important things.

And they commenced ta kissin' on each other and rubbin' on each other and gettin' all manner of hot n bothered and ready to say, "who needs dinner?" When in toddled little old D.J. sayin, "I'n hungy Mama." Ah shit, they had ta quit forgettin' themselves now that the boy was gettin' older and all. They was gonna try and start doin' that real soon now.

They was sittin' at the table and Daryl and D.J. was enjoyin' big ol bowlfuls of that delicious venison stew, and some of them light n airy biscuits Sweet Baby had cooked up. Now of course she was munchin' on a big ol bowl of leaves. Daryl he says ta D.J., "Ain't we a couple a lucky boys ta have your beautiful Mama cookin' us up such a fine supper?" He tousled the boys hair and said, "Now ya tell Mama thank ya."

"Tank ya Mama."

"That's a good man D.J., it's our job ta keep Mama happy."

After dinner him and D.J. was playin' with the trucks and watchin' Deadliest Catch on the T.V. Sweet Baby she was in the kitchen cleanin' up and talkin' ta her Mama on the phone. It wasn't too long 'til she come in the livin' room and said, "C'mon D.J., c'mon Daddy, time for your bath."

Now of course D.J. he jumped right up and went ta his Mama smilin', Daryl wasn't sure what was the matter with the boy, the way he liked a bath was worrisome.

He tried ta get outta his shower time, "I don't think I need one today Sweet Baby, I had me one just yesterday and I didn't hardly sweat at all today. We got A/C at work n everythin'."

She just smiled that big pretty smile at him and said, "Now Big Man, if you're going to be showing me how much you love me later don't you want to smell nice for me, don't you?"

What the fuck could a guy do but get his ass in the shower? Shit man ya just got to. He made it fast too cuz ya know, story time was comin' n all.

D.J. picked out the Cat in the Hat, which Daryl liked well enough and all like that, he just thought it'd probably be a better story if a guy was smokin' sumthin' funny. Anyway didn't matter, little ol' D.J. only made it through about half of that and he was out for the count.

That's when Big Man stood right up, swooped Sweet Baby right up in his arms and carried her sweet ass right ta the bedroom. He had those tighter'n hell yoga pants and that little bitty tank top offa her faster'n you can say, "Yoga? Ah hell no."

He removed his own sleep pants so fast he broke the land speed record. And he was on her like a kitten ta milk, and they was bouncin' around on that bed, and he was on top of her and she was on top of him and they was just a nibblin', and a suckin', and a lickin', and a pokin' here n proddin' there and just generally conductin' a full anatomical investigation of one another. It was real educational n all. Every day's a school day kids.

Right there in the midst of the educational process, why didn't Big Man just start glidin' hisself down there toward her southern hemisphere. Ya know he was a lickin' and a kissin' and suckin' here and there, just real sweet like, and when his mouth got close to it's destination didn't he lift that handsome face up toward her and utter them words, "Ya know what would be a real good idea Sweet Baby?"

Now Sweet Baby she couldn't help but ta giggle, "No Big Man why don't you tell me, what would be a real good idea?"

"Well Axel seen on the internet where a fella can rent him a big ol inflatable Irish Pub, ya know for havin' a big ass party. Why I thought we'd get us one and set it up out by the pool, have everyone over for a little doin's. Please Sweet Baby." And he give that spot we was talkin' about earlier a real nice kiss.

And Sweet Baby she was gigglin' all soft like and she said, "If that's what you want Big Man then that's what we'll do. Now finish what you started down there."

That really fired up the Big Man and he went ta work provin' ta Sweet Baby that he knows she's the best damn woman that ever walked the planet. And he made her feel it. Then they got busy with all manner of other bedroom shenanigans, why they was havin' a week's worth of good times on Wednesday evenin'.

Why they was so damn rambunctious they tumbled right offa that bed and as Big Man was grabbin' Sweet Baby ta keep her from gettin' hurt, well accidents happen boys n girls and that lamp mighta went a'flyin' off that night table. But who needs a lamp when you're in the throes a some serious aerobics? It was Cardio kids.

After Big Man give Sweet Baby a couple more turns at Nirvana, well the man could hold out no longer, and they was somewhere on the other side of the bedroom, and he said, "I got ta have ya Sweet Baby." And so he did and didn't they just reach Nirvana together. It's a beautiful thing kids.

And they was a little bruised, and a little battered, but they was a happy pair. He was holdin' his Sweet Baby in his arms, her pretty blond head on his chest and he kissed that pretty head and he told her such, "I love ya Sweet Baby."

And she told him right back, "I love you too Big Man." And they had em some sweet dreams.

Two Saturday's later Mama and Daddy showed up early to get the Little Man to spend the night at the farm with 'em. It's hard ta say who was more excited, D.J. or Grandpa cuz they was both anticipatin' the big bowls of vanilla ice cream Grandma was gonna be givin' 'em later.

Then Merle n Cindy arrived, and the fellas showed up with the inflatable Irish Pub and they set it up out there by the pool. A wave of excitement went through the Dixon family as they were beholdin' the sight of Dixon's Irish Pub. I swear Merle was rubbin' his hands together.

They got ta settin' up the party, Merle and Daryl was a course loadin' that pub up with the kegs they had ordered, one of Guiness and one of Smithwick's, cuz ya know, they was bein' authentic n whatnot. They knew no man would show up without contributin' to the booze kitty, so yeah, they wasn't worried about runnin' out before they was all dead drunk.

Now Sweet Baby, she had made a half ton of corned beef, she had it all sliced up on platters and whatnot, with all the trimmin's so's everyone could make themselves up a lovely sandwich. Of course no party would be complete without Sweet Baby's tater salad. Cindy she was a big help and she herself had brung her world famous pea salad. And they knew, no self-respectin' woman would show up at the party without food ta share. They was all high class southern born n bred ya know.

Ah kids and the whole gang showed. How could ya not? For gawd sake an Irish Pub at Little Boss' magnificent pool. Fuck, b there if ya had ta crawl.

Now Oscar and Ruby they was the first to arrive, Oscar had a case of Beamish Irish Stout and an industrial size bottle of Jameson. Whilst Ruby had made a beautiful Lemon Chiffon Pie. They was followed right behind by Axel with a case of Murphy's Irish Stout and a humongous bottle of Tullamore Dew, and Doc Carol with a big ol' bowl of sweet slaw.

Right behind them was big ol' Tyrese and itty bitty Prudence. Tyrese had a case of O'Hara's Celtic Stout and a supersized bottle of Bushmill's, while little Prudence was carrying a real nice dish of banana cream puddin'.

And it went on like that kids, Abraham and Sasha, Rosita and Spencer, they seemed ta have gotten some kind of peace agreement signed between 'em. Big Boss and Big Boss wife, Health and Giselle, I'm tellin' ya kids, if you can think of 'em they was there.

And like I said, all them good ol' boys brung booze, and all them good southern women brought food. And y'all are gonna smile when I tell ya, Sweet Baby had bought a case of Cheetos so Big Man would be her happy man. She's real sweet like that, ain't she?

Now I know I ain't gotta tell ya Sweet Baby was lookin' white hot in a white two piece suit and Big Man was thinkin' he'd like ta peel that suit right offa her, but he settled for just slippin' a hand down the back there, givin' that lower cheek a real lovin' squeeze n all. Sweet Baby didn't seem ta mind the intrusion one bit, she was known ta do a little mischievous rubbin' her own self.

The pool was fillin' up with folks fast and there was more wayward hands up bikini tops and down bikini bottoms than I have time ta mention. Let's just say it didn't matter that Ruby didn't know how ta swim on accounta Oscar had a good hold on both her northern and southern regions.

And ya know kids, the oddest of the odd couples, Axel and Doc Carol, well those two was actin' like a pair of randy teenagers. I'll drink ta that.

And we was well into the party, about three or four hours in, so ya know there had been plenty of booze consumed, it was goin' down real easy like, and the Irish music was comin' through the speakers loud n clear, the foods were bein' enjoyed and didn't seem ta be soberin' anyone up at all, and that's when it happened.

One whole side of the inflatable Irish Pub had caved right in and everyone rushed around ta the side there ta see just what in tarnation coulda happened, and damn kids, what they saw, well several of our boys, bein' pretty drunked up and all, could not maintain even an ounce of composure. The women was feelin' the same problem, although they was also feelin' a little bit bad for Rosita bein' caught, quite literally, with her pants down. And big ol' Abe also had his pants down, and it was clear ta see, that what had been in his pants was now well, you know where it was, somewhere in Rosita's nether regions.

The situation was ripe for volatility, as you can very well imagine. Sasha was not a happy woman, nor was Spencer a happy man. Now there was money changin' hands among the other boys, cuz ya know there'd been plenty a bets placed on just how long that ember that still burned between Abe and Rosita would stay tamped down. It appears to have heated right back up at the Irish Pub Pool Party and Redneck Soiree.

Sweet Baby, bein' a real fine hostess and a real good pal ta have, she threw a towel around Rosita, not that everyone hadn't already seen the goods, but ya know, decorum and whatnot like that. And Abe he pulled them board shorts up real quick. Of course now we all knew for sure he was a natural redhead.

Sasha, right there in front of everyone, didn't she just grab right a hold of Spencer, somewhere quite personal mind ya, and she told the wide-eyed fella, "Let's you n me go seek some payback." Spencer seemed to think that was just the cure needed and they was oughta there in a hot hurry to pursue that payback bliss elsewhere.

Daryl, and Oscar and Merle managed ta get the Irish Pub upright again, and the party was back on. You guessed it kids, Abe was in the pool with Rosita ridin' on his shoulders an sippin' a lovely beverage. For today at least, she fancied herself the winner.

And the big man he had Sweet Baby over in a dark corner of that Pub anf they was doin' a little feelin' around on each other, just ta make sure all their parts were intact anf whatnot like that, and they was remarkin' to each other that they was a truly lovin' couple and no other man and no other woman would ever come between them.

And damn if they weren't the cause a that Irish Pub goin' down again!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is, such as it is. I hope ya had a little bit a fun at the Mad Dawg, the cabin, and at Pool Party. A big shout out to FF friend hossfan. She sent me the tragic news story about the bars closing down and said I might write about how that would affect our boys. Then she told me later in a second PM the magnificent news that it is indeed possible to rent yourself an inflatable Irish Pub. We're livin' in magical times kids. Thanks for spending some time with me and the boys, I'd appreciate hearing your comments. Love ya large! xo gneebee


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well what do we have here kids? I'll tell you what we have, we chapter 31 of a one shot story I did FOREVER ago. The story has morphed into different things over the chapters but for me the essence is still the same, fun, good times and serious lovin' for Bethyl. 
> 
> I did start this chapter with a little prompt and I'll tell you about that in the closing notes.

00

Psst, over here, yeah it's me. You do remember me don't ya? Shit I know it's been a while but I's hopin' I wasn't that easy ta forget. Now I'm feelin' a little down.

Well fine then, I'll cry about that shit later. For now I'll just go on about my business and do what I's gonna do all along. That's right kids, I'ma take my sad ass right on down ta the Mad Dawg Tavern. They got sumthin' there that'll ease my hurt and my pain. There's a couple of good ol boys there and just lookin' at them fellas boosts my spirits right up.

Cuz I know ya know, even if ya don't remember me, surely y'all remember what it is we do on Wednesday nights. If ya don't then maybe ya best move along, ya done come ta the wrong place or maybe it's that ya already had too many adult beverages.

Me? Oh yeah ya know it boys n girls. Why I'll be proceedin' ta sit right up there on my favorite barstool watchin' three a my favorite things in the whole fuckin' world. Of course there's Barkeep, ya know how I adore watchin' that man bein' all professional and whatnot. He'll be keepin' them frosty ones just a comin'. Well of course that's providin' you're well behaved and ya got the jingle in your pocket ta pay for them frosty ones. If ya fuck up with either a them things he'll be callin' your woman ta come after ya. Ain't no man alive wants that kind of grief.

But beyond watchin' a professional who takes his profession ta new heights, I'll be watchin' Young Dixon and Older Dixon. I know I ain't gotta tell ya I'll be payin' special attention ta them arms on those hunk-a-licious brothers. It's a thing of beauty I tell ya, the way them muscles work ta lift the brown bottle to their beautiful lips is a glorious sight.

Can I get a Hallelujah? Can I get an Amen?!

Now kids, just in case your memory is failin' you I'm here ta remind ya. The smell, be prepared. I don't know when it was that the joint had its last good cleanin', or even mediocre cleanin', or any kind a cleanin' whatsoever. I think maybe Truman was president. Coulda been Roosevelt though. All I know is you and me was not only not born yet, we wasn't even a twinkle in our Daddy's eyes yet. Hell, now that I think about it, maybe our Daddies wasn't even born yet. Sheesh, it's been a while.

But I digress.

So anyway like I was gettin' at, the joint stinks like ya left the limburger cheese and the pickled eggs out all night. Then for some reason known only to you, you decided ta gut a camel on the back bar, which of course made a couple a them lowlifes puke, the result of which only added ta the special aroma.

Anyhow, do yourself a favor, don't even think about usin' the can, you're better off just holdin' it in and gettin' a bladder infection. Or better yet, just sneak around the back a the buildin' and do your thing – over behind the warehouse next door. Not Merle's plumbin' business, he'll kill ya. The other warehouse. Fuck kids, do I gotta explain everythin' to ya? Sometimes y'all are like a buncha gotdam kindergartners.

Now y'all remember how ta get there right? Oh c'mon, it's time ya just give up the dumb act okay? I know ya been there before, sheesh, I seen ya there more'n once. You was takin' in the sight a them Dixon boys. Don't even try n deny it. Not that I blame ya. Just be sure and keep your mitts offa them brothers. Otherwise Sweet Baby and Cindy will be hangin' your ass out ta dry.

Oh yeah, so anyway, it's over there in that industrial park, not the new one, the old one over there in the seedier part a town. You'll know the minute ya walk in if you're in the right place cuz you'll smell it, then you'll take in the sight of the patrons, the most worthless buncha lowlifes, miscreants, no-accounts and generally worthless fellas God ever made. They're a real lovable bunch ain't they? Cuddly and whatnot.

Hurry it along now, time's a wastin'!

* * *

I's there just awaitin', sippin' real dainty-like from my brown bottle, on accounta I'm a lady and whatnot, and then in walks Young Dixon.

I'm concerned for the boy right away, he looks a little too happy. Sumthin' is definitely wrong.

Don't ya know by the time he glides that fine ass of his on over ta his usual spot barkeep, bein' a professional and all, has a frosty one sittin' on the bar waitin' for our man . My heart rate had already risen ta new heights.

So anyway, I watched those perfect lips meet the lip of the brown bottle and I had ta fan myself. Then the heat got turned up even higher cuz Older Dixon come struttin' on in like he was gotdam Wyatt Earp or sumthin'. Barkeep had no sooner set that frosty one down than our man Merle held it up to his lips n promptly guzzled down half of it in one swallow. He's a real man, I tell ya what.

So then he's gotta right away start in on agitatin' the situation, which I can't lie is one of the reasons I'm here. I get all warm and fuzzy when them Dixon boys get ta givin' each other shit. I just can't seem ta help myself. Don't judge boys n girls, it ain't nice.

So where was I? Oh yeah, so Older Dixon, bein' the big ol' lovable instigator that he is, claps Young Dixon real hard on the back and he asks him, "What's got ya lookin' so happy baby brother? Did little ballbuster let ya get them nads back outta her jewelry box?" Then he went right ta cacklin', y'all know how he does. That big ol' dumbass. Damn I love that man. But ya knew that.

Young Dixon he give his big brother the side eye, the hairy eyeball side eye, as he growled out, "Fuck you Merle." Again I am forced ta be honest with ya kids. When that man growls that way well it kinda makes my toes curl right up. Don't ya go tellin' my man I said so neither. Ya best be rememberin' I got a little dirt on you too.

Now where was I, oh yeah. So anyway Young Dixon says, "I don't like the way ya talk about my Sweet Baby so I ain't gonna tell ya bout the party I's s'posed ta invite you too. I'm just gonna tell folks you was gonna be busy that night rinsin' out your panties."

Doncha ya know that right there got the attention of every lowlife, miscreant, no-account asswipe in the Mad Dawg Tavern, includin' yours truly. We was ready, brown bottles poised. Me? Well ya gotta know, I's hopin', prayin' really, that things would escalate. Okay, so I'm a terrible person, I admit it, but watchin' them Dixon boys throwin' blows is a sight that'll keep ya feelin' like lovin' up on someone for weeks after. It's just that good.

Now as far as all those men waitin' with their brown bottles, I think they was just wishin' they could be like them brothers, just that tough, just that ornery, just that perfect.

But yet again, I digress, ain't my fault, them boys are distractin'.

Merle he's turned pissy, "Fuck you little brother I'll kick your ass right here and right now. I want my invitation ta the party, now ya give it up."

Everyone hurried ta take a big pull from their brown bottle. This was gettin' good.

"Oh yeah ya sumbitch? I ain't tellin ya one damn thing. Suffer."

And we all took another pull, wonderin' just how much sufferin' Older Dixon would do before all hell broke loose.

I's happy as a pig in shit, barkeep was settin' down brown bottles faster than you can say, "I lust for Daryl Dixon."

Every lowlife, miscreant, no-account, shithead and general sumbitch in the joint hurried to take one more swallow, after all, these were fresh ones.

Then sumthin' happened that in a million, billion, gazillion, trillion years times ten you'da never thought, Young Dixon went ta laughin', I ain't kiddin' he was cacklin' and knee slappin'. Which was contagious as all fuckin' get out and Older Dixon he commenced ta doin' the same. Me n Barkeep we just looked at each other and shrugged. What the hell else was there for us ta do?

"A'ight I'm only gonna tell ya cuz I like Big Ballbuster and I can't wait ta see how she dresses up for this little shindig."

Why Merle's ears were perked, shit everyone's ears were perked, "Will ya spit it the fuck out 'fore I squeeze it outta ya."

Daryl got pissy then, "Ya wanna fuckin' hear it or not?"

"Ain't that what I'm gettin' at?"

"Fuck you Merle."

"Well I hope ta gawd someone does and soon." That's right, that's when I almost did a spit take of what I had just took in from my brown bottle. And them Dixon Brother's went ta cacklin' just like the redneck dumbasses that they are. Brothers ya know.

FINALLY boys and girls, FINALLY we all got to listen in and hear what the fuckin' invitation was all about.

"Doc Carol and Axel are throwin' a big party at Hard Times, ain't this comin' Saturday, it's the Saturday after."

"I'm always ready ta party at Hard Times. Not that I give two shits, but what we celebratin'?"

"We are celebratin' the anniversary a them not gettin' married."

00

He walked in the front door and there was little ol' D.J. playin' on some kinda video game doohickey there in his hands. Daryl resented the hell outta that shit right there. That wasn't playin' at all as far as he's concerned. He missed playin' trucks, now that was playin'. And the dumbass show that was on the TV didn't set well with him either. Sumthin' about mutant teenagers and turtles. He'd rather watch them dumbass Wonder Pets or Team Umizumi than nasty lookin' teenagers.

"Hey Little Man, Daddy's home, ain't that excitin'?"

"Hey Daddy." Daryl could see by the way the kids' eyes never left the screen he wasn't all that excited ta see Daddy.

He didn't have time ta think about no hurt feelin's though cuz he could see her there in the kitchen. She was standin' there at the stove cookin' him up sumthin' real delicious, he was sure a that. But right now he didn't give a fuck if it was delicious or not. All he cared about was she was wearin' the tiniest pair a shorts he'd ever seen, so tiny her sweet little cheeks was kinda hangin' out the back of 'em there and all. That little t-shirt wasn't providin' much coverage either. It was tighter than a gnat's ass stretched across a rain barrel and cropped up there right under her sweet little titties.

Yeah, he was thinkin' D.J. needed ta go ta bed right now and so did he and D.J.s Mama.

He walked in the kitchen and got up real close behind her and all, then he slid an open palm up the inside a her thigh real slow n easy, and right on over ta paradise. He couldn't help himself, it wasn't his fault, it was the fault a them teeny tiny shorts n all, he had ta do it. He slipped a finger, maybe two, up inside them little shorts, explorin' what he found there. He was further encouraged by the fact she seemed ta backup right into him, and he knew what that moan meant too.

He sucked on her neck and nibbled around there a bit, then he whispered in her ear, "The fuck's goin' on Sweet Baby? How come ya ain't wearin' no skivvies?"

She dropped the spoon in the pot and turned 'round there in his arms and she wasted no time at all makin' a grab for the Bad Boy. "Oh Big Man all I've been able to think about all day is makin' it with you."

Well now Daryl he don't need much encouragement anyway, not when it comes ta Sweet Baby. So now he's thinkin' he might need ta lay her down right there in the kitchen and take care a what they was both needin', real bad. Husbandly duties and whatnot.

Her hand was there on his nethers whilst his fingers were all up in her nethers, and his other hand somehow, of its own free will, had found its way up inside of that tiny little t-shirt and right onto one of them sweet little titties, and they was havin' themselves a real fine time right there in the kitchen.

That's when D.J. come a wanderin' in sayin', "I'n hungry Mama, pease." You never saw two people in the history of cleanin' up their act and tryin' ta look innocent, clean up their act and try and look innocent as fast as Big Man and Sweet Baby did.

Sweet Baby she tried real hard to sound like a sweet and lovin' Mommy, ya know, instead of a hot and horny housewife, and she said, "Just two minutes Sweetheart, it's almost ready."

All Daddy could think was, well fuck I's already ready.

They sat down there at the kitchen table and Daddy an D.J. they was enjoyin' the beejesus outta big ol' bowls of elk stew and homemade buttermilk biscuits with sweet butter, while Sweet Baby was tacklin' a bowl of leafs. But Big Man and Sweet Baby was not able ta keep their eyes off one another and I swear they was squirmin' in their seats.

Daryl damn near forgot ta tell her the big news. "Hey Sweet Baby ya need ta see if Gramma and Grandpa can watch D.J. a week from Saturday. Doc Carol n Axel is throwin' some or other kinda anniversary party down at Hard Times."

"Oh goodie I can show off my new dancing skills. I was going to wait and show you later, but I'll tell you a little about it. Cindy invited me to take dance classes with her and we had our first lesson just today."

"Well Sweet Baby I thought you was already the hottest little dancer in town, why the hell would ya need lessons?"

"Well this is different Daryl, its exotic dancing, belly dancing to be exact. It might be what made me, ummm, anxious for bed tonight."

Lord a'mighty. Big Man was real interested in seein' just what all Sweet Baby mighta learned at these here lessons. He was startin' ta think his jeans musta shrunk in the washer. Hell this will really throw ya for a loop, he even asked Sweet Baby if he could help her with the dishes just to, ya know, kinda rush bedtime along.

She just smiled all coy like, "Now Big Man we'd never get a dish done. Why don't you take that video game away from D.J and you boys play with the trucks."

"Okay Sweet Baby but just give them dishes a quick rinse K? They ain't that dirty."

Finally she was done and she come in the livin' room there and said, "D.J. it's time for your bath sweetie." She did not even have ta ask Big Man, yep, that's just how serious this was. "I'ma take my shower too Sweet Baby, I gotta be smellin' good." And the man himself, Daryl Dixon, actually winked at Sweet Baby. I'm here ta tell ya it was some romantically serious shit goin' on, world class lustin' and whatnot.

He took even a faster shower than usual, but he did get all his important parts cleaned, bein' careful not ta dwell too long on any particular parts, cuz yeah, things was serious.

For the first time ever he was not all that interested in story time, he just could not make himself concentrate on "Aliens in Underpants Save the World." Not when all he was thinkin' about was her lack of underpants.

Anyway thank you to the powers that be, D.J. conked out halfway through the adventure. Sweet Baby had that book back on the shelf and they were outta that room and in their room with that door shut n locked faster'n you can say, "HOT."

He had them sleep pants off and tossed in the corner and his bare ass sittin' on the edge a the bed, "C'mon Sweet Baby, show me what all ya learned today." I think he drooled right then.

You know Sweet Baby, she's a real good wife and she don't mind showin' her husband a good time, not one tiny bit she don't. She went right into action. Them hips was a rotatin' around some, and I am not one ta judge, ya know I'm not, but I'm just sayin', just so ya know, the way she started dancin' there well it was a whole lot more like a stripper's moves than belly dancin' (not that I know one fuckin' thing about strippin'. Don't ask.)

So now Daryl musta been thinkin' like I's thinkin' cuz he said, "Do it Sweet Baby, take it off." Ah don't ya know boys n girls, she slid them hands real slow and sexy along her hips and across her little bare belly, she flashed him a tittie, then she flashed him another tittie and then that shirt was off and she had perfect aim, don't ya know she tossed it right on the lampshade.

Big Man didn't have time ta notice, his eyes was on the prize. "Keep goin' Sweet Baby, ya stop that grinnin' and ya drop that linen." But ya know, as sweet as Sweet Baby is, she was feelin' extra naughty and in the mood ta make Big Man suffer just a little. And anyway, it was a kind a sweet and delicious sort a sufferin'.

She popped the button on them shorts while she kinda twerked around in a little circle there, runnin' her hands along her hips 'til her tight little ass was facin' him. She spread her feet apart, oh a foot or so, then bent straight down at the waist, lookin' right at him through those spread legs, then go ta hell if she didn't slide her own open palms up the inside a her legs, from her ankles clear on up ta paradise, and she done it real, real, real slow.

That was it for Big Man, he could take no more of the torture. He come justa flyin' offa that bed and he scooped her right up and he laid her on that bed and he pulled them damn shorts offa her his own self. Faster'n you can say "Horny."

They was both about ta melt from the heat they was generatin'. They was rollin' all over on that bed and they was a lickin', and a pinchin', and a suckin' and takin' some pretty good nibbles. Her dainty little hand was plenty strong and it had a good hold on his nethers, and his fingers had found a hot n wet place where they was made ta feel welcome; I mean if ya was just judgin' by the moanin' comin' from Sweet Baby and the way she was playin' with her husband's personal parts – ya know - all the main ones.

They can't seem ta learn them Young Dixons, they was just so busy gettin' all up in each other's personal regions, and they was just a rollin' around and all and damn if they didn't roll right offa that bed. He managed ta flip himself around so he took the brunt a the impact, but still he felt obliged ta see ta Sweet Baby's well bein', on accounta he's the world's most lovin' husband and all. So he started down there at her toes and he commenced ta kissin' and lickin' on her as he slowly moved on up her legs, makin' sure whatever mighta got hurt he kissed it better.

Well anyways that's how it went til his mouth landed on paradise. He had ta linger there a while just ta make sure it was properly cared for. All this lovin' care and devotion on Big Man's part caused Sweet Baby ta reach Nirvana with a squeal. He was pretty sure she was healed up then, but just ta be positive, cuz ya know how Big Man is real nurturin' and thorough and all, he lingered there til it happened again, just ta be extra sure.

Sweet Baby she so appreciated his lovin' and carin' ways she thought it best that she should care for his nethers in the same lovin' way. She headed to his southern region and he had no objection, who doesn't want to be well cared for? Anyway, but he soon had ta stop her, cuz Big Man likes ta be in paradise when the moment comes – ya know – ta cum.

"Ya best get on top Sweet Baby, I don't want that sweet little ass gettin' no rug burns." She climbed right up there on her favorite spot in the whole world, slidin' what she found there right inta paradise. Don't ya know that caused Big Man ta let out a big growl as he went ta pinchin' them pretty little nipples, whilst she was gyratin' her stripper hips around. By golly if she didn't reach Nirvana for the third time that evenin', and then Big Man he decided to go right along there with her.

They was both exhausted and breathin' hard and she just lay there right on top a him. His voice was all manner of raspy when he told her, "Love ya so much Sweet Baby." And Sweet Baby her voice was on the rough side it's own self when she answered back, "I love you so much Big Man." They're a lovin' pair I tell ya what. An neither moved til that alarm went off the next mornin'.

After enjoying a breakfast fit for a king, Big Man went ta work with the delicious lunch she had packed him and a big ass smile on his face.

00

The Saturday after Saturday come around and Grandma and Grandpa Greene they showed up there at the residence of the Young Dixon's, oh right about three o'clock. It's hard ta say whose smile was bigger, Little Ol D.J.'s or Grandpa Greene's. Cuz don't ya know, they both knew Grandma was gonna let 'em have a big ol bowl a vanilla ice cream after supper. YeeHaw!

Big Man and Sweet Baby was headin' on over ta that fancy hotel, ya know the one where they always stay when they go ta Hard Times. The joint had started ta charge Daryl a damage deposit on accounta how he and Sweet Baby tended ta get all rambunctious and break shit an whatnot. Big Man he didn't mind, there wasn't nuthin' he liked doin' more'n he liked gettin' rambunctious with his Sweet Baby, and he was more than willin' ta pay the toll.

First thing they did was they met up with Cindy and Merle there in the fancy hotel bar. Yeah, you're right, they did not fit in with the clientele at all. However, they did not give one single fuck, they was all feelin' kinda parched and in need of an adult beverage. You gotta know how that feels, I know I do.

But I digress. Them brothers was loud and they was proud and they was talkin' about what all kinda manner of hell was ta be raised later that evenin'. Sweet Baby n Cindy was a gigglin' and a talkin' about what they was gonna wear and how they was doin' their hair and whatnot. They was makin' plenty a noise but the mixologist (that's what they call them barkeeps in snooty joints) in the tie and the cocktail waitress in the black pants and white shirt (the brothers was wonderin' what the fuck ever happened ta cocktail waitresses in skirts up ta their ass and their titties all exposed) did not seem to mind the craziness that the Dixon family brings. Dixons tip accordingly.

So now they all went up ta their rooms ta get ready for the big evenin'. They give themselves more'n enough time in case anyone was in a mood ta do any pushups or whatever prior ta headin' out. As it turned out Big Man and Sweet Baby had waited ta take their shower til they got there.

Big Man, bein' the tender, lovin' and thoughtful husband that he is got Sweet Baby all lathered up in that bath gel she likes so much. Shit he likes it too, and he was washin' her all over real good and all, and then she started ta rotatin' them hips for him. They barely got rinsed 'fore he was layin' there on that fluffy bathroom rug and she was sittin' on him - I'ma let you decide where exactly it was on him ya think she was sittin' - yeah, there. They had ta take another shower.

Now y'all know what Big Man was wearin' ta the festivities, he did too on accounta Sweet Baby happened ta find him ta be the sexiest man alive in that particular ensemble. And have I not told you three hundred n eighty five million times, Daryl Dixon is not a complete idiot. He knows a happy Sweet Baby makes for a happy Big Man. So yeah, black jeans, black motorcycle boots, black shirt – sleeves intact- and the black leather vest with the angel wings. Sweet Baby's very own man in black.

Lemme just say, when Big Man saw Sweet Baby he almost fucked up the whole evenin, that's right, he almost told her she couldn't go out in view of the general public wearin' what little bit a clothes she was wearin'. But yet again I tell ya, Daryl Dixon is not a complete idiot. He knew if he wanted some a that later, and I think we all know he wanted some a that later, he had better just say what he said, which was, "Holy fuck Sweet Baby you're just too gawd damn hot for this world. I'ma be the proudest man walkin' ta be walkin' beside ya."

When he said shit like that it always just melted Sweet Baby. C'mon now my girls, you'd get all melty too if you was lucky enough ta have Daryl Dixon speak to ya in a such a way as that right there. But this ain't about us and our melted panties. Is it now? No, sadly it ain't.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot ta tell ya what it was Sweet Baby was wearin'. We'll start with the shorts - short bein' the operative word – yep – it was February and Sweet Baby gave not one single fuck, she had on the tiniest pair a shorts available for purchase in the Great State a Georgia. They not only came up high on her cheeks, not her upper cheeks, her lower cheeks, but they was cut down ta way low on her hips, damn near ta her hairline, not the upper hairline the lower hairline. They was white an lacy but who really gives a fuck about that?

Anyway, her top, well it was white too, also lacy an tighter than a bug's butthole. Yep, just that tight. It was cut high up on the shoulders, cuz we already know she don't give a fuck that's it's February an colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra outside. But again, I digress. It barely came ta just right under Daryl Dixon's favorite little set a titties in the whole wide world. Dixons ain't trendsetters or fashionistas, but then they ain't tryin' ta be. They're just out ta please themselves and each other - pfft – so now ya won't be surprised ta know she had a big ol red fake jewel thing there in her bellybutton, cuz duh, she's a belly dancer. Footwear? Well they were white too, and they were patent leather – yeah, all shiny an whatnot – boots, the kind that fit real, real tight, and also go up ta just passed the knees – with heels, high heels.

Ya got it don't ya? Daryl wanted ta throw her down right then and right there and show her just how much he loved her. What he feared was every man that saw her was gonna be thinkin' the same thing he was. Yeah, he'd be on Beth-watch whilst they was at Hard Times. Probably an appropriate name right there, the hard part anyways.

He kept a hand cupped on her lower cheek and she kept a hand slid in his back pocket, as they made their way ta the lobby ta meet up with the Older Dixons. Now ya won't be at all surprised cuz ya seen it a billion times, Cindy was dressed practically the same as Sweet Baby, 'cept her little top was bedazzled - as is fittin' for Cindy. The other differences bein' a course, Cindy had ten years and 50 pounds on Beth, and let's put it gentle-like, muscle tone, Cindy didn't have any a that. But ya also know that as far as Merle Dixon was concerned Cindy was hotter than a three peckered Billy Goat – and he likes a little fuller figured woman, a little cush for the push, and whatnot like that.

Everybody has their thing kids, it makes the world go round (and the beds bounce an whatnot).

So they made their way into the Hard Times and the place was rockin'. Big Man he saw the way the men were checkin' out his Sweet Baby, he didn't mind too much, as long as only lookin' was involved, and yeah, he cupped that hand just a little bit tighter onto that lower cheek. Ya didn't have ta be a soothsayer ta know there was probably gonna be trouble later on, so Daryl went right over first thing and handed Abe three fresh and crispy one hundred dollar bills, ya know, ta pay for the damages that would no doubt occur when whatever the fracas was began.

First round a beers was on Abe, and then a little dose of panic went through Daryl when Beth ordered a shot of Fireball. Uh oh, he could see it comin', Sweet Baby was out ta burn the joint down. What can a man do? Nuthin' but watch the action and then later on try and put that woman's fire out, in the best possible way a course.

And shit if the women was havin' whiskey, them Dixon brothers had ta get their fill too and once the Dixon brothers start ta drinkin' whiskey, what the fuck, everyone starts drinkin' whiskey. They are trendsetters in that respect.

So now everyone's gettin' all manner a tuned up celebratin' the anniversary of shackin' up or whatnot, and they are all several beers and several shots a whiskey into the evenin' when Sweet Baby and Cindy start ta talkin' about them belly dancin' classes and what all they have learned.

Cindy, God Bless her ever lovin' heart starts ta give Merle a little demonstration. Now everyone else may be lookin' a little, well um, ya know, how can I say this. Well ya get it, but what they think don't matter even one tiny bit, cuz Merle Dixon is appreciatin' all a what he is seein', why he's a whistlin' and swirlin' his own hips around in response ta Cindy's moves.

Sweet Baby, she is a sweetheart ya know that, she encourages her sis in law, "Ooo sexy Cindy!" Daryl is sayin' nuthin', he's just thinkin' how grateful he is it ain't Beth, which o course is right when Beth decides she's gonna join in the fun.

Now when she gets ta shakin' her hips and gyratin' around things are different, some cat callin' ensues, well until Daryl casts one a them squinty-eyed looks around the room. That shuts their mouths but not their big ol eyeballs. Daryl he can't help himself, he ain't all demonstrative, not like Older Dixon, but believe it he is appreciatin' Sweet Baby's moves just a whole helluva lot, he's gettin' worked up. He turns ta order another beer, tryin' ta cool down his own fire.

He turns back around just in time ta see that asshole Simon make that move behind Beth, ya know the one, like a ruttin' bull, whilst makin' a grab for Sweet Baby's ass. Abe saw it comin' and didn't even try and stop him, shit, he couldn't blame Daryl. Simon had broke the ultimate rule of decorum, he had attempted ta touch a Dixon woman.

Big Man grabbed up Simon, while Merle grabbed the women and pulled em outta the way, and Big Man went ta beatin' Simon senseless – or more senseless. Anyways, fists was a flyin' and then Simon's woman, some trashy lookin' mongrel dog, decides ta jump in and fight for her man. Apparently she did not see what that man had done or she'd be helpin' out Daryl.

Well anyway, that dumbass woman jumps on in the mix of Daryl and Simon. Cindy ain't havin' no random broad hurt her kin and she reaches out her arms ta grab ahold a the aggressor. I'll be go ta hell if one a her sizable titties don't just pop right outta the bottom a that tiny top she's wearin'. A course that don't stop Cindy, she's out for blood now. There's punchin' and rollin' and now Sweet Baby is in the fray, tryin' ta keep that nasty witch from hurtin' her husband and her very best friend in the world.

Merle, he knows better than ta jump in, it ain't proper fight etiquette, not at all. He does the only thing a man can do at a time such as this, drink. He slams down a shot a whiskey and chugs a whole bottle a beer in one swallow. Damn. I do love that man.

Cindy gets that troll pinned and Sweet Baby is at the ready, but Cindy had it handled and she just knew that woman needed one more good hair pullin', that's when the whole fuckin' top slid up and both a Cindy big ol' titties were on full display to the patrons of Hard Times Bar & Grill.

What does her ever lovin man do? He's a cacklin', whistlin', pumpin' his hips and callin', "Damn if my wife don't have her one fine set a tatas." Cindy smiled at her man, she liked it real well that he appreciated what a lucky sumbitch he was.

That's when the national Anthem commenced ta playin' an everyone stood an faced the flag, hands over their hearts – a special buncha patriots is what they are. Now Merle he was standin' there right behind Cindy and he wrapped his right arm around the front a her, clampin' his hand onto her left tittie, only on accounta he figured that's where her heart was, under her tittie. Patriots I tell ya.

Simon was crawlin' out the door on his hands and knees, his woman rubbin' her head and walkin' with a limp behind him, and we heard her say, "You're a huge fuckin' disappointment." I don't think he was gettin' no lovin' at all that night.

Daryl looked at Abe and asked, "We good?"

Abe nodded, "Yeah, I think ya even got enough ta cover ya next time."

They nodded ta one another and then Daryl picked his Sweet Baby right up and put her over his shoulder and she was just a gigglin', "Oh Big Man you're so strong."

He clamped his hand right on her sweet little ass and said, "I'm fixin' ta show ya just how long and strong I can be Sweet Baby."

Now Merle he assisted Cindy as best he could in pullin' that top back down, it was a goner kids, ready for the rag bag. No one cared. They walked back to the hotel with him walkin' behind her, one hand clasped onto each tittie, ya know, helpin' a gal out and all.

I don't need ta tell ya them redneck Dixons all had them a real good time back in their fancy hotel rooms. Big Man didn't mind payin' for them damages one bit, hell the lap dance was only an appetizer and it alone was worth the price a the lamp and the bedside table they broke later. Ya know, when things got rambunctious and whatnot.

Anyway that's exactly how it all happened, you can't make that shit up kids. So what's been goin' on over on your side a town?

00

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leftmywingsathome asked me to do a chapter where Beth takes stripper classes and even has a stripper pole installed in Big Man and Sweet Baby's bedroom. I just didn't think Beth would do that pole on account of Little Old D.J., so I asked if Belly Dancing would do ;) Thanks for going along Wings!
> 
> I hope you had some fun and I'd love to read your comments. Until next time remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get yourself a frosty one kids, we're going to have a big chapter!

00

Psst, Hey kids, yeah you. Yeah, it's me.

Whaddya mean where the hell I been? Where the hell you been?

Okay, okay, so I know I ain't been around but get honest boys n girls, you ain't been around either. It ain't like ya don't know where ta find me. C'mon now, every Wednesday night I'm right there in that very same spot. Perched high upon my stool, tightly clutching a brown bottle in my dainty little fist. My eyes are wide open and alert as I gaze upon the most beautiful sight ever created. The deliciousness that is the Dixon Brothers.

All ya gotta do is get offa your ass n c'mon down to the Mad Dawg. Any Wednesday night, that's where I'll be. I call Wednesday Happy Hour – the whole fuckin' day n night – Happy Hour. Mad Dawg's got the best Happy Hour of any fuckin' bar anywhere. No, don't be silly now, the drinks ain't free. And no, hell no, there ain't no free snacks, pfft, that's just crazy talk. Anyway that shit don't matter. Wednesday night is Happy Hour cuz that's when them Dixon brothers show up – with their ARMS, at the sleaziest little dive bar this side of, well anywhere. I swear I think the joint has grown a thick and nasty crust on it. And the smell. Oh lawd a'mighty, the smell. I've just about taken ta rubbin' a little a that mentholated stuff under my nose ta mask the powerful stench. However, that would undoubtedly affect the flavor of my beer. I can't be havin' that kids.

Anyhow, none a that matters one iota cuz shit boys n girls, anywhere them Brothers are is everywhere I wanna be.

So besides that an all, guess what? That's right, it ain't Wednesday. Now before ya get all shook an wanna know what the fuck I think I'm doin' now, lemme just explain. After all, ya know it ain't my goal ta upset and confuse ya. Although I do kinda dig shit like that, ya know, stirrin' the pot n all.

But yeah, this ain't like that.

It's just that, ya see, well it's the thing I come here ta tell ya about. It's the thing that caught hold of the man himself, our very own Little Boss, Big Man, Little Brother, Daryl Dixon. It all started on a Tuesday night whilst he was enjoyin' a delicious dinner with his Sweet Baby and little ol D.J.

Yep, sumthin' got said right there at the dinner table and it festered in him and it fermented, it simmered and then it boiled up, and by Wednesday night, well it oughta be ripe and ready ta explode.

But shit, I'm gettin' ahead a myself.

Now I don't want ya ta get all panic stricken. I know you was lookin' forward to a visit ta the Mad Dawg and a frosty brown bottle containin' the deliciousness that is an ice cold beer. I ain't takin' that away from ya boys n girls. Shit, I know I'm mean, but even I ain't _that_ cruel. We'll get there further along in the story.

Anyway kids, boys n girls, ladies n gents, gender neutrals and lowlifes of every possible persuasion, description, socio-economic background and variety, if ya act proper there could even be, that's right, Jack Daniels.

Yeehaw and Shit Howdy!

Let's do this thing we like ta do…

It was Tuesday night. Tuesday. I told ya before and I'm here ta tell ya again, the only thing Tuesday ever had goin' for it is it ain't Monday.

So anyway, Daryl he'd taken the bike ta work that mornin', on accounta he wanted to, and that evenin' he came roarin' in the driveway an hour late. No, not because he decided ta celebrate Wednesday on Tuesday, sheesh, it was on accounta the Big Boss had looked at him all pitiful n asked, "Please just stay an extra hour Little Boss. I want to join that fantasy football league thing y'all are in. I just need you to explain to me one more time exactly how it works."

Pfft, talk about impossible. Daryl figured tryin' ta explain fantasy football to Big Boss was gonna be a lot like tryin' to explain Einstein's Theory to Merle. But whatever, it didn't matter cuz Big Boss slipped Little Boss a crisp Benjamin when he asked him. So yeah, Little Boss was gonna tell Big Boss one more time just how that fantasy football shit went.

Well a course he called Sweet Baby first and told her he'd be an hour late. He could swear that woman of his purred when she said, "Well alright Big Man, if that's what you have to do, but darn, I sure am missing you." Well fuck me, never had he talked so fast as he did Tuesday night explainin' fantasy football to Big Boss, usin' words like the man was D.J.'s age. Maybe even younger.

Anyway, now I forgot where I was.

Oh yeah, so Daryl screeches into the driveway and he practically flies offa that bike and he scurries into the Dixon Domicile. Sitting there on the livin' room floor is his pride and joy, D.J. His boy is playin' with the toy motorcycles his Daddy got him and Daddy could not be happier, he hates to see the kid on the gotdamn fuckin' tablet. So this causes Daddy ta have a big ol smile on when he says, "Hey D.J., Daddy's home, ain't ya excited?" D.J. looks at him and actually smiles, thoroughly warmin' his Daddy's heart. And his Daddy asks the boy, "Did ya miss me?" And the little fella says, "Yep, I missed ya." And now Daddy is feelin' all manner of special and his heart is all kinds of toasty, so he asks one more question, "How was your first day a preschool?" And the boy answers, "Good, I learned my phone number." Cool. By then the little fella had talked all he was gonna talk and he was back ta watchin' Teen Titans Go and playin' with the motorcycles.

That's okay too because his Daddy looked up and he could see her there, his Sweet Baby. She was standin' there at the stove, her back to him while she stirred him up a big pot a something delicious for his dinner. And damn, she looked ta be half-naked. The way it appeared was that all she was wearin' was an oversized t-shirt. But boys n girls (and all you other varieties too) our favorite jet engine mechanic knows it's always best ta thoroughly investigate such matters, just ta be sure. It's called fact checking kids.

He walked up behind her and I know ya know what he done next. Let's keep in mind, it was strictly for research purposes that his open palm started at about her knee and slid up the inside a her leg. Real, real slow like, while his lips was there next to her ear. Just maybe he took a little lick of her neck on his way ta that ear. Then, well a course, he had ta have a little nibble on that pretty lobe.

It was just about that time that his hand had reached the vicinity of Sweet Baby's Sweet Spot. Damn, it was covered with something, but just barely. So he whispered, "Hey Sweet Baby, your man is home. What's this here ya got on? I's thinkin' maybe you was naked under that shirt."

She was leaning back into him and she told him, "Don't be silly Big Man. That's my new bikini. D.J. and I went for a little swim after I picked him up from preschool. I just thought maybe I'd wait until later to shower because I had an idea, you know, just thinking maybe you could help me with that." And on those happy words Big Man's lips were sucking on Sweet Baby's neck and his finger had slipped inside those bikini bottoms and right there into Paradise.

That shit there? A man actin' that way? It can be mighty distracting when you are tryin' to prepare a delicious dinner for your family. And just who the fuck gives a rat's ass?

Shit I wouldn't.

Oh yeah, right, so anyway, shit, I got distracted for a minute by vivid thoughts. So anyway, Sweet Baby moaned and he whispered in her ear, "Shh Sweet Baby, ya don't want Little Man ta hear." She turned around in his arms and she whispered back, "I can't help myself, I've been so lonesome for you today, I want you, I need you Big Man."

Now some far lesser man mighta been thinkin' shit, just this mornin' before I went ta work I rolled her around that whole fuckin' bedroom, made her cum three times for crissake. Ain't she ever happy? She tryin' ta kill me or what? But not Big Man. He was right there with her, "I'ma give ya everythin' ya want Sweet Baby, twice, maybe three times, just as soon as Little Man's head hits the pillow." Hot damn.

In the meantime, they was having a little prelude, what ya call an appetizer, an hors d'oeuvre, a preview of coming attractions. Her little hand had slipped right down the front a his britches, right down to his southern hemisphere. When she felt what was there, well she moaned again. Meanwhile Big Man's finger was ticklin' her fancy real sweet and nice-like, and he told her, "Got damn Sweet Baby you're makin' my dick as hard as my head."

And fuck a duck, Sweet Baby she did not miss a beat, she whispered right back, "That's just how I like it."

Kids, it was hotter than a fucking firecracker in July in that kitchen when who should walk in? I think y'all know, it was the Little Man, "Mama, I'm hungry."

In all your life you never saw two people scramble faster or try harder ta look innocent. Sweet Baby had flipped herself in a full circle right back in front a the stove, "It's almost done Honey, just five more minutes." In the meantime Big Man was pushin' down the front a his jeans with one hand and yanking the refrig open with the other, "I sure could use a cold beer." Yeah, I bet.

They all sat down there to the dinner table and just the same as always Sweet Baby had outdone herself. Big Man was enjoying himself a big platter of chicken fried elk steak with mashed taters n country gravy, sweet corn and biscuits. D.J. was havin' the same, while Sweet Baby she was munchin' away on a big ol bowl a fresh leafs. That's when it happened, right then when everythin' was so damn perfect you knew sumthin' had ta go wrong. Sure enough, sumthin' did.

Daddy leaned over and he said ta Little Man, "Ain't we the luckiest boys in the whole world D.J.? Your Mama treats us like a couple a kings, don't she? Look here the way she feeds us. Ain't it special?"

Little ol D.J. smiled that precious smile of his and he looked at his Daddy with those big innocent blue eyes and he replied in his sweet little child's voice, "Yeah and goddamn she gots a rockin' hot body too."

It was like all the air had been sucked outta the room, maybe sucked outta the whole house, maybe sucked outta the whole damn county. I'm here ta tell ya my lovely children, the atmosphere was akin ta Mars. Big Man barely got that bite a steak swallowed and he hurried and washed it down with his entire bottle a beer. Sweet Baby? Well her mouth had dropped open at the same time she dropped her fork right in those leafs.

D.J. was the only one who did not seem ta realize the situation was catastrophic. He just kept enjoyin' his delicious dinner. He's a real good little eater that boy is. Well anyway, his Daddy looked at his Mama and he asked, "That ain't an expression I use. Where ya s'pose he heard that?" Okay, so there mighta been just the tiniest amount a steam comin' outta his ears. He wasn't accusin' Sweet Baby a anythin' mind ya, oh no gawd forbid, he learned better than that several chapters ago. You remember that one kids. Anyway, he just wanted ta know who D.J. mighta overheard say them words, ya know, so he could kill the mutherfucker.

And ya know, Sweet Baby she didn't know where it came from either, but it didn't matter cuz even if she woulda she wouldn't have had time ta answer cuz D.J. piped right up, "It was Albert's Daddy. He likes you Mama, he licked his lips and everythin'. He said ya look like a real tasty treat."

Kids. Do I even gotta tell ya? That delicious dinner was ruined.

Big Man pushed back from the table – it was like every beautiful fuckin' muscle in that man's entire body was twitchin' and flexin', them arms was tighter than a gnat's ass stretched across a rain barrel, and he barely got the words outta his mouth, "I gotta check sumthin' in the shed, be right back." She didn't argue, she didn't question. She knew he was a fucking mess, shit, if some kid's mama had talked about her Big Man that way she woulda been lookin' to kick some ass herself.

Daryl got out to the shed, he picked up that 10 pound hammer and he like ta break the work bench poundin' on it while every swear word that was ever invented, ever will be invented, or has ever been spelled incorrectly poured outta his mouth, in a voice that was 20 decibels louder than usual. Do you get what I'm sayin' here? He was fuckin' pissed.

Cuz ya know really, who wouldn't be?

By the time he came back in D.J. was back in front a the T.V. and back ta playin' with the motorcycles. Sweet Baby had cleared everythin' from the table except Daryl's dinner plate and she was washin' up the dishes.

She sensed him walkin' toward her (she always' did, it's just 99.9% a the time she acts like she's got no idea, on accounta that would spoil the fun. Sheesh kids. Don't ya know?) This here that was goin' on though, this was a whole different ball a wax. She turned around, "I'm sorry Big Man, that was the first I'd heard any of that. I just, well I'll talk to D.J. about it and let him know it's not right that a man should talk about his Mama that way. I'm sorry." Oh fuck yes, like that was gonna appease the Big Man. pfft

He pulled her to him and he was holding her close. Well okay yeah, so he'd slipped her t-shirt up and his hand might have slipped down inside that impossibly tiny bikini bottom and just maybe, maybe, he was exploring her nether regions. But that's not all. He also whispered in her ear, "The guy ain't wrong, ya got the hottest fuckin' body in this or any other solar system, and there damn sure ain't no denyin' you're tasty, real tasty. But that don't give that lowlife-scumbag-motherfuckin'-sumbitch-needle-dicked-bug-fucker the right ta say it, 'specially not where our boy could hear."

"Ya do what ya gotta do here, I'll take D.J. in his room and explain things ta him man ta man." By the time he got all that said they was both pantin' heavy, on accounta his hand had never strayed from her nethers. But there was other important matters ta be taken care of and so he bravely drew away. He even managed a smile, he licked his lips and promised, "Soon Sweet Baby, and ya better take a vitamin."

Big Man and Little Man were in that bedroom for about 10 minutes, while in the meantime Sweet Baby had quickly downed a shot of Fireball and had eaten two of D.J.'s Flintstone gummi vitamins. Then Big Man called to his Sweet Baby, "D.J.'s ready for his bath Mama."

Sweet Baby got that little guy washed up and slicked up in record time, she even helped him put his PJs on and everythin'. Oh he knows how, he's four years old n all, but it takes too long and Sweet Baby didn't have that kind a time. She had a shower date with the Big Man and with the kind of mood he was in she was sure it was gonna be the best damn shower any two people ever did take.

But first it was story time. Now on any other given night story time is one a Daddy's very best favorite times a the day. He loves a good story. But this night his mind was in a different kind of place. The place where it was plannin' ta tell this Albert kid's no good dickweed of a dumbass shithead Dad all about the error of his ways, right before he killed his fuckin' ass.

That wasn't all he was thinkin' of either. First, right after the story, when D.J. drifted off into sleepy land, Daddy would make sure Sweet Baby had no doubt in her mind there was no man in this world, or any other world, who could ever love on her the way her Big Man could.

So yeah. Sounds good ta me. I like proof.

Oh yeah, so anyway, Little Man he made it to almost three quarters of the way through the story before crashing out. As soon as they heard those soft snores that's when Sweet Baby and Big Man, real quiet like, tiptoed outta the room, flipped the light off an softly shut Little Man's door.

Heavy passion ensued. Shit kids, they never even made it down the hallway to the bathroom. They were all hands, fingers, lips, all of it was all over each other and their gotdamn clothes was a flyin' off in every direction. And when their clothes had all been removed, that's when the naked caveman, aka Big Man, picked up his Sweet Baby. He threw her up over his shoulder, gave her a real, real friendly smack on her tight little lower cheek and promised most sincerely, "I'ma make ya scream tonight Sweet Baby."

Sounds good to me.

But yeah, so anyway.

He got her in that bathroom faster than you can say, "soap me up." He had water runinn' and he had hands and lips a roamin and they got in that sumbitch and they made damn and fuckin' sure that every single inch of each other was sparklin' clean – twice – just ta be certain. By that time they were both hotter than the devil's armpit, it was a damn miracle the water on their skin wasn't sizzlin'. Anyway, in his excited anticipation Big Man yanked the towel off the towel bar so hard the bar flew offa the wall right along with the towel. No big deal, he told her, "Don't worry Sweet Baby, I'll fix that." Truth be told, she wasn't one bit worried on accounta he was dryin' off Paradise when he said it. Who gives a flyin' fuck about the flyin' fuckin' towel bar? No one. That's who.

He was in that mode I mentioned earlier, his caveman mode, and also his provin' an important point mode. That important point being, no one could do her like he could do her; on accounta he loves his Sweet Baby more than he loves havin' air ta breath, beer ta drink and motorcycles ta ride. That's a lot.

So he grabbed her in a real friendly caveman-like manner, tossed her up over his shoulder again and said, "Lemme check on just how fuckin' tasty ya are Sweet Baby."

Sounds quite delightful, don't it?

He was gentle when he laid her down there on the bed though, he always is cuz ya know, Big Man he takes care a his Sweet Baby. He don't ever wanna hurt her. But damn, he was so fuckin' excited about the adventures ta come that he bounced his own self down so hard onto that sumbitchin' bed, I'll be damned, one a the legs broke right offa that wood frame – BOOM! It was the one holdin' up the right top end. I bet it was probably just weakened from all the gotdamn bouncin' around that fuckin' bed endures.

So anyway, real fast like, the whole gotdamn bed well it did a nosedive, dippin' to the right. Sweet Baby started to roll that way but Big Man thought faster and he had his arms around her waist and they slid off together. Lemme tell ya, Big Man was like a fuckin' prima ballerina. That's right, he managed ta spin himself completely around so that when they hit the deck she landed on top of him. Sweet Baby was safe n sound. phew

It was all good. Well except for the lamp there on the bed table. It wasn't on the bed table anymore. Big Man somehow managed ta flip his arm up and around that way, ya know, as he went ta wrap it around Sweet Baby, and BOOM! The lamp hit the deck just the same as our lovebirds did. Speakin' of our lovebirds, now that they were on the floor Big Man quickly promised, "I'll fix the bed and get ya a new lamp, I promise Sweet Baby." Then his mouth was on her tittie and his fingers went ta ticklin' her fancy and truth was, Sweet Baby didn't give two shits if he broke everythin' in that whole entire gotdamn house. She was anticipatin' a real fine night with her Big Man. Furnishings were not required.

Ya know how these days everyone has this thing about gettin' rid of all their carpet and gettin' some kinda hard floors? Wood or tiles or even marble or painted concrete, shit like that? Yeah well, one night after havin' a particularly enjoyable time of fallin' off the bed and rollin' around on the floor, Big Man n Sweet Baby had themselves an adult beverage there in the livin' room. Sweet Baby mentioned gettin' the bedroom carpet ripped out and gettin' some new floorin', hardwood floorin'. That's when Big Man gently reminded her of the excellent possibility they could die from the falls they was in a habit a takin'. Sweet Baby saw his point. One week later she had that carpet pulled outta their room and she had worker bees over there puttin' in the thickest carpet pad money can buy. On top of that they laid down the softest, the plushiest carpet in the land. Even though it cost three arms and four legs Big Man did not object one tiny bit. I mean sure, they gotta get it cleaned like every other week but who gives a shit, that fuckin' carpet is a lifesaver.

But I digress.

So anyway, Big Man he is enjoyin' the hell outta Sweet Baby's sweet little titties. He is giving them his utmost love and affection. He's suckin', he's nibblin' and he's lickin', and not just those precious titties a hers. Big Man is nondiscriminatory, he shows equal love, affection and adoration ta every single inch of Sweet Baby's sweet body.

On accounta he loves her and whatnot.

Now Sweet Baby it so happens, feels the very same way about the Big Man's big muscular and yet lean body. That's right, she's doin' quite a bit a lickin', nibblin' and suckin' on that heavenly hunk of manhood. On accounta, Sweet Baby she loves her Big Man.

Now you gotta know, Sweet Baby has been convinced of it since that very first night they did the horizontal bop, Big Man is the finest piece of ass in this universe, but the Big Man still feels the need to prove to her she can't find better lovin' anywhere. So he goes about provin' hisself once again. He commences ta lickin', and nibblin' and suckin' his way down south and when he gets ta that delightful little mound he pauses long enough ta look up into her eyes, and with the deepest affection in his voice he tells her, "I'ma conduct a taste test of your sweet little pussy Sweet Baby."

She made no objection. (Seriously kids, who the fuck would?)

So now Big Man is gettin' all serious about this tastin' business. He is doin' a most thorough and fastidious job of it with his lips and his tongue, his nose even gets in on the action, just for some extra sensory delight, and maybe, maybe just a little tiny bit a his teeth. Not bitin' just lightly rubbin' n teasin' along Sweet Baby's southerly located lips.

Is it any wonder she is completely charmed by this man?

Her little hips start to rise and she is moanin' his name, which he happens to enjoy quite a lot, and then those hips are risin' faster and she's a squirmin'. He knows what Baby needs. He slips those fingers inta Paradise and his lips are sucking on that little Sweet Spot, you know the one, the little bump, the gateway to nirvana. Damn if Sweet Baby doesn't yell out, "Oh my gawd Big Man, yes, yes, oh my gawd." And when she comes hard he makes sure he tastes every bit of Sweet Baby's sweet nectar, whilst she is tryin' to make her recovery. When he is certain he has done a particularly fine cleanin' job he smiles at his woman and tells her, "Yep, real, real tasty. The tastiest Sweet Baby, never nuthin' finer." On accountta he's one sweet talkin' sumbitch the Big Man is.

I like that in a man.

Now this here thing they got between em? It ain't a one-sided love, not at all. Sweet Baby has sumthin' she wants ta prove to Big Man too. What that might be is, that there's only one man she ever wants ta have taste testin' Paradise, or puttin' his parts inside a her parts. That man bein', naturally, The Big Man hisself.

So she turns the tables on her lovin' husband. That's correct. She starts at his nose, which coincidentally smells a lot like parts a her, same as his lips, even his chin. Huh, imagine that. Well anyway, she just keeps on a kissin' and a lickin', and a nibblin' and a suckin' and workin' her way down to the Bad Boy she loves so much. She gets down there as far as the belly button region and she stops and she teases it with her tongue a little while and her hand has ahold a that Bad Boy she loves. She's strokin' it and it's gettin' harder still and Sweet Baby is gettin' all kinds a hot.

That's when Big Man raises up his head and then his big strong hands reach up under her slim little arms, with no effort at all he pulls her to him so that they are blue eyes to blue eyes, and he smiles and he tells her, "Ya ain't gotta Sweet Baby, we can get right to it cuz I'm wantin' ya right now. I wanna feel what I tasted." (Sweet talk)

Now Little Miss Sweet Baby decides ta get all feisty and playful-like. She challenges her lovin' husband in a sassy little voice, "Oh yeah Big Man? Well for your information I am a strong and independent woman and I do what I want, and just maybe I want to taste you." And she quickly rolls right offa him and starts to scurry around on that ultra-plush carpet, on her hands and knees, gigglin' and eggin' him on, "You can't catch me."

Now if you don't know Big Man by now you never will. He enjoys a frisky challenge from Sweet Baby. By golly if he doesn't get hisself up on his hands n knees and commence ta chasin' her around. Oh sure, you gotta know he let's her win for a while, on account he is enjoyin' the hell outta watchin' Sweet Baby's sweet little ass scamper around the room, but there comes a time Big Man can hold out no longer. He needs Baby and he's sure he needs ta show her who the winner is.

There they be, the both of them on their hands n knees and he catches right up ta her, overpowers her, and he grabs a hold a her hips like they are a lifeline, and damn if he don't slip the Bad Boy right into Paradise. She squeals with delight and she even giggles, at first. But damn, Big Man means business and he is indeed showin' her just how strong and how deep his love for her goes. He's reaching his hands around and playin' with her sweet little titties whilst Bad Boy is rubbing right against the Sweet Spot, the one we talked about earlier, and I'll be damned if what he promised doesn't come ta pass. That's right, Sweet Baby has herself a screamin' orgasm right there on all fours.

Doncha know it makes the Big Man so fuckin' happy and proud when he causes that ta happen for his woman. He rolls them over and he rubs a hand there along Paradise and he says, "Your turn ta ride Sweet Baby."

This time she don't argue, she has no damn reason to, ridin' Bad Boy is her favorite sport. She's sittin' astride the Big Man and they're smilin' at each other and he's playin' with those titties, maybe pinchin' just a little. And then he slips his fingers there between the two of 'em, right there so they're touchin' on that Sweet Spot again and she is rockin' on him and he is raisin' his hips up ta meet hers, and she is gettin' all sorts of hot, wet and happy, and he asks her, "Who Baby? Who's your man?"

She's right on the edge a that third go and then she's comin' hard again when she cries out, "The only man, you Big Man, only you." Sweet Baby's the sweetest kids, she knows what the Big Man needs ta hear that night.

And again he rolls them over and he's lookin' down at his Sweet Baby lying there under him and still pantin' hard. He don't hold back, he can't, he's goin' hard and deep into paradise, and he's puttin' some powerful hip action in that play, and he starts ta let go and he calls out while he's comin', "Gotdamn Sweet Baby, so fuckin' tight n tasty." (Sweet Talk)

(Did anyone besides me notice the Big Man forgot to slip a raincoat on the Bad Boy?)

There they lay on the ultra-plush carpet feelin' all ultra-in love and ultra-spent, still though, Big Man is rubbing real soft and sweet there on Paradise and kissin' and nibblin' Sweet Baby's sweet little nipple and he tells her, "I love ya Sweet Baby. I always will."

And she tells him, "I love you Big Man. No man could ever make me feel like you make me feel."

Then he asks, "Does D.J. go ta school tomorrow?"

"No, it's just Tuesdays and Thursdays. Remember we agreed, we'd start slow?"

"Yeah, okay. Well I'll be takin' him ta school on Thursday."

She wasn't gonna argue, not right then.

00

**Wednesday (aka Happy Hour)**

The stinky little joint was packed and Barkeep was lookin' all manner of professional as he rubbed a half-dirty, half-dry rag over the bar top. I's sittin' there where I always am on a Wednesday, on my stool. My stool has the best view of the Dixon Brother's stools, that's why it's mine. Anyhow, I was lovingly holdin' the brown bottle, gettin' ready ta take a long pull, when in walked Young Dixon.

It was like you could feel the tension and the anger rollin' off that man. You'd have to be a complete idiot not ta see by lookin' at him, Big Man was pissed. If ya didn't see it before you'da known it when barkeep set that frosty brown bottle in front a the man and the man said, "And a double shot a jack, neat."

He had that double shot to his lips when Older Dixon come strokin' in and spotted his little brother in an obviously agitated state. Normally that would fill Big Brother with glee, but even he could tell this was a matter of the most serious kind. He walked over to his stool there at the bar, a mighty fine walk to observe I might add, and for once he just kinda lightly clapped his brother on the back and quietly asked (quiet for Merle Dixon), "Everythin' okay Little Brother?"

There was a general uneasiness among the patrons, the lowlifes, the miscreants, the malcontents, the barflies, the dirtbags, the scumbags, the shitheads, the shitbags and the nasty-assed shitwads. Them lowlifes were like a buncha synchronized drunks as slowly, and in unison, they dared to lift their brown bottles and quietly take a long hard pull of the frosty cold beverage; and not a shithead among em took their eyes off the Brothers Dixon.

"Fuck you Merle, does it look like everythin's okay ya dumbass?"

Oh yeah, this shit here? This shit was bad. (Just how we like our shit)

"Hey now little brother, ya better check yourself. I'm tryin' ta be your lovin' brother but don't piss me off or I'll knock your ass right inta next week." And a course, what was the rest of us ta do but take another calmin' swallow from our brown bottles.

The brothers were chest to chest and givin' each other that steel-eyed Dixon stare. I am here ta tell you my lovely children, you couldn't drive a gotdamn tank through the thick layer a tension at The Mad Dawg that Wednesday. A course there was also a lotta excitement oozing from the menagerie of lowlife's, miscreants, n'er do wells and common assholes. So much excitement in fact, Barkeep was runnin' around like a little headless chicken bringin' all of us a fresh and frosty one!

We was all waitin' with our brown bottles poised to our lips, just waitin' ta see which a the brothers would throw the first punch. Ya know, there ain't nuthin' finer in this world than watchin' them brothers brawlin'! I tell ya what kids, that's a sight that'll make ya break out in a sweat. Whoop!

So you can imagine our disappointment when Young Dixon turns back to the bar and says ta barkeep, "Double me up." Then he turns to his brother and says, "I can't be kickin' your ass tonight brother, I gotta send someone ta the hospital first thing tomorrow." On that he threw back the double shot then immediately drained the brown bottle.

We, the dumbass, no-good, malcontent, scumbag, douchebag and useless drunks were all watchin' and waitin' for what could possibly happen next.

Barkeep was already settin' Young Dixon back up, on accountta Barkeep is a professional and he knows when a man is there ta get his serious drink on. Meantime, Older Dixon actually wrapped an arm across his brother's shoulder and asked, "Fuck little brother, what the hell is goin' on?" Cuz I mean, ya gotta know kids, it was obvious the situation was grave.

Antenna went up, ears perked and twitched, and we all quickly took another swallow of the bubbly brew as we waited to hear the sordid details. Young Dixon did not disappoint as he told his brother what Little Ol' D.J. Dixon had overheard at school.

Now Big Brother, always one ta bring calm and reason ta every situation nods and says, "You're right Little Brother, ya gotta kill the mutherfucker." If only they were sellin' tickets ta the event, they coulda sold plenty right there in the Mad Dawg. I mean they coulda if the fight was gonna be held there at the bar. No way those lazy-assed, nose pickin', butt scratchin', lowlife dickwads was gettin' up early to attend a fight at a preschool! Pfft. Get serious kids.

Young Dixon continued ta down those double shots with the beer backs until such time as he was havin' quite a bit a trouble tryin' ta stand. That's when his Big Brother, who had quit drinkin' after his second frosty beverage and called his own lovely bride Cindy, and a course Sweet Baby, and explained ta the both a them the situation, piled his brother in his pickup, drove his ass home ta his Sweet Baby, and deposited him on the livin' room couch.

Merle and Sweet Baby had a quick confab there in the livin' room and Merle hightailed it on home.

00

Come way early mornin', or middle a the night however ya wanna look at it, Big Man and Sweet Baby was havin' a nice warm, relaxin' and hotter than fuck shower together, on accounta she insisted he have one before they did what they like doin', on accounta she told him he smelled like the Mad Dawg. Even he knew there was nuthin' sexy about that particular fragrance.

He was payin' very close attention ta carefully washin' her personal parts and apologizin' for bein' an asshole, gettin' shitfaced and not comin' right home ta her. But now, ya know, Sweet Baby she knows her big rough tough man is really a cream puff who cannot take the thought a anyone but hisself lustin' after her. She wasn't really mad, she was relieved his brother had been there ta watch over the big lovable dumbass.

So anyway, she didn't make him beg for forgiveness for too long, on accounta he was washin' her nethers and she got distracted.

After their exercise routine, and while he rested up for another half hour or so, Sweet Baby, kids she loves her Big Man, and she prepared his favorite breakfast, biscuits, eggs, sausage gravy _and_ sausage links with a side a grits. Damn. Him and Little Ol' D.J. came walkin' into the kitchen all dressed for work and school and there it was. There was even a great big bottle a Gatorade for the Big Man, so he could get his electrolytes back in order after all that jack. They all sat down and enjoyed that lovely meal, except Sweet Baby enjoyed a small scoop a plain yogurt with blueberries.

She tried to head him off at the pass, "Why don't you let me go ahead and drive D.J. to school this morning? I'll have a talk with Albert's Daddy and set him on a straighter path. You don't need to worry about any of it."

"Nah, this is mine Sweet Baby and I'll handle it. I'll take the boy ta school. Whaddya think D.J., ya wanna ride ta school on the bike?"

Shit, a course the little fella did. pfft

Daddy got D.J.s motorcycle child seat on the big bike and he put on Little Man's helmet and his leather jacket and his matchin' gloves and reminded him. "It ain't a toy. Ya don't move them feet from them footrests, k?"

"Yes Daddy."

Sweet Baby kissed her boys goodbye, gave em a wave and they were gone. She ran in the house, grabbed her purse, jumped in her rig and she was off ta the school. She was gonna do everythin' she could ta intervene and keep her Big Man from gettin' hisself thrown in jail.

Merle he was already there at the school waitin'. He was there for two reasons. If the guy was a big ol mean sumbitch, he'd step in if he had to. If he wasn't, if it was a fair fight, well he wouldn't let Daryl quite kill the dickface. He didn't want little brother buckin' a murder charge. Ya know kids, Merle looks out for the boy n all.

Daryl pulled up ta the school on that big fuckin' blacked out bike. Did I mention he was wearin' his leather pants? His leather jacket? His big ass biker boots? He was lookin' intimidatin' as hell and hotter than a three peckered billy goat. Ya gotta know that was a sight ta behold there at the preschool.

He pulled the chin strap on the helmet loose, took it from his head and shook that impressive mane. Then he lifted little D.J. outta the child seat, took his helmet and his leathers off and said, "Lookin' good son. Which one a these here Daddy's is Albert's Daddy?"

D.J. is not a stupid child, and he is after all a Dixon, he knew sumthin' was up. So he pointed to the Daddy in question and answered, "That sumbitch right there Daddy."

"Good boy, but ya shouldn't say them kinda words, and don't ya never talk like that infronta your Mama son."

"Yessir Daddy." He is the best little boy in the world, ain't he kids?

Here's the situation though boys n girls. As it turns out Albert's Daddy is a bespectacled little pipsqueak. I mean he's the kinda guy if ya was ta kick his ass you'd feel like the biggest douchebag in town. I mean, ya know, it wouldn't be one bit satisfyin' cuz shit, D.J. could probably whoop him."

But still boys and girls, ya can't let the guy off the hook just cuz he's a nebbish. Right?

So Big Man does that walk, ya know that long stride with the pigeon toes and just enough swagger ta make ya…well nevermind, you know.

Anyway, he gets right up there ta the pipsqueak and Big Man's impressive leather clad chest is pressed right up ta the nebbish's starched Van Heusen middle-management-desk-jockey-shirt. The contrast was startling I tell ya, the pipsqueak is about ta squeak when Big Man asks, "You Albert's Dad?"

The fella just nods.

Big Man asks, in that voice that's like whiskey coated gravel, "Ya got a name?"

Perspiration is poppin' out all over the small man and he just barely gets the words out, "Milton Mamet."

"Yeah? Well my name's Daryl Dixon, and at my dinner table night before last I heard from my 4 year old boy that ya think my wife has a goddamn rockin' hot body. Is that right?"

Milton Mamet was in a panic, he could not speak and he could not deny, he simply nodded.

"Uh huh, I also hear from my son ya think his Mama looks like a real tasty treat. Is that so?"

Mamet swallowed so hard it was like he might swallow his own Adam's apple. This time he did manage ta choke out, "I'm sorry man, please don't hurt me."

"Ya don't want me ta hurt ya, huh? Well I got a news flash for ya, ya hurt me. I love my wife and I don't appreciate anyone disrespectin' that woman. When someone does, well Milton, it hurts me. What hurts worse is when my child hears his Mama talked about in such a way. That ain't good is it?"

Daryl still had his chest pressed right up ta the man and his face was just inches from the other man's face, and Milton Mamet said, "No sir, no. That's not right, I know it was wrong. Please accept my sincerest apology and I guarantee it won't ever happen again."

"Well Milton, I appreciate ya tryin' ta make this right so I'ma let ya show me and her both just how sorry ya are, how's that?"

"Yes okay, anything you want."

Daryl smiled and said, "Ya know my sweet wife, she don't think I'm aware, but she was worried about me. She thought I's comin' down here ta kill ya, and she was right. So now, if ya look over there ta the south corner you're gonna see my wife there in her Grand Cherokee. I'ma get my brother, who also thought I's gonna commit murder today, ta come over here and stand with our boys while you n me go talk ta my sweet wife. How's that?"

"Yes, yes of course." Daryl looked to the north corner where his brother was sittin' in his pickup truck, he stuck a thumb and a forefinger between his lips and whistled loudly. Merle came trottin' right over and Milton and the Big Man headed toward the Cherokee.

The small man made his apology ta Sweet Baby, then Daryl gave her a big hot, wet, deep tonsil ticklin' kiss, just ta prove a point. Then they walked back over ta where the boys were. "Now apologize ta my boy."

Milton did.

That wasn't all though.

As soon as the bell rang and all the little people were safely tucked away in their school there, Big Man asked Milton, "Ya know where the community food bank is, over on 15th street?"

"Yes, I've driven by there."

"Driven by huh? Well we're goin' over there now and this time you're gonna stop there. You and me, we ain't drivin' by, we're goin' in. You're gonna give the guy at the desk there a thousand bucks, cash, check, credit card, however ya wanna do it. I'ma give em the same. Ya see, my Sweet Baby has a real tender heart and that's her favorite charity. With Christmas comin' and all you're gonna feel real good about yourself for givin' ta the needy, aren't ya?"

"Yes, yessir I am."

"And you're always gonna remember that if ya ever talk about my Sweet Baby in such a way again, I will hang your ass from the flagpole at Small Angel's Preschool, right?"

"Yessir, you have my word, I never will again."

So that's what I come ta tell ya today kids. Boys and girls, ladies and gents, and everyone in between. You can't make this shit up.

And if ya can, give.

00

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading the longest chapter ever written of this crazy fic. I hope you'll leave a comment. Tomorrow Boys & Girls? Yep, it's Wednesday and me and the boys will be back. I hope you are too. In the meantime remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing this crazy story for a very long time. My one shot that is now 33 chapters. I appreciate the love so many people have given this crazy, silly fic - that I also happen to think is pretty darn loving. I hope you enjoy this chapter and join me in giving a big "Thank You" to jsmith69 for the terrific prompt re: snowstorms, stocking supplies and fisticuffs. What a great idea and I hope I did it justice.

00

Hey kids!

Yeah, I know, I know, don't be yellin' at me. Sheesh. I got here as fast as I could. Okay, okay I admit it, I been drinkin' without ya. Sometimes I just can't help myself, mosta the time really. Okay so it's been a year, but sheesh, I was thirsty and whatnot.

Lately I have had to dramatically increase my alcohol consumption just ta survive. Had to increase it a lot. A whole lot. I didn't even think it was possible to drink so much. Since I seen ya last I am now what ya might call a World Class Drinker. That's right, I'm like the Olympic Gold Medalist of Drinkin'!

Yay me!

Besides, it ain't like ya don't know where ta find me. You coulda come round ya know. Ya coulda bought me a beer, maybe a shot a sumthin', maybe even a pickled egg. Where was you?

All ya had to do was head on over to the Mad Dawg Tavern. It's there in the industrial area, down the alley there, ya know, next to the big plumbin' supply house. Hell you'll smell the place before ya see it. Man oh man what a stench.

It's like some crazy person took the aroma of stale beer, the scent of every manner of disgustin' manly odor, the bouquet of poor hygiene on the part of both boys and girls, a whiff of garbage dump, the essence of pigsty, and mixed it all up with the odious odor of putrid zombie guts. Ta-da! Now that right there? That replicates the undeniably repulsive fragrance that wafts from the Mad Dawg Tavern.

It don't have any adverse affect on serious drinkers though.

I do love the damn place. Well that, plus it's the only place in town besides Hard Times where they'll still serve me. It could be that I mighta got a little outta hand a time or two, you know how the drinkin' causes my spirited personality to shift into high gear.

I won't cause no trouble tonight though. I'll be on my best behavior. Why ya ask? Ya kiddin' me? Why? Dammit kids, ain't I taught ya nuthin'? It's Wednesday night!

That is exactly correct. Tonight is the night Young Dixon and Older Dixon are due to arrive at any moment. That's why I am so carefully perched upon my favorite barstool, my hair's combed and everything. My eyes are trained on that spot, you know the one, the spot where them Brothers always belly up. Nice, firmly muscled bellies.

Damn but I do love gazing upon the wonderfulness that is those two delicious rednecks. Holy cow.

Serious? You think just cuz the biggest, baddest most evil snowstorm in the history of big bad snowstorms is comin' it's gonna keep me from my duty? I may be a drunk but I don't shirk responsibility! No matter what happens, hell or high water, plagues, zombies, locusts, or blizzards I will be at the Mad Dawg.

C'mon now boys n girls. You better get your arses here too, and make it snappy! It ain't like some candy ass snowstorm is gonna keep them away, the Brothers will be arriving for their weekly tete de tete any minute.

So pull up a stool and join me as we partake of a frosty beverage set before us by the always vigilant barkeep. For a man who appears ta be moving as slow as molasses in a blizzard, he never allows a person to go thirsty. It's them professional skills he's got, he knows you're dry before you do.

As long as y'all got the funds to pay for a frosty brown bottle of goodness he will continue to set you up. But you know as well as me, should your woman call tryin' ta hunt ya down? He will not lie for ya. He will tell her the truth. He's honest like that, "Why yes Ma'am that no-good drunken sumbitch you had the misfortune ta marry is sittin' here at the bar right now guzzlin' down a frosty one." It ain't his job ta cover your ass.

In fact, when you run outta money he's liable ta call her right up and tell her to come get that drunken ass.

For now though…wait! Oh shit kids, here he is! It's Young Dixon. Oh my gawd almighty that pigeon toed swagger gets me goin' every damn time. Ain't it just the way of that man to come strolling in here and right over ta his spot all casual and whatnot? It's like he has no idea how steamin' hot he is.

Barkeep, he pops the cap on a tall cold one – don't ya love that sound – damn, I sure do – and he sets it down on the bar just seconds before Young Dixon takes his spot.

That beautiful man – not barkeep – Dixon – although barkeep ain't exactly a throwaway his ownself – anyway, he nods that beautiful head a hair toward barkeep in a manner of sayin' thanks, lifts the bottle to them luscious lips, and shit, I'm salivatin' just watchin' him as he takes a long pull of the sweet golden nectar.

And what do we have here kids? What is this special treat?! Holy mother of all kinds of holy stuff! Lookie there, it's the dead of winter and the snowstorm ta beat all snowstorms is on its way, and Young Dixon has his bare arms hangin' out there just beggin' me ta run over and touch one of em. Shit, can you just imagine if I was ta do that? Why if Sweet Baby ever got wind of it she'd knock my ass into next week, shit, next year!

But there ain't no law against lookin' boys and girls.

It's dangerous though, I might fall off my barstool just watchin' that man.

Oh man! Ladies and Gents, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages - here comes Big Brother!

For as long as the Brothers care to stay I will be perched upon my rickety old bar stool in my special spot. Never forget kids, it's my spot. It affords me the opportunity to gaze in breathless delight at two of the finest sets of shoulders, no wait, wait, make that the absolute two finest sets of shoulders and arms God has ever created.

They are beyond magnificent, they're downright thrillin'. They might even inspire dirty thoughts.

A course, I'm talkin' bout Dixon Brother shoulders and arms. *sigh*

* * *

Older Dixon slaps Younger Dixon on the back like he's aiming ta knock him over the bar – Merle is definitely not presenting his softer side – and as he hits him he hollers, "Hey there Baby Brother, I see ya somehow managed ta escape the clutches of little ballbuster." He's cacklin' like a maniac when he adds, "Did she give ya your balls back for the night?"

I know ya know, I do love when the brothers start giving each other shit, and ya know I can hardly control myself when they start ta wrestlin', so I can't lie. I'm a might disappointed when Young Dixon don't immediately throw a roundhouse punch in Merle's general direction.

What he does though might be worse than a punch. He looks at Big Brother with blood in his eye, and in a deceivingly calm voice he says, "Fuck you Merle. Where the hell is Big Ballbuster tonight, down at Hard Times lookin' for a real man?"

If I had pearls I woulda been clutchin' em. Did Daryl Dixon not only just insult his Big Brother, while at the same time insinuatin' that his brother's wife has gone astray? Shit, has she? Nah, nah, can't be. But if it was true? I would be more than happy to volunteer to help Merle pick up the pieces, comfort him as best as I am able. And I'm real able. Even more willin' than able.

Anyway, that wasn't nice at all now, was it? And I, along with every other low life piece of shit loser, no goodnik, horse's ass, miscreant, common asshole and felonious asshole in the joint, pause. We got our brown bottles poised. We're waiting in breathless anticipation, quietly twitchin' with a heady mix of fear and excitement over what's ta come. Why even barkeep is wonderin' if he should just go on ahead and start the National Anthem right now.

Meantime the Brothers are just standin' there straight, tall and rock solid, perfectly muscled specimens with them steel blue eyes hard as granite starin' at each other. They don't move, they don't blink. Them are serious stares and colder than a snowman's left nut.

Just when my heart is about ta give out, it appears Older Dixon can't take it anymore either. He lets out one of his patented shake the walls and rattle the windows cackles, whilst spittin' out that half a bottle of beer he swigged just before Younger Dixon said what he said.

It's a gotdamn super soaker spit take.

Beer has sprayed everywhere, but barkeep don't say nuthin' on accounta like I told ya a catrillion times, he's a professional. He's seen this shit before. He just grabs that dirty ol bar rag and commences ta wiping that beer up.

It will enhance the odor of the joint.

The brother's look at him, nod their heads and he don't hafta be told twice. He sets em each up with another frosty one.

It's at this point, as I am carefully watching the way every little muscle in Young Dixon's arm moves as he lifts the bottle to his precious lips, takes a swallow…then I get a little distracted.

Because right then who blows in the door? Why it's little ol Axel his ownself. Ya know him, he's Doc Carol's hubby. When I say he blew in I ain't even kiddin'. It's gettin' real windy out kids, and not only that, Axel's got snowflakes in his blonde hair. He sits on the stool next ta Younger Dixon and barkeep has a beer in front of him in no time flat.

Before he takes a pull on the bottle he says ta barkeep, "I'ma need a warmer to go." Maybe he ain't s'posed to, it's not for me to say, but barkeep puts a bottle of whiskey in a paper sack and hands it over, just as Axel slips some cold cash across the bar.

Then Axel says, "Ya'll better flip on the news, damn it's gettin' crazy out there."

Barkeep turns around and flips on the big flat screen TV now hangin' behind the bar. What?! A new TV you ask? What on God's green earth happened ta the dang black n white box that's been on the backbar for the past trillion years?!

I'll tell ya on accounta it's a pretty good story. Ya see Tyrese, y'all remember Tyrese. He is a ginormous man of muscular build and sweet disposition. You remember his wife, you seen them two plenty a times over there at Hard Times. Except for, well a person hardly gets ta see em or talk to em on account they are constantly swappin' spit and pettin' on each other. It's kinda disgustin'.

I guess that's love for ya. It's disgustin'.

So anyway, ya know Tyrese he never comes in the Mad Dawg but once in a blue moon. But about three months ago, on this one Wednesday night, he come in all manner of distraught. He commenced ta cryin' the blues ta the Brothers on accounta it seems his little wife Prudence? Well her Mama had come for a visit and she was drivin' Tyrese insane in more ways than one.

The biggest part a the trouble seemed ta be, he wasn't gettin' no lovin' at all. From what I could hear, and let's be honest, I hear it all, her Mama would not leave him and Prudence alone long enough ta practice makin' them grandbabies she claimed she wanted them ta have. I mean c'mon Mama, ya gotta let the man get busy if ya want babies. Shit. Everyone knows that. A third grader knows that.

So as he's drinkin' Comfort for comfort, and cryin' on Younger Dixon and Older Dixon's shoulders, he don't see his wife come walkin' in. The extra teeny tiny Prudence all small and pretty. How the hell do the too a them do it? Well no, it ain't my business, but that doesn't mean I don't want a demonstration.

Anyway, she comes walkin' in as Tyrese is sayin', "I just wanna get with my woman and make some sweet love. Is it so wrong for me ta wish her Mama would get her ass on home?"

See and Prudence? She didn't like that at all. Not on accounta he wanted ta make sweet love, shit she did too. And not because he wished Mama would beat it, shit she did too. It was the idea that her oversized husband was discussin' such things with Merle Dixon, and Merle Dixon had just laughed and said, "Tell Mama if she don't back off you'll be slippin' it to her girl right there in front of her."

Prudence was madder than a damn murder hornet when she came stormin' over and pushed Tyrese just as hard as she could while she yelled, in that tiny little voice a hers, "What are you doin' in her discussing our sex life with the likes of the Dixon Brothers?"

The Dixon Brothers were not in the least bit offended that Prudence did not want her husband discussing the couple's sex life with them. They damn sure weren't gonna discuss theirs with Tyrese.

Anyway, now I'm sure you're smart enough ya gotta know, when she pushed on Tyrese that way he barely felt it, it was no more than if a gnat landed on him. However, he was smart enough to back up just a little, like she caused that.

She kept pushin' and he kept backing away like he was scared, while he was all tellin' her how much he loved her and that he was sorry, he'd lost his mind and gone plumb crazy from desiring her sweet lovin'. Some shit like that. That got the pretty little pipsqueak going. She was using both hands ta push him on his chest and saying such things to him as you would never believe that sweet little thing would say. Naughty shit.

I gotta tell ya, the way he was acting all scared and backing up and whatnot, I thought he was being just plain over dramatical. It was clear ta see, he was likin' how pissed off she was, she was likin' it too. He's practically behind the bar now and she gives him one final push. He falls back like he's been shot, bangs into the TV and knocks it on the floor.

Crash! Boom! The TV is dead and gone.

Tyrese is apologizin' all over hisself and barkeep, he don't raise his voice or nuthin', he just looks a little forlorn when he says, "Had that damn thing since 1966." Shakes his head and tells the giant man, "I think you two better take it on home now."

They kept apologizin' on their way out the door but ya know, the damage was done. What I can tell ya is, a while later when the Brothers left, and I of course followed em out, well we all got a good laugh cuz there was Tyrese's big F-250, the windows was all steamed up and that rig was rockin' and rollin'.

Love had found a way in the alley behind the Mad Dawg Tavern.

Ain't love grand kids?

The next day Tyrese brought in a brand new fancy TV, but it just ain't the same. Oh, and last week Tyrese made a big announcement, that's right. Prudence is three months pregnant. Them Fords, ya gotta be careful what ya get up to in them things.

Shit, and again it was proven, anything can happen at the Mad Dawg kids.

But I digress.

So, the TV comes on all big and bright and in living color, and a course they're talking bout the big snowstorm ta end all snowstorms on the news. This bein' the south n all, they're doin' a story about how the stores are jampacked and have run outta stuff. Everyone's socking in the bread and milk like it's the end of the world and they ain't ever gonna be able ta buy food again. And like they sit around drinkin' milk and eatin' bread. pft

The camera pans around the big ol WalMart Supercenter and there ain't a roll of toilet paper ta be found. Apparently folks plan on using the toilet a lot durin' the snowpocalyse. Then the reporter guy says all serious and whatnot, "And ladies and gentleman, in some instances this grocery hoarding has become vicious, competitive and even dangerous."

Then he starts ta show the filmed footage of what happened earlier that day, things got a little out of hand over on aisle seven.

At first Daryl is paying zero attention, he's busy taking a long pull from the brown bottle. Then Merle elbows him hard in the side and says, "Shit Brother, ain't that little ballbuster?"

Daryl's eyes look toward the TV and he sees his Sweet Baby, and Sweet Baby is in a death match with another woman, a bigger gal, twice as big. They're fightin' over sumthin, both of em are pullin' hard on whatever it is, pausing only long enough ta slap, slug, push and pull hair.

The skinny little grocery store fella is tellin' them ta stop, but shit, you can see the boy is scared. He don't want those women kickin' his ass next.

Cindy happens ta come strollin' around the corner and sees what's happening. She runs toward the altercation pushing her own cart full of snowpocalpyse snacks right along with her, but damn, she's five seconds too late. The big broad has just thrown a haymaker and connected with Sweet Baby's cheek. Cindy is now in full-on big sister kick ass mode.

I find myself emptyin' the entire contents of my brown bottle in one pull.

Cindy grabs that woman by the hair of her head, yanks her all the way down ta the floor, sits on her, slaps the shit outta her, grabs the can she was fightin' Sweet Baby over from her hand, whilst of course yellin' such obscenities as to be censored from the film. BEEP. Shit. I wanna know what she said! It ain't like we all haven't heard all them bad words. The kids have too.

Anyway, she and Sweet Baby run up front, pay for their stuff and they're gone. Daryl and Merle say loudly and in perfect unison, "Fuck," each of them slaps a twenty on the bar and they're gone.

Me and the rest of the lowlife, miscreant, no good dumbass, malcontent felonious fuckups and stinky drunks get us another beer.

00

He's in his pickup hurryin' home, makin' it in record time despite the shitty weather and road conditions, and that's when he decides. He ain't gonna push her, he'll let her just tell her story when she's ready. Sweet Baby she's tougher n stronger than she knows, but what he knows is she's also real, real tender and delicate in her way.

He kicks the snow off his boots, grabs hold of the doorknob and takes a deep breath before walkin' in, havin' no idea what he might find.

The first thing he notices is there's no D.J. Shit. He moves quickly toward the kitchen and instantly breathes a sigh of relief. There she is, his Sweet Baby. Thank God she seems fine.

She's standin' there at the stove stirrin' up a big pot of something delicious for his dinner. How can he help but smile as he walks over and stands so close behind her?

She's wearing them tight yoga pants, he loves them damn things on her. Shit, he loves watching her do yoga. She's also wearin' the world's tiniest sweatshirt, you seen the kind. It hits just below her titties, her whole midriff is bare.

He's damn glad she wasn't wearin' that thing when she was brawling over at the WalMart Supercenter. Everyone in town woulda seen those sweet little titties of hers.

He slips an arm around her waist while he nuzzles his face into the dip between her shoulder and neck. He knows it gets to her when he kisses her there so that's what he does. In the meantime his open palm is slowing rubbing along the inside of her thin but muscular leg, on its way ta paradise, that place there in the middle, her sweet center.

He's gentle with her, real tender n all, as his hand slips up under that little sweatshirt and he fondles her tittie real sweet and adoring like. He knows she's had a bad day and he wants her ta know how much he loves her, and he softly tells her, "Hey Sweet Baby, I sure did miss ya today."

And that does it, the flood gates open, "Oh Daryl," she cries as she turns around in his arms and he sees. Her cheek has a big ol nasty bruise and her eye is puffy too. He's so fuckin' mad he wants ta go kill that broad who hurt his Sweet Baby, but instead he wraps his little wife in his arm and pulls her close, "C'mere Sweet Baby, lemme hold ya."

He rubs her hair n her back tryin' ta sooth her, while keepin' his other hand down the back of her pants and fondlin' just a little, on accounta he knows she likes that. He just can't stand it when she cries, and thank gawd it's mostly turned to sniffling now.

She probably already had a good cry. He's careful as can be as he places his hand lightly on her cheek and asks, "What happened Beth?" Ya know he's overcome with concern when he calls her by her actual name.

She nods, "Let me fix your plate and we can talk." That's his woman, always thinkin' of him and his well-being. He doesn't argue either, he's fuckin' starving.

She puts a big bowl of venison stew and a plate of biscuits in front of him and he smiles, "Looks real good Sweet Baby."

She smiles and scoots her chair over closer to his, then sits down with a big bowl of leafs for herself. He don't believe in tellin' her how or what ta eat, she has her own ideas about these things, but tonight, well it's a different kinda night and he says, "Maybe it's be a good idea if ya had a little sumthin' warm in your tummy."

To his shock and surprise she says, "Maybe you're right. Salad doesn't really appeal."

He's so excited he jumps up hisself and gets her a bowl, settin' it down there in front of her, then he sits and butters her a biscuit, smilin', "Ya might as well go all out Beth, there's a damn blizzard n whatnot."

"Gosh I know, that's what started the trouble." He's shoveling in big bites of delicious stew while Sweet Baby nibbles at the edges of her biscuit and continues, "Cindy called this morning and said with this huge snowstorm coming we oughta get over to the WalMart Supercenter and make sure we were stocked up. I told her we had two deer in the freezer, a ham and lots of chicken and rabbit, plenty of milk, bread, eggs, potatoes, all that stuff."

"Then she asked me, 'yeah but, what about snowpocalypse snacks? Daryl and D.J. are probably gonna be snowed in there with you. They'll want their snacks.'"

"That sounded like the truth and I didn't want you to go without, so I asked Mama if D.J. could come over while I went to the store. Of course Daddy couldn't wait to come get him. Already promising him a big bowl of vanilla ice cream before they even got out the door. Apparently Mama bought a whole gallon for the storm."

While he's wolfin' down the groceries he can't wait ta hear what's next. "So anyway, I had in my mind the things you boys enjoy. I bought two of those gigantic bags of Cheetos for you, lots of salsa and tortilla chips, I bought Ritz crackers and I got plenty of popcorn for D.J., ice cream and Oreos, M&Ms and Snicker's bars and two cases of beer. And I got myself two boxes of Rose wine and two packs of hard seltzer. I was like some crazy snackaholic alcoholic."

"Anyway, I had just put the Ritz crackers in the cart when I saw the can of camping cheese. That crazy cheese you like so much that comes out of the top of a can. I'm not sure it's even cheese at all, but I know you love it, so I reached for it. That's when some insane woman pushed me away and grabbed it right out of my hand!"

"I just couldn't let her bully me that way Big Man, I'm a Dixon."

"I yelled, 'hey I had that first!' and I tried to grab it back. She pushed me hard and I fell into the shelves and a bunch of food fell on the floor. I was so embarrassed, but I was also so mad, so I kicked her leg and said, 'you give that back to me you gnarly bitch!' It just went on from there, her and me fightin' over a can of cheese like it was the last bit of food left on this earth."

"Then she punched me and Cindy let her have it good. Me and Cindy hurried to pay and we skeedaddled out of the store. But someone had called the sheriff's office."

Suddenly Daryl has stopped eating. His spoonful of delicious stew is poised at his lips and he asks, "The cops came?"

"Yes, it was that Deputy Shane Walsh guy."

Daryl's in the mood to kick some ass, he can't abide the way that asshole deputy is always eyeballin' Sweet Baby. He knows what's on the sumbitch's mind and it ain't a can of cheese. Mutherfucker, "So what did he say?"

"Well it seemed like he was just pretending to question us, you know, putting on a show for the lookie loos. He looked so serious, but he kept rubbing his hand along my arm while he was telling me I'd been naughty. Can you even believe he said that, a grown man, a cop, looks at me and says, 'Now Honey, you've been naughty.' It doesn't seem professional, does it?"

He can feel every muscle in his body twitching. He wants to go clean the deputy's clock so bad it hurts. But he won't leave Sweet Baby, not right now. She needs him. Him and the deputy will settle this another time and place. Instead he asks, "So he called ya Honey?"

"Well yes Daryl, every time I see him somewhere, and he seems to be everywhere I go, he calls me Honey. Like I said, it's so unprofessional."

God help that mutherfuckin' Deputy. But that's a story for another day.

So he asks, "Is D.J. still with Mama?"

"Yes, I called her when I got home and asked if he could stay so you and I could have some time alone. I didn't want to tell her it was because I had a big fat bruise that I didn't want D.J. to see."

He's betting dollars to donuts Daddy will see the altercation on the evenin' news, and sure enough right then the wall phone rings. He's on his feet, "You eat that stew, I'll get it."

He says, "Hello," listens and soon he's sayin', "Yes Sir, yeah, she's just fine. A little bruise is all. Yep, she's a scrapper all right. Yeah well it seems they was fightin' over a can a cheese. Yeah, that's right, that lousy stuff I like. Uh Huh. No, the cops came but she didn't get in any trouble or nuthin', they just told her don't do it again n whatnot. Uh huh. Ya want me ta come for my boy? Alright then, I'll be over when the snow settles and the roads are clear, and hey, thanks Pop and give Mama Greene my love."

He's worried about his woman and it ain't just the bruise. She looks so damn sad it's breakin' his heart. When he sits back down he takes her hand in his and asks, "Is there anythin' I can do for ya Sweet Baby?"

She looks at him with those big sad but beautiful blue eyes and says, "Yes, Big Man. I need you. I'd like us to take a shower together, I want you to wash my hair and…well all of me. Then I want you to carry me to bed and do that thing for me you do with your tongue."

Whoa, Sweet Baby don't usually spell it out quite so clear and he's not about ta let the moment pass. He's on his feet and pickin' her up in his arms, "C'mon girl, let's get that shower goin'."

"But Daryl, the dishes."

"The dishes'll keep but other things won't."

As soon as he sets her on her feet again she's tugging at his shirt and he's in no kinda mood ta fight her off. He lets her have at it, only causing her ta stop for the short amount of time it takes him ta pull the little sweatshirt up n offa her.

His smile widens as he gazes at his wife, cuz Sweet Baby she ain't wearin' a bra and them little titties a hers are the prettiest and perkiest little things he ever has seen.

She practically rips what's left of his shirt offa him and he smiles and says, "Oh yeah?" Drops to his knees and careful, but quick, he pulls those little yoga pants right offa her. She urges, "Don't tear them Daryl."

In his lovin' way he answers, "Fuck that, I'll buy ya new ones," And they both start laughing when she grabs a couple of handfuls of his hair and pulls his face directly into her nether regions. He don't mind at all, he just asks, "That's how ya wanna play, huh? Ya wanna do this right here, right now?"

"I'm not afraid Big Man."

"Well shit, if you ain't I damn sure ain't." But he sees the bruises and the red rashing and there's more to worry about than just that. He's careful as he lays her down on that fluffy rug and smiles down at her. He's lickin' his lips as he gets right between those slim legs, just before hoistin' them up and over his shoulders.

He doesn't waste time, he gets busy doing that thing with his tongue she likes so much, he knows how to relieve her tension and lift her spirits.

His mouth is stayin' real busy and his fingers have wandered up to her titties where they caress, tease, pinch and tickle. She's tuggin' at his hair tryin' ta pull him even deeper into her southern hemisphere, and even though he is mighty busy and concentratin' on his work, he feels himself smile. He does love making his Sweet Baby happy, and when she comes for him he's every bit as happy as her.

When she catches her breath she smiles up at him and says, "That was a wonderful start Big Man, but you're still half-dressed and I still need my hair washed."

He bounces to his feet, quickly loosenin' his belt buckle as he assures her, "Yes Ma'am I am prepared ta do whatever your little heart desires." Damn she loves her man. He is so good to her.

Daryl never did much care for showerin', but with his Sweet Baby he's learned ta love it. He's lovin' it right now as they thoroughly wash each other's bodies, hair, nethers and even toes. There ain't a part of either one of em that isn't feelin' the love.

She asks him, "Be a little gentle with me, okay Big Man?"

Shit, they do have a way of gettin' a little crazy, but yeah, he can take it down a notch or two. He's careful as he dries her and he finds he kinda digs that slow time of gettin' the job thoroughly done, while doin' plenty of touchin' and feelin'.

When he's sure he's done a proper job, and Sweet Baby is beggin' him ta make love ta her, he picks her up in his arms and carries her to their bed. He lays her down real gentle-like. This night is all about her and all, but that don't mean there ain't plenty of lickin', n suckin', n maybe even some pinchin' and some wayward fingers and wandering tongues.

Big Man spreads her legs and climbs between em when he tells her, "I gotta have just one more taste a that good stuff Sweet Baby."

Her hands are already weaving through his hair when she smiles and says, "I would never deny you Big Man, you go ahead and taste all you need to."

"That's my Sweet Baby, always seein' ta my happiness." And once again the Big Man makes them both happy.

He doesn't like to leave a job half done, so after she reaches nirvana he thoroughly tidies that sweetness up, making sure he hasn't missed even the tiniest bit of her tasty juices. When he's done another proper job he slowly begins lickin' and sucking his way back up her her battered little body.

He stops ta spend some time giving plenty of attention to those sweet titties, and his hand can't seem to help but wander back down to her sweet center. She's breathin' heavy again and he's more than ready. Being a lovin' husband n all he asks her, "Ya want on top, it might be better for ya."

"Yes," and before the word is completely out of her mouth he's reachin' his hand to the dresser drawer to retrieve the raincoat, but he freezes in place when her slim fingers wrap around his wrist and they share a long look and she tells her lovin' husband, "Not tonight Big Man. Not any night. Let's see what happens."

His mouth is on hers and he's goin' for the gusto as his arms slip under her and he rolls on his back. She straddles him, bends down and kisses her man and says, "I love you, Daryl."

He smiles back and says, "I love you Sweet Baby, you lead the way tonight. I'm just here ta make ya happy."

When he has sent her to her happy place at least three times, he goes ta his and everyone is just real damn happy.

Except for one thing, they barely had a chance ta eat. They're downright starvin' as they wander back to the kitchen for snacks. He grabs the can of cheese and the Ritz crackers, she reaches in the fridge for the bowl of leafs, he can't help hisself, he teases, "Ya can't feed a baby leafs."

She laughs, "You're right Big Man, I think I'll have some real cheese and some of those crackers."

She grabs the goat cheese and sits with him, carefully spreads the goat cheese on her cracker and he smiles at her as he squirts a little mountain of canned cheese on his cracker, then teases, "Ya got no idea what you're missin' Sweet Baby," and shoves it in his mouth. Then he tilts the can up and his head back and squirts some more of the fake cheese goodness directly into his mouth.

The man can't get enough a that good shit.

Once they've cured their hunger they're ready for a little sleep, then a little more lovin'. His arm is around her shoulders as they start to walk through the living room, but he pauses, then leads them to the big front window.

He flips the light switch and the outdoor lights come on, illuminating the whole outdoors. The huge and rapidly falling snowflakes are quickly filling up the yard and as he stares at the beauty of it all he asks her, "Ya know I'll do whatever ya want Sweet Baby, but do ya think it's a good idea to bring another child into this world? It seems like with all that's goin' on things have just gotten so fucked up."

She places her hand on his cheek as she looks in his eyes and says, "Dixons are survivors Daryl. There's no doubt in my mind it will be a child of yours who saves the world."

The End

_Or is it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all these years I'm finally putting this story to rest. I hope you enjoyed the final chapter and that you'll leave a comment. Thanks so much to new readers and to all who have stuck with this story, and with me, for so long. It means so much to me. I've been posting a new story, I'll Walk With You, and I hope you'll check it out. Until we meet again boys and girls, remember I truly do love ya large and appreciate you mightily, xo gneebee

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Daryl, this is gonna be a rough nine months! Thank you for reading and please review. Love ya Large! xo gneebee


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